He nods. "There's something I need to show you. Follow me."
You both head over to the gate. He is still holding your hand the entire time. He looks at you. "Let's go get that bow."
The gate opens and you both exit the compound. As you do, you feel the fresh air of the outside world. It smells so much different from inside Alexandria. You see the wall surrounding the community in front of you, and then a path that leads into the woods.
“You gonna tell me where we’re going or not until we get there?” I asked half jokingly with a smile.
He smiles at you in response. "Let's just say that I know about a place where I used to hunt before I came to Alexandria. I think it might be useful if we head to that spot right now."
He seems happy to guide you as he walks a bit ahead of you. He looks back at you as he keeps walking.
"I know that my ways might seem odd to you or anyone else, but after what I've been through..."
He stops and looks in a particular direction.
"You have to see something first. To understand why I'm this way now."
“Okay, and yeah sometimes your ways are a bit odd, but mine might seem odd to others too so,” I say lightheartedly as I stand by his side.
He nods and then he starts moving again, slowly. You pass the woods and you arrive at where he was looking earlier, around the bend. There is something there. You see what must be an abandoned building. Daryl starts moving towards it very slowly. He looks towards you with a hint of sadness in his eyes.
You can't understand why yet, but your gut tells you something's wrong. As you approach the building, he stops moving.
"I... I want to show you what I was looking for."
I nod and take his hand. “It‘s okay, take your time.”
He takes in a breath, gathering the strength to move.
As you enter, you see what looked like a restaurant from the front, it had a wide opening in front leading to the main area. You see the place is deserted. Daryl takes in another deep breath and then he heads inside. You follow him. You see that as soon as you walk inside the room, it opens up to a larger area with tables, chairs... everything you'd find in a restaurant. Daryl keeps moving towards a particular wall on the left side of the restaurant.
“What is…was this place?” I ask, genuinely curious.
He doesn't answer your question though. Instead, he has moved over to the wall he was looking for. He is standing in front of a door, one he seems to be familiar with. He takes on last look at you and you can see that... he's struggling with something. He hesitates for a moment and then he opens the door. He steps aside, allowing you to go inside.
"Kid, come here." His voice is almost begging.
I walk inside and look around.
You see a staircase leading down to an area that is mostly dark. Daryl takes your hand and moves you towards the staircase.
"Come, I want to show you something."
He then starts leading you down towards the stairs. He lets you go first. You go down the stairs and you arrive at a door, this one is slightly creaking. As you step inside, that's when you see what Daryl wanted you to see. The entire room is empty. But on the wall on the right side is written something.
“What…is this place?”
Daryl walks closer to the wall and you see that he is reading the wall.
"I just... I want you to see this."
His voice is filled with sadness as he says this. You walk over to him and read the wall. You see the words "B.C.S" written there, it appears to be spray painted, and it's written in red paint. You have no idea what that means. But you see Daryl staring at it with a lot of pain.
I stay silent, waiting for him to tell me the story of what it means if he wanted to. I didn’t want to push him to talk about it if he wasn’t ready. So, I simply took his hand to remind him it was okay and that I was here if he wanted to talk.
Daryl looks at you with that same look of pain again. He lets our a sigh. "Remember when I was talking about the man who came to our group with a black bag that night, right?"
He doesn't wait for you to answer, he just keeps talking. "After he left, that was the first time Brandon, Carol and I left the group out together. We knew we shouldn't do it, but Brandon wanted to look at the place where we originally found the man. And we knew about a place where he used to go all the time."
I nod. “How did you know about the place he used to go all the time? Was he related to Brandon or Carol?” I asked gently.
Daryl thinks for a moment.
"I think they might've been friends? We knew he used this place as a hunting ground of sorts."
He looks away for a few moments, as if reliving what he is about to say. "Anyway, as I said, we knew we shouldn't do it that night... But Brandon had to see it."He shakes his head and looks at you.
"And that was one of the worst mistakes I made..."
“We’ve all made mistakes. It doesn’t make you a bad person though, D. You’re my closest friend in our group. You’re loyal, brave, and selfless,” I tried to encourage and comfort him.
You see a tear roll down his cheek as he hears your words of support. "Carol told me the same thing."
