Dishonesty
Arrogance
Cockiness
Absurd determinism
God complex
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He possessed all of these. Every single one. It was infuriating.801Please respect copyright.PENANAfF9mt12ALm
It was a simpler time. Or so we all thought. The king was away doing God’s work, he had taken all the best men and raised our taxes but we did’t mind much - it was for God.801Please respect copyright.PENANAz3J7fzC52J
But then the king was away longer than he said he would be. And then he managed to get himself captured. His mother set about raising money for a ransom, but it was too much. The villages were bursting at the seams trying to hold everything together. The mill in our village had to be shut down; the family could no longer afford to run it. Then without the mill, our bread supplies ran low. We had to buy from other villages, and they charged extra. As a result, we couldn’t afford our taxes. And the Sheriff was anything but forgiving. Small children had hands amputated, or spent nights in the dungeon for stealing a crust of bread.801Please respect copyright.PENANAYUhn1dLwnX
And then Robin returned home. Long haired, travel weary and carrying a shield scratched and battered with blood stains that were not his own. And suddenly there was hope. Surely his return foreshadowed the return of the king, the return of all our soldiers in the Holy Land.801Please respect copyright.PENANAIExQdIy8Y1
He walked through the village, nodding his head at each peasant working in the fields.801Please respect copyright.PENANAM11qz1M089
It took a few weeks before he was officially an outlaw. He managed to get on the sherif’s last nerve. Granted that wasn’t difficult, but Robin managed to do it with remarkable speed.801Please respect copyright.PENANAT6aFVlV7WR
He moved into the forest, telling himself that he was in the right. Stealing from the rich and giving to the poor.801Please respect copyright.PENANAyxfZ8yJ8qc
He was still young, and the years in the Holy Land had given him a distinct ‘bad boy’ quality that made women weak at the knees. He had seen the world, travelled far and wide, spoke different languages now, and above all he believed in justice and protecting those weaker than himself. His dark brown eyes would flash with rage when he saw another peasant hand over a bag of coins to the sheriff’s tax men. His slender fingers would caress the sword hanging at his hip, wanting to draw the blade and chase the tax collectors off. He brought hope. Men would nod their heads with more than respect when he passed, women would fall to their knees with thanks when he bestowed them with a little extra cash. Everyone seemed to adore him.801Please respect copyright.PENANAvSFaZRCNjG
But I found him insufferable.
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1. Dishonesty801Please respect copyright.PENANA2Gy5K8KCEX
The lies could fall from his lips so easily. So easily it almost worried me. Marian would go to see him, and I would come along, always worried for her safety. She would confront Robin about that carriage he had robbed last week, it contained a donation from a lord who wanted King Richard home so desperately, he had willingly raised money from his own household. He wanted it to go to the King, not to the poor. She had insisted. It wasn’t a tax. It wasn’t the Sheriff asking for the coins. The lord gave it willingly. Robin would smirk slightly. But he was rich, he would say. Marian would wait for a moment, a puzzling look on her face. I rob from the rich. Robin would offer as an explanation, saying it so lightly that anyone would have thought he was discussing the weather. If it makes you sleep better at night, I’ll no longer rob from those willingly donating money to the Sheriff and the King’s ransom effort, he said earnestly. Marian nodded and headed back home, I went with her. Of course he had lied. Only three days later, he robbed a carriage from the same lord, taking every penny.
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2. Arrogance801Please respect copyright.PENANA4gFm4pgllf
I don’t know whether it was his brush with the Holy Land or just the way he saw the world, but as the days wore on, he saw himself as the saviour of the people of England. He would steal from the sheriff incessantly, throwing coins back at the poor in the villages around Nottingham. But then the Sheriff would raise the tax again, higher than it had been the first time, and bleed the peasants dry once more. So Robin would rob the Sheriff again. And the Sheriff would raise taxes again. And Robin would steal them again. And again the Sheriff would raise them… and so it went on, and on. And on. It seemed that it would never end, not at least until the King returned.801Please respect copyright.PENANAAVWZEmEgDQ
“It’s not theft! It is the Sheriff stealing from the people, not I!” He insisted. Determined to prove himself in the right. “I am right here Marian, see. Because who else will look after the people whilst the King is away?” He would say. Marian would take it up with him several times. Cousin to the King, and conscious that the taxes the Sheriff was raising would go toward saving her beloved cousin, the captive King, something about Robin’s activities did not sit right with her.801Please respect copyright.PENANAevnKHo6JkU
“You think you are as important as the King?” She would say incredulously.801Please respect copyright.PENANATHmUn9E7RW
“Of course I am.” He would say, with a shrug and a small grin, like it was the truest thing in the world. He genuinely believed it, too.
