Night-time is my most favorite time because it’s quiet and calm. It isn’t peaceful because i’m alone with my thoughts. Night-time is the best time to be depressed. I like to go outside in the pitch black darkness, sit in the grass and stare up at the sky and wonder why I am what I am. And I try and figure out the secret to life and how to not suffer anymore, or at least suffer less, but the moon or the stars or even the dark forest around me never provides any answers.
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The street light shines and I look down and notice the scars on my arm. And I just stare and stare and stare myself into a deeper depression. I think of all the people I’ve loved and those who said they loved me, and lay back in the grass, wishing I wasn’t alive. And I remember my whole life and every reason I’m sad and I dwell over it, purposely making it worse. Because it isn’t possible to get better, I am comfortable this way.
