09.221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTiS81QjA20
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlFsq04JU66
課業繁重，人際不順，升上高校之後的日子過得並不能算得上好。但我向來是報喜不報憂的性子，因此即使是夏油傑，我也沒向他吐露半點不快。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXkFHJ08uR
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP68mhxeOZQ
又是一日放學。我一出校門就看見夏油傑站在樹蔭底下，他自然地拿走我的包，一手牽起我，帶著我走往熟悉的方向。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW1lVqjC1jc
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPco3hLY8Uj
傑。我突然停下腳步，輕聲喊他。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGnxLkU3jb
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjSkQOxh3G4
他回頭看向我，「嗯？」221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYN2Sz8r6Y1
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtUZ9f8y0Ah
盯著夏油傑額上溢出的薄汗，我墊起腳尖用手帕替他擦拭。要不我以後自己走回家吧？我問。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡef6iEnNlOI
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmAF7fJVyee
「怎麼了？」221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrn6Gs4XWQP
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ39YugyngLS
沒什麼，我搖搖頭，「太熱了，捨不得你等。」221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVxTvebougs
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtNowyNN4N
暑夏已至，正是咒靈好發的時節，夏油傑的工作量肯定是只增不減。雖然我天天見他，很難察覺他具體的改變，但也不難看出最近的他正處於極度疲憊的狀態中。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNO2pyiApzF
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8zUHmXMhuk
「還好。」他言簡意賅地回應我。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9BgPnopR1C
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKboUlzl2nE
騙人，你話都變少了。我說，「連你的瀏海看起來都沒元氣了啦。」221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡic2kHLvrsf
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD9CE8RqCZ6
「……」夏油傑看向我的眼神逐漸不善。我連忙告饒討好，語帶撒嬌，「開玩笑的、開玩笑的──原諒我嘛──」221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡldIUiiVyTW
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTI1hkTcsHn
經我這麼一插科打諢，氣氛總算有所緩和。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqe6mFXd1Dt
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH1P1n9FP8m
不過我真的很擔心你，我說。又是苦夏嗎？221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrRxvtmBcUV
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCN65BnNUDU
他說對。我對他的回答毫不意外，「那挑一天來我家吧？我們一起吃冰鎮西瓜怎麼樣？」221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0L9ahDgDmj
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPw0X5oe0tI
夏油傑凝視我，他最後伸手輕撫我的髮絲，柔聲說好。我顯而易見地鬆了一口氣，近日的疲乏感似乎隨著他的動作一掃而空。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvrQrDC9gu
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNpAC0xpLx9
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQe8w5fvpK8
「除了冰鎮西瓜以外，還想吃什麼？」221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl3mck9zuCY
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBAETiPfr23
「唔，綠豆湯吧。」221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfVF4pz6cxW
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtAGRXSGb4i
「好呀，那蕎麥麵呢？」221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKSJEqpkwS
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnkgsiVw7dN
「也要。」221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsSU4V7vBPV
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3lJJVOK629
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDGegtJ0tkw
圍繞在他身邊，我一路叨叨絮絮，像極一隻嘰嘰喳喳的鳥兒；而他背對夕色，看向我的眼神繾綣而溫軟。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJTDRDOOJhL
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Fm0UVfMmf
我永遠不會忘記這一刻。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6fAK0mwziu
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPYXvKgKeZ
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVwRkegSqpX
從那之後我開始自己上下學──花費整整一個月的時間，我才終於習慣「沒有夏油傑在身邊」這件事情。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkLuFfo8qDk
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jN47p5hTI
但還是難免想念。以前總覺得愛就是無時無刻的陪伴與關注，但在這三十個幾乎見不到他的晝夜裡，我卻突然有了新的看法。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLCxFPoMf0
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGmQgOc6Nt
我開始將注意力擺放在夏油傑以外的人身上。下課時和幾個不錯的同學說說話，一起去逛喜歡的店家，假日偶爾約出去吃飯；放學走在熟悉的小徑上，我察覺到一旁的樹叢終於開了小小的花，是我喜歡的顏色。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMj6zpcMpdY
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Tzdn5WtA5
流動的風、落下的雨、搖晃的枝椏、落入耳裡的鈴鐺聲……我的世界變得多采多姿。不再是只有夏油傑，不再滿心滿眼都只有他。我知道我還是喜歡這個人，但我的生活卻因為與愛人的分離變得更美好──而我就會在這些美好的瞬間想起他。想跟他一起坐在虹龍上，看每一場東升西落；想跟他一起手牽著手，走過長長的街道。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLg9bSbqaTW
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8YpcPd440s
