I tried not to think about them.
But every time I closed my eyes, all I could see was their deaths.
Grandpa, would be reading a book, or a newspaper- it was something different every time. Marco would smile at me, scrubbing invisible dirt off his rifle. One moment everything would be perfect, they would be alive and happy. Then the world would turn dark and the room would move in slow motion. Marco fell first, clawing at his bleeding throat. His usually calm brown eyes begging for me to save him. Then Grandpa would collapse against the wall, a streak of red trailing behind him as he slid to the ground.
Then I would open my eyes and it would all be over. I would be alive, knowing they weren’t.
“I’m so sorry, kid,” Bullet handed me a steaming cup of sage tea-the only herb the Outskirts had a surplus of. “Doc was a good man, Mar too.”
His thick shoulders sagged with the news. My grandfather had worked with him for as long as I could remember. Both looked after any rebels who needed help. I couldn’t even count the number of close calls Grandpa had with the Fryers, how many times I had begged him to leave the Outskirts-to find the Outliers. I was sure there was plenty need for a doctor on their side. Now he was gone and there was nothing I could do.
My hands still trembled as I raised the burning liquid to my lips, relishing in the bitter flavor as it burned my mouth and throat. The piney scent was only another reminder of my grandfather, the scent of sage and dust haunted my thoughts. My head spun from the screams I kept bottled up, refusing to let them loose.
I barely mustered a shuddering whisper. “Thanks for saving us.”
“Yeah,” Bullets brown eyes held a striking resemblance to Marco’s that I had never noticed before. His worried gaze fell from me to Daisy, who sat at his workstation beneath us. She was slaving away with her walkie, trying every frequency possible but only finding static. “You should really be thanking her. From what she’s told me, you’d be…”
Dead too.
He doesn’t say the words, but I knew what he meant. The golden-haired girl had saved my life, I owed her everything. Yet all I had managed to do was inconvenience her every step of the way. I couldn’t fight, was hopeless with a gun, I couldn’t even jump off a roof without almost getting us killed. I was a coward. I honestly didn’t know why I had jumped out that window, or why she came back for me.
“What are you gonna do now kid?” Bullets deep voice dug into my soul.
My chest deflated. “I don’t know.”
“You could come back with me,” Daisy’s gaze finally left the walkie and trailed up to us. “I’ve gotta find Falcon first, then we’re going back to base. You can come with us if you want.”
If you want.
Those words rippled through my head. If I wanted. She didn’t want me to go. She was willing to tolerate me. Bullet cleared his throat, “I don’t know about him, but I’ve gotta get outta this Hell-hole.”
“Good,” Daisy nodded. “From what I can gather, you’ve more than proved your place with us.”
My heart hammered in my ears, striking against the weight of my choices. A) stay in the Outskirts and spend the rest of my life in a cage, or B) Go to the Outliers and die a slow, painful death. I couldn’t even outrun the droids. How was I supposed to fight them? I wasn’t big and strong like Marco, or as smart as my grandfather was.
“I wouldn’t be much use to anyone,” I muttered, drinking the last of my tea. “I couldn’t even save my own family.”
“On your own for all of five minutes and you’re already giving up?” Daisy smacked her lips. The anger burning in her eyes matched the resenting tune of her voice.
My glasses felt cool against my flushed skin. They were cracked and broken beyond repair-much like my future in either scenario. “Can’t I have a minute to think?” I asked.
Daisy stood, attaching the walkie to her belt. “You better make a decision before I get back, or I’ll make it for you.”
I waited for her shadow to disappear outside before my arm moves on its own. Bullet’s mug shattered into a million shards against the wall, sparkling in the sullen moonlight. I closed my eyes and the scene replayed itself again. Marcos’ scream, Grandpa’s smile.
“Before he died,” I opened my eyes to meet Bullet’s gaze. “Was my grandpa really an Outlier.”
Silence. Bullet’s eyes trailed to the ground, refusing to meet mine. His thick brows and wide nose twisted with thought and his hands balled into a fist, clenching so hard his skin turned pale. He lifted his arm and for one horrifying second, I thought he was going to punch me. But his hand gripped onto my shoulder, pulling me to my feet with little effort. “c’mon.”
My hands were still shaking wildly as I stood rooted to the spot.
Bullet’s shop was the tallest building in his quadrant, next to the wall. From there, the Outskirts were drenched in mock beauty. A maze of fog and stone blocks, the treacherous sand and white sea of uniforms patrolling were nowhere in sight. But I knew they were down there, searching for me. I wondered if Daisy was down there, her friend Falcon too. I imagined them both being caught-never to return. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hoping for it, I wouldn’t have to make a choice. Maybe everything would have gone back to normal?
Idiot, I scolded myself. You can’t bring back the dead.
Bullet clambered up the ladder, pulling himself onto the roof beside me. He paused to take in the sight and sniffed. “You smell that?”
