09.165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7YKKBZ2Veh
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeVISOGx8Rl
課業繁重，人際不順，升上高校之後的日子過得並不能算得上好。但我向來是報喜不報憂的性子，因此即使是夏油傑，我也沒向他吐露半點不快。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7XeMBQt2mn
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBrBhYt142
又是一日放學。我一出校門就看見夏油傑站在樹蔭底下，他自然地拿走我的包，一手牽起我，帶著我走往熟悉的方向。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNzMPaQE3t0
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPmdz3mTZw
傑。我突然停下腳步，輕聲喊他。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWwyA2eou3l
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHRnd18f7L
他回頭看向我，「嗯？」165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwb5alaung
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxAvxxmBNmG
盯著夏油傑額上溢出的薄汗，我墊起腳尖用手帕替他擦拭。要不我以後自己走回家吧？我問。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs6NVMpDYNz
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg451LCPBrK
「怎麼了？」165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3gUNGB1mT0
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5feJl3PdAM
沒什麼，我搖搖頭，「太熱了，捨不得你等。」165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3kvyYkYxK0
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxPnYl41frH
暑夏已至，正是咒靈好發的時節，夏油傑的工作量肯定是只增不減。雖然我天天見他，很難察覺他具體的改變，但也不難看出最近的他正處於極度疲憊的狀態中。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5osBWwpb1L
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdqvDbdAek1
「還好。」他言簡意賅地回應我。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQDTvlTI6oh
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSiGvjZsvIf
騙人，你話都變少了。我說，「連你的瀏海看起來都沒元氣了啦。」165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhuKsKHktBR
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7g2RFlxeq
「……」夏油傑看向我的眼神逐漸不善。我連忙告饒討好，語帶撒嬌，「開玩笑的、開玩笑的──原諒我嘛──」165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjTTERCZ4yf
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGUEO9Pinm
經我這麼一插科打諢，氣氛總算有所緩和。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPf3H8wvV1l
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvXw1GYbDHA
不過我真的很擔心你，我說。又是苦夏嗎？165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8A9YlJqvz0
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvCRqkjsdpw
他說對。我對他的回答毫不意外，「那挑一天來我家吧？我們一起吃冰鎮西瓜怎麼樣？」165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3gYEVFhqz2
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTh8VHn1AHn
夏油傑凝視我，他最後伸手輕撫我的髮絲，柔聲說好。我顯而易見地鬆了一口氣，近日的疲乏感似乎隨著他的動作一掃而空。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnE1UQb1FXV
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLM34sLlb6Z
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ZUAUWSZkT
「除了冰鎮西瓜以外，還想吃什麼？」165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ0VOEQy8Re
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYP66QFA5SK
「唔，綠豆湯吧。」165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeoS9X6WHvq
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0ONTVwHyD
「好呀，那蕎麥麵呢？」165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZJjyb9ewv
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7Cqaw9JXP
「也要。」165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk9pbDhc6jZ
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWgLkdHOOU
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDvlpyYjMKH
圍繞在他身邊，我一路叨叨絮絮，像極一隻嘰嘰喳喳的鳥兒；而他背對夕色，看向我的眼神繾綣而溫軟。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJwBXGDQDb
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCps0VsleD
我永遠不會忘記這一刻。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78WT3hE3GA
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNbdeLKMlPM
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmHgMli3kuv
從那之後我開始自己上下學──花費整整一個月的時間，我才終於習慣「沒有夏油傑在身邊」這件事情。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzT5gfb25AI
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4qVGsqjKC2
但還是難免想念。以前總覺得愛就是無時無刻的陪伴與關注，但在這三十個幾乎見不到他的晝夜裡，我卻突然有了新的看法。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiDiUVvsV9W
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78i4l9Z2pB
我開始將注意力擺放在夏油傑以外的人身上。下課時和幾個不錯的同學說說話，一起去逛喜歡的店家，假日偶爾約出去吃飯；放學走在熟悉的小徑上，我察覺到一旁的樹叢終於開了小小的花，是我喜歡的顏色。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr8PvFXVfc8
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxGsEkm1cu6
流動的風、落下的雨、搖晃的枝椏、落入耳裡的鈴鐺聲……我的世界變得多采多姿。不再是只有夏油傑，不再滿心滿眼都只有他。我知道我還是喜歡這個人，但我的生活卻因為與愛人的分離變得更美好──而我就會在這些美好的瞬間想起他。想跟他一起坐在虹龍上，看每一場東升西落；想跟他一起手牽著手，走過長長的街道。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIDpXkkOji
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzaNZRbMLJq
