Some days I miss the feeling of normalcy one where I was a happy innocent child wearing Disney pajamas laughing happily with my friend242Please respect copyright.PENANA3I0KKJXq5H
Some days I miss the feeling the fire was pressed onto the soles of my feet the way it'd sting and be gone in a flash242Please respect copyright.PENANAQ68e0WXSoZ
Before and after it all are two very different stories one day I loved being at that trailer and the next I fought against it, one day I loved wearing those pajamas the next I wish they'd burn and I suppose those were normal reactions associated to the trauma but then there was fire242Please respect copyright.PENANAtHjLnyhA0U
I used to hate it I was afraid of it until the day came where I suddenly craved it apart of my daily routine light a match or flick a lighter smoke a cigarette and I was the ashtray242Please respect copyright.PENANALmwa1g2llG
This pain was new one I liked one I could get over one I craved but it brought my curiosity to new peaks I'd wait every smoke break to be the ash tray242Please respect copyright.PENANAxYee8WTH0H
The smoker was gone one day and our secret remained but I missed the pain I tried to recreate it with new things I began to dip my hands into hot wax I'd sit under burning water until I felt nothing yet nothing compared to the tiny flames pressed into my soles242Please respect copyright.PENANA8Xbd61kaxg
My craving progressed but nothing quite got the itch until I met blade a new type of pain but one that felt similar to fire I'd press blade into places nobody could see or I'd create accidental scratches and my secret was kept till this very day242Please respect copyright.PENANA3PTyH9iIiO
Blade had to end though I was always to scared of blade afraid I'd go to far or someone would notice so onto the next I searched and the craving kept growing but nothing was replacing blade or fire242Please respect copyright.PENANAVC4c4YnAAs
I met anorexia one night after refusing to eat one fateful accident turned into a habit anorexia introduced me to its friends bulimia and binge eating we created the perfect routine over eat purge fast for over a week at a time these three stayed the longest and still are around I suppose they're the ones who are hard to leave behind but the trio is my secret till this day and not one has noticed.242Please respect copyright.PENANAxaVjvq735M