He sighs, taking in another deep breath. He looks as if he is about to tell you something really painful. "Kid... I'm not brave, or... loyal or selfless. There is something you need to know about me."
I squeeze his hand. “Okay, but no matter what, it’s not gonna change anything between us, or the group. We all love you and that’s not gonna change.”
He looks at you with sorrow in his eyes.
"Kid... I don't know if you still want to be my friend. I don't know what you'll think of me..."
He can't get the words out. You see him struggling to say the words out loud. "I don't know if I'll be able to look myself in the mirror again after what I'm going to tell you."
"Of course I'm still going to be your friend, and I'm always gonna be here to remind you of all the good you've done, of all the people you've saved, and most importantly, how much you are loved by everyone," I told him as I hugged him.
You feel his body shaking in your embrace. He seems to be crying silently. You can tell it's something that's really hurting him.
"That man with the black bag... Brandon and I killed him. We were scared of what he might do to our group and..."
He stops talking and just hugs you back tightly. You see a tear drop from his face and land on your shoulder.
"I wanted to show you the place where we left him because I wanted to take you here and give you the opportunity to learn what kind of monster I truly am."
He continues to hug you tightly. You never saw him like this. He is truly broken.
"Kid... I need to tell you why no one blames me for that night. I need to reveal the entire truth." He doesn't release you from the hug, as if afraid you'll run away.
"I know what we told you and Carol. I told you all about the man with the bag, that we saw him. Well, that was the truth. But there was something else..." He seems to be struggling to say the words.
"I'm listening, D. It's okay, you can tell me," I encouraged him, as I kept hugging him too.
"The man with the black bag wasn't alone that night when we found him. He was with a group of bandits."
As you listen to what he is saying, you see that it's breaking his heart. You can see it in his voice, his eyes... everything about him shows that it hurts him to tell you this.
He looks away, as if to fight tears, but he fails. He looks at you and it seems like he has something else to say. "What's more... when we were hunting for this group of bandits that night..."
I look back at him kindly and sympathetically.
"I... I accidentally killed someone."
You see that he is trying to hold back tears. You feel a tear rolling down your cheek, he notices this. You see his voice shake as he continues talking.
"It was an accident... I didn't mean to do it. I swear I didn't mean to. I thought he was one of them that was hunting us... he came out of nowhere. I shot..."
You see that he looks really pained and sad over this. His pain and anger towards himself is evident in his eyes.
"I wholeheartedly believe you. It was an accident, so that's another reason why you need to forgive yourself. It won't happen overnight, I get that but it's never too late to start working towards that. I can see it's been eating you up inside, like walkers eating a corpse and I wish you would've told me sooner. If you don't learn to forgive yourself, eventually in a way, you'll become a walker internally. But remember, D, you're not alone. Not anymore. You have my support, and Carol's too. And if you choose to share this with anyone else in our group like Glenn, my dad or my brother, I'm sure they would say the same thing."
You feel his grip on your hand tighten as he listens to your words. You can see that his mind is battling so heavily against itself. But you know what you said broke through to him.
"Kid... you're right. I do need to forgive myself. But it's hard. I can't do it by myself. I need to let others in our group know about it. Even if it makes me seem like a monster, I need them to know that I am not the good person they think I am. That's why I brought you here. To see the truth."
"And that's another thing, too. You are a good person. Good people make mistakes too. But it's not one mistake that defines who you are as a person. Now The Governor, he was a monster, and we stopped him. Remember Terminus? A lot of those people were psychopaths, monsters too. You're nothing like them, okay? You are one of the most caring, kind, and badass people I know. No matter what, I'm always gonna be your friend whether you like it or not," I told him, smiling when I said the last two sentences.
You see his face soften as you continue to speak.
"Kid... I believe I am capable of being the man everyone thinks I truly am. But... There's a step I want to take now. And I need you for it." He then starts walking again, he takes your hand, slowly leading you somewhere.
"I need to tell you something else. Something very important. It's about something I want to do, something about my past that needs... resolution." He is holding your hand, leading you to a spot.
As you both move out of the building, you see that you've gone around the restaurant and are now at the other side of it. There you see a large open space with some objects scattered around. You also see some stairs that go down into a basement. Daryl suddenly stops and turns towards you.
