The roar of chants filled my ears as they echoed through the football stadium. Everything felt and sounded as though I was underwater. My head was empty and void of thought and feeling, nothing other than complete and utter silence filled it. I wasn’t even fully aware I was there until Riley tapped me on the shoulder, she was yelling something over the crowd but I couldn’t tell what, so I just nodded my head before staring back off into the field.
I don’t think Riley noticed what was wrong, how could she when I didn't say anything? She wouldn’t listen, maybe she wouldn’t hear, maybe she would pretend not to hear to talk to Scott more. I hated him, I didn't trust him, at all whatsoever. Riley had never dated anyone before and when she told me she was dating him it was a complete surprise. She had never even mentioned liking anybody in the school before then. Scott had also been notoriously known as a serial dater which was one of my main concerns.
I knew from experience that your first love, true love, hits harder than anything else in the world. Losing them feels like losing the world, feeling like nobody will ever love you again because when it’s your first love you don’t know that anything else could be possible and never have. Now, even with my heart broken, and torn, I still use whatever I have left of it to love her, because she is the only thing I have, maybe ever will. Who knows? So why risk it? That’s what I keep telling myself at least.
I felt the slight need to pee so I quickly excused myself from my seat, walked off the bleachers, and quietly prayed that the rumors about Scott were simply rumors and that he was a fine man, and knew how to treat a woman like the beautiful angel she is. I became consumed by my thoughts while walking through the large dark ach that connected the football field to the school. I pushed open the door and walked along the quiet hallway. The roars from the stadium were still painfully loud, but as the door sealed, it became peacefully quiet. Only the hush and the echo of my footsteps remained.
I sat in the stall for a while scrolling on my phone before finally getting up and washing my hands. I took my time as the thing I feared most was going back to the bleachers and having to watch Riley and Scott make out for who knows how long. I dried my hands with a paper towel before walking out of the bathroom.
“My, my, what do we have here? Where's your girlfriend? She jump ship” Elliot exclaimed from behind me.
I groaned and turned towards him,” what do you want?” He smirked, I instantly turned back around and started walking away from him,” I’m not in the mood.” Elliot laughed, he picked up his pace so that way he was walking beside me.
“What brings you here?”
“It’s a football game, the first one of the year, why wouldn’t I be?”
“Well, you certainly don’t look jazzed to be here, someone caught your eye?” He asked with a smirk, he glanced over at me and one of his eyebrows quirked up. When I ignored him and continued walking, even faster, he sighed," Sorry, sensitive topic? It must be hard when a stranger steals your girl.” I spun around on my heels and looked him in the eye.
“What is your deal?” I asked if I was already overwhelmed by the football game, and now the endless interrogation, I don’t think so.
“You didn’t answer my question,” Elliot said, his shoulders were slugged back and his pale bones arms rested into the pockets of his sweatpants.
“Well you didn’t answer mine,” I defended.
His eyebrows raised it was only then I noticed a piercing on his eyebrow. I didn’t know if it was a new development or if he wasn’t allowed to wear facial jewelry in school, either way, I was in no mood to ask.
“Riley, she dragged me along with Scott;” I reluctantly explained.
He grinned,” Riley huh? So that’s the lucky lady.”
“Lucky? To be with Scott? Have you ever talked to that man before? He is a whole ick.”
Elliot chuckled,” I meant she was lucky to have you.”
“She’s not my girlfriend!” I yelled as I stormed off.
“Y'know you keep telling me that but I’m having a hard time believing it.” He countered.
“I’m not gay!” I turned around and yelled. My hands were shaking out of frustration.
His eyebrows turned up and he wore a smug grin,” never said you were.” I groaned out of frustration and walked away. “Wait- Cass! Cassandra, wait up!” Elliot shouted from behind me, eventually he gave up on trying to talk to me, once I left the building and headed back to the bleachers. I walked back up to my seat, Riley and Scott were getting up from their seats holding each other’s hands. I thanked god that Riley was still alive and that I could finally go home with her.
“Are we heading out?” I asked Riley, she looked over at Scott and then back at me.
“Um, I’ll be fine Cass, you can head home, Scotts going to take me home.” She looked up at Scott smiling and rubbed his back while hanging onto his arm. To say I was going to barf was an understatement.
My eyebrows furrowed in confusion and worry,” are you sure?”
“Yeah- yeah, go ahead I’ll be okay I promise,” Riley tried to assure me.
Well, so much for being excited to head home with her. I glared at Scott, his face said it all. Even though every single bone in my body urged me to punch the prideful, lusted look on Scott’s face off. I knew that Riley had a life too, and she probably did love him, and if that was what she wanted, it was her choice. So, I nodded, walked away, and forced myself to go back into the parking lot. I opened my car door and put my keys into the ignition. It started up with a roar before going silent, so I tried again, and the same thing happened.
My car would not start. I groaned and slammed my head against the steering wheel. I punched it some more before leaning back in my seat and taking a deep breath. I muttered under my breath that it was okay and I just needed to look under the hood. That it was most likely a simple problem. I got out of the car and opened up my hood, of course, I didn’t understand a single thing about my car's intestines. So, I did the only logical thing and looked it up. I figured out that I also had no clue what any of the information I found meant, and didn’t want to mess up my car even worse, so I closed the hood of my car and sighed. I rested my elbows on it and held my head in my hands contemplating what I should do.
