（原作：美宅男夢工廠 by 歐巴龍）
我是鬼，五十年前因一時輕敵被該死的神父封印，今天終於有個智障把我放出來了。692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2jN0iW8H9
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUB7QzpUpIL
「啊，我不小心撞到了。」692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCRneknJIR
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRHcrHBOiD
戴著眼鏡的矮個子從地上撿起斷成兩截的十字架，那十字架做工精細，將耶穌受難的神情刻得栩栩如生，偏偏斷截處又恰好在耶穌的頸子，這彷彿是褻瀆聖子的舉動，嚇得他面色一陣發白。692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbhqtdBDdno
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我滿意點頭。692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDWKepb1pN5
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNnOWYjDfqe
很好，這就是我要的效果，愧疚吧！顫抖吧！你們內心的恐懼都將成為我的食糧！692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAwYpvAiK4P
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuOTb5yn0Rr
一旁的高個青年放下行李，接過十字架研究了會，搖頭說：「沒辦法，賠錢吧。」692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm99CpNbyIR
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjqC4OKsCa
「不知貴不貴？」692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZAahVTWxt
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkFqELfLt62
「應該還好。」692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAqy1tuSDuZ
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTvwD4ebkfE
「不過我第一次看到飯店會在房裡放十字架耶。」692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQVIjvYWB3A
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjd3ZU4d2xU
「我也是，也有可能是上一個房客落下的。」692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZBro2WkAxy
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEFL3PQTgGg
兩人說著，就扔下十字架，各自從包裡掏出一個15吋的加蓋四方形儀器，分別坐在桌邊和床上看了起來。692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYLiFLeasCt
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtlIV2jlnIo
我震驚了。692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVNyDTQMKDv
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfR4q4TnxGr
不對啊，你們不是該為冒犯神明一事瑟瑟發抖或心生不祥嗎？怎麼可以這麼鎮定？692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBh91kuV1BE
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQcyAiRILj
話說回來，剛這兩個人類說的是哪國語言？692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhZO7RXdJf4
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBrrkphMGBI
「小語。」高個子捧著四方形儀器坐到矮個子身邊，「我這邊有個Design problem能幫我看一下嗎？」692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSs47YUevca
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuyxW5JyS1k
喔，總算聽到熟悉的語言，我立刻湊過去，邊在心裡計畫各種嚇人詭計，誰知我一靠近，就被那四方形儀器映射出來的畫面嚇得倒退三舍。692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3g7yLWO2Xp
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOfDFm4xD3d
What the hell?692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFbBkmKe2ra
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcsOJrfgscI
那些密密麻麻的數字符號和文字是什麼東西？為何每一個拆開我都懂，合起來我就看不懂？難道又是教會新研發的鎮鬼經文？692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHx1qRoRkDR
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBT2DxkyPm
幸好我躲了半天，都沒感覺到不適，才又慢慢飄過去，聽他們嘰哩呱啦摻雜一些英文詞彙的對話，什麼Project，什麼Function，If不If，還有……Parent & child？692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11NvQbUZ8U
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAOf4dyEpJF
嘶——692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnNiPYrIhtt
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPrMnpZvkNt
我驚疑打量他們只要是黃種人就分不出差別和年紀的臉，開始對他們的關係感到疑惑。但不管怎麼樣，管他們是日本人還是越南人，就算是印度來的，只要是活人，這口糧我都吃定了！692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPZwebsYnWu
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqxvaw8ZHP
陰風輕輕地吹，一隻冰涼的鬼爪胡亂往矮個子的腰窩戳。692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6dVbK2nTvI
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB63DUEUCr6
「夏熠輝你幹嘛啦？很癢耶。」矮個子咯咯亂笑，捶了高個子一記。692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJK9qgwUZCT
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMOgl9EHHLD
正注視「鎮鬼經文」的高個子回過頭，投以茫然目光，「哈啊？什麼？我聽不懂。」692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9cA5nzIbXP
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYqx0vpcaCB
矮個子撇了撇嘴，咕噥一句「又來！」就看回「鎮鬼經文」，「沒什麼，你看這裡……」692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOStiYhgsdg
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqpzHdtI4cr
「 嗯。」高個子應完，就順手攬住矮個子的腰，看起來像將對方抱在懷裡。692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEuB4mn5Vum
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUdliUoGjO
我也投以茫然目光，感覺哪裡怪怪的。692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLUi0ryHx52
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6hI06H2RYE
但身為一個高端的鬼，必須不能使用重複伎倆，於是我飄到高個子身邊，俯身在他耳邊輕笑低語，「嘻嘻嘻，要不要陪我玩？」692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7dD4XJGod3
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsFFUzLuJf9
然而高個子不為所動！692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRNK2p59JD6
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7nicGIzuXi
我不死心，再說：「我的腳……你把我的腳藏到哪了？」692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGg6Iu6Twbo
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq0vQrBvv27
高個子依然面不改色！692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzF7yFQ8NJZ
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5bQEdI2V3l
