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當我對他說,「我愛你。」40Please respect copyright.PENANARCp14flVSc
他只是輕笑著,搖搖頭眼神認真的看著我這麼回答,「騙子。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAfSXI1fRRPz
水平線的兩端,我們大概就是那樣吧……40Please respect copyright.PENANA0HpgM2G7uh
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* * * * * * *40Please respect copyright.PENANAaWy05cIuLx
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35.701979, 139.50452640Please respect copyright.PENANAXkgm9Dkb8O
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陽光從窗戶透了進來,是很美好的角度及亮度。40Please respect copyright.PENANApdbuzME35r
就算背對著他也能夠感受到那股溫暖的暖意及舒適感。眼睛還是閉著,他才剛醒來介於有些迷糊不知自己是否還在入眠的迷茫感。40Please respect copyright.PENANA3HjpXquPrp
40Please respect copyright.PENANAys9ixr4Jvb
「唔嗯……」發出意味不明感到舒服的懶散聲。40Please respect copyright.PENANAhk3yIyekoz
40Please respect copyright.PENANAiEMFeAwZil
小堤將頭又往底下柔軟的恰到好處的枕頭上蹭了蹭,一副根本不想醒來的模樣。比剛才又更加清醒點、神經逐漸連接上,他才遲鈍的感覺到全身肌膚和床單毫無阻礙的輕柔觸感。40Please respect copyright.PENANAAsf2ufdL1X
這讓他感到一絲疑惑,慢慢的他感受到從腰部傳來的些許痠痛感。逐漸清醒的神智讓即使還閉著眼的他察覺到這裡不是自己的房間,身下的枕頭和蓋在身上的床單觸感也都不是過往習慣的……更叫他感到有些擔憂的是從自己面對的前方似乎有股暖度。40Please respect copyright.PENANAaldZotqdyk
屬於人類的溫暖。40Please respect copyright.PENANA7yARg8ZgNO
40Please respect copyright.PENANAFAjyQTwV3z
緩緩張開眼睛,眼前的景象讓他差點叫了出來。40Please respect copyright.PENANAZGWJirybIK
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「……!」40Please respect copyright.PENANAN12YagSFXB
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掩住嘴就怕把距離自己很近很近的人吵醒。40Please respect copyright.PENANAo9aJQVHoZs
小堤默默的觀察著,看來觸感頗好略偏白的肌膚,熟睡後抹去了不少在球場上時會展現出來的認真感,還有那份相隔多年不見的成熟。40Please respect copyright.PENANATWZHm1k1zW
對了~~他還有在球場上踢球嗎?40Please respect copyright.PENANAwMbTfaVHBb
那雙總是透視著他人,看事情看得相當透徹的眼此刻閉著,熟睡的模樣有種難以言喻的放鬆感。而看著他的人也是如此。40Please respect copyright.PENANAdzcRup8x3G
40Please respect copyright.PENANAT3mCMiNvRq
「涉澤……」喃喃的他念著他的名字。40Please respect copyright.PENANAN5LloTvH8d
40Please respect copyright.PENANA47sMToOlYi
中學的選拔隊過後他就沒再見過這個人,自己的能力勉強就只到那個頂點而已,那之後就……40Please respect copyright.PENANA0EANQkzgak
說真的,他對於涉澤的印象也只停留在球場上,而後他只是偶爾的略微聽到關於對方的一些消息,只知道沒多久涉澤就出國了至於去做什麼他不知道。40Please respect copyright.PENANAoF4pmyRMQE
不過,他又有什麼好知道的?當時的那些過往容納了好多好多的情感,錯綜複雜到讓當時的他無法明白,等到遲鈍的自己在許久之後終於略微的捕捉到關於那些混雜不堪的情緒中的起始後他開始害怕了起來。40Please respect copyright.PENANAZImeqw65vP
然後,他才頓然發現……自己喜歡上了涉澤。40Please respect copyright.PENANAWF2C5YrVnw
於是不停的努力拉開距離,很多時候自己的努力是徒勞無功,稍加一不小心他就會看涉澤看到著迷。他總是想這樣的自己真是可悲,那樣一個站在頂端的人是不會發現的。40Please respect copyright.PENANAQ5UvCVjG8B
40Please respect copyright.PENANAevL9PTy001
「糟糕。」輕輕說著,他縮了下肩膀查覺到從胸口傳來的股動聲響。40Please respect copyright.PENANAMm5L8OcsZ8
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原來,還是如此的有影響力嗎?40Please respect copyright.PENANAWfaMXSoj1j
回到現在的問題……昨天到底發生了什麼事,記憶斷在選拔隊的聚會上不太會拒絕的他被灌了幾杯酒這裡,他只記得鳴海搭著他的肩邊推他喝酒邊閒話家常,而後就……40Please respect copyright.PENANA2qcWIMz5EC
40Please respect copyright.PENANAeXFDm5wHMp
