「話晒我都係坐你隔離㗎,呢幾日見你成日都喺度唉聲嘆氣,你唔係以為我睇唔出呀?」芯玲壓低聲線,顯然唔想俾前面兩個妹妹注意到佢講緊啲咩。
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「咩啊,我係...擔心曉琳呢排太攰所以先係咁。」我嘗試掩飾。
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「你係至好講啊,我話你知吖,我咪同曉琳同埋子瑜一齊上VA堂嘅,你估我見到啲咩?」
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「見到咩?」我幾乎衝口而出,頭先芯玲最尾仲故意提高八度挑起我嘅好奇心,但其實佢唔使咁做我本身都好想知道。
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「咁你係想知曉琳嘅嘢,定係子瑜嘅嘢先?嘻~」芯玲興奮到撞咗我一下手臂。
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面對呢條問題,我居然無言以對,我承認心裡面係想知道子瑜嘅事多過曉琳嘅事,但我知我咁答一定出事,而依家唔答都同樣都出事。
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「算啦算啦見你個樣咁愁唔玩你喇,嗱我真係當你係朋友先同你講㗎咋。原本呢,曉琳同子瑜兩個不嬲都係一齊坐,但你同曉琳一齊咗之後,子瑜就主動同老師要求調位,而且一調就調到去最角落個位置,變到孤伶伶一個人自閉唔出聲。」
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「有次上堂,我哋畫完畫之後去洗手盤度洗顏料盤,子瑜撞到曉琳個顏料盤,整污糟咗曉琳條裙,我眼見就應該只係意外唔小心,但係子瑜就猛咁同曉琳say sorry講對唔住。其實曉琳都無怪佢,但子瑜個樣就好內疚好自責,個場面都睇到我都啲心罨。」
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芯玲嘅每一字一句我都好留心咁聽住,我諗返起的確有日同曉琳放學嘅時候見佢條裙五顏六色污糟晒,但曉琳當時只係話係自己笨手笨腳整到。
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「唉...」我不由自主嘆一口氣。
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「呢...子瑜就係成日好似你咁偷偷地嘆氣,哈哈你兩個真係好似,簡直係天生一對。」
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雖然俾芯玲一下子睇穿咗我嘅心事,但由始至終佢嘅語氣似係關心我多過取笑我,所以我都無再反駁。
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「其實我都知你同子瑜本身好friend,我都唔忍心見到子瑜咁樣沉淪落去,我諗你都係㗎?」芯玲續道。
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「但係我...都唔知自己可以做啲咩...」
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「你哋啲男人真係吖,可唔可以唔好咁唔負責啊,搞到個女仔對你沉晒船先嚟話唔知可以做啲咩。」芯玲仲要越講越激動,我擔心會俾前面兩位妹妹聽到。
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忽然間我感覺到有股愧疚感同虛榮心同時交織出現,前者都唔使多講,係基於我令到子瑜要經歷呢啲唔開心嘅事情,而後者反而係第一次出現,我嘗試去理解點解會有呢種虛榮心,最後發現竟然係嚟源自於因為我同時間得到兩個女仔嘅鍾愛。
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「我係咪好衰...?我仲記得你講過,你最憎啲花心大蘿蔔,我依家就係呢種人...」一時意亂之下,我仲唔覺意間接承認咗我同時間鍾意咗呢兩個女仔。
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「咁我覺得你又唔未至於係嗰種衰人嘅...」芯玲神情有啲若有所思咁。
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「點解咁講?」
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「我唔知啊,可能係女人嘅直覺啩...」原本我期待芯玲會解釋一下個原因,所以當聽到佢咁講之後我反而有啲失落。
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但當我又諗到有啲嘢想問之際,芯玲已經幾下小跳步走上去會合返前面兩個妹妹,仲八卦緊佢哋傾到邊度,我先發覺,原來頭先我同芯玲真係傾到入晒神,連步伐落後咗咁多都無為意到,唔知兩位妹妹又有無懷疑我同芯玲傾啲咩呢?
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返到課室之後,我望一望曉琳個位仲係空空如也,我靜靜地坐喺位等芯玲三姊妹去完廁所返嚟之後,就即刻捉住坐我隔離嘅芯玲問。
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「放咗學之後你得唔得閒?」
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「嘩你想約我啊?我唔係啲咁隨便嘅女仔嚟㗎喎。」芯玲仲要交叉手放喺胸前扮保護自己,我心諗你唔去做話劇真係浪費人才。
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「唔係啊有啲正經嘢想搵你傾吓。」我心裡面反覆諗緊子瑜同社長嘅事。
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「嘻~好啊,就等本小姐出馬,指點吓你呢隻愛情路上嘅迷途小羔羊。」芯玲笑道。
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今日已經係星期五,陸運會前嘅最後一次藍社幹事例行會議,曉琳放咗學肯定唔會有空閒理我,所以正好可以等我捉緊呢個機會解開我心中困惑。
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