Though anyone could be infected by PV, mostly causing flu-like symptoms, the Powers Virus was more inclined to gift abilities to men. Even then, maybe only one in one thousand men who were infected would ever develop a power of some kind. In contrast, it was very rare that women developed powers. My guess is that women only accounted for something less than five percent of the total power enhanced population globally. This is why, even among the minority that was the enhanced, we were anomalies. Interestingly, the powers of women also greatly exceed the levels that men displayed, sometimes exponentially and with no limit. This could be very scary for some. For others, these abilities were a godsend.
This was especially true for the person who once was Jessica Jordan. So how to describe my sibling, Jess? Annoying. Often chaotic but also remarkably reliable. Jess could be loud or quiet. Well, mostly loud. They were fluid in gender and unpredictable in how they presented themselves. In short, they were a handful. They also liked me a lot. There were some very awkward and occasional off putting moments when they were showing interest. They weren’t exactly one of my favorite people in the beginning, but Jess chose to stand with us in the end so they earned the right to be family.
Jess was born biologically female. They identified as a girl until late in their teens because they didn’t know there was any other option. Growing up, they would see a girl in the mirror and sometimes felt it was correct. Other times the image of a girl did not feel right at all but there was no knowledge or experience to even describe what that feeling of difference was. As a girl, their interactions with the world were often awkward because they just didn’t know where or how to fit in, even in their own skin. Their siblings also made sure Jess knew they were an other in their family. Jess had been nicknamed “Jinx.” It wasn’t a term of endearment. They could be a little clumsy and had a tendency to accidentally break things. Which in turn set off drama. Which is how they became the family jinx. Eventually, when Jess was more comfortable with their fluid identity, they came to call themselves Jinx professionally. It was their way of taking the sting out of the name and owning every part of themselves.
The Jordan family seemed pretty well adjusted on the outside. The perfect image of a respectable family. Mom, dad, two brothers, two sisters, go to church every Sunday, some small Midwestern town, white picket fence… etc. Mom even baked cookies on occasion. Jess always thought the sugary wholesomeness was laid on thick to cover the air of decay that permeated the spirit of the household. As much as Jess didn’t feel right, you could sense something was not right with the family if you were around them long enough. Sometimes the underlying tension bled through the masking smiles. The Jordan family was one of the most upstanding in their community and church so the image of growth and prosperity needed to be upheld.
That is how Jess entered the picture. They were adopted from an orphanage in Korea. One more soul added to a family of six. Their adoption had been mom’s idea. She wanted another baby and dad was having growing difficulty performing his duties as a husband. His “secret” drinking problem was probably part of the issue. The vice was something everyone knew about, but it just wasn’t something good Christian people discussed. Also not discussed were the bruises that occasionally peaked out from the edges of mom’s clothes. Dad always got better when a new child entered the family. At least for a while. So, when the task was not being accomplished, mom pushed for a blessing from outside the country. Dad just went along to shut her up. In the end, Jess was not his blood and the stress of a new baby in the family just made the situation worse. Things got more crooked as Jess got older. Yelling. Hitting... More drinking. Mom pretended everything was fine as she always did. More and more Jess felt that the tension and hostility was being focused on her. More and more they wanted to run away. But where could they run?
When they were fifteen the tension and anger on the inside of the house was a constant. Jess’s siblings wished they would just go back to their own country. Finally there was one particularly bad day during a weekend when Jess wasn’t feeling good. Their sinuses felt clogged, they felt warm, and they had a headache. They walked into the living room, tripped on the carpet, and went shoulder first into the coffee table. Jess would just suffer nothing more a bruise on her shoulder and some soreness. Unfortunately their siblings had snacks and drinks said coffee table. The drinks now ruined the snacks. Before their brothers and sisters even stood, Jess took the usual defensive position, knees and head to the floor, hands covering their head. Their brothers and sisters then did what they normally do in the “Jessica the jinx did it again” situation. They surrounded Jess and began yelling. A few punches, slaps, and a kicks were added for good measure. Jess wanted to just disappear.
