Five years after W3N.D1 was discovered, I waited for it to take me.
I knew I had five days. The news had droned that religiously into my mind since day one.
But, what if this meat was clean? What if I was just hording a rotting pan under my bed for no reason?
Would I have to face my parents with the shame of wanting to leave them behind? See the disappointment every time our eyes met?
That night, after listening to fears of the bombs washing closer to our own shores, I met my mum and dad downstairs.
Usually, I called out a greeting when they walked through the door. I'd be too absorbed in my phone or console to give them a few seconds of my time. Tonight, the weight of the world was weighing on me. I wanted to see their faces.
Mum was first. Her face lit up in surprise when she saw me sitting on the couch. I had the TV on, trying not to look desperate. The volume was almost muted. I couldn't bear to hear the pain of the agony thrown in my face.
The news blared across all channels. Another town was reduced to rubble when she walked in.
Plastic bags in each hand, she made her route to the freezer first. After unloading her groceries, she turned with a dvd in her hand.
"Do they still sell those?" I scoffed and leant forward to receive it "Winnie the Pooh?"
"You loved it as a child" she gushed "the adventures they'd all go on together.."
"Mum..." I groaned back, looking around her to see the screaming of a mother realizing her child had been hit by the bombs and was shielded under blankets "...it sounds great."
"I got Joy Boxes too" she turned for the other bag still left on the kitchen bench behind her "they don't do real nuggets anymore, with everything that's happening, but they still have the little toy in them."
"No way" I chuckled back when she held up proof of her purchase "they're still open?"
Mum gave a little grin and put mine back with the others.
"Practically throwing them away" she gushed "Dad shouldn't be much longer, then we can eat them together."
Looking down at the childish cover of the dvd I tapped in my hand, I smiled at her oblivious face.
"Sounds great, Mum."
She smiled too, turning from me to display the meals and drinks along the bench with flourish.
Dad arrived half an hour later with his hands also loaded with plastic bags.
Seeing Mum had beaten him to dinner, he laughed as he revealed he had the same idea with the meals.
"We'll be eating good tonight!" he laughed before kissing Mum "I missed you, Darling."
"And I missed you more, Bugaboo" she muttered back, kissing him again.
"Guys, I am still here" I groaned out to their smacking lips, smirking when they turned "are we watching the fat yellow bear find a new stick or not?"
Dad's face lit up when he saw the cover. He came over to pluck it from my hand and marvel over it.
"Oh!" He gasped, showing Mum who only smiled knowingly to me "I thought we'd never see him again!"
"Tonight seemed like a night for something lighter" she commented, bringing over the colourful meals so Dad could sink into the couch on my right.
Mum swapped the dvd for a meal. Sliding it into the dvd player nestled below the TV, she changed the channel with a disgruntled noise.
"To think that the world has come to this" her nose wrinkled when she sank in at my left, realizing the mood was souring "they need to watch more of this."
"Winnie?" I snorted "somehow, I don't think the leaders are going to sit down for a round of cartoons."
"Might do them some good" Mum nodded once and left it at that when the menu lit up.
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I didn't even remember going to sleep when I woke up on the couch, covered in a blanket from the spare cupboard.
It has that familiar smell to it that it hadn't been used in a while. It was musty, yet comforting, as it laid over me.
Mum and Dad were nowhere to be seen. Our empty boxes and drinks were still on the ground from the night before. The cheap plastic toys were strewn around them.
The TV was turned off and the dvd rested on the counter. I saw a piece of paper stuck to the top of it.
Maybe they got called into work? Or volunteered to go in, seeing how quickly we were collapsing?
My back ached from sleeping on the couch all night. Pulling up from the springs digging into my sides, I started to stack the empty boxes to clean up.
Unrolling out a garbage bag from under the sink, I almost had my nose pressing on the paper I lifted up to read.
It was rushed. The marker was still beside the paper, bleeding onto the table from the cap not being snapped back on all the way.
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Went out for a bit.
Stay home.
Don't watch the news.
Love you.
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Flipping it over, there was nothing more.
With a shrug, I added the note to the garbage bag I then hauled upstairs.
Now that I had time, I could throw out the shameful pan still hidden under my bed.
Scraping it out and dropping it into the bag promptly, I eyed my little TV.
The note did say not to watch it, but what for?
Was everything really that bad out there?
