Her name was Milly Clarke. She had aggressive knots of brown hair held together by a single black tie. Her eyes were the color of clay. She hated her intimidating face. She would scare off most of the other kids she encountered, which was not good for being a fourteen-year-old girl. When we are born, we are uncarved granite blocks. As we grow up, people come by with a chisel and begin to chip away at us. Some are fortunate and are carved into beautiful statues; others aren't as lucky. Milly Clarke was carved into a grotesque, freakish beast. You would do well to avoid her. She got into regular fights and lived in detention.
Zahra was a confident girl with a bob and sharp eyes. She stood by her locker with her crew, laughing. Milly heard them talking about her. It was because she had signed up for the audition for the school play. "Tarzan is going to try for the lead. She probably sounds like a monkey. Shhh… Look, she is coming over here… She is so weird."
"Shut up, Zahra," Milly said. Her face was bright red and about to burst.
"Eww… You smell…" Zahra said. Her crew jeered.
"Shut up!" Milly said. The corridor was silent, and everyone watched.
Zahra picked up her deodorant and sprayed it in Milly's face. Milly roared and ran at Zahra but missed, hitting the locker instead.
"Aggro…" Zahra sneered.
The teacher on duty saw the whole thing. Caught. This was the story of Milly's life. She was baited yet again into trouble. Luckily, this was the school counselor, Mrs. Carruthers. She had short, curly red hair, and her front teeth made her look like a rabbit. She pulled Milly into her office.
"Milly, what happened?" she said.
"Nothing," she said.
"I can't help you if you don't tell me the story."
Milly paused for a second. She was so flustered that she could not catch herself.
"They said I would sound like a monkey at the audition."
"Who?"
Milly was silent for a moment. She did not want to say—it would just make it worse.
"Everyone…"
The bell rang, and Milly turned to go to class.
"Wait, Milly. It was not right what they said—but you cannot get physical… you have to come tell me or another teacher; otherwise, fighting will get you suspended. You understand, Milly?"
Milly nodded, but she was barely listening. It was just another adult talking down to her.
"But you can get your justice tomorrow at the audition. You can show everyone that Milly Clarke is a star in the making."
Milly did not say another word. She felt like everyone was fake. Justice? There was no justice in this world.
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***
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Milly Clarke cried herself to sleep that night and wanted to skip the audition altogether, but her mom did not believe her sick story, and she had to go in. The seconds ticked by—class after class—lunchtime would be the auditions.
She found herself in the theater hall and was feeling sick to her stomach. She had arrived late, and Zahra and her goons had already finished. Most of the kids had auditioned. She loitered around the door before a teacher guided her backstage, where she could wait for her turn.
"Sing like you are standing atop a mountain. You are in command," a boy said. Milly turned and saw Fred Finnegan. He was in the year above and worked as a stagehand. He was a head taller than Milly, and he had dark brown hair in a neat short cut. He wore a cool retro jacket that he probably nicked from his dad.
"What?" Milly said.
"Mountain," Fred smiled, making a triangle with his arms, "Picturing yourself as invincible makes you invincible and beats out all the audition jitters."
"Like a Queen," Milly blurted out. That was a dumb thing to say.
Fred laughed—it was the sweetest thing, like eating caramel corn at a fair.
"Exactly," Fred smiled, "Oh… You better go, Mountain Queen," he said, pointing to the stage—she was next.
She walked onto the stage, and each step felt unsteady, like the floor was going to give way.
Mr. Zimmerman sat in the middle of the row—he looked like a pigeon—and around him were two dozen other students eating their sandwiches.
"What is your name, child?" He said in his thick German accent.
"Milly…"
"Well, Smilly, you are our last audition," he said, and the students began to snicker. He called her Smilly!
He continued, "You are our lucky last, as I like to say. Whenever you are ready."
Milly noticed Zahra in the back, laughing at her. She would be calling her a monkey. She was a talentless, terrible singer that would make your ears bleed. Milly could not do this. Everyone was watching her. Everyone hates her.
She opened her mouth, but only air came out. Nothing.
"Whenever you are ready," Mr. Zimmerman said. Nothing.
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***
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Milly often sat in free period alone, reading a book and keeping to her business. Today she dug her face into the pages to hide from everyone staring at her. News had spread that Milly had choked at the audition, and she was even more lame than before.
Zahra got up to write something on the board. The teacher had gone out briefly, and the class was wild.
"Congratulations, Milly! You did so well!"
The class watched and giggled. The teacher came back and asked who wrote it on the board.
"I did," Zahra said, "I was praising Milly for doing so well at the audition—she is probably going to get the lead.”
The teacher smiled, "That is very thoughtful."
Milly felt like this was too much. She got up from her desk and stormed off—slamming the door behind her.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFmPziY2lm
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***
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Milly wanted to go home, but she left her bag in class. She couldn’t go back. She found herself wandering the halls until she noticed the door to the theater left ajar. The room was dimly lit but empty. If only she had sung. She did not know if she had a good voice. Maybe she was shit. Maybe she was deluding herself all along.
"Mountain Queen?" A voice came from the corner.
It was Fred Finnegan. Milly did not say anything.
"Sorry I scared you," he said, "No, don't leave…"
Milly paused for a moment. She just wanted to be alone. Fred saw everything. He probably thought she was a loser.
"Come over here," he said, "These are the lighting controls—I can create spotlights and color the stage. Pretty cool, huh?"
He was so nice. Milly was so nervous that she couldn’t say anything. She was definitely going to say something dumb.
"Yeah, it's nice," she mumbled.
Fred looked at the time, "Class is going to start soon—I'll see you around, Queen."
Queen. She was alone again, but now she felt a little better.
The stage looked less scary.
She walked up onto it and looked out over the empty seats. She imagined she was on a mountain. There was an endless blue horizon and the wind flowed through her hair.
The stage was set, this was it, she had to decide.
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She began to sing. She was flying. Her voice reverberated throughout the hall, and it was like she was in an opera. She had never sung in a theater before, and at the moment, she knew this was it. This was real. And with one final note, she fell on her back with a great big smile on her face.
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"I was wrong about you," a voice came from the audience. Milly looked down and saw Zahra.
"It sucks that you are actually good," she said. The bell rang, and she walked away.
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