「你係咪有好多女性朋友㗎?」Priscilla對我說。321Please respect copyright.PENANAe7ZHaRW1DG
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我:我冇乜女仔friend㗎。321Please respect copyright.PENANA3GiNAoRfsF
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Priscilla:下?你咁都冇?偽娘唔係應該有好多女性朋友咩?321Please respect copyright.PENANAV2smyeYV0i
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我:幼稚園至到小學初期嗰時會,但而家冇曬呢種緣份lu。321Please respect copyright.PENANAvbWh5hejCV
我:講起上次拍拖,都已經係8年前,嗰個女仔係喺Facebook識。321Please respect copyright.PENANALCC7q5dNLz
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說著,我又跟Priscilla說起自己的情史。321Please respect copyright.PENANAbcgSnNM7dR
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在大年初一的早上,我和Priscilla在一家中式餐廳吃點心。321Please respect copyright.PENANAPy4m1C88jd
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我是Andy,又名水神,是本長篇故事的主角。321Please respect copyright.PENANAd4xb6pMspJ
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這個長篇故事,就要先由我和Priscilla說起。321Please respect copyright.PENANAtVz2vuvrul
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就算沒有看過上一篇故事,看過前言的人,都大概知道我擁有「女裝大佬」我身份。321Please respect copyright.PENANAW2W0PFbZLt
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先報上自己的status和stage,A1,stage最高記錄是 3。321Please respect copyright.PENANAxpmpHiEO3p
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自從8年前和一個在Facebook認識的女生,談過一個月這麼久的戀愛之後,我就再沒有談過戀愛。321Please respect copyright.PENANAgefm78ZQTk
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甚至嚴格來講,從成年人的角度看,那只是霧水情緣,算不上是正式戀愛。321Please respect copyright.PENANA5bOBW6oIhQ
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為甚麼之後的8年都是單身?雖然我也有宅男的性格,但這不是主要原因。321Please respect copyright.PENANA3HLFpvUchr
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真正的原因,是我沒有把意欲投放到感情生活之上。用比喻說,就像一台電腦進入了休眠模式。321Please respect copyright.PENANAWnnQJ6G65R
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第二個主因,是我把「男生對女生存有性幻想」這件事,想成一件不乾淨的事情,然後再建立出「柏拉圖式的男女關係是最純潔」的價值觀;這也同時解釋了,為甚麼我一直只在stage 3 止步不前。321Please respect copyright.PENANAEhah2dvAxg
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不像主流的宅男,我沒有心儀的網紅、主播、男神或女神。看到女神,我多數都在想:怎樣模仿她的衣著打扮?性方面,我頂多只是戀物。321Please respect copyright.PENANAg3AMZuPzHQ
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相信有不少人都會好奇,到底偽娘的感情生活是怎樣?找男生談戀愛?找女生談戀愛?321Please respect copyright.PENANAcfuwbR0Uj2
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在社會的價值觀規範之下,很多人都會直覺地認為:偽娘就只有找男生談戀愛。321Please respect copyright.PENANAovqq7Q848Y
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大錯特錯!偽娘也可以找女生談戀愛。321Please respect copyright.PENANAdDQ3yNO2h5
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我就是這種人。321Please respect copyright.PENANASCA6qZVgdv
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至於我的性取向,到底是甚麼?321Please respect copyright.PENANAMKu4AeocFg
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我曾經回答過異性戀,也回答過無性戀;但無論如何,我就是最傾向找女生談戀愛。321Please respect copyright.PENANAuzYqhiYZFm
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「無性戀」這個字其實被人爭議了很久很久,有人說是的確存在,也有人說它只是個偽命題。321Please respect copyright.PENANAtPE0Kjbd0C
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有些觀點認為,人不可能完全沒有「性」,要麼就是「性慾低下症」,不然就是受到後天的環境影響,例如文化、成長背景的影響,所以認為「無性戀」是個偽命題。321Please respect copyright.PENANAt4XhYcjkZi
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舉例說,有些人從小時候,所接受的教育,或者是被某些電視劇集所影響(一些低質劇集甚至把「性」和「性侵」劃些等號),讓他覺得:「性」是不乾淨的東西;然後就是令他以後都會抗拒進入性愛關係,形成所謂的「無性戀」。321Please respect copyright.PENANAvATCF3s3Lu
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這頓早茶,以AA制完。321Please respect copyright.PENANAFEpEkl0ec9
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我送著Priscilla回家,在路上,「肢體接觸」這四個字像一個鋼造的框架,牢牢地鎖在自己的腦海裡,又是為做而做的接觸;我都是在最近才真正有「肢體接觸」這個概念的。321Please respect copyright.PENANAmK7uSGUzig
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在過馬路時,我眼睛又是瞄著她的手臀,想了一想,好不容易才敢伸手撓下去。321Please respect copyright.PENANAZK9gh5iajV
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我:下次再玩啦!321Please respect copyright.PENANAjO96mE8bCG
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Priscilla:來一個抱抱吧!321Please respect copyright.PENANAEOn3xgh3NT
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在Priscilla家的大廳裡,我和她來了一個擁抱道別。321Please respect copyright.PENANA4Zo3Fz6cZh
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這個擁抱,只能算是一般社交式的擁抱;因為我很清楚地感受到,她只是來了一秒,然後就抽身離開,彷彿不再讓我擁抱多幾秒。321Please respect copyright.PENANADhzkaGioxS
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到底,是真的無性戀,或只是未有把「性」這個靈魂解放出來?321Please respect copyright.PENANAIQ7JEfF16N