No. It was so I didn't see some other poor soul blown up and filmed for the news. Mum made it clear she didn't like that sort of stuff being shown to me last night.
Heading back downstairs, I added the rest of the mess to the garbage bag, double knotted it, then heaved up the other bags in the bin outside the door so I could bury it beneath them.
Out of sight, out of mind.
It was like none of it ever happened.
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Afternoon rolled around with no sign from Mum or Dad.
They hadn't been returning my texts or picking up my calls. My friends weren't either.
Retiring to my room to air it out, I planted in front of my TV again to play games.
The same war games felt a little too close to home now. Just a few days ago, the neon blood splatters and dated timeline were exhilarating and fun. Now, zombies only reminded me of what laid outside our town.
Only a few other players dropped in to keep me from getting bored. We raced the same maps while my mind wondered over the kills I was collecting.
Would it hurt to become one of them? Would I end up like one of these zombies?
Flashing to a loading screen, I looked over to the burnt wick of the candle sitting beside the TV. I decided to light it again to make sure the greasy smell of the cooked chicken was gone for good.
Picking up the controller again as cheap vanilla swirled into the air, I stood there for a moment. Eyeing the TV remote, the temptation of just flicking the channels was mounting.
But, the note told me not to. Mum and Dad knew what was best. It was probably more of the same bombings and war cries anyway. I didn't want those lingering on my mind while I was home alone again.
Turning my phone over to face the bed, I sank back down onto it to continue my bloody campaign.
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The candle still flickered brightly when night set in. The illumination of the TV burned at my eyes when I peeled them from yet another loading screen to finally tend to myself.
Back still aching from hunching over the bed and eyes now burning from straining them through the day, I shuffled down to the kitchen to raid the cupboards for an easy meal.
I knew cup noodles were in there. Mum had also added in frozen vegetables last night. I think Dad got an Asian banquet of the fried vegetable parcels.
Digging out the frozen banquet from the freezer, I flicked on the power for the air fryer nestled beside the fridge. Pulling out the tray, I dumped majority of the frozen food onto it before realizing my mistake and heading to the cupboard to rip off a length of baking paper to place them on, almost grazing my finger on the serrated edge in the process.
As the fryer was set, my eyes lingered to the back of the tv. Sliding to the dvd, I remembered the note now in the garbage.
Maybe I should try them again? Maybe this time one of them would pick up?
Maybe I was just being paranoid. They usually worked late.
But they usually didn't leave so early either....
Sinking into the couch, I grabbed the remote and turned the TV on. Wringing the remote in my hands, it was more of the same gloom thrown up on every channel of desperate reporters killed around smoking wreckages.
Still flicking, I settled on one as I went back to my room instead, using it to fill in some noise in the background so it didn't feel so lonely.
The candle was still flicking against the glass that glowed bright. My phone was still face down on the edge of the bed that I snatched up to drag up the messenger.
There were no missed calls or texts from either of them. Quickly stabbing my mum's smiling contact, I prayed silently through the dial tone.
"Hello?"
Oh, thank God! I could feel my heart hammering as I breathed a sigh of relief at the sound of her voice.
"Mum, where are you and Dad?"
I could hear a babble of a radio behind her. Dad was muttering something.
"In the car. We're just getting some things ready, Sweety."
Ready? For what?
"Where are we going?" I frowned now, my voice wavering.
Where did we have to go? We had distant family, but they were exactly that. Mum and Dad never mentioned them unless it was closer to Christmas or we had to travel for a funeral...
"Did someone die?" I cringed now, realizing how under-prepared I was for that at a time like this.
"Honey, no" Mum almost chuckled before it died down "we're going to stay at Aunty Bethyl's place for a bit. You know Aunty Bethyl...."
"No...."
"Oh, you'll love her" Mum's voice sounded nervous now "she's met you when you were just a baby. She's got three dogs you can play with and a great big house in the country. Honey, why don't you get your things ready? We'll go as soon as we are home, ok?"
"And don't let anyone in!" I heard Dad call through the phone. He was distracted by something on the road.
"Hear that?" Mum's voice choked "just get your things ready. We'll be there in half an hour, ok?"
"What's going on?" I almost whimpered now "why are we going somewhere else?"
"It'll.... be an adventure" Mum choked and sniffled down the phone "please, just get ready and don't watch the news, ok?"
"W-why?"