"Kid... can you wait here for a moment?" He seems conflicted.
"I... I want to do this on my own. Okay? I just need a couple of minutes to clear my head in that basement, then I'll tell you everything, okay?"
I took a deep breath and nodded. "Okay...promise you'll be back?" I asked, trying to hide my nervousness about him being alone right now.
You see his facial expression change as he hears your last words. He seems really conflicted.
"Kid... please try not to think the worst of me. Even if what I'm about to do is pretty bad, I do it with good intentions. I won't take that long, okay? I'll be okay. Just please stay here and I'll be back."
He seems really sad as he says these words, as if they're difficult for him to say. You feel him releasing your hand. He then starts heading towards the basement stairs.
His words worried me even more. He said he'll be okay and that he'll be back. What I think is not going to happen. "Daryl...just promise me you'll be back here in a few minutes and tell me everything okay?" I asked, almost half begging and using his name instead of his nickname like normal.
He hears the desperation in your voice. You never saw him like this. He seems conflicted for a moment, as if his heart is battling his mind. But... he decides you need him right now. He turns back towards you, his face has tears on it again.
"I promise, kid... I'll be back. I just need a few minutes... Please, trust me." His voice shakes, in a way you never saw before. He looks you in the eyes, as if trying to remember your face.
"Just for a few minutes."
I took a deep breath and nodded. "Okay...I trust you. I'll wait right here, keep an eye out for trouble," I said, managing a small smile.
You can tell he really appreciated you saying that. He seemed to be really grateful for you not abandoning him right now.
"Kid... I..." He then stops for a moment, as if thinking of what to say.
"Thank you. Thank you for staying." He looks away for a moment, wiping away a tear.
You feel like you just heard him say something very important. He turns around and heads towards the basement stairs. He closes the door behind him. You wait for him. The time goes by... slowly.
I patiently wait for him, keeping an eye on our surroundings outside, in case any walkers or other survivors happen to stumble across this place.
You hear some sounds from down the stairs. It sounds like banging and shuffling. You hear footsteps coming from the staircase. You see Daryl slowly come up the stairs. As he comes up the stairs, you see his body shaking as if he was afraid.
"Kid... I need to tell you something before we head back to the group. They need to know the truth too."
You see that he has his hands behind his back. You notice that something is in his grasp. But he doesn't want you to know what it is yet.
I nod. "Okay, go ahead," I encouraged gently, relieved that he was back.
He looks over your shoulder to make sure you two are alone.
You see that he is breathing deeply, as if this is something he really struggles with.
"Kid... I am holding something very important. You could even say the most important thing of my life. And I feel you need to see it, before I tell you everything."
He finally looks directly at you. You see his face filled with pain over whatever he is going to say.
"Can I ask you the most important thing, kid? Do you... trust me? Fully?"
"Of course I do. We've been through hell...literally, it feels like...and back together. You've saved my life quite a few times, and have never once given me a reason to doubt you, or even think about it for that matter. You've always been there for me, and for our group. I trust you with my life."
You see his face soften as he hears your words.
"Kid... I need to tell you what I'm holding in my hand. And I need you to promise you won't take it away from me once I reveal it."
You are unsure what he's talking about. But you want to show him you trust him.
"Whatever you are holding... you can trust me, Daryl."
You can tell he was fighting his fear, trying so hard to show you something very important to him.
"I promise I won't take it away. Why would I? It's not mine, it's yours. It seems like it's very important to you, so I'll even help you keep it safe if you want, I promise," I told him, meaning every word.
Your words seem to break through to him. He takes a deep breath and nods. He seems to be really struggling to even say the words. He then takes his free hand and reveals what is in his other hand.
"Kid... you need to look at the object in my hand."
He shows you. You see something wrapped in cloth. The object inside of the cloth seemed too big to be held in a fist. You can't see what is really inside of it.
I look at him with genuine curiosity, silent asking him what it is.
You see him take the cloth off, slowly. You see the object in his hand. You are filled with shock. Daryl is holding something in his hand, something you never expected to see. You feel your heart sink and your eyes widen. You see him trying to say something, but he is too afraid to speak it.
You see him holding...
A baby.
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