I stare at the mirror within the bathroom as I brush my teeth, my reflection felt...off. The stare of my own reflection made me feel like it was not of my own, but of another person. It felt like they were staring right through me... Whatever, I tried to shrug it off, I must be seeing things from my exhaustion.
I continued preparing myself for school, flossing my teeth till there was nothing left in between. As I turned to the shelf behind me, I swore I could see my reflection staring right at me. Unmoving, as if it was not me. "Aren't you going to look?", I couldn't help but gasp. It spoke to me in my own voice, was I hallucinating?
I slowly turned to face whatever was behind me, only to be met with my own reflection. But it didn't mimic me, no, it was like it's own sentient being. "It's been awhile, did you really think I was gone forever?", he smirked, his smug expression made me sick... "What do you mean, gone forever?" I couldn't help but ask, there was no way we met before.
He frowned, his smug look quickly replaced with anger. "Are you really that much of a dunce?" I was taken aback, the sudden mood swing was something I wasn't expecting. His eyebrows furled, I'm guessing my confused look only made him angrier, as he rolled his eyes and scoffed, "You stupid idiot. I'm you!" He pointed his pointer finger in my direction, pressing it up against the glass. "Don't you remember the time when you were an arrogant bastard?! Hmm, Hmm?! Did you really think you could escape who you are?!" he was pissed, so angry in fact that as he screamed through the mirror it fogged up. "That's not true!" I yelled back, "There's no way I could act like you!"
Just like that, the shit eating grin returned but the anger remained, "That's the thing, you did! And you felt good about it too." "No I-" He cut me off. "Shut up! you've been acting like a good boy for far too long and it's making me sick!" ridiculing me with every word, "Ohhhhh, look at me, I'm Mr. Nice guy who can do no wrong."
He was mocking me, my own reflection, was making fun of who I am. "You little attention parasite you know what you're!" he belted from behind the mirror, slamming his hands against the glass, "You're nothing but a phony! you act so humble and caring around your "friends," but we both know you're jealous of them! You so desperately want to be the star, you want all the spotlights on you but you are too scared-" "That's enough!" I threw the mirror to the ground, the glass shards flying around the bathroom. He laughed, “You can’t get a rid of me even if you wanted to! I AM YOU!”
No, not anymore. “Laugh all you want but you are wrong, and you always will be. I’ve fixed my mistakes, and I worked hard to become a better person!” I stomped on the pieces of glass with my shoe, breaking them even more. It was satisfying to watch him disappear, for his words to be drowned out by the crunch of breaking glass. “Sure! Anything to fuel your delusion, but do you really think that all it takes to make up for your sins is a couple of apologies?!” "It wasn't just apologies! Why can't you just accept that I'm a better person now?!" "Well if you're such a "changed man" then why do you think I'm here?!"
His words stung my soul, he had to be wrong, right? I've spent all this time fixing my problems, there is no way I would make the same mistakes again...but even so, why did it hurt so much? I know what I did was wrong in the past, I pushed so many people away because of my own insecurities. There was no way... I can't be relapsing.
I stopped stomping the glass, my feet bloodied from the shards sticking through my shoe. All that remained was a single intact fragment of the mirror. I picked it up, the glass cutting into my hand as I held its sharp edges. The person within went quiet, yet the word "relapsing" echoed through my head. When I looked into the mirror I thought he was still there. I could see the same spiteful stare, a face riddled with anger yet a slight hit of enjoyment. Yet in the end, I came to realize it wasn't him on the other side. The person staring back, was me.
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