The message of the doctor was clear. I was not human and I should consider myself a puppy. I was a dogboy and society would never accept me. The doctor thought that he was doing me a favour by keeping me in this dog pound. The problem is that it was not my choice. I did not consider myself an animal. I was a boy that happened to be different. I did not want to be locked up. Everyone deserved to be free. I missed my parents and my best friend Catherine. I did not understand why I could not be in the cabin. This was in the middle of nowhere. No one would see me and I could live in peace. Why was I forced to live in a cell? I had no freedom, family and I was afraid.
The guard came back to see how I was. I remember his name was Ash. When I saw him, I opened my mouth to beg him to let me go. Ash reminded me not to talk. He pointed at a camera that was in the cell, explaining that the doctor could see everything that I did. I kept my mouth shut.
Ash told me, “I know that you are afraid. I know this is no summer camp. I would bet that you are confused. You always felt like a human but are now being told you're just an animal. If you want my advice, then you need to accept that you are not human. The others here have done that. You need to be brave as well. Let us take care of you. Being a puppy is what you were born for. You will find accepting this, you can be very happy.”
Ash went and went back to my corner. There is no way I would ever accept that I was an animal. I would never accept that someone owned me and that I was locked up. The other puppy children here could have accepted this. I could not understand why they would accept that they were animals and pets. I tried speaking to the boy in the next cell to me. He was laying down in a dog basket. Why did he get a dog basket and I only had straw on the floor? I tried asking him his name and told him my name. He did not answer me. He looked afraid. He turned away from me and I could see him shaking. I tried speaking with the two others, but the reaction was the same. They turned away from me without saying a word. The only sounds that came from their mouths were grunts. The boy in the cell next to me even started barking so my voice could not be heard.
Did the other children here think they were animals, or were they afraid?
Whatever the case was, it was a lost cause trying to speak with them. I went back to my corner. All this made me feel more alone. There were 3 other children here, but they were like pets now. I also thought about the turmoil that I went through. How many children can say that they were hunted and shot at? How many children can say that they saw their dad get shot? I felt guilty that I left Dad there bleeding to death. While I was thinking about this, I had a small panic attack and wondered if my Dad was alive or dead. I felt as if I should have helped him. Not knowing how he was now was like a knife in my heart. Was my Dad alive?
The day went very quiet. There was nothing to do. I saw the other puppy children playing with some dog toys. One was even chewing at a bone while they had balls and squeaky toys. The squeaking noises were very annoying. It was also annoying that there was nothing in my cell. This made the day go very slowly. It made me also think about how much I missed my family. I was also mad that I was not good enough and let these men capture me.
The next morning, I woke up and once again hoped this was a bad dream. It was not. I tried speaking to the other children. Once again they did not answer me.
“Why do you not speak,” I pleaded, “Did you all forget your human side? Has this place convinced you that you are just puppies? Do you think you are animals? We may all be doggy children, but we are still human. We have both human genes and dog genes. We have rights. We should not be locked up like animals. Why have you forgotten this”
As I was talking, Ash came and banged the bars. He looked both mad and worried. I was told to shut my mouth. I was reminded that I was not allowed to speak. He told me that if the doctor saw me speaking on the surveillance video, I would be punished. Once again Ash told me that it was best that I just accept my situation. He also offered a compromise that I can speak with him when he bought me my breakfast as the doctor always wakes up late. All this confused me, I was not allowed to speak and yet could speak when Ash came in the morning. Besides that, he called the same dog food that we got all day breakfast.
I asked Ash why the others had baskets to sleep in and toys. Ash told me that these were rewards. He explained when the doctor thinks that I have accepted that I was not human, but a puppy and an animal and a pet... that I would get my rewards. I glared back at him. Ash just smiled. I could feel a panic attack coming as I feared that I would end up like the other children here. They have accepted that they were puppies.
When Ash went, the puppy boy in the next cell told me that his name was Andrew. Then he whispered, “At times I forget that my name is Andrew. I forget my parents. Ash is nice though. He is trying to be nice to you. That is why he allows you to speak. He did the same with me.”
“Why did you submit to the doctor and think you are just a pet”
“Look at us! Do we look human? We have dog ears and a tail. I even have a small snout. My parents had to hide me. I don’t even think that they loved me. They hid me and were ashamed of me. When I came here, I was just like you. I thought that I was mostly human. Over time, I could see how different I was and that I would never survive in society. I felt safe here and someone was taking care of me. I suppose the doggy side of me started taking over and I stopped talking and started barking. I started to accept I was a puppy. I know now that I am a puppy and I am happy. I want the doctor and Ash to be pleased with me.”
“You can’t be a puppy. There is still some human in you. I mean, puppies cannot speak like you did now.”
Andrew admitted that he don’t remember the last time that he spoke. We could hear the surveillance camera start to move, so we stopped talking.
Once again I could do nothing except to think. Andrew accepted that he was an animal. It reminded me of the “X-men” movies. Mutants and humans could not accept each other. In a way, we were mutants and humans just locked us up and treated us like pets. The thing that made me think was did Andrew think he was animal and not human? Was it just easier for him to submit to the doctor? Did he give up hope?
My mind was so confused. Maybe it would have been easier for me to believe I was more puppy than a boy. Maybe I belonged here.
Later that day, Ash came back to feed us. I started eating the dog food as I was so hungry. I guessed that this was the first step to submission. To be honest the dog food tasted good. I think that no normal boy would think that dog food tasted good. The fact that I was half puppy meant that I thought it tasted great. Still, I did not eat the food like the other children here. They had their mouths in the bowl. I used my fingers. This was an attempt for me to remember my human side.
Ash told me that I looked worried. I did not dare to speak. He told me that I could tell him what was bothering me. I whispered that I was worried about my Dad. He was shot when I was captured. Ash told me that my Dad was taken to the hospital and the last he heard was that my Dad was recovering. He was no longer in critical condition. This made me smile. Ash smiled back and told me that I had a nice smile. He wanted me to be happy here. I whispered back that I would smile more if he set me free.
When Ash was gone, I tried speaking with Andrew but he did not respond. I found out that if I sat in a certain way, the surveillance camera could not see me speaking. I suppose that Andrew was too afraid. I whispered to him that he should never accept that he was just an animal or a pet. We were unique and special. We had the best of human beings and puppies. Then I went and made a bed of straw and decided to sleep.
It was hard to sleep though as I was thinking of ways to escape. It seemed hopeless. There was a wall in the back with a small window high up. The window had bars. Otherwise, there were metal bars that locked us in. It would be nice to have a file or be able to pick a lock.
As I fell asleep, I wondered if a doggy basket would be more comfortable than sleeping in the straw.
During the night, I was woken up by barking and screaming. It was hard to see as there was no light in the kennel. One man had a flashlight so I could see a bit was happening. I could hear the puppy girl in the last cell barking and screaming. I could see the men attached a leash to her collar. They were dragging her out. It was quite obvious that she did not want to leave. Everything seemed to happen so fast. When everything was quiet one of the men shouted at me, “Get back to sleep you little mutt”
I laid back on the straw confused about what just happening. Where were they taken the girl? I could also hear Andrew crying in the next cell.
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