Death followed me every moment it had.
It sucked on my arms and left a trail of destruction to bleed from them instead.
No matter how careful I was, the blackness destroyed everything it touched. I scrubbed and peeled at it, but it always returned; always splattering on the trail I walked.
Dad said it was my shield to protect me from anything bad in the world, but what did I need to be fighting off to have something like this?
There was nothing dangerous here. The sun was bright, the field outside our home was bursting with wildflowers dotted with bees, and the sound of the running river near our home was the only noise here.
I peeled my face up to the distance where the mountain range loomed, touching the sky as it formed its wall around us. Along the length of the top was a large concrete wall that was crumbling from how many holes had been smashed into it.
Maybe that's what he meant? I had to protect myself from whatever was up there?
I looked down at the sludgy flowers I was trying to weave together and then to my father sitting on the verandah with another man. Both of them cradled cups of hot drink that steamed up to thier smiling faces. They had matching white bands around thier right wrists that flashed names I couldn't read.
Everyone here had one but me. Only people up the mountain had them; that's what Dad told me anyway. He said the other names on them belonged to other people that were long gone. He always avoided it when I asked more about them.
Neither of my fathers liked to talk about the mountain. They avoided the topic of it and always steered me in the direction of something else. They said it was dangerous and that was that. I wasn't meant to be prying into things that didn't need to be spoken about.
How could I ignore it when things from up there were leaking into our side of happiness?
I knew that the moment I saw him that the other man at our house was from up there. He strolled onto our property so casually, like something was guiding him here. Dad ran into his dripping hands and welcomed him like a long-lost friend. He even cried.
The pushing for me to meet this odd man was what made me more nervous. It was expected of me to know someone I had never seen before. Things up the mountain were dangerous, but somehow, this man didn't count as one of them.
I kept my distance, observing from my patch of flowers just outside the fenceline. My other father also made himself scarce, watching from inside the house instead and flitting outside briefly to offer food or conversation.
He was just as unsure as I was of the stranger struggling to drink the liquid in the small cup.
Half his face was smashed into a mess of blackness and jagged teeth. It was like a creature that had been crushed by the tyres of a car and left to die on the side of the road.
Drool ran from the frightening mouth as freely as my disease ran from my arms. He had the same disease, but only around his hands. It didn't extend up to his shoulders like mine did.
Only half of him was possessed by this monster that jerked at his partially-caved head and made his head twitch randomly when he talked. The other half was plain, but obviously struggled to keep the feral side contained.
Maybe the plain skin was fake too? Both my father's wore fake human skins to hide thier monsters. The man looked like he knew this by the way he interacted with my father beside him. He looked like he idolised him.
Because he thought they were the same? Or had come from somewhere on the other side of that mountain together? The same place that had given them all those wierd bands?
Whatever it was, this man was the only exception. I had to know him, according to my father's.
Maybe I could use this advantage to learn more about the mountain that I wasn't being told?
How come it was like that? Why did I need to be protected from it? How come both my dads were always so nervous of it? Why couldn't I talk about it?
"Dad!" I called out cheerfully, really laying on the charm thick "look!"
Both of them turned to me instantly and grinned. The man twitched, looking to my dad before turning back to me.
I didn't like his wide smile baring all his glistening teeth. I frowned at it and tried to ignore it.
I held up the mess of flowers tearing apart in my hands and dropping to the ground around me. It smeared my face and dress as it fell.
"It was suppose to be a flower crown" I added in defeat at the slop I rubbed at, smearing more in the process.
"It's a good try!" Dad replied with light laughter in his voice "very pretty."
It looked like shit but I smiled anyway and hurriedly plucked more so I could race them over before they died again.
"Look!" I breathed when I ran through the gate and up the stairs "these ones have the prettiest colours!"
They were dead long before I could show him. The disease of my hands had sucked the life from the stems now bent over and clinging to thier crisped petals.
Just like all the other times too. My eyes lingered on the vase of dead flowers between the seats my dad and the man sat in. Above that was a framed picture I had slapped onto the paper with my hands when I was younger.
"It took me a while to get the hang of it all" the man sympathized and held out his hands to accept the ruined flowers "its annoying, but you can turn it into something useful. The painting is such a good idea."
I blushed at the praise and nodded shyly, shuffling closer to my dad who chuckled.
"What do you say?" he muttered to me.
"Thank you" I forced a smile at the man and his drooling mouth.
He grinned, growing wider when he saw I was staring at the teeth. Up close, I could see that they looked like they were broken parts of his normal teeth. The place where shattered met straight was a jumbled mess.
"Does it hurt?"
"Zenith" Dad warned me with a tap "don't be rude."
