Thursday, June 10th | Northridge
It’s hot. Like unbearably hot. I hate summer so much, especially here in Los Angeles. Sure, it’s not like I’m living in the deserts of Nevada or Egypt, but Jesus do I hate this heat! Global warming is a bitch and Mother Nature is not having it.
I pick up my phone to check the weather. Clear skies and a whopping 102 degrees, but it feels like over 1000 degrees. My air conditioner is working overtime trying to cool down my room. I really shouldn’t be using it since I barely make enough to pay the rent and the last electric bill was already hitting double digits. I get a text from my best friend, Juliana.
Jace, I’m hungry! She writes.
Same but it’s so hot to go out rn. I’m practically melting even though I have the AC running on full blast, I text back with a grin. I scroll through Instagram while I wait for her to text back. Photos of friends on a beach, a birthday celebration post, and about a thousand selfies – sometimes I wonder why I still follow some of these people. I don’t even talk to half of them. A text notification popped up on my phone screen and I tap it.
I know, same here, she replies. My cat, James, jumps onto my bed and meows for pets. I respond immediately by stroking his fur which makes him purr instantly. Juliana continues: But I’m craving boba 😩
I text back: You want me to come get you and we can get boba?
She immediately responds: YES! A quick boba run and then you can tuck me in for a nap lol
I laugh as I get up from bed and walk to the bathroom. James also hops off the bed and follows me into the hallway. I write out my final text to her: LOL I’ll even give you a little kiss on the forehead to finish the day 😘 I’ll get ready rn and I’ll head out to you.
I hit send and then pull out my pants from the laundry hamper to put on.
257Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEyyQrgU58f
I’m just three seconds from stepping into my car when I hear my phone ringing. I look at the screen and a picture of my sister, May, pops up. I slide the “answer call” button.
“Hey! Give me a sec,” I say into the phone as I’m trying to put her onto the Bluetooth speaker in my car. “Can you hear me?”
“Yeah, can you?” She responds, her voice booming. I lower the volume to a more reasonable level.
“Yes, definitely,” I laugh as I put my car gear in reverse. “What’s up?”
“Nothing. I’m just calling you back.”
“Three days later!” I yell, switching the gear to drive.
“Oh my God, shut up! I’m sorry, I just got caught up with something else so I couldn’t call you back.”
“I get it. Living it up in New York so of course, she’s gonna forget about me,” I pout. May has been a fashion model for a couple of years. Her big move to New York came as a surprise, but I understand her reason to find more work. Plus New York is pretty much the fashion capital of America. I sometimes envy her and her pack-up-and-go attitude. It’s gotten her pretty far in her career so maybe I should pick up on that mentality.
“It’s not like that. My friend just needed help packing her things to move out of her apartment,” she replies. “Where are you right now?”
“I’m just on my way to pick up Juliana. We’re going to get boba.”
“Oh, fun! I miss doing that with you.”
“You know you can if you visited more often!” I playfully reply. She hasn’t flown back to California in two years, and I know she makes enough from her modeling campaigns to visit. But I also know how expensive living in New York is and flying back and forth across the country would put a strain on anyone’s wallet.
“Or you can move out here!” She replies sharply. “Anyway, what’s new with you?”
“Oh, nothing. I had an audition a couple of days ago.” I can already hear her excitement but before she says anything I quickly shut it down. “Didn’t go very well.”
“What?! What happened?”
“I forgot my line! And then I was stupid enough to ask the casting director to start over. Like that shit never happens to me and I felt so stupid.”
“You’re not stupid,” May replies sincerely. “Did she let you start over?”
“No, she ended the audition immediately. I was so embarrassed.”
“I’m sorry that happened to you.”
“I know. Me too. It’s just that…” I pause while I try to find the words at a red light. “It’s just that I’m tired of this. It’s been months – no years – since my last role and I don’t know. Maybe my luck has run out.”
“You’re being a little too dramatic. Don’t think like that,” she responds. “It’s going to get better. Just keep pushing. And like I said, you can always move here to try it out.”
“May, we’ve talked about this.”
May has been trying to convince me to move to New York to give my acting career the desperately needed jump-start. To be honest, I think she just wants me to move so she can have some family out there. And it’s not like I haven’t thought about it–I’ve thought about it a lot, but I know I just can’t do that. I have so much here. I have friends (well, maybe just Juliana), my cat James, and my apartment. Not to mention my job as a barista that helps pay for my survival and my headshots. But lately, I’ve been feeling stuck; like my world is just on repeat doing the same routine over and over again. And what if I do decide to move and it doesn’t work out? I can’t just come back and expect everything to be the same. As I said, I envy that pack-up-and-go mentality.
I’m so focused on this phone call with May that I don’t even notice that I’ve already arrived at Juliana’s house. I shoot her a quick text: Hey! I’m here.
“Just think about it, okay?” May says.
“I know. I will.” I reply, a little too solemnly.
“I only want what’s best for you, Kuya. I love you.”
“Love you, too.”
I end the call just as Juliana is getting into the car, already beet red from the heat.
“Boba?” Juliana says, exasperated.
“Boba.”
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