It was suddenly quiet. They opened their eyes and looked around. Jess was kneeling in the middle of a street at night. It was so quiet they could hear voices coming from one of the row houses nearby. The voices were not speaking English but something still sounded familiar. They got up and slowly walked closer to the house. The voices were speaking Korean. They recognized it because Jess had been learning Korean online whenever they could find a time and place to do so. Often it was hiding in a library. Then they noticed subtle differences like street signs and license plates on cars. At first, there was a sense of bewildering wonder. But that quickly gave way to the fear and plain confusion. Several thoughts raced through their head.
“Why am I here? Where am I? What happened? I’m alone.” were just a few of them.
Panicked, Jess closed their eyes and wished they were back home. And then they were back home, surrounded by their brothers and sisters again. Though now their siblings were silent and confused. Their oldest brother pointed his finger and was about to yell when Jess was struck with the urge to be outside. Then they were in the front yard. Jess’s confusion and fear kept building. They wanted to go hide in their room. And then there they were, in the bedroom they shared with their sisters. They could hear their brothers and sisters yelling and panicking with the strange development of their disappearing sister. Fortunately for all of them, their parents happened to be out. For a moment Jess thought about that neighborhood they were in and again and their surroundings faded into the street among row houses at night.
It was then that they realized something special was happening. Jess remembered all the stories of people getting fantastic powers all over the world. The fear faded and they began to feel like the weight of the world on their shoulders quickly eroding. Their dad said the stories of powers were just made up and if they were real then it was the “Devil’s work.” They were never convinced powers were evil. They might even be blessings. Now they just might have the best gift ever. Jess had prayed for escape and maybe God actually listened for a change.
They quickly came up with a plan. Jess materialized in the attic of their house and grabbed an empty duffel bag. Then they walked over to where their bedroom would be beneath their feet. It didn’t sound like anyone was in there so they faded into the room and got to packing clothes. Nothing fancy, just stuff to get around in. Jess had to be quick. They zipped up the bag just as one of their sisters walked in. Stunned, their sister just stood in the doorway, staring. Jess decided to do something they had always wanted to do. They flipped off their sister. Then they were gone. Jess’s family never saw them again. For years, they had been fantasizing about finding their “real” family one day so they decided to go back to Korea. They knew it would be a difficult task. When they were nine, Jess found their adoption paperwork in their dad’s desk. They saw their birth name, Yeong-ja, just before their oldest sister busted them going through dad’s things. Dad wasn’t happy about Jess “snooping around” and put the only clues to their past into the fireplace as punishment. Jess tried to search for their birth mother and family, but never had any luck. They went back to the neighborhood they first appeared in, hoping it had some connection, but they never found one. So they just moved on with their life.
At the beginning of their life in South Korea, Jess went by their Korean name and still identified as female. The first time someone asked their name they realized they had no family name and nearly panicked. They never thought about it and wanted something really good and unique. But their brain froze up and spat out one of the most common family names in Korea, Kim. So Kim Yeong-ja went on to make a minor living teaching English here and there with people who could not normally afford classes. Cash only of course. Sometimes they traded English lessons for room and board. Not having legal residency or identification made for tough months. Only knowing a survivable level of Korean at first also made it rough for a little while. Fortunately their immersion into the language and culture remedied that problem fairly quickly.
Jess’s fortunes changed when they realized their teleportation gift could be profitable. They soon established a lucrative career as a courier and started going by the name Jinx. They offered next day deliveries all over the world. Next hour if the client could afford a higher rate. There wasn’t really any increased difficulty in making next hour deliveries but Jinx figured if the big corporate shipping firms could get away with charging more for express service, why be a disruptor? Jinx’s fees were high in general, but their service was reliable and most importantly, no paperwork required. They typically avoided human trafficking but on occasion Jinx helped people escape bad situations and immigrate to other countries without documentation. This was strictly on a case by case thing. Jinx screened their clientele and jobs very carefully. Mostly for their own safety. If you lied to Jinx in any way, rumor was you could end up dropping into the middle of an ocean or a live volcano. Jinx would never confirm this but also didn’t deny the possibility.