"It's alright" the man waved his concern aside "she's a curious girl. She's got to know these things."
Got to know? For what?
"They don't hurt" the man answered simply.
The say his mouth moved to form words was so strange. It didn't look like it would be possible for the feral side, but it squeezed and pulled just like the plain side to speak perfectly, even with those broken teeth drowning in drool.
How did he do it?
"Are you hungry?" I focused on a stream of drool slowly slipping from his mouth before he could wipe it away.
"I'm always hungry" he shrugged it off "nothing will stop that."
"Not even sandwiches?" I pondered.
Dad once made so many I felt like my stomach was going to split open. It was my fault for being so greedy.
The man laughed with my dad and shook his head.
"She's adorable" he commented "you've done a good job with her. Both of you."
Done a good job?
I frowned to my dad who forced a smile and put an arm on my waist. I saw my other one scowling through the window at the man.
He was nervous again. Both of them were.
Did he say the wrong thing? Was I being too rude?
"Thank you" Dad accepted the words politely while my other one slipped out of sight "she's a good girl when she wants to be."
I grinned at him and basked in the praise.
"Has she touched her first living thing yet?" the man asked more seriously now.
His eye was on my dripping arms. The way it was glued to them really made my skin crawl in discomfort.
The front door swung open and my other dad stood there fiercely.
"Thank you for visiting but you should leave" he almost snarled "it's getting late."
It was still afternoon. Barely an hour had passed since the man had arrived.
"It's a honest question" he defended himself, twitching "I just want to make sure she's ready for when it happens!"
"What happens?" I blurted out.
"Zen, inside" Dad barked from the door, moving outside so I could have a clear path "go get cleaned up, OK? The adults need to talk."
I did as I was told, pausing at my dad's side to look up at him sadly.
"It was nice seeing you again, Zennie" the man leant forward with a smile.
I grinned back before I felt a hand push me inside so the door could quickly be closed.
I didn't wait. I trudged past the kitchen to the hallway. Straight ahead was the door to the backyard, but I wasn't going there. I took the stairs to my left and climbed to the top where a door greeted me.
It was an odd place to put a bathroom, but it worked for urgent trips. My bedroom was beside it to the left while Dad's room was to the right at the end of the hall.
There were other doors too, but they led to boring cupboards of towels and sheets. One was a long one with brooms and mops in it.
The cold water was nice under my fingers. It helped drown out the angry voices outside trying to remain quiet. Every now and then, one would rise up before returning to the hush.
Why were they so angry anyway? It's not like the man said anything bad.
I looked down at my hands being pounded by the water. The disease didn't budge from it. It only made the blackness thinner as it was pulled down the plug hole.
Touching things was bad, I knew that. I would kill them just like how I killed the flowers out the front. They'd be nothing.
And the man was curious about that. Had he killed someone like that before? By touching them?
Grabbing down a hand towel, I scrubbed at the sludge on my face while steadily staining the clean fabric in the process.
The man had to know about this disease. He had the same thing pouring from him too.
There was no saving my face. It was already streaked by the soaked towel wiped over it. My dress was ruined too. Another one forever stained black.
I had to be quick if I wanted to catch the man away from my father's. He wouldn't tell me anything with them around.
Peering around the bathroom door, I strained to listen for the hushed fighting. I heard the hissing and hurried down the stairs I paused on when the front door creaked open.
There was an angry sigh, the door still open. I could see Dad holding onto the door while my other one guarded the front and glared at the man to leave.
This was my chance!
Taking the last few stairs, I reached the back door and pulled it open so I could hide behind it and carefully close it as the front was slammed.
I didn't have much time at all! I had to be quick!
Sprinting around the side of the house, I saw the man looking back at the front sadly. He saw me paused at the side and glanced around like he was going to be caught doing something wrong.
"What on earth are you doing?" he fretted while approaching me "you should be inside!"
"What did you mean earlier?" I piped up "about killing things?"
The man straightened, checking the front door again.
"We can't talk about this" he whispered "you need to go."
He pushed me gently back and started up his trek along our property.
The fence was quite a distance away. Past that was a dirt road snaking to the main one obscured by a line of trees.
He must have parked his car there. I couldn't see it near our boundaries.
"I think it happened to you" I raced to his side "someone touched you with this."
I held my arms out and let them swing back.
The man kept walking, trying not to acknowledge me.
"What were you talking about?" I pried, leaning over to try and see his expression "why were they so angry?"
"I said things I shouldn't have" he sighed back and checked the house "you aren't coming with me, Zennie."
I checked too, seeing the doors still closed for now.
"I can go to the fence" I smiled to him.
