One’s memories shape one’s world.111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznwHhj4rLJ
“I think, therefore I am,” René Descartes once proclaimed, giving start to a new philosophical way of thinking of his own. I used to consider it yet another obvious thought; after all, thought itself exists within one’s mind, making Descartes's definition of philosophy sound spurious to my ears.111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHTJC1OTH2v
However, this “pocket universe”, simple in its shell and nigh-unknowable at its core, has provided a possibility to expand upon the obvious. No longer merely a statement of fact, Descartes's principle has a more practical application, challenging the very definitions of ‘thought’ and ‘existence’. Does this world, an amalgamation of memories, truly exist? If ‘being’ can be deduced from thought, is this world alive? Do the Homeless think; can they? If they do not, then, per Descartes, are they? What constitutes life, existence, being?111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaRRhmvE81U
I fear I may never reach a full stop in my research. Thinking about one question spawns a number of new ones, adding more and more food for thought in a geometrical progression. While pondering my previous contemplations regarding object permanence, I have come to certain conclusions, but was also challenged with a new proposition, and then another. I suppose it is only fair, knowing how much humankind is yet to learn about the physical universe and even their own habitat, yet I foolishly expected this imaginary world to be simpler, somehow. A foolish assumption, and one that I must never make again.111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ66C3WmgrOn
This world does indeed draw from people’s memories, and I have realised that ‘refreshes’ occur more frequently than I previously assumed. My new theory is that Outside updates the image of the world every time a Home owner comes to visit, but instead of it happening locally, the image is affected in its entirety, leaving old data where no new information was presented. However, more distant regions—which are invariably unclear—are still considered to be new information, creating particulates of torn memory points.111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNvnNRDeo1
The dust.111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmJ4vBR7VjO
That is why objects in my Home stay as consistent as they do; the world draws an image of itself from my own memory, updating it to how I remembered it, and merging it with the accumulated memory particulates. Perhaps that was why I felt it was so important to clean up; the dust would inevitably accumulate further had I not been doing it.111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN6UsNIGR9U
However, with this realisation came a new challenge: what of the places remembered by no one? Uninhabited islands, unexplored jungle forests, bottoms of deep oceans; what data would be drawn from which memory pool? What would one see if they happened to come across a spot like that, known not by anyone, including themselves? Is it perhaps still possible to catch a glimpse of what our world looked like in the primal ages? How would it connect to modern reality?111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiyqSoM2Weq
The idea of being able to visit authentic ancient sites filled me with excitement. If only there were any means of transportation Outside, I would gladly take the chance to travel any distance to be a witness to something no one has ever been able to witness before.111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9WfSsvS6GM
As I went down the stairs for another trip to Outside, I could not help but wonder whether Descartes himself had access to this world. Perhaps “I think, therefore I am” was how he distinguished the living and the inanimate within the universe. A simple approach, but effective nonetheless, serving well its purpose of understanding the unknowable to a sufficient enough degree.111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvbpmsWkoC
What might his Home look like?111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1NfioFWFiI
Outside met me with its consistently ambient blue gloom and deafening dead silence. I had not noticed before that none of the roads, sidewalks, and even little dirt paths were covered in the memory dust; somehow, it only became clear to me now, after I understood its nature. It is often difficult to notice that something is out of place when it is as your mind expects it to be, after all, and should you just pay closer attention, you realise with abundant clarity that your mind was playing tricks all along.111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYIydsAo6Ca
I had been steadily increasing the distance I travelled with each Outside venture, testing the limits of safe exploration. However, my concerns had proven moot; on my last trip, I had not felt any different even after crossing a considerable distance away from my Home. It served as weak proof—but proof nonetheless—that the safety of Outside travel may depend not on distance, but on the time spent within the pocket universe. While that hypothesis mostly relied on the assumption of an Owner being able to lose their Home, it seemed entirely plausible even with that dependency removed. I would not test the time limit yet; not until I was ready to give up on the real world would I even attempt to do so. I had to keep it brief.111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFi68Hinjyy