正因為聚少離多，所以才明白與他相處的每分每秒是多麼珍貴。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSR2jvWdLa
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3KSVaP0kC
「分離使我意識到愛的本質。」我傳給他的簡訊上這樣寫著。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmwMqeleZX4
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Au8qYrbUW
愛是彌補彼此的缺陷，是兩個破碎靈魂的相擁。我眼看鏡子裡笑容日漸燦爛的自己，心想自己大概也擁有那種包容一切的力量了。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9USsJEx15W
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5Tc3eJC6W
「愛的本質？」165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTy0DET0n9Z
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkgLYKYwzzx
「是啊。」我回應他，「我覺得愛是寬容。」165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLngxAB2KCn
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAbt8H7I4kN
放你飛翔，做你的歸巢。在你不在身邊的時候將自己活得出色，以最好的姿態迎接你。我想這是愛吧？165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoVMfGJMroE
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWpbaek8Tkn
「……你說的對。」半晌，他回應我。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiMFzrQpgrF
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4t6npigOCz
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfJvhuFluuv
再見到夏油傑的時候已經是過年的事情。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw7t17vOHzg
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo4N3tWt8SB
「新年快樂。」165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJzxprjq7n
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQQA6jFcHqQ
站在我家門口，他身影單薄，臉上的微笑仍然好看。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUeOSpXQn5N
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6khMXLETXF
很難肯定是不是錯覺，但是幾月不見的夏油傑，我的男友，我的愛人──他似乎變得很陌生。這個認知讓我有些無所適從。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAvcb4bYyF6
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6bp44mXwHc
我看著他，最後只能擠出一個微笑。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNLAXlb8QNw
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmavIUNdytl
「新年快樂，傑。」165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr9z7bTorGk
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVt8qhdTROa
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4x1CSPGeqr
──或許關係就是這樣破滅的。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ixpb2bRP9
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm7c6ay6qef
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSgkgnebqpl
10.165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbbFQWsrkhc
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK0mtQqIiwo
夏油傑向來很寵我。這點無論是交往前還是交往後都是。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk3dHiXyfPw
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡif00OsLOhR
以前只當是他對於鄰居妹妹的愛護之心而已，又或者是個性使然──畢竟他從小到大都是優等生，名氣響亮到街坊鄰居沒有人不知道他；說白點，「夏油傑」這三個字就是父母們拿來教育小孩的名詞。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6gH4bPXIOv
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD61H4Zdm5U
還記得那時才剛搬家不久，爸爸媽媽出差去了，於是家裡又只剩下我一個。這種事對我而言並不稀奇，反倒是夏油一家得知這件事情之後，便隔三差五地喊我去他們家吃飯。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqXwgrlOzGE
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5kIGESYPOn
我臉皮薄，不大好意思經常打擾他們一家，有時也會推托找些藉口婉拒夏油阿姨的好意。然而姓夏油的大抵都是貼心的性子，在察覺到我的難為情後，他們開始換各種方式明裡暗裡地照顧我。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhftApuSxMN
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqEbLWddGKa
而夏油傑就是那道讓我跟他們產生更多交集的橋樑。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAMXjXV3zT2
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlMspeb5Y9G
我跟他差不了多少歲，每天一起上下學，夏油傑時常拎著父母特別叮囑要交給我的便當，然後笑眯咪地找各種說詞讓我收下──我覺得其實這對他來說大概算不上什麼難事，因為他很聰明。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRw5iy8d7z4
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYbCZTaY8vT
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWeS1ycbuhf
隨著時間遞進，我們更熟悉一些之後，我也未曾深思這個問題。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqBX16QrbMY
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVMM1vhgAKi
我只知道他從最初我們認識的那時就對我很好。一直都對我很好。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡonuYPqPCFr
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ82EzrSQylL
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Mwkpn0ZXO
一推開家門就聞到濃濃的血腥氣。我拿著手機有些腳軟，腦袋空白了好幾秒之後只想到要打給夏油傑──轉念一想，他大概還在出任務也說不定，於是改成打報警電話。但就在我準備撥通的時候，夏油傑打過來了。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1a9eLI4C65
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡATE6EKemzl
我連忙接起，不敢大聲說話：「傑……」165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyeeLXANHBb
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22X6oOyEDV
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahM6ElXaHq