Instantly, I knew what he meant. You couldn’t smell the metallic scent of blood that clung to the sand. It had been so long since I had breathed air free of the rancid stench, I almost forgot what it felt like. It was like once you passed the fog, it ceased to exist. My lungs stretched, happily consuming the free air.
“This was Doc’s favorite spot in the whole city,” He smiled, his fingers fiddling with something in his pocket. “I was standing right where you are when Doc first brought me here. You were just a baby, but I remember how proud he was when you started crawling at five months. One of the proudest days of his life according to him.”
I waited for him to continue, but he allowed the whirring and buzzing of the Outskirts ring out in our silence. As time stretched on, I realized he wasn’t there to talk. He was there to listen.
It had been so long since I had a real conversation-with anyone. Grampa and Marco were always busy, off saving someone or doing something, I rarely ever saw them. I opened my mouth to speak but couldn’t find the right words to say. My mind just went blank. Years of fighting to be heard had silenced my once fierce voice.
“I’m scared, Kid.”
My throat seized as he spoke again, keeping his eyes on the horizon. “Doc used to tell me what it was like out there, working within the Outliers ranks. The sleepless nights, bloody battles. In one hour-you could lose a squad of twenty. It’s why I respected the old man. Still do.”
“Then why are you going if you’re scared?” I asked.
“Being scared is part of life,” He shook his head knowingly. “You never know when you’re gonna go. If we live in fear, nothing is ever going to change. I’ve seen a lot of bad in this world, and almost no good. The Outliers-they’re good, Felix.”
“They’re real good,” a ghost of a smile graces his lips. “Plus, I kinda like the idea, being a hero an’ all. If we all gotta die one day, I’d rather go out a Hero than a nobody.”
I bit my tongue, meditating on his words. I could almost imagine my grandpa saying them, feeding them to me through him. Whether I liked it or not, Bullet was all I had left, and it would have been nice to be a part of something bigger. Be a part of history. Though my anger towards Daisy fades, it only fuels my hatred towards the Matriarch.
“Okay,” I decided. “We catch Falcon first and I’ll join the-”
Click.
The feeling of a blaster pressing against my neck pierced my body with ice. Bullet whirled around, ready to storm the enemy, but stopped short when he spoke. The voice was young, but confident. No doubt an experienced fighter. His voice carried no hesitation-he would kill me without a second thought. “Tell me where Falcon is, or I ghost him.”
“Who the Hell are you?” Bullet growled.
The cold silver of the blaster dug into my skin. “Where’s Falcon?”
I couldn’t put a face to the voice, but I pictured a tall guy, maybe Bullet’s size-or bigger! His hand didn’t shake the blaster or anything, his aim was dead steady. “Why should we tell you?”
“Don’t fuck with me, Fryer,” In a flash, he twirled me around, backing me against the ledge. “I’ve had a long day.”
The first thing to catch my attention was his eyes. They were angular and hooded, stormy gray eyes glared at me. Between his black hair and yellow tinted skin, it suddenly made sense why he clipped his t’s and rolled his a’s and r’s. Questions filled my mind, but then I see the blaster in his hand. I know I shouldn’t stare and answer him, but I had always hoped to meet an Asian one day. They never left the middle quarter to mingle with us in the Outskirts, but many talked about their appearances. His white clothes glowed luminous in the moonlight, swaying with the wind.
“Why’d you called us Fryers?” I could feel the drop behind me as I teetered on the ledge. my spine tingled and knees threatened to give out. I knew to him I looked pretty pathetic, a trembling boy with broken glasses.
His face pinched with hatred. The boy’s glare was so menacing my gut twisted in on itself, completely ignoring my question. His arm twisted as he switched gun-hand, briefly showing the Bow and Arrow tattooed on his shoulder. An Outlier. “Where is she?”
Bullet’s eyes met mine. I didn’t need him to speak to know what he was thinking. This boy was an Outlier, no doubt about it. But could he be trusted? Something shifts in the shadows near the ladder. I glimpse a flash of golden hair, and the reflective glint of a blaster poking around the ledge. My heart dropped. Daisy.
My lungs deflated, letting my heart thump wildly against my ribcage like a child’s ball. It happened in the blink of an eye; blue light, a scream. And once again, I was standing in that house, watching Grampa and Marco die. But when I opened my eyes, I realized the scream was mine.
My skin stung as I collided with the concrete, the boy toppling on top of me. Everything blurs together in a swirl of gray and black. Blood splattered beside me, pooling around the boy and I. A giant figure-I recognized as Bullet, wrestles the mysterious boy to the ground. I try to reach for them, but my arm won’t move. The horrifying thought finally occurred to me-was I dead? I couldn’t feel any pain-was I dying?
How?
Why?
What happened?
Though my vision was fading fast, I could make out the blurry white blobs that charged the roof in overwhelming numbers. That was it, I convinced myself I was going to die. I couldn’t fight the darkness anymore and let it consume me, slipping into sweet relief.
ns 15.158.61.48da2