This time, I tried to maintain a faster pace, cautious still of the stray lights in the windows. The ambient darkness of Outside would be my friend in this venture; should an Owner, used to the light of their Home, decide to take a look outside, they would not be able to adapt to the darkness as quickly as to spot any movement before I would hide from their view. Fortunately enough, however, other Owners—already few and far between—seemed rather reluctant to embrace the view; I was yet to see one shadowy figure in a window, staring in the distance. So far, I had been alone with my thoughts and the muffled, echoless sound of my footsteps.111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD9BGeoBcgH
I could not help but admire the view as I went on. Everything looked both new and ancient somehow, freshly restored from many a memory and so fragile in its yearning abandonment. It was the present reflected through an endless abundance of layers of the past, concealing it from the eye but not the mind. There was a certain degree of poeticism to it, which yet again escaped my mind. In fairness, poetry was never my strongest suit anyway, giving me a fine opportunity to distract myself from constant contemplation and have a visual treat.111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFd9NkZMjbS
It was already too late, then, when I finally shifted my focus to a Home light ahead of me that was still just a touch too distant to worry about.111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmFpbTgrjcy
There was movement.111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6kEgEQ58L
I froze in place instantly, in a vain hope that whoever was coming my way would somehow miss my appearance. Beside me was only a fence I could not climb, removing the option of getting some cover to flee the scene. I darted my eyes around helplessly, but there really was nothing to help me.111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrt2wPaK4wc
That person, however, did not show any kind of reaction. They just kept moving at a steady pace towards the light, seemingly without any concern or any understanding of the possible consequences. For a moment, I thought I heard their nigh-inaudible voice. That very understanding that they seemed to lack prevented me from shouting out a warning, so I could not help but stand still and watch what might become an irreversible catastrophe. I watched as the figure stepped into the light…111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK8pp6MOiJA
…and vanished.111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwxFwqrmCz
By this point, I was no longer certain if it was a true anomaly I encountered or if my sanity was slipping away—possibly a tell-tale sign of an urgent need to go back Home, even though, as I realised just a moment after, I had explored Outside for a lot longer before than I had this time. Indeed, I was quite foolish to assume I would be the only Owner to ever explore Outside; I should have realised earlier that I am by far not the only human to make an attempt at exploring this universe. How many people have seen me already?..111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw6ntK5v9KM
The figure reappeared in front of the light, still pacing carelessly towards me.111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcdmV8fUDY7
I could not help but let out a short yelp, quickly putting a hand to my mouth to quiet myself. Surprisingly, it still garnered no reaction from the figure, who was now within no more than a few dozen yards away from me. Coincidentally, it appeared to also be within my hearing range, giving me yet another revelation.111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlWcfEbWgh8
It was talking.111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3LNbC8yXs
The voice I had heard seconds before was real, and now I could hear it with more clarity. It sounded like it was talking to someone, telling them a story not just speaking their mind out to the air—ever so distantly, so much so that it was barely comprehensible, let alone understandable. There were pauses between sentences, and at one point, I was convinced there was laughter, but… There was something so incredibly odd about it that I was so far failing to figure out; my excited mind was trying to run faster and kept stumbling on its way. Even something as simple as recalling the sounds proved to be impossible, and it did not help at all that the figure never stopped talking.111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJc4IurdiMF
By the time it reached me, its voice had become a background noise, allowing me to set my thoughts in place. Whatever that figure was, it was clear that it was not another Home owner; real people—even as real as this place might allow—do not disappear in the light, they do not speak to someone and to no one, they are not… like this. It was ghostly, like a living memory that had mistakenly ended up in this universe and never found an exit. With a glimmer of curiosity, I realised that if it were indeed the case, there would be no harm in interacting with it, as there had been no harm in interacting with Outside and its dust…111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJBDQFR2r1
I looked at the figure which was now just a few yards away. Nothing had changed about it; it still seemed to pay me no attention whatsoever. It kept a steady walk towards me, its features only distinguishable thanks to Outside’s gloom. It was distinctly human-shaped, making gestures as it spoke, as one would in a real conversation. Then, I finally made the decision. I approached it and started going alongside it in hopes of getting more insight from its story.111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx7KDRNJ5Aa
I did not understand a word.111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFpGsrIAQnw
In fact, it was much worse than that. Trying to catch at least a little piece of its monologue, I soon realised that I was completely unable to catch a single sound or recall a single intonation. It was as though I lost any semblance of auditory cognition when I listened to the figure speak; yet, somehow, I knew what I was hearing. I could not comprehend a single vowel or a single consonant, I could not tell how high or low the voice went, or even hear the pitch shift. Whenever I tried to analyse that speech, my mind threw blanks.111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRxmNy6Bc1S
I discovered then that my visual cognition, too, seemed impaired, as I could not process any distinct features of its face and body. Just as before, I knew exactly what I was looking at, and yet I did not. At the same time, I could see the features of my body, my clothing, my footwear as well as ever. It truly felt like I was going insane. I dared not speak in fear of someone within earshot being able to hear me, even though there was already one voice for that, for I did not know whether an Owner would be able to hear the figure inside their Home.111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGTsOf3ifgJ
Too much. It was just too much. I separated from the figure in a hasty walk and hurried back Home. Only once I was in its safe confines could I start analysing today’s events.111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi9Ags8h4IS
It took me a considerable amount of time to get my thoughts, flying around at the speed of light, together again. Utter chaos. It was nothing but utter chaos. I was almost convinced that this world was playing games with me; as soon as I would even barely begin to understand one new concept, another emerged, adding another sea of questions into an already impossibly vast ocean. What was that figure? Hell with that, what realm was it from? Was it from Outside or elsewhere? Was it a leftover memory, a “glitch in the system”, was it alive? I could comprehend it and I could not, both at the same time, that was so utterly impossible, why could I not process it? Why can I not recall anything about it now?111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcUbOcaf1ZS
Relax, rethink, rationalise.111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFIx7siPAkZ
There are often hints in little details. What did I see?111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr9dtf89lAB
A human-shaped figure moving towards me at a walking speed, constantly talking as it went. It did not seem alien until it disappeared in the light of a Home to reappear shortly after. It appeared to be sensitive to light…111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubpq2gdKwn
“It kept a steady walk towards me, its features only distinguishable thanks to the Outside’s gloom.”111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX0t93IVvTJ
…but not just any light; only the light of a Home. It did not cease existing upon entering it, however, instead continuing its path… beyond it, somehow? A deliberate precaution by design, perhaps?111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtqpCYLDnBr
I saw no features on the figure, and yet I knew that I was seeing them. A cognitive error, possibly, but in that case my cognition would also fail to recognise any features of my own body. It was less like a cognitive error… and more like there was no cognition to be had in the first place. Its body was not a body, it was… a concept.111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfmZpSJx105
It made sense to apply the same logic to its speech. While I had not realised it at first, it hit me now that the voice was neither male nor female, as though such details were omitted from the essence. Distinct and featureless… Not Homeless, definitely; they were but vague memory chunks, all representing a group of people that hardly existed in anyone’s memories but their own. This figure was lively, it even seemed sane, somewhat. Did it have a Home?111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhHqvHjuzC
…did it have a Home?111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHVQLUfRWF9
…had it had a Home before?111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXVxQdUFgF
Distinct and featureless. A face you had not seen in many long years, a voice you had not heard since your early childhood. Conversations long since turned into memory dust. An image buried so deep in your memory that it is no longer possible to make out anything but the very basic concepts. In a world of memories, in the keep of Homes, it was…111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhgH7Ir9UuC
…lost.111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7giY0sUE0K
One’s memories shape one’s world, and without this universe, it would be impossible to tell what happens to that world when one becomes a memory. In a world shaped entirely by images taken from various people who had found the entrance to this universe, there exists a very special kind; an image of a human finding solace in their mindspace during their last moments. Instead of letting go, they choose to become one with their hideout as their conscience gradually fades into obscurity.111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR4CVy8KIVh
So that they may not fade when their Home inevitably does.111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuLj7kltb1H
Perhaps that is why they are not visible in the light of a Home. They are alien to the layer of being that Homes exist in, one that Owners can access at will. The Lost had willingly given up that opportunity to prolong their existence for just a little longer. Just a moment, stretched into an eternity.111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXqRXwIwrmH
And in that eternity, they are not alone.111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOeols3duAz