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3. Cockiness801Please respect copyright.PENANAdsKNrRR4zb
Perhaps this is the quality that annoyed me the most. Robin Hood was under the impression that every woman in the North of England spent every moment of every waking day swooning over him. He would wink at the young widow on the edge of town every time he gave her a leather pouch of coins. He would smile at every lady he would see, but his smile was not a nice I am pleased to help you smile. It was a I’m an outlaw, and I know how attractive that prospect is to you. Wouldn’t you like to have me all to yourself, just for one night? smile. It was infuriating.801Please respect copyright.PENANAJqthuDE06V
Yet although he would flirt with any woman he met, he was never serious. Marian was different. As her lady in waiting, I went everywhere with her. I saw how Robin’s face would change when he saw her. I saw the immense effort he put into whatever he was doing when she was around. When she was in the forest, he would swing down a piece of rope to descend from up a tree, rather than use the ladder to his left. He was a notorious show off. He would land on the ground with a light thud and a smirk on that perfectly chiseled face of his.801Please respect copyright.PENANAF9HQNOGIcz
“Couldn’t stay away from me, could you Marian?” He would say, every time. She would smile (when she wasn’t annoyed with him) and he would offer her a drink.801Please respect copyright.PENANAcVMk0sy1R2
As she would leave, he would walk the pair of us to the road. He would say “You’ll be back tomorrow. You couldn’t stand to be away from me for more than a day.” Marian would shake her head, telling him he was delusional with a schoolboy’s crush and he would laugh. “You say that, Lady Marian, but yet here you are. In my forest. Again.” He would say with a wink, turning away from her and walking back to his camp, turning to look back at her as he went.
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4. Absurd Determinism
“Robin, it is folly! You’ll get us all killed!” Little John said, from his seat on the tree stump in the corner.801Please respect copyright.PENANAjpIcY5GGcY
“The sheriff is moving almost his entire funds through here, it is the perfect opportunity!” Robin insisted.801Please respect copyright.PENANA3hWykSD8Og
“Robin, the sheriff will have that chest guarded more securely than anything else. Whilst he is moving the chest, the majority of his guards will be on the look out for you instead of guarding the castle. Why don’t we attack the castle instead?” One man suggested. Robin shook his head.801Please respect copyright.PENANAWZVniXwGC4
“There will be little money in the castle. It will all be in that chest.”801Please respect copyright.PENANA8bi8KKyEcN
“Robin, the king needs that money to be freed. Once he is freed, he will get rid of the Sheriff and return England to peace. Surely we can let this one chest go. Just this one.” Little John chimed in.801Please respect copyright.PENANANf0iAbkV6r
“You sound like Marian.” Robin said, growing irritated. “We take the chest. That will be the end of it.”801Please respect copyright.PENANA7P28t8xgk9
Another man attempted to protest, but one look from Robin and he stopped.801Please respect copyright.PENANAB19RtB8DhX
“I am Robin Hood. If I want to do something, I will do it.” He said, his eyes burning with determination.801Please respect copyright.PENANA1sQpStNupg
He was an idiot. He would never listen to reason. Once he had decided to do something, nothing could sway him. That was why he could never leave Marian alone for too long - he had long ago decided he was going to marry her.
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5. God Complex
At first, Robin was reluctant to take a life. The horrors of the Holy Land echoed still in his mind, stopping him from releasing the arrow, even when he wanted to so badly. Even when the villain in question deserved death. Many times he had the sheriff in his sights. Many times he had lightly ran his finger of the shaft of the arrow and put it in place, hearing the string of the bow tighten as he pulled it back as far as it would go. He would take a moment, to aim, to think. And then he would relax the string and put the arrow back in his quiver.801Please respect copyright.PENANAglpJJJcIMP
But that was at the start. Later, he lost all qualms of killing servants of the sheriff. He killed the guards that protected the coins easily. Even then, he was determined to show off. Instead of shooting one arrow, he would load two or three onto the bow at the same time and shoot them all at once. He was a remarkable showman. But then Marian would arrive in the forest, furious that he had taken an innocent life because only God could give and take life!801Please respect copyright.PENANAXatCXVS0G4
“I am a crusader. I have the right to take life on the behalf of God.” He would say with a shrug.801Please respect copyright.PENANA12RRVZreLx
“You were a crusader.” I would point out. “Now you are an outlaw in the forests of England.”801Please respect copyright.PENANA31TCE3AEh1
He would wink as though my comment did not bother him, and turn back to Marian.801Please respect copyright.PENANAWw8H0lcD3K
“I am right, Marian.” His young face smooth and his eyes burned into hers, willing her to believe him, because this was one rare moment when he wasn’t lying. He truly believed himself right. “If I don’t protect these people, no one will. They need me. They would be lost without me. Perhaps a crusade should be launched here, in Nottingham. I shall lead it! Robin Hood: God’s representative here in Nottingham!” He would say with a laugh.801Please respect copyright.PENANASxFiG7CbTa
Marian would shrug. “I am glad you are back Robin, but do you really need to kill the Sheriff’s guards?”801Please respect copyright.PENANAODH1LxS3R4
“Yes. They would kill me, given the chance. And we can’t have that now can we?” He said with a small laugh, brushing hair away from her face.801Please respect copyright.PENANASPZSQSO2aJ
She smiled a little.801Please respect copyright.PENANAMNvIS0dILi
“I am Robin Hood, Marian. Robin Hood.” He said softly, as though that explained everything.
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I know he’s a good man. I know he means well and I know that Marian sees the good in him. What’s worse is that no matter how much he annoys me, how much he infuriates me, I cannot hate him. His cockiness charms even me, even when I try so hard to resist. His determinism angers me, because sometimes he is simply stupid, but I cannot help but admire his ambition. His arrogance humours me and even I must admit, although I cannot stand Robin Hood, he’s irresistibly likeable.
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