Do you ever get the feeling you're being watched? No, I'm sure even if you did, you wouldn't know who was watching you. You've never met me. In fact, you don't even know I exist. Or maybe you do. Maybe you're just pretending not to notice because you don't know what to say. That's okay. I'm a little shy too. So why did I choose you, you may be wondering. Well, let me explain.

I first found you exactly 44 days ago on a Saturday afternoon, much like this one. You were helping your brother with work. I wasn't expecting you there. I don't think anyone was, really. Your laugh was the first thing I noticed when your brother introduced you. Boyish, charming, a little awkward but very sweet. That was my first impression of you. Exactly one week after that, I saw you for the second time. This time, I considered reaching out to you, but nerves got the better of me.

Would you notice?

Would you even respond?

Would I just be another one of your admirers that wouldn't be taken seriously?

In the time that I had spent deliberating, you had already charmed nearly everyone present and anything I could possibly say would have drowned out in the throngs of people now vying for your attention. I thought that it was pointless to try, that I could forget about you, but the more I learned about you, the more I found myself unable to brush these feelings away. I don't doubt that at some point you'll start wondering if it's just your imagination. You'll be asking yourself when it all began, this feeling of someone's eyes on you, but don't worry. You'll get used to it.

Weariness and fatigue can be quite consuming and the consequences are not always pretty. People will whisper and stare if you start acting strangely, but that's okay. Even if their gazes feel like sharp thorns at your side, I hope mine will feel like the warm sun, always watching over you, always keeping you going, even if we can't get any closer than this.

For you, it might feel like gazes just out of reach, but for me...for me, it's like living with a ghost. You're always there, I can hear you, at times I see you, but I can never really feel you. I've imagined countless scenarios where we'd meet and you'd share my affections. A little silly I know, but I can't help myself. Every little thing about you gives me butterflies.

You're an Aquarius, we'd work well together. If you believe in that kind of stuff.

You're an animal person. I find it adorable how you light up whenever you speak about your pets. That one black cat, Vincent was it? And his sister Matilde, are especially cute.

Your loyalty to your brother and the way you take care of your family is very commendable.

The little things you do and say bring much joy to my otherwise mundane days. If I had it my way, I would spend every waking hour with you. It's been weeks now and there are times when I find myself feeling a little more selfish than usual. Wanting to touch you, wanting to hold you, to kiss you, wondering if I could make you laugh just so I'd get to hear that wonderful sound again. I've somehow managed to stop myself from completely ruining things but as a result, I seemed to have stunted any progress as well. It makes me wonder if I truly want you or if you're just a fleeting dream on which to inflict my passions. Regardless, for now at least, you are all that occupies my mind and dare I say it, my heart.

If there's one thing you take away from this, let it be that my feelings for you are true. What started out as mere curiosity is now a hunger so deep I ache with it. Perhaps one day you'll become wise to the presence that never leaves you and you'll finally see that I was there all along, but until then, I shall remain right here, where you can't see me and I can reach you.

Yours truly,

The Unrequited177Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuwwqRM1ca6

Today, I may have given in to impulse. I swore that I was content just watching you from afar, but for far too long have I secretly entertained the idea of bridging the distance between us and finally speaking. Today, I decided it would be the first time we spoke. Was it all that I'd hoped it would be? Not at all. But that's alright, I'm sure you were just caught off guard and feeling a little shy. Your voice was as magical as I remembered it to be. It makes me incredibly happy that at least for now, I occupy your mind, just as you occupy mine. I have a suspicion that, that was the first and last time I would get to speak to you. It was hardly enough to satiate my longing. Despite it being a brief encounter, it felt like a dream.

I doubt these dreams are healthy for either of us but I'm sure it's clear by now that I simply cannot help myself. I had thought to myself that it was best to strike while the iron was hot however, I'm certain that rushing things will only push you further away. I don't want that. I want you to be as excited to speak to me as I am to you. I want you to enjoy my constant company. I want you to embrace the blissful feeling of being next to one another without a care for anything or anyone else.

Today makes me wonder exactly how close you'll let me get to you. The heavy silence that settles in the air when you leave has now become unbearable. It sounds rather selfish to have only gotten a taste and suddenly want more than what was given to me, I know. I can't say that's entirely my fault though. The little bits of attention you give me are enough to ignite sparks in my heart. Sparks turn into blazes and soon I'm consumed by a fervent longing that rattles my heart so intensely I end up giving in to the impulsive whims I have to catch your eye.

Is it working?

Do you see me when you close your eyes?

Can you hear me in your head?

As exciting as today was, I was left with a strange sense of unease. I'm certain that today's "chat," if you can even call it that, was but a fleeting passing in your day to day life. I've said that it's alright. I've tried to convince myself that I could be patient, but the longer I spend yearning for you, the more I find it increasingly harder to do so. Perhaps I should be more honest with myself.

I crave your attention. By now I've imagined countless times what it would be like to take your hand and have you finally look at me with equal passion. However, it feels like you've run off to somewhere unreachable. Have I catapulted us right back to where we started?

No...

This is different.

In the beginning, it was innocent charm that captured my heart. I was happy just watching you from the shadows, but when my infatuation became too much to bear, I pushed aside my shyness and reached out to you. Now that I have though, I can't help but feel like you've drifted even further away. Like the distance I sought to bridge had been greatly underestimated and now I'm falling between the gaps without the means to catch myself.

What should I do? How do I capture your heart? Perhaps these nagging questions will be answered the next time I see you. Until then, I hope you will at least remember me and our meeting today. It would make me very happy if you did.

Yours eternally,

The Unrequited.177Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLsIWDBEsEW

How could you?

To think, you would discard me so easily. Who is she? Why won't you let me see them? You abandon me so readily and refuse to even give me so much as an inkling of closure. Are they prettier? Funnier? Are their feelings for you stronger than mine? I wonder....

I spent months in admiration for you, doing nothing but adoring you. All that time, all of the longing and days spent wishing I could see you, dreaming of us together. But I guess that's all it was right? Just a dream. A pathetic fleeting fantasy that only I held. Despite your betrayal and against my own will these thoughts of mine continue to linger on you.

Perhaps it lingers for a little too long, but what is one to do when their heart and mind become so readily enamoured with someone? How does one forget such intense emotions? How do you stop the aching feeling in your chest when the one you love does not love you back? What about me wasn't good enough for you? These are questions I find myself asking quite often these days.

Part of me wonders if I had been a little closer or just a little quicker, would I have been the one that ended up with you then? As one sided as my feelings seem to be here, you too are at fault for letting me believe that there was something where there was nothing but an emptiness far to vast to find my way out of.

Perhaps my disappointment lies not with you or them, but with myself for not having acted upon my desires from the beginning. If I had done so, would I have been able to call you mine? I suppose these questions of mine are to remain unanswered as nothing more than little pieces of woefull heartache that will dissolve into the void. Let it melt into the emptiness until the pain and longing no longer cloud my memory and my thoughts of you become mere whispers in the wind. Let it become a distant hum of white noise that will one day no longer ring so loudly in my ears when I hear your voice.

Take all the colour from my world, steal the breath from my lungs, let me go back to the way I was before, when you did not hold my heart and I was but a shadow moving along in the dullness of societal waves.

Should your memory of me vanish, so too will mine of you and everything that once brought me joy. For what was once thought of as mine is no longer in my grasp and what was once yours is damaged and dead.

Take it all.

Whether or not what I had was just an illusion, in the end I am left with my own emptiness, but then again, maybe that's what I always had all along.

Regrettably,

The Unrequited.