There was nothing wrong with that. I was still staying where I was supposed to while seeking my answers.
"How come you came here?"
The man squinted at the sky so he didn't have to look at me. When he did, it was only a glance.
"To see you" he admitted and stopped now "you've grown so much."
"I don't know you" I told him firmly "my dad said not to talk to strangers."
The man chuckled, shaking his head that jerked and drooled.
"He's a smart man. You shouldn't be talking to me."
"But you know me from somewhere" I followed him as he picked up the pace again "so I should know you."
"I knew you too long ago" he shrugged "these things happen. It was bound to happen that you'd forget me."
I saw how much the man was hurting. His trail of disease matched mine in the grass as we walked side by side to the fence line.
He wiped his mouth, smearing the mess onto his pants leg. My dress was the exact same.
" Are..." I started, hesitating when my gut twisted on my swallowed words "...are you my real dad?"
It made sense. He was just like me. We had too many similarities for him just to be a stranger from the mountain.
And my dad's, they weren't like him or me. One monster was sort of similar to this man's caved head, but that was it. The other was different to both of them again; nothing like this man. He spoke in a different language when he got frustrated or wanted to share information I wasn't supposed to know. He was the reason I was struggling to keep up with the complicated tongue.
But this man here didn't have that. He was simple and easy to read. He didn't hide himself away like my other father's did. He wasn't ashamed of himself.
"I'm just checking on you, Zennie" he replied roughly.
I liked it when he messed up my name like that. It made me feel warm and bubbly inside.
"How come you left me here if you are my dad?" I asked him still trudging onwards "have you come back for me?"
He stopped again and bent down to my level, his eye softening when it met mine.
"Zennie, I'd never leave you anywhere I didn't think was safe for you" he whispered and reached over to take my hand in his "this is your home, with your family. I can't do what they do and give you what they can. I'm not what they are. I'm not taking you from that."
I felt the bubbling in my gut fester into rolling dissapointment. It lurched, pricking at my eyes.
"Zennie" the man soothed, wiping my tears he smeared back onto my skin "don't cry. I can't change anything."
"B-but you can help me" I kept my fingers locked in his that tried to slip away "I don't know how to get rid of this disease."
"Darling" he cooed and opened his arms for me to rush into "you can't. You are very special and have to carry it with you to stay safe. It grows with each generation born from a Carrier."
I leant from the man, trying to understand his wierd words.
"Your Pop had dripping hands like mine" he held them out so that they could splatter on the grass "your mother had ooze up to her elbows. You have it to your shoulders. One day, when you have children, it will spread further and further until they look like this."
He gestured to his feral side that twitched in response.
"That's a very, very long time away" he reassured me "you only need to focus on now. Keep yourself safe by touching living things. They'll listen to you and protect you."
"They will?" I frowned through my tears "but Dad said doing that was bad."
"HEY!" I heard shouting cut through the air "ZEN! GET AWAY FROM HIM RIGHT NOW!"
I saw Dad race out the front door and barrel down the stairs. He tore around the fence and was sprinting towards us. My other father paused at the door before racing out of the house towards us.
The man smiled at thier concern and lifted himself up.
"It's only bad if it gets out of control" the man placed his banded hand on my shoulder "start small. You'll do just fine, Zennie."
The bubbling was back and I beamed at the man.
"I've got to go, but I'll tell your mum all about how big you've gotten. She'll like that."
My Mum. I hadn't heard about her yet.
"Is she nice?" I begged while the man climbed over the fence I grabbed onto "is she like you? Is she like me?"
"She's wonderful" he replied happily "you've got her lovely hair and my eyes. Couldn't be more perfect."
I could hear the thundering of feet getting closer. I pushed against the fence in desperation.
"Will I see you again?" I panicked.
"Probably not" the man shook his head and smiled "but this was fun, hey, Zennie?"
No! He couldn't go like this!
"Wait!" I called out and started to scale the wooden logs of the fence before hands tore me away and held me "WAIT!"
The man kept walking while I wailed out wordlessly for him to return.
A hand pressed me into a warm shoulder I was muffled against. I clung to my father's shirt, staining it instantly.
"It's alright" he soothed while rubbing my back "I'm here."
I didn't want him. I wanted the man walking through along the gravel road alone. I wanted my mother I had never heard of. Anything but to be in these arms trying to rub away my dispair.
I wanted to run beyond the fence I was being carried further from and never turn back. To hold hands with someone who I knew I couldn't hurt. I needed it.
Watching the wildflowers around us, my heart ached to find the happiness in death trailing its path of decay behind me back toward the house, and behind the man walking out of my life without looking back.
ns 15.158.61.18da2