It was around this time that they also started going by Jess in their personal life. When being a girl did not feel right, being called Jess made them feel a little better. Then they were Jess most of the time when they were not Jinx at work. They came to like having different names. It somehow felt natural. It became a way to give people only the parts of them that Jess wished for others to have. Their personal and financial freedom also gave them the room to explore and confirm every part of themselves. Before leaving home, Jess was only ever Jessica the girl. As a girl they were confined to acting like and looking like a girl. They occasionally wanted to try their brother’s clothes but never got the courage to do so. Once one of their brothers was caught trying on a dress and paid a hefty price for it.
When Jess started living in Korea, they initially stuck to women’s fashion as it was what they were used to. Experimentation gained them an increased appreciation for men’s clothing. They dabbled in both and mixed and matched on occasion. Early on they sometimes presented as male when meeting male clients. It was mostly for personal safety when they thought the client could pose a threat. When Jess appeared as a man, some men were less likely to think they could take advantage. Though it didn’t always work. Which is what led to Jinx gaining a reputation for disappearing people who were uncooperative or who tried to get too familiar. But they also noticed that generally, men tended to take them more seriously when they appeared male. Jess then chose to appear as male when meeting male clients every time. Sometimes it was just an act. Sometimes it felt natural. And sometimes they could tell that they were being seen as a girl that was playing dress up, just being humored because their services were needed.
It was not long after this when Jess realized that their personal identity could shift just as much as the identity they showed the world. It was only then that Jess finally felt like they became who they were always meant to be. They became fluid with their professional and personal representation. Sometimes they felt more male, sometimes more female, but often they were somewhere in between and identified as neither. Jinx would remain their name when working. Sometimes they were Yeong-Ja on off hours when feeling feminine and it was more convenient to do so. Most other times they were Jess. Gender aside, there was also a huge range of themes or genres they could shroud themselves in. They could appear in anything from a male business suite to some form of anime girl cosplay and also occasionally blended styles. Their personality could vary wildly too depending on how they felt that day and more importantly, how they felt about you. Jess only showed you what personality they wanted you to experience. Eventually they began appearing however they felt when working or not.
What Jess confirmed to be concrete about themselves was that women were their exclusive interest when it came to romantic partners. At first they were not sure how to handle it. Same sex love was very wrong in the community they grew up in. But Jess eventually fully embraced this facet of themselves. Not that this made them very successful romantically. They had a tendency to be a little too enthusiastic with their interest and came on too strong. It was the only area of their life that they continued to be clumsy. Interestingly, the more comfortable Jess became with themselves, the less clumsy they became in general. They were quite elegant and precise in the way they moved. Jess could perfectly convey the level of male or female physicality that they felt like displaying as well as any other body language and non-verbal cues they chose to use. Whatever mood or intention you thought Jess was showing, it’s what they wanted you to see.
Unfortunately growing alongside Jess’s identity were issues related to her childhood trauma. They developed problems with people touching them and being in crowds. Yelling could also make them uneasy. They didn’t have a problem with loud noise, but loud aggressive voices made Jess anxious. They managed to hide these issues pretty well by controlling the environments they were in. But it wasn’t always easy. It also contributed to their romantic struggles. Despite how confident they appeared, I’m not sure if Jess was really all that comfortable being emotionally close to anyone. Their need to feel wanted was sabotaged by the part of them that was too scared to be hurt. Jess never knew why their birth mother gave them up and why the family that adopted them treated them like a burden. They didn’t want to be just a person who was put up with. Jess didn’t want to be a jinx to someone they cared for. So it was just easier to appear casual when it came to love than to take a chance on receiving the hurt.
Jess was our go to person in tricky situations. Of course they also prided themselves on getting on peoples nerves. They were a talker. Jess knew they got on Donna’s nerves. They found Donna a little tightly wound and lacking in humor so it was another one of their joys to find a button to push. We later determined that Jess only really messed with you if they liked you. We were among their favorite clients. Lucky us. It helped that Donna paid on time, every time, and never had trouble covering a fee. More importantly, she never tried to haggle over price. When Jinx received a text and coordinates from us, it was always good business to show up. And of course it helped that I was there.243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVa74JPaLmR