「真麻煩……怎麼偏偏是涉澤……」小堤輕嘆了口氣,不自覺得小聲碎唸著。40Please respect copyright.PENANAlmWEw2rKSb
40Please respect copyright.PENANABtY0hlvkvr
正在苦惱的他完全沒發現面對面熟睡的傢伙已經醒了,悄悄的張開眼帶著微笑觀察了好一陣子,涉澤看著表情變化不停的小堤最後忍不住出聲。40Please respect copyright.PENANAnhUaAxR9s3
40Please respect copyright.PENANASa4n021muB
「呵~你在想什麼。」涉澤看著聽到自己聲音回神,顯得有些嚇到而不自覺縮了下的小堤輕笑著,他想著即使過了這麼多年眼前的這個人還是會讓他輕易的想到怕生的小狗。40Please respect copyright.PENANAUR37mRoscQ
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相當的可愛。40Please respect copyright.PENANAi769u1A4KW
他一直都是這樣想。自然的伸出手,他想摸小堤的頭。卻被對方躲過往後退了些警戒的盯著。涉澤有些錯愕隨後苦笑了下,他們就只是靜靜的盯著彼此誰都沒說話。40Please respect copyright.PENANACRdNhP8YmP
40Please respect copyright.PENANAlSq2QBayrF
「對不起。」沉默了許久小堤最後低下頭小小聲的說了句,挪了挪身體將自己和涉澤的距離一點一點的拉開。40Please respect copyright.PENANAfH6iCUZBUL
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一點一點的……總是如此。40Please respect copyright.PENANA2xi8QAKbhF
涉澤苦笑著,他已經不想再這樣下去了,所以昨晚才會緊緊的抓住小堤不願意放手。40Please respect copyright.PENANA6bR0mEa5LZ
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<b>〝究竟要離自己多遠你才能真正微笑?〞</b>40Please respect copyright.PENANA6wGCLItdEs
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選拔隊時,15歲的自己和14歲的你。40Please respect copyright.PENANAqMUD4Bei1K
只有在自己沒看著時,在那張倔強的臉上才會看到真正的笑容……所以那時的自己……40Please respect copyright.PENANA00jvsNnjlE
40Please respect copyright.PENANA1KVr30gpni
「昨晚大概是喝醉了,造成你的麻煩真的很抱歉。」小堤客套生疏的這麼說。40Please respect copyright.PENANAoTRQh7JUSp
40Please respect copyright.PENANAQepAaTrrFE
隨後起身任由光裸的身體穿梭在空氣中,他打算下床去浴室沖個澡就要準備回家。40Please respect copyright.PENANAm3IRTIqOue
他堅信……也說服自己昨晚什麼都沒發生,只是自己喝醉酒涉澤幫自己清理的關係才會一絲不掛的連內褲都在地上,當然這種事根本就只是欺騙自己而已。40Please respect copyright.PENANAIOocqm3GWy
小堤 健太郎也明白,但他得假裝是這樣才行……40Please respect copyright.PENANAqJmb0YzAhu
40Please respect copyright.PENANAgoCTWABflx
「……」涉澤沉默的維持著原姿勢躺在床上,眼默默的隨著對方起身撿拾衣物的身影移動,背對著的小堤沒發現對方此刻臉上的神情是多麼的落寞。40Please respect copyright.PENANAR8FBRlDen1
40Please respect copyright.PENANA28l0DGj6cD
涉澤半起身眼神流轉著而後開口了,帶了些賭氣類似小孩子鬧脾氣撒嬌的語氣說:「可是你昨天不停說著〝你愛我〞而且緊緊的回抱著我。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAAv6DqNBTQz
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他沒有騙他……40Please respect copyright.PENANARVUB9J61kt
昨晚開著車本來打算送小堤回家,他才發現自己對於小堤是多麼的不了解,不知道對方的住所在哪。當時靠過去原本是想搖醒人詢問一下。40Please respect copyright.PENANApoGEv2B1Fo
但才湊過身去他就忍不住想親吻上那雙唇,只要吻一下就好了……但卻愈來愈捨不得離開……40Please respect copyright.PENANA6AfMKHHLoc
而後小堤回應了。不論是行動上還是言語上,他確實的告訴自己那樣隱藏著的真實情感。40Please respect copyright.PENANADxkXWPEV8d
那才是讓他再也克制不了的主因……他真的真的只是想再稍微碰觸一下而已。40Please respect copyright.PENANApqvL8e3qDL
40Please respect copyright.PENANAAx5PF8w8eE
「……我想,可能我是認錯人了。對不起。」將衣服撿起的背影頓了一下這麼回答。40Please respect copyright.PENANAf7x6U5IqlP
40Please respect copyright.PENANAzRyDtIEArM
而後小堤匆匆的繞過床,走入位在涉澤這一側斜後方的浴室,像是要逃避著什麼般的快速。40Please respect copyright.PENANAD7Mf2bqja4
涉澤只是沉默的坐起身看著這樣的小堤,而後在浴室門關上傳來嘩啦嘩啦的沖水聲後才嘆了口氣下床,撿起散落在床邊屬於自己的那些衣物。40Please respect copyright.PENANAxTDUyX5Hav