Tears swam in my vision to blind it. They burned in my already strained eyes, running like hot oil down my cheeks.
Could she hear the drone of the tv downstairs? Know that I was already on my way to do just that?
"There's all sorts of nasty things on there" she babbled before Dad started speaking over her "I've got to go. Love you! Bye!"
"Hang on!" I cried back but was only met with a blank screen displaying the short length of our call.
Pocketing my phone, all I could do was stare at the candle in shock, wiping my eyes.
What had her so scared? I'd never heard Mum sound like that before. Not even the spiders she squealed for Dad to move out of the house made her choke on her words like there was no other hope.
Rattling in a deep breath, I moved to my cupboard to pull down a printed duffle bag.
It was the only thing I had to carry anything in. The last time I used it, I was heading to my friends' house with a few cans snuck in underneath my clothes. That was months ago.
Dialing again, I cradled the phone in my shoulder as I tore clothes off their hangers to stuff into the bag at my feet.
When the usual chipper voicemail came through, I decided to punch in a text instead while still trying to shove my life into the corners of my bag.
A few texts later, I was sliding my console and controllers into the protective layer of clothing I made for it. Blowing out the candle, I left the rest of the room behind so I could empty out the bathroom.
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With the bulging bag at my feet and the cooked banquet nestled in a bowl in my lap, I grabbed the dvd to slide inside on the top.
The whole thing was so childish, but it was a nice escape from all the terror now facing me. Reliving simpler, happier times was better than trying to live through this darkness.
Sitting there, I watched the news.
The Supreme Leader was flexing his power over the other countries. With one of their allies, the Soviet, dead, their sights were on land that could be stolen as theirs.
Taking the Soviet while it was scrambling for a new leader was an obvious move, but even the Supreme had morals over stealing allied land and turning those who supported him against him. In trying to stay out of the conflict flying over them, the Grand Leader was thrown into the war when the Supreme bombed it with chemicals; a move that shocked everyone since they were considered friendly to each other from being allies in old wars.
Using chemicals, the Supreme flexed his superiority over everyone else. They had the biggest chemical warfare stockpile that any country had seen. Others turned blind eyes to not be targeted. More stayed silent out of fear.
But those who supported the Grand Leader bit back. In retaliation at the broken treaty and abuse of power, the Spice Leader lended aid to their betrayed friend. Although the air between them was rocky, this act solidified their unity and ensured more resources would be poured between them if needed.
Worried that their friendship would also be blown apart, the Cultural Leader sided with their wronged friend and lended what aid they could, putting their historical country in the spotlight for irreversible consequences, much to the outcry of others.
If it too was thrown into turmoil, ancient locations and historical birthplaces would be nothing more but a page in a textbook.
With the now dead Soviet Leader having supplied both the Cultural and Spice with copious amounts of arms and power over the years, both countries were backed by old ties and even older treaties to keep them protected.
Not to be outshone, the Patriotic Leader barged in; to the surprise of no-one.
Being the second biggest influencer to the Supreme, they fought for limelight often in dick-measuring contests over who had the biggest nukes and mouths.
Tied to both the Supreme for a hush treaty not to be targeted in events like this to keep up valuable trades, and to the Grand in pumping them with aid in old wars; the Patriotic Leader sided with the much smaller Grand Leader's country, mainly for the empathy of supporting the 'little guy.'
Then, that's where we came in.
Buddies since old wars, our Southern Land Leader stepped up out of obligation rather than free-will and extended its arm to the Patriotic.
Keeping up trades was most important to stop collapse. With the Supreme being our largest, we couldn't afford to lose what we had with the Patriotic. War ties ran far deeper than who gave us the most.
We gave them support and arms, and in turn, we were planted with a target on our backs.
It came to us. The war was right on our doorstep; it said so right there on the screen I stared at through burning eyes.
Now, the only thing we could do was try and run for wherever we thought was safest. The desert outback, the drifting islands offshore, the quiet countryside where Aunty Bethyl lived.....
Fuck.
In the matter of moments, we were screaming for help from countries trying to stay afloat themselves. Surrounded by water and nestled away from the others, we should have been safe from all of this.
But, all it took was for one person to doom us all. None of us got a say in this. We just had to deal with it while those who could afford to fly somewhere safer did.
All I had left was half an hour until we'd be running for our lives.
Then, it'd be three days before I forgot about it all.
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