Her eyes smiled as she asked, "Tell me about your first day my little Chirp."
I wore a crooked a smile, trying to hold in the tears that were forgotten, just right before the soft voice of my mother.
"It... it was fun--"
"I believe you."
And then, I bawled my eyes out, crying endlessly until my breathing began to wither. We stopped at our car, and while tears were still streaming from my closed eyes, and snot dripping down, my mother squatted down, and pinched my cheeks.
She smiled and said, "Look at me Birdie!" I shook my head, trying my best to look away.
When my immature self finally decided to face her, she said,"For your loved ones, you have to stay strong, and bottle everything up inside. It's when your loved one becomes as strong as you, or when you see them, can you begin to cry, scream, stomp, and do everything. You just can't cry by yourself for small reasons and people with small hearts, or else your Tear Jar will fill up, and you won't have any space left for the truly loved ones."
"B- but, I don't want to cry Mom--"
"Birdie. Crying and showing your weakness is just another way of bonding, just another way feel the other person's heart! It's a good thing, but too much of it towards everyone and everything would leave you with?"
I wiped away the left over tears and continued, "no more space for your true loved ones."
"That's my girl. I'm so proud of you, even if you did something bad. Sure I'll be mad, but I'll love you until you stop loving cookies."
And I never did stop loving cookies.
My eyes batted in the string of a blue light that crept all over the mountains. The sun hasn't risen yet, exactly portraying same my mind and heart. I felt tears on my face, streaming to my left side with a lacy fabric underneath under my cold cheeks. I slowly wiped my drool from my chin as I look with my swollen eyes. My head was leaning, crying, and drooling on a plump and unfamiliar shoulder, and there sat a woman, nonchalantly scrolling through her phone.
To break the horrific awkwardness, I tested, "Uhm, sorry. Didn't mean to--"
She turned off her phone, and beamed at me. "Darlin', you've got nothing to be sorry for. Had a bad dream perhaps?"
I lightly slapped my cheeks after sitting up, and replied, "Ugh, yeah. It was a pretty nostalgic one, but I don't know why I cried. I'm pretty sure it was supposed to be pleasant"
She sighed, "Girl, I understand. I've been having those types of dreams too."
The bus jumped over a speed bump, making me hit my head hard against the seat in front. We shared a hearty laugh, but then returned to our own business. After some time, we began to make small talk, but nothing related to weather or politics. Those small conversations allowed me to block out the negative thoughts and feelings from reality from entering my fragile head.
She suddenly leaned back, and said, "Mind if I pour out some feelings that I've been keeping to myself? Ugh, I'm at the brink, and I've been alone for some time now."
Without a single expression changing, I rubbed my swollen eyes and nodded while listening to her story.
"So, I'm 24 now, and I have a daughter. I guess it's just been... hard. Her dad's watching us from up above, and my daughter, Anne, she's the most precious little child, and only two years old. Her toddler years where parents are needed the most... oh my god, I'm not there with her! It would all be gone if I don't get there soon enough. The worst part is--"
She tucked in her dry lips in for a moment, trying her very best to keep in everything. I automatically patted her back,"You can keep going."
"Okay, ahem. My stepmother... wasn't the healthiest person in the world when I was in my teens. She was always snorting or injecting something, or always drunk on something. I hated her for that, but then I realized that I couldn't do anything. I packed up, and left with Anne's father."
Tiny, almost invisible tears rolled down her milk-chocolately skin, but then she wiped them away, and whsiper shouted, "Oh my fugging Lord! I'm still such a drama queen. Useless tears, and I'm totally embarassing myself in front of ya'." She shook her head and continued, "Now, she came back, and literally took Anne from me... So yeah! I've been traveling lightly to get Anne back. You probably don't really believe me, but I'd make a pretty damn good writer, right?"
Just like an explosive dynamite, she shook uncontrollably. With a pang, and without myself knowing beforehand, I whispered, "I believe you."
Strangely, a moment before these conversations began, I wished to literally kill someone, due to my horrible mood, but after that, I felt like myself again. This woman, whose name I don't even know, somehow became almost like a family member, or maybe like an aunt that I would see everyday that hadn't married yet and still understands me. Shaking the odd thoughts away, my shoulder had already gotten all wet, and my companion complaining that my shoulder was too bony. Of course, I took that as a compliment.
"Hey!! The two ladies in the back!! I gotta go home too ya' know?!"
"..."
"*SNORE*"
"Ugh... WAKE THE HELL UP BEFORE I CALL THE SECURITY!!! *Gesh* Mother Mary of Jesus Christ, I need to retire..."
We both jerked our heads, and hurriedly dashed out of the bus with bubbles still popping over our eyes. The sun was once again crossing its legs on the mountains, wearing a purple, pink, and orange cashmere scarf around its warm neck.
The woman stretched up all the way, heaving a large sigh. She stopped abrubtly, and shouted, "Oh my God, I totally forgot to ask you what your name was!!" She smacked her head, and turned to me.
I jumped lightly, trying to balance out my backpack. "It's Birdie Walterson. You?"
Her hearty laugh was accompanied by, "Evvie Green! Now that we at least know each other's names, mind if I ask ya' where you're going?"
"New York."
"From LA all the way to the Big Apple huh? You and I got some guts. Well, not that I'm in the place to say that."
I laughed such a pathetic laugh, and asked, "What about you? It seemed like you went on the bus around the same time and place as me."
"Oh, I'm going to New Jersey. Same way as you I guess. I'm planning on trackin' down my mother and Anne there, before it's too late."
I was itching to ask what she meant by "before it's too late," but before my lips opened for another question, Evvie exclaimed, "Well! It's morning, a whole new day for a whole new achievement! Let's get moving~"
She whipped her wild, curly hair into a bun and marched out with her hands in her pant pockets. I caught up to her, breathing in the new day, which strangely felt a lot better than last night where the darkness and the backpack in my arms seemed to choke and kick me into an eternal pit. But with a chattering new book with endless secrets and stories to tell beside me, I braided my hair once more, and jumped to a ledge, a level closer to the bright surface of the deep, dark trench of worries...
To be continued...
A/N: There might be mistakes, so I'm going back to it a bit later when I have time, but I'm publishing this anyways. It would be great if anyone could point out some errors in the comments or wherever. Sorry, and thanks for reading!
Edit* 2017: Changed some stuff. Thx for reading ya'll ^^
- WindyFontaine
ns 15.158.61.8da2
