Tell me one thing, did I ever ask to live? Did I even want to exist? You're not sure if I will ever get the answer to these questions are you? It's fine, I don't think I really want to know the truth. But tell me something else, When did I start to question my existence? What I mean by this is am I really here? Am I in a coma? Is the life I am living now all fake? Are the people in my life fake as well? I can help but to think of these things, all these theories, speculations, conspiracies keep flooding my head non stop.
- 你所听到的和你所看到的都意味着你不明白 - This is what my mind draws to when I have these thoughts - What you hear, and what you see both mean you don't understand - I can't rap my head around the meaning behind it. Someone very close told me this once, now they're nowhere to be found. The unsure feeling carves holes in my mind, that maybe, just maybe I am alone. but who can really be sure? I'm fine not knowing. 153Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm017PgzR1S
Is it normal to love something so much that you would be willing to let it go just for its happiness? because that is something I have never been able to comprehend. Although it makes perfect sense to other people in this world, I can't seem to find my place in it. Most emotional things never made much sense to me, and believe me I have feelings just not enough to understand. From a young age I was taught to never show my emotions, and never to have them since I wasn't shown any from the person that swore they would always care, protect, and love me. 153Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRVCU3Xl2nE
I still don't quite understand what happiness is, but I will never stop trying to figure it out, nor will I stop attempting to feel it. People tell me I'm careless, heartless, but I think otherwise. I just need time to get to know myself more. As a child I never felt comfortable enough to show my real self, so I hid everything from the people that truly loved me. And I say ''Loved me'' only because I know for a fact that is the truth. I don't feel that a person with the kind of secrets I hold should be loved by anyone, not even forgiven. I can't hold them much longer, my mind might self destruct.
- Never underestimate what the power of your mind can do or you might find yourself in a box that will never open.
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