（原作：美宅男夢工廠 by 歐巴龍）
我是鬼，五十年前因一時輕敵被該死的神父封印，今天終於有個智障把我放出來了。691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2qZTCWB5Hm
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVmSUhX3C8b
「啊，我不小心撞到了。」691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKdU2JFlavq
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3LeyGFbAZb
戴著眼鏡的矮個子從地上撿起斷成兩截的十字架，那十字架做工精細，將耶穌受難的神情刻得栩栩如生，偏偏斷截處又恰好在耶穌的頸子，這彷彿是褻瀆聖子的舉動，嚇得他面色一陣發白。691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuSWk5I9Aoi
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBSBMaSxgo
我滿意點頭。691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbX0pJRejgk
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4d8Xqqzezc
很好，這就是我要的效果，愧疚吧！顫抖吧！你們內心的恐懼都將成為我的食糧！691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKo3CTSVktw
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWRzyZYVNzv
一旁的高個青年放下行李，接過十字架研究了會，搖頭說：「沒辦法，賠錢吧。」691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZAXDWaJiy8
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIwlCZK0AC6
「不知貴不貴？」691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZpQVKlVRVO
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE01RwNOpWg
「應該還好。」691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfmXPv9WhdR
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNMobi4Yz3
「不過我第一次看到飯店會在房裡放十字架耶。」691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7o9JKqFMu3
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIT7Tneqk9F
「我也是，也有可能是上一個房客落下的。」691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKPLsbGvo20
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQiV5ilnGZ
兩人說著，就扔下十字架，各自從包裡掏出一個15吋的加蓋四方形儀器，分別坐在桌邊和床上看了起來。691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcSfuGToVqe
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Cdp6CF2wm
我震驚了。691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9M7tA9bspN
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzVYfxm384l
不對啊，你們不是該為冒犯神明一事瑟瑟發抖或心生不祥嗎？怎麼可以這麼鎮定？691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO9r8VAsajK
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF8sM6uRSHA
話說回來，剛這兩個人類說的是哪國語言？691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡisLVDmINvH
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOCkNQrbYRw
「小語。」高個子捧著四方形儀器坐到矮個子身邊，「我這邊有個Design problem能幫我看一下嗎？」691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡST4jx9Ylmq
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmSPfoz4jqB
喔，總算聽到熟悉的語言，我立刻湊過去，邊在心裡計畫各種嚇人詭計，誰知我一靠近，就被那四方形儀器映射出來的畫面嚇得倒退三舍。691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVDbIoX6E1W
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHpGFsfJLAx
What the hell?691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBIhEDnLO1y
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Zgxgzuz6Q
那些密密麻麻的數字符號和文字是什麼東西？為何每一個拆開我都懂，合起來我就看不懂？難道又是教會新研發的鎮鬼經文？691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ548p0w0vGI
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡII8YePnB5g
幸好我躲了半天，都沒感覺到不適，才又慢慢飄過去，聽他們嘰哩呱啦摻雜一些英文詞彙的對話，什麼Project，什麼Function，If不If，還有……Parent & child？691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Tu3OphPoh
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQLTL7FI0K
嘶——691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAePWzHL1VE
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCQY2KjZbb9
我驚疑打量他們只要是黃種人就分不出差別和年紀的臉，開始對他們的關係感到疑惑。但不管怎麼樣，管他們是日本人還是越南人，就算是印度來的，只要是活人，這口糧我都吃定了！691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkuuWNZyK1H
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKiJyAAkFtW
陰風輕輕地吹，一隻冰涼的鬼爪胡亂往矮個子的腰窩戳。691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVxhk1uhBZv
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBpMgpdXqTT
「夏熠輝你幹嘛啦？很癢耶。」矮個子咯咯亂笑，捶了高個子一記。691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7gXwm0eKEZ
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOnUogViRxx
正注視「鎮鬼經文」的高個子回過頭，投以茫然目光，「哈啊？什麼？我聽不懂。」691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ9y0hQUrDT
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqK6u8QUhnL
矮個子撇了撇嘴，咕噥一句「又來！」就看回「鎮鬼經文」，「沒什麼，你看這裡……」691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvw24h4bgxE
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡivtr720iMP
「 嗯。」高個子應完，就順手攬住矮個子的腰，看起來像將對方抱在懷裡。691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL8sFXHJK2V
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCOXx70FpBz
我也投以茫然目光，感覺哪裡怪怪的。691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvZhlAgLs8
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC2tfOQslXi
但身為一個高端的鬼，必須不能使用重複伎倆，於是我飄到高個子身邊，俯身在他耳邊輕笑低語，「嘻嘻嘻，要不要陪我玩？」691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo4WoyozM22
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5e6n4T0s0n
然而高個子不為所動！691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡArzsl4pKlv
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqsZyGvTvSZ
我不死心，再說：「我的腳……你把我的腳藏到哪了？」691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoC3nqwhy7K
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX7oRYEsF9E
高個子依然面不改色！691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR2hMHbrUek
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKAawsMso1T