“Having car trouble?” Elliot voiced from behind me. I sighed, running my hands through my hair in frustration. ‘Anybody but him please anybody at all but him,’ I thought. “Hey, are you okay?” He asked, his voice was getting louder as I heard him walking closer.
I turned around to face him, my hands resting on the hood,” does it look like it?” I had not one ounce of my social battery left.
He simply chuckled,” come on I’ll give you a ride. I promise I'm not a serial killer.”
My eyebrows lifted up in shock,” and who thought it was a good idea to let you drive?”
He rolled his eyes," you want a ride or not?” That shut me up, I grabbed my phone, grabbed my keys and locked my car. I knew the tow fine was not going to be pretty. I swear I could see a smile form on his face as I submitted ComeI’l, to win his offer. I didn’t know why he was so determined to be friends with me, maybe he was a serial killer? I was too tired to care, all I wanted was to go home and sleep away the thought that Riley was probably losing her virginity at this very moment to a guy that could care less if she was in love.
Elliot’s car was surprisingly beautiful, it was a 1996 Corvette and looked to be in pretty good condition. His car wasn’t even messy, its leather seats weren’t stained, and his dash didn’t even look to have dust on it. “Is this car new?” He looked over at me, I saw his eyes widen suddenly as if he was surprised at my question.
He shrugged,” all I know is that it’s my mom’s.” That made a lot of sense, no teenager owned a car this clean, it probably also explained why it stunk of weed, or maybe that was just an Elliot thing. He kept glancing over at me like if he didn’t pay enough attention to me I would explode like a bomb.
“You good?” I don’t like it when people hide things from me. I'd rather someone be brutally honest than lie. He only nodded in response,” Why were you at the football game?”
“I should be asking you the same question: what happened to your girlfriend?”
I rolled my eyes,” can you please stop calling her that? She has a name you know, it’s Riley. Now, why were you at the football game, I already told you why I was there.”
He sighed,” I wasn’t at the football game.”
“Then why were you inside the school?”
“It was a…club.”
“A club? What kind of club?” I wasn’t aiming to be interrogative I was genuinely curious.
He swallowed,” Okay so maybe it wasn’t a club. I was in the library, I stayed there after school sometimes…”
“Why? Do you do homework or…?”
“I just sit around and read most of the time.”
My eyes widened,” you do?”
He glanced over at me and grinned,” why? You think a guy like me is too much of a bad boy to read?”
I scoffed,” of course not.” I did though it was hard not when all he wore was a band t-shirt with names on them I couldn’t even read properly, and was barely ever at school. “What’s your favorite book?”
He didn’t even hesitate,” Pride and Prejudice without a doubt. Mr. Darcy is the love of my life.”
I giggled,” the love of your life? What about Elizabeth? I think she’s amazing. Her character is so well built.”
“ You’ve read Pride and Prejudice?” he announced every word, he was so shocked.
“Just because I’m a teenage girl doesn’t mean I only read YA Dystopian novels,” I countered.
“I’m just surprised you read, you just don’t seem like the person too. What street are you on Charles, or Hampton?” He asked as he slowed the car to a stop at the light.
“Charles,” I responded. 176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJIGgpsuJOy
I hadn’t realized how quickly time had passed. I then realized that I would miss his company once I got out of the car. Did I like him? I then almost gagged at the idea, nothing against him. Elliot definitely was more than attractive, but So female gaze of mine was drifting somewhere else. Besides after the comment about Mr.Darcy, it ignited my hope that he didn’t actually like me, that it was just a joke, because in all honesty Elliot was nice and sweet, and even when he was messing with me, he never made me feel weird, or insecure. I realized how much I missed this type of friendship, the kind that didn’t come with an overwhelming, suffocating, love behind it.
Before I knew it I was showing him what house I lived in and I was getting out of the car. I was about to close the door before I started speaking,” Hey, I’m sorry about being early, I was just really stressed out by… everything if you know what I mean?”
He nodded,” No, no, trust me I get it,” his eyes stayed on me a moment later before waving me bye and driving off. When I walked into the house my mother was making stuffing, she turned around and smiled at seeing me.
“ Oh hi, what are you doing home so early? Don’t you want to hang out with Riley?” I shook my head no,” what’s wrong? Did something happen, should I call her mom?”
“Mom, it’s fine, she just had plans after the game,” I explained, I was guessing my face told her what I didn’t because she simply nodded and changed the topic.
“Well-” she paused as she looked out into the driveway,” where the hell is your car!?”
“It’s at school it wouldn’t start up, so I left it alone.”
“And did you think of using the Triple-A card we gave you?” I realized just that I had left my wallet in Elliot's car but, right now was definitely not the time to tell my mom.
“Sorry, I didn’t think it at the time…” I trailed off and quickly ran upstairs to my room before she could ask any more questions. I exhaled a deep breath before falling back into my bed. I looked out my window seeing none other than Riley coming out of a car. My heart dropped to my stomach at the sight of her, it had been over a month since Scott and her had started dating but the feeling of unbearable and inescapable dread never managed to leave my stomach when I saw her with him.
I forced myself to look away, turned over, and a single tear fell from my face. No matter how many times I witnessed it, I never got used to the feeling of knowing she didn’t love me. She did though, she loved me and cared for me, but not like I feel for her. I muffled my sobs into my pillow as I fell asleep.
ns 15.158.61.23da2
