Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.
Why did the ghost use the elevator?401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSWv6MRJeGN
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To lift his spirits.401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMZu1AcV0RT
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNke5cvkymh
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Claude.401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtHLaNmXGqh
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS37QfHDfGn
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Demeter wasn't working.401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSIDCHuq2oU
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.
He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnjXk77GrQ8
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Genie: What is your final wish?
Kid: I wish I were you.
Genie: Weurd, but alrught.401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxoFNIdYGF4
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLKRQMd2IXl
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"Bison."401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq72xKS3Gd8
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Bread is like the sun.401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeu4RRNc27h
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQ7QvecMDa
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYBXXPbCvWJ
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyuEfwzQ6y1
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Its butt.401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzULnEbiCGo
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYyXmjxjl2m
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp9AYEQSjp0
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First, a tractor.401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZLgpqUEiGj
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsWTYq9Jv81
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Gravy.401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEfu2xPR4nn
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlamP2ruuVG
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Now he's a rockstar.401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrt0J2lCU8N
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.
The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."
The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"
The doctor replied, "Denise."
The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"
The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiYHqMh68TL
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Do trees poop?401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY7uM5hoCuv
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI8W8WobugZ
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ551BcUAg6k
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwUzyD2Qmv0
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhDVE5fe56z
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She couldn't control her pupils.401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzrKXIwMENo
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What do peppers do when they're angry?401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMXXlOV0OC8
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They get jalapeño face.401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEiaCj3oiY4
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Today someone told me I am average.401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSaG9ANZLLx
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I told them that's just mean.401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb6pZhyxufG
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTnathBvz5y
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Pointless.401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLpb36hG13
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"
Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"
Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"
Dude 2: "Brochure."401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqACoVz5EGj
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3EsHWsfJBc
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSJQxjHKeHR
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgp5A5jQe83
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I tried yesterday but I mist.401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7oRcdaspTQ
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWgNl3iMDrj
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUPX9U6IWi
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtFdNTsz2st
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA86ZrNELBi
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What has four wheels and flies?401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy2RX87plan
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A garbage truck.401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJ0bU1KVKa
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡldR7mkohhK
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...so I pushed her over.401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡul1lSYeN2B
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMrAAnMvrpR
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQgdzRYHBf2
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Uh, yeah. That's all I got.
ns 15.158.61.18da2