正因為聚少離多，所以才明白與他相處的每分每秒是多麼珍貴。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpBdyvXI72
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwpM3klCasR
「分離使我意識到愛的本質。」我傳給他的簡訊上這樣寫著。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMs0eoAvhTv
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVuHZLFWwWO
愛是彌補彼此的缺陷，是兩個破碎靈魂的相擁。我眼看鏡子裡笑容日漸燦爛的自己，心想自己大概也擁有那種包容一切的力量了。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdjnNnRVVaR
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡco0XScTkEN
「愛的本質？」221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87jhJTUAhw
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcP7HTR62Yh
「是啊。」我回應他，「我覺得愛是寬容。」221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTDQVRBKLTF
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlnRajCBUgo
放你飛翔，做你的歸巢。在你不在身邊的時候將自己活得出色，以最好的姿態迎接你。我想這是愛吧？221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFS14CRqOxf
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6PdGcEYi4N
「……你說的對。」半晌，他回應我。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFR7nJIfIkh
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6lgIUeiC9a
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhuXz3jtNz
再見到夏油傑的時候已經是過年的事情。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq9e4DGJ9X4
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBEzN7KUlZ
「新年快樂。」221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9GP7IdGGUJ
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkV4xs1lUA4
站在我家門口，他身影單薄，臉上的微笑仍然好看。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5B1KL4Jg9
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWas07RP46
很難肯定是不是錯覺，但是幾月不見的夏油傑，我的男友，我的愛人──他似乎變得很陌生。這個認知讓我有些無所適從。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHUSgGp8G6E
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW8uDAoVv9w
我看著他，最後只能擠出一個微笑。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIcA8TegvBO
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQHQenp1Ca5
「新年快樂，傑。」221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJPfugmvRmW
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHV3cYIrS35
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVkemhcom6F
──或許關係就是這樣破滅的。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡroJQw98clM
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡylhU6MGbrZ
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbMunWsqkA
10.221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡojrIzpV9p7
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSuvpJA2t59
夏油傑向來很寵我。這點無論是交往前還是交往後都是。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk6JOuEwkhe
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMM8GF1RU9E
以前只當是他對於鄰居妹妹的愛護之心而已，又或者是個性使然──畢竟他從小到大都是優等生，名氣響亮到街坊鄰居沒有人不知道他；說白點，「夏油傑」這三個字就是父母們拿來教育小孩的名詞。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4YavGIF3RQ
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL9x4I4oADQ
還記得那時才剛搬家不久，爸爸媽媽出差去了，於是家裡又只剩下我一個。這種事對我而言並不稀奇，反倒是夏油一家得知這件事情之後，便隔三差五地喊我去他們家吃飯。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjC2D879vjZ
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPkTTFZtoZE
我臉皮薄，不大好意思經常打擾他們一家，有時也會推托找些藉口婉拒夏油阿姨的好意。然而姓夏油的大抵都是貼心的性子，在察覺到我的難為情後，他們開始換各種方式明裡暗裡地照顧我。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNHWUgrymnR
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoRwRHbgjC4
而夏油傑就是那道讓我跟他們產生更多交集的橋樑。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh2A6myqdWl
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmaeg2h6VD
我跟他差不了多少歲，每天一起上下學，夏油傑時常拎著父母特別叮囑要交給我的便當，然後笑眯咪地找各種說詞讓我收下──我覺得其實這對他來說大概算不上什麼難事，因為他很聰明。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkTP2M26kYg
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxMBV3ZVknB
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS1Y6pdLT9d
隨著時間遞進，我們更熟悉一些之後，我也未曾深思這個問題。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxyPk0Ai7BG
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvcx4ZNNayV
我只知道他從最初我們認識的那時就對我很好。一直都對我很好。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdOLi3B7Qy5
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvvqwNDug8y
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvAZRCGXQ6f
一推開家門就聞到濃濃的血腥氣。我拿著手機有些腳軟，腦袋空白了好幾秒之後只想到要打給夏油傑──轉念一想，他大概還在出任務也說不定，於是改成打報警電話。但就在我準備撥通的時候，夏油傑打過來了。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxsc0siIun
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLk8TiPk6QB
我連忙接起，不敢大聲說話：「傑……」221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZnArB4mHVF
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWEjZygHv23
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYCkOQ2hic