電話那端傳來的聲音聽上去有些失真。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGMRZKG4w1
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKrDR4dwPF
他對我說：不進來嗎？165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8jMhCLKPY
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTGG8K1DW4y
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEJGNgqPKQJ
室內傳來的聲響與他說話的聲音近乎同步。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9c33DN5grR
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpEEYDVATwb
前方客廳的門被緩緩地、緩緩地推開。是夏油傑，他握著手機的那隻手還舉在耳邊。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLQEA3RAlAn
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwaHxNxe0Mp
正在聽電話那頭傳來的，急促的呼吸聲。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNUDLwbXswq
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpAK9j1C1K1
「……不進來也沒關係，反正你走不掉的。」他用一種令人毛骨悚然的溫柔語氣和話筒另一端的人說話。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx1LyiwckP6
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr7ug3sY1cm
惟有那雙棕色的晦暗視線，自始至終都停留在我身上，從未移開。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaqYzxoageS
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvOh9eZib6U
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ69oBGpagOw
就在此時此刻，我才突然驚覺，或許不僅僅只是如此。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBzfX9KmMRf
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZsvWBcLS2c
我好像從未了解過他。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlttYFXxo4z
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ZFLd1ScG3
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlGTdJWQI9h
我站在玄關處與他對視。側過臉的時候，還能看見一旁鏡子映照出自己蒼白的臉孔和閃爍的目光。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡruiMpbdKLR
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPNvEMbj6HR
「是你嗎？」165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJHtNXHTJxX
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnXKRK65wzy
是我──他用一種跟平常無二致的語氣如此回應。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0BxwUYb7Iy
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Gl0Gy2PbO
「……我能問問為什麼嗎？」165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVp2wl49qS4
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxvkj71HT1a
夏油傑笑了一下。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVI2lATQmL2
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYpoD2EbqvJ
「我為什麼要跟猴子解釋理由？」165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ttYafLrfi
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmeIx279HL
──猴子。聽見這個尖銳而充滿冒犯的詞彙從他嘴裡出來的時候，我略感意外、又好像是意料之中地跟著笑了。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4JGqsutIwv
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzAvBr9ko6i
我知道夏油傑的性子並不若表面上那樣可親，他實際上是個慣於用上對下角度去看待世界的人；物以類聚，他若不傲慢，怎能跟五條悟處得來。他唯一和五條悟最大的差別便是他懂得偽裝，而且還裝得有模有樣，沒有人不被他那副溫柔的模樣給騙去。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJKeEApG0z
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoH5K4kaCOl
我想我也被騙了。擅自以為在他心裡，自己的存在和別人是不一樣的；以為他說過「他總是會保護我」便是一輩子的事情。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbVUYRp20NE
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGVLeBvuwcC
我總是忘了那個「總是」，忘記自己不過是被選擇的那方，而他隨時可以將我踢出他的世界。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4MIP6ZIJDh
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0TOokkxJSs
都說同類相吸，而我們不是同類。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo4jcqZ7XYl
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhBDArXlpoT
但我早該知道的。他那樣的人。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB4SZZow2f6
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡInxaj6OgMK
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgVtUUda0Po
攔在身前的手臂強而有力，夏油傑曾經與我十指交扣過的右手此刻正覆在脖頸，原先順暢的呼吸隨著他加重的力道變得困難。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTvTpU57Pt
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9cDvQh3ieW
「你要求的。」他說，「明明可以不用這麼死得這麼痛苦。」165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEJoeJkXjAA
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsUdbKNeVlQ
溢出的眼淚模糊視野。看不清倒映在鏡裡的畫面，也說不出隻字片語，連思考都費力，更枉論掙扎。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwaZkN6Q8dA
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2hs7jL6ArE
就這樣吧。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHfJc3DNN1q
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKFUTde9Xzi
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRAui6G2Aq7
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRroVQPFiaY
231118 梔涼｜匿名交流單165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvAruy7OcPY
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