我大怒，直接用吼的，「你死定了！我要殺了你！殺殺殺！」691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQiDprcz9Ac
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvyNod9Gfn
這次高個子終於有動作了。他皺眉掏了掏耳朵，取出一個小巧的儀器擦一擦再戴回去。691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9oidKPg40a
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXNOqk2HLN0
這一刻，我吐血，如果鬼還有血的話。691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNMBTDrBbyQ
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9qVGnOkzFF
矮個子比手畫腳地問：「怎麼了？」691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe6Bz7EgOKt
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZdo4r5pM0
高個子搖搖頭，「助聽器有點雜音，大概之前下雨淋到了。」691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3669eOlAND
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBQQDUhFwu
馬的！原來這傢伙是個聾子！691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCCNjmEN03E
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk2spLAP76p
受到打擊的我窩回角落自閉，直到那兩人蓋上四方形儀器，起身從行李掏出衣物，一前一後地進了浴室，我才精神一振。691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV3qlRQTu6w
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡokMiME6LWP
方才一定是因為「鎮鬼經文」的關係，才讓我出師不利，現在就應該趁他們不在，先把那可疑的四方形儀器毀掉。於是我磨拳擦掌地飄到桌前，準備用最狠厲殘暴的手段摧毀敵人時，就赫然驚見四方形儀器上頭壓著一袋綠色包裝物，那包裝物上頭還印著一個露出兩顆門牙的小傢伙笑容燦爛，這殺傷力不大，但污辱性極強！691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4TdGGXALyr
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHZf9oM3Xh
這時，浴室傳來我聽不懂的對話。691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF4HbQfQrzv
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2tWblWLzYC
「為什麼要擺那包零食？」691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQxWgF4Zk9
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMS2e9xWAzf
「那是我們台灣的電腦保護神，只要有綠乖乖，所有電子設備都一定會乖乖運作。」691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDhfILaeEMi
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUisJ0De25S
「所以不能吃嗎？」691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvGzJqxBGe
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2mS3TYiMgS
「不能，吃了就沒用了。」691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiOoYKbf6qX
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG42POLKt8Z
「但我餓了。」691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeAHklO1G8N
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMUP51hrtIj
「……」691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyiEupDQk17
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPrbbNjsa2g
此時此刻的我已被怒火佔據理智，絲毫沒意識到哪裡不對勁，只一心想給這兩個該死的人類好看，便動用所有力量顯現身影，以最猙獰駭人的面貌衝進浴室，並開始期待人類被嚇得屁滾尿流的畫面。691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe2DQnMr8bs
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJeglH4X7sM
哇哈哈哈，驚嚇吧！恐懼吧！人……691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMhfcQ4IPb
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgMSGQvChkE
「啊……夏熠輝……那裡不、不行……」691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHUNLJOdxo
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARvthKpkJM
「小語……小語……」691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsRmmw7GKS8
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfWSw72TRMW
Gya——691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxsvWfLgxDU
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDtbREBta7K
我發出了比曾被我嚇暈的人類還要驚恐的慘叫。691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgOWllZH7gS
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsN4ZzjxLCe
They are fucking gay!691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmyjx8nTy2Q
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk2YNPS8hU7
這如同撒旦一般邪惡的存在，徹底嚇破我的小心靈，讓我一秒縮回十字架，還很自覺地將耶穌的頸子接回來。691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxKW1nHKXHS
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ05cbW30V10
Oh no！No！No！No！No！Hell no！691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPkF1gS5dAM
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBLHG878l2T
五十年過去，沒想到人間已經變成撒旦的天下，上帝你這不爭氣的傢伙啊！我看我還是繼續沉眠吧。691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ7U8npJt04
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQQQcrfNLG
浴室裡，秋推了下將自己壓在牆邊的人，沒戴眼鏡的雙眼一片朦朧，「等、等一下，你剛有沒有聽見什麼？」691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYH9wIH58n
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9dEjDMTz4i
「嗯？什麼？」夏抱緊懷裡的腰持續衝刺，臉上的神情既迷離又色情，顯然是又聽不見。691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0a6sUIKrfd
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaHFp7pSmUh
秋瞇了瞇眼，心想算了，就夾緊雙腿，繼續在夏的律動下扯著喉嚨嗯嗯啊啊。691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLEl4VKtLo
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMGIMMq3hXK
Treat or trick，不給糖，就「搗」蛋！691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtxRvChXFY2
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡae6QE5J2BY
（P.S. 被關五十年的美國鬼，觀念保守，用詞不政確，請見諒（艸）691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVTCZXiKe0
後記：
此為噗浪幾位文友自辦的【原創文手交換寫同人】活動，這次我抽到的交換對象是歐巴龍，恰逢萬聖節，就來應個景啦XD
難得參加活動，真的是非常有趣的體驗，為此我還重看了一遍《美宅男夢工場》又作了很多筆記，結果最後都沒用上🤣
本來也想隱藏風格，來寫個憂鬱正經風，讓文友猜不到我是誰，但我想來想去，實在想不到切入點，就索性放飛啦XDDD
另外，抽到我的文友是君羊，寫的是《因罪溫存》的顧懷唷，喜歡顧醫師的歡迎點以下網址來看！
#猜猜我是誰 #原創文手交換寫同人 #喵芭閉關坑司機中: #因罪溫存 #賭博
691Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfP0989w5ko
