I was out on a walk today , just me. And as my body went into the relaxed state my focus shifted from me to a near by bush. There were cats around it , three of them. Looked like a family - moma cat - the middle cat child - the curious younger one. They moved onto the grass as I took another round along the park. They were all playing and it reminded me of families in a weird way. 128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡISYNsPRrVZ
Lately things have started to be even more complicated and distressed among families. They all eventually drift apart as individuals and all remains is a word ' family' for the name sake.
I have always been close to my family. Mainly after the whole covid situation. But its just that I guess people in my family grew closer to one another as time passed after becoming a nuclear family. It was as if among all our office going neighbour's , our business oriented mindset made us different and less popular. It had taken hard work for me as a pre - teen to understand the social dynamics that surrounded us. And as I grew my love for the psychology and families grew.
As I looked at those cats I thought of how I would love to be a children's counselor or maybe something in the field. I haven't yet decided. Still have two months before going to college. I have the permission to visit from a hospital for shadowing purposes. I have loved to watch surgeries , especially the brain and open heart ones. I have a lot of admiration for ER and other doctors , would love to be like them. But to be honest I don't think I could crack the entrance exam and survive the pressure of the position.
I once had helped a classmate through her asthma or anxiety attack ( I think it was both.) . It felt good , not because I had helped but because she was able to fight through it.
Its just I am not sure. The one thing I never want in my life is regret. I sometimes think its a fling or a hobby. Like art or writing. And I've always love human behaviours and stuff. Maybe it is just a hobby. I don't know.
And I don't know why I am writing this. Its probably dangerous to violate my rule of : Maintain privacy at all times. No one should know what shit is cooking in my brain. Though its for my benefit and protection. I don't care. Its only late at night when my brains too tiered to fight my impulsive thoughts. And I end up being reckless. Ha Ha Ha ..... I hate me ( spends 30 mins trying to make the cry face. Nope, can't do. ) Bye.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
ns 15.158.61.48da2
