Its weird how I start to hate someone someone at the very point when the treat me like shit.
I love them of course I love them and that means there every single word reaching the depth of my heart , but who cares they don't even think before they throw the mess on my heart. At the very point I start to hate the person for doing that, I just can't help it. I can't even pull myself to do same with them, cause I think my self in the situation I was in at that time and don't want them to feel that :} . Even if do they show me it won't be stopping them to pull something more hurtful then last time, what can I do then I can't help but to hate them and me to put me in this situation.
This hating emotion only stays until I am done dealing with myself { involving a lot of crying and pulling myself together } can't help but to get normal and start thinking how dramatic I was to have those such hateful thoughts at that time. Anger, hurt and love mix together becomes the most dangerous emotion at that time.
But it's okay I know somehow I am gaining benefit from it. It's like building myself ,I am still at a rough age where life seems to attack me at every point and please me out of no where as well . The main point is to remember the pleasing parts of it and gain something from the hurtful part.
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