電話那端傳來的聲音聽上去有些失真。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbCNLJqjpQ4
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMkt8VtBlrV
他對我說：不進來嗎？221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW1Ighq3eW2
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrAmE4iRlpU
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡACmKI3tRTy
室內傳來的聲響與他說話的聲音近乎同步。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWXYPxbW78m
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOwlwPCWRl
前方客廳的門被緩緩地、緩緩地推開。是夏油傑，他握著手機的那隻手還舉在耳邊。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vHj2MU261
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM0BoyfeMLv
正在聽電話那頭傳來的，急促的呼吸聲。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWicABas3d
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYCOrWWMFft
「……不進來也沒關係，反正你走不掉的。」他用一種令人毛骨悚然的溫柔語氣和話筒另一端的人說話。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdufuA4bETw
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuRL18UB3gL
惟有那雙棕色的晦暗視線，自始至終都停留在我身上，從未移開。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMRZYMUnfYp
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGdKMrdVkxH
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHcDI6I4wv0
就在此時此刻，我才突然驚覺，或許不僅僅只是如此。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNedJUpsU6
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9gb47AfnUv
我好像從未了解過他。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiNoYvrd2pg
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQiSZrhn3h
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhjLTktEGXg
我站在玄關處與他對視。側過臉的時候，還能看見一旁鏡子映照出自己蒼白的臉孔和閃爍的目光。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcTYE2xO2tx
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu9CRvATqok
「是你嗎？」221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnIHQPRCNqN
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayJJiC0zb4
是我──他用一種跟平常無二致的語氣如此回應。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDA5oZjMKjg
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOLSgETZ8GW
「……我能問問為什麼嗎？」221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡykE9Uz73nk
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡecuc9iMqUc
夏油傑笑了一下。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKcWEMpkYkb
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZAN5ZxEPpS
「我為什麼要跟猴子解釋理由？」221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZyWF9AA46
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRr7Xjx3WKR
──猴子。聽見這個尖銳而充滿冒犯的詞彙從他嘴裡出來的時候，我略感意外、又好像是意料之中地跟著笑了。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahFESRuBUn
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6hfwWvtPbf
我知道夏油傑的性子並不若表面上那樣可親，他實際上是個慣於用上對下角度去看待世界的人；物以類聚，他若不傲慢，怎能跟五條悟處得來。他唯一和五條悟最大的差別便是他懂得偽裝，而且還裝得有模有樣，沒有人不被他那副溫柔的模樣給騙去。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi8TiZMfnyj
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuMUwVwLNqU
我想我也被騙了。擅自以為在他心裡，自己的存在和別人是不一樣的；以為他說過「他總是會保護我」便是一輩子的事情。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9aa3QmwBqH
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADfovNx31A
我總是忘了那個「總是」，忘記自己不過是被選擇的那方，而他隨時可以將我踢出他的世界。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡorpEN9oVMC
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeEOhX7zk4o
都說同類相吸，而我們不是同類。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNoOnm5rO5q
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsXxYTmosiI
但我早該知道的。他那樣的人。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbO8ioPjxsX
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk6BpMIa6u9
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVQMxCzBCmj
攔在身前的手臂強而有力，夏油傑曾經與我十指交扣過的右手此刻正覆在脖頸，原先順暢的呼吸隨著他加重的力道變得困難。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL92R07fFvY
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZNeBnD7Epl
「你要求的。」他說，「明明可以不用這麼死得這麼痛苦。」221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNZUPo9CJh
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFm6F3uF2Lz
溢出的眼淚模糊視野。看不清倒映在鏡裡的畫面，也說不出隻字片語，連思考都費力，更枉論掙扎。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeBnYKxPAyU
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就這樣吧。221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUdBUgr3Ng4
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221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMxXn4yBp5y
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhHp8nnmysj
231118 梔涼｜匿名交流單221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4tUIQcALep
240815 10 二修221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuE5KroNHmT