我大怒，直接用吼的，「你死定了！我要殺了你！殺殺殺！」692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpygKWFP3t
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfR7nvI2XH
這次高個子終於有動作了。他皺眉掏了掏耳朵，取出一個小巧的儀器擦一擦再戴回去。692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMkUiYKsmRK
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQR0X95M48I
這一刻，我吐血，如果鬼還有血的話。692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPAmJJR8a1
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuulXBZ6A9X
矮個子比手畫腳地問：「怎麼了？」692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQEBR9Z4Rp
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbPuCaAmShO
高個子搖搖頭，「助聽器有點雜音，大概之前下雨淋到了。」692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkBRQQ4ysqK
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4gG8xnAzXs
馬的！原來這傢伙是個聾子！692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBOEf7oMz8D
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv7nI2yMwHz
受到打擊的我窩回角落自閉，直到那兩人蓋上四方形儀器，起身從行李掏出衣物，一前一後地進了浴室，我才精神一振。692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6q0HipHtDq
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQYdmIfKUPG
方才一定是因為「鎮鬼經文」的關係，才讓我出師不利，現在就應該趁他們不在，先把那可疑的四方形儀器毀掉。於是我磨拳擦掌地飄到桌前，準備用最狠厲殘暴的手段摧毀敵人時，就赫然驚見四方形儀器上頭壓著一袋綠色包裝物，那包裝物上頭還印著一個露出兩顆門牙的小傢伙笑容燦爛，這殺傷力不大，但污辱性極強！692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfBTBbanUuJ
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5e7ezOI3m1
這時，浴室傳來我聽不懂的對話。692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zr0kD70Us
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ5aXRFWghU
「為什麼要擺那包零食？」692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaBJz9PMO5h
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgKhMlbhU0A
「那是我們台灣的電腦保護神，只要有綠乖乖，所有電子設備都一定會乖乖運作。」692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNrOcDzcJd1
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdwZLdJDmz3
「所以不能吃嗎？」692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5vCZ0t5xgn
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB5BBTspUjG
「不能，吃了就沒用了。」692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrsdUCfxQlw
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhEwDPQ9D6m
「但我餓了。」692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHhPmqoF3ai
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqC8cOZgCGv
「……」692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPlwVGw3mQ
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP3qnBnDqRe
此時此刻的我已被怒火佔據理智，絲毫沒意識到哪裡不對勁，只一心想給這兩個該死的人類好看，便動用所有力量顯現身影，以最猙獰駭人的面貌衝進浴室，並開始期待人類被嚇得屁滾尿流的畫面。692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLNWBoGEXU
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWvdRibhOiJ
哇哈哈哈，驚嚇吧！恐懼吧！人……692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKcxdKArJqU
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmaJalgoNB
「啊……夏熠輝……那裡不、不行……」692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBpDNboadYk
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwNzVnPIS1t
「小語……小語……」692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ18S7diA1b0
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrXfwRPZrMO
Gya——692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvyIW1TiFdE
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIiOMCG7aiD
我發出了比曾被我嚇暈的人類還要驚恐的慘叫。692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdD23qXSUVC
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFSqW4dzLnO
They are fucking gay!692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYYblQHTYpB
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoJzu64IkDd
這如同撒旦一般邪惡的存在，徹底嚇破我的小心靈，讓我一秒縮回十字架，還很自覺地將耶穌的頸子接回來。692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY8lOJvQIyr
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL7VUyyOe6L
Oh no！No！No！No！No！Hell no！692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXja5G3qLmO
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwutHuazzTF
五十年過去，沒想到人間已經變成撒旦的天下，上帝你這不爭氣的傢伙啊！我看我還是繼續沉眠吧。692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡutRBwOH71u
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ZXy9TKoQt
浴室裡，秋推了下將自己壓在牆邊的人，沒戴眼鏡的雙眼一片朦朧，「等、等一下，你剛有沒有聽見什麼？」692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡidUljaOkBT
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEHy6QNzSW
「嗯？什麼？」夏抱緊懷裡的腰持續衝刺，臉上的神情既迷離又色情，顯然是又聽不見。692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtZV3oKqHnn
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqgfMS8KLtB
秋瞇了瞇眼，心想算了，就夾緊雙腿，繼續在夏的律動下扯著喉嚨嗯嗯啊啊。692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡswLTfFuWVT
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡirulTovqtT
Treat or trick，不給糖，就「搗」蛋！692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv4ljSoJ3VT
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ38ek37t7f
（P.S. 被關五十年的美國鬼，觀念保守，用詞不政確，請見諒（艸）692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjIwq7GF5gj
後記：
此為噗浪幾位文友自辦的【原創文手交換寫同人】活動，這次我抽到的交換對象是歐巴龍，恰逢萬聖節，就來應個景啦XD
難得參加活動，真的是非常有趣的體驗，為此我還重看了一遍《美宅男夢工場》又作了很多筆記，結果最後都沒用上🤣
本來也想隱藏風格，來寫個憂鬱正經風，讓文友猜不到我是誰，但我想來想去，實在想不到切入點，就索性放飛啦XDDD
另外，抽到我的文友是君羊，寫的是《因罪溫存》的顧懷唷，喜歡顧醫師的歡迎點以下網址來看！
#猜猜我是誰 #原創文手交換寫同人 #喵芭閉關坑司機中: #因罪溫存 #賭博
692Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡihmfou7ecF
