Some College, Thursday, 11:00 pm
I always saw Florida man as a fine lizard creature of integrity, much like the elusive Goat Man or probably the Loch Ness Monster since she hasn't killed anyone, yet. Many of these peculiar specimens when courteous creature who engaged in activities of catch and release. The most recent victim and the case I was set to investigate, has mysteriously returned from Florida Man's dark musty man cave that probably has a hot tub and he probably spent his time grilling, fishing and watching NASCAR like the most intense Florida Men. That's right, my research proves that Florida Man is more than a Legend but a Legacy.
"I'm Detective Bodacious, we're glad to have you back son however I need to bring you in for questioning." I yank the kid away from his friend to shake his hand and properly introduce myself.
"Nice to meet you B-bodocity? I just got back from y'know-" This generation lacks the ability to use charisma from a screen.
"It's Bodacious, and I never said you had a choice James"
Some Police Department, Friday 12:39 am
"Dude, I mean Detective Bodacious can I like get up and leave, it's getting late and the professor said he didn't care that I went missing and wants me to back to class tomorrow." The kid sat in the interrogation chair across from me files on the mysterious case before me, there has to be more than one Florida Man, it's the only way it could make sense.
"You can get up and stay, we would be done here if you would just speak up!" I slam my hand against the table, the kid flinches back establishing the fact I have efficiently asserted my dominance in this situation.
"We would be done if you hadn't stopped and eaten at Dairy Queen!" The audacity, the temerity, the gull, the absolute unhinged audacity.
"I asked you if you wanted anything and you said no! I was gonna pay for you!" I hit my hand against the table to shatter the average man's bones, but I am not the average man.
"Well maybe I didn't want you musty old white cop money!" I grit my teeth on the urge of an outburst. No, Bodacious you've changed you're not that man anymore.
"Listen we believe that this is more than just an urban legend. He's more than just a single entity. I believe all the evidence suggest that there is a Florida Man Nation. I believe that you ,James, are the only one who can take it down. So what do you say son." Trying my hardest to give on a benevolent but of course still manly smile.I reach out my hand longingly hoping that he would join our attempts. "Join us?"
James looks at me and begins to reach out his hand.
To be Continued
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