Once in a while, we would hear the bombings above us. This always made me afraid. I know I was deep down in the ground, but it was as if they were becoming louder and louder. This meant that the Russians were getting closer and closer. I do not know how Hitler thought he would win this war. The thing is he did not care about the people that were being killed or suffering. He wanted every German to fight to the last man. I heard that there were very few soldiers left, so now children my age were fighting. This was so wrong. War is so wrong. It was easier for Hitler and his cronies to forget people's sufferings. We were hidden below in a concrete cage. We had enough food and it was warm. I imagine that the Germans found it impossible to find clean water and food.
Hitler did not seem to care.
I hated the bunker. It was like a prison and a cell. I missed the natural light and fresh air. I felt as if I was trapped and sometimes it would be hard for me to breathe. I wanted to see the clouds and the sun. I wanted to feel the fresh air. I wanted to see nature. The longer I stayed in the bunker, the more depressed I was. Eva (Hitler's girlfriend) could see this and told me that I had to believe that what Hitler wanted was best for me. Hitler wanted me to be safe. I did not like Eva. I thought she was obsessed with Hitler and power. She wanted to be the queen of Germany. I told her that it was a waste of time being locked up in a bunker. Germany had lost the war, and it was only a matter of time before the Russians found us. This made Eva mad. She told me that everyone knew that this setback would end in victory for Germany. She thought Hitler would save the Germans. What could I do except roll my eyes?
I spoke a lot with the Goebbels children. They intrigued me. They were nazi children and nothing else. When I spoke with them, it was clear that they thought Germany was the best country and Germans were superior. According to them, anyone who was not German or lived in Germany was inferior. The world would be a better place if Germany ruled the world. I did not say so much. It was a waste of time. These children were like Eva. They thought that Hitler was a saint and a saviour. They were brainwashed. I suppose all these children ever knew was Nazi Germany. They were bombarded with propaganda and what their parents said since they were born. These children knew nothing else but what they were told. They could not see how racist, discriminating and evil the nazi ideology was. I did hint at times that they could be wrong. This was a waste of time. They could not see anything without their Nazi way of thinking.
Hitler heard that I hated being locked up in the bunker. He called me in his small office one day. There were maps all over his desk. Hitler looked much older and more frail. When I came in, a doctor was giving him a shot. I just stood there and looked at Hitler. It was hard to believe that he was the leader of a country. He started talking to me. Once again, I was reminded that I was his niece. I had a very special position in Germany. Many Germans considered me a princess. This meant that I had to show them a good example. I had to have faith that Germany would win the war. I had to have faith in Hitler. Germans would look at how I acted and if I still had courage and was brave. The only response I had was that I knew the Germans were suffering. They were victims of a war. They were starving and in grief over the people that they knew who were killed. The German people and people all over the world were tired of war. Hitler shouted at me and told me enough is enough. He didn’t want to hear the sentimental nonsense from a little girl.
Over the next few days, Hitler must have felt guilty as he sent me gifts. They were the nicest dresses that I had ever seen. I suppose that he wanted me to look like a princess. I wondered where he got the dresses. It also made me feel bad. The money used on the dresses could have been used to feed the Germans. If Hitler wanted to make me happy, he would have to stop this war. He could repent and take responsibility for his evil actions. I still hoped that this would happen. Hope was the only thing that millions of people across the world had. I heard once someone tell me that there was good in every person. Were there any good cells in Hitler's body, or was he just a demon?
One thing that I did to make the long hours pass by was listening to the radio. German radio stations were full of propaganda that Germany was winning the war. I doubt that any German believed that. I rather listen to the BBC. It was hard to get but I was proud of how I could find the station. I guessed that the BBC had some propaganda, but it seemed very truthful. The news was about how the Allies were defeating the Germans and it was only a matter of time before the Nazis were defeated. This made me happy as I thought I would not be trapped in the bunker for much longer. It also made me worried because the Russians would capture us and what would happen to me? The Russians would see me as a German princess. They would probably shoot me. Let's hope that the magic book works again if this happens.
The next time I saw Hitler was just as shocking as the first time. Once again he was getting an injection. It made me think that he was a drug addict. He was on a rant that he could trust no one. He told me that the other generals were telling him that Germany was losing. Hitler had a plan to save Germany and this never happened. His generals told him that there were not enough soldiers. They wanted Hitler to seek peace. On top of this, some top Germans have left the bunker and some are trying to negotiate peace with the allies. The ones that were here were looking for any opportunity to remove him from power, The only thing I could say was that everyone wanted peace. Hitler told me that this would only end when Germany had a victory
The next time that I spoke with the Goebbels children, they said they had some gossip for me. One of the top Nazis went over to the British. To show them goodwill, he let 1000 Jews go free. Then I remembered stories about Nazis putting Jews in concentration camps. Over 6 million Jews were killed during World War 2. It made me sick thinking about it. It became worse when the children started talking badly about Jews. According to them, Jews were the blame for everything. When they started saying that Jews are subhuman, I got mad. I told them that they were racist The children then responded that they did not want to talk to me.
I stormed into Hitler's office. He did not want to speak with me but that did not stop me. I told him that I knew about “the final solution” where he wanted to kill every Jew in the world. I thought this was wrong and evil and told him that Jews were just as good as any German people. They have been prosecuted and harassed all through history. What the world needed now was peace and people to have respect and tolerance. Hitler could make this happen and not be remembered as the most evil person in the world. Hitler got mad and called me a traitor. He even wondered if my Dad was secretly a jew. He told me to leave him alone until he figured out how he would punish me.
I did not sleep well that night. When would the magic book take me out of here? Would it rescue me again?
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