已經不用沖澡了,在昨晚不停歇的做愛後他是清洗完畢後才回床上入眠的。40Please respect copyright.PENANABOI5w2wIQ0
40Please respect copyright.PENANA93B0HkBlvB
「得送人回去才行。」穿妥衣服的涉澤將窗簾拉開,認真的看著遠方的景色。40Please respect copyright.PENANAK69gBfg1k6
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這間飯店位在山區中,距離能搭交通工具的地方有些遠。40Please respect copyright.PENANATtJEC3iSTu
他想等會小堤肯定會抗拒,但只有這點他不能退讓……當然更多的是涉澤克朗還是有些私心,他不打算和十多年前一樣什麼都沒說沒做就放棄。40Please respect copyright.PENANA9nn2kZSFKc
至少,這十多年來小堤健太郎這個人總是讓他忘不掉。40Please respect copyright.PENANAbgKHNX580M
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〝咖擦〞40Please respect copyright.PENANAfgXwNjhZfB
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浴室的門打開,小堤走出來。40Please respect copyright.PENANASu8klvRfyy
一臉淡然的擦著濕濕的頭髮,那樣的神情涉澤解讀為對方打算無視自己、無視昨晚發生的一切、無視過往在選拔隊的那些……也順道否定小堤自身的想法和心情。40Please respect copyright.PENANAmXhHX41e1A
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「等一下我送你回去。」涉澤走到小堤身旁,拿起對方正在擦頭的毛巾幫他擦拭著。40Please respect copyright.PENANAtJmDK4fr8q
40Please respect copyright.PENANAyYiNYDqiGG
用著不容抗拒的語氣這麼說,也用著不允許小堤反抗的氣勢替人擦著頭髮,隨後拿起吹風機自顧自幫小堤吹起頭髮。40Please respect copyright.PENANA28v9gwQiYt
40Please respect copyright.PENANAQQQav76pZP
「為什麼……」小堤從鏡中看著低著頭認真而溫柔幫自己梳理溽濕的髮的涉澤喃喃自語著。40Please respect copyright.PENANAsfsSctK7Tj
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為什麼到現在還要對自己這麼溫柔?40Please respect copyright.PENANAQvDS4r0Iqn
為什麼你要距離這麼遠?40Please respect copyright.PENANAUdXhaMFEkI
為什麼我要這麼沒用?40Please respect copyright.PENANAnNfpufze5J
為什麼……不就這樣再也不要見到面,那樣的話就好了啊……40Please respect copyright.PENANA8loqu3XIKk
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小堤低下頭緊抿著唇忍耐著。40Please respect copyright.PENANAzC4rnVlxMD
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「……」涉澤安靜的看著小堤的一切反應,和那隻放置在膝上緊緊握成拳的手。40Please respect copyright.PENANAzMFhik9Ras
40Please respect copyright.PENANAf7ap6Uw7ea
吹風機烘烘烘的聲音在房間內散漫開來,陽光切成好看的線條和角度撒了進來,但他們之間還是安靜到像是彼此並不存在在同一個空間中一樣。40Please respect copyright.PENANAIUd5WiGy04
無聲的疼痛和哭泣大抵上就是如此吧。40Please respect copyright.PENANAKzJETPuj3P
久了也就麻木到毫無感覺了。40Please respect copyright.PENANAkD4FTgBkYX
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〝喀擦〞40Please respect copyright.PENANA9JTtX9Hg8p
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坐上副駕駛座,小堤扣上安全帶,一臉彆扭的神情不想面對坐在隔壁正在發動車子的涉澤。40Please respect copyright.PENANAvOzIcQfCJB
好看的細長手指拿著車鑰匙隨後發動車子,這是台日本國產品牌的車子。偏淺、亮銀色的架高車體,車內的空間相當的寬敞。40Please respect copyright.PENANAMklzNn8DkX
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『果然是涉澤的車。』40Please respect copyright.PENANAktH7emXNPP
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這是小堤看到車的第一個想法,高大、優雅、從容的氣勢,卻也溫和沉穩。40Please respect copyright.PENANA5qNnA0FaqN
〝嗶嗶嗶〞的聲響不停的傳來,小堤心不在焉的看著涉澤的手指在面板上輕觸著,他記得這雙手。40Please respect copyright.PENANAIWgevuZveZ
視線飄移到窗外,看著燦爛鮮明的綠葉他回想到好久好久以前的春天……40Please respect copyright.PENANAbIwy0LJHQM
40Please respect copyright.PENANAQslMSj8tSm
『你沒辦法走吧。』涉澤穿著選拔隊的制服站在東京選拔隊練習的宿舍前方,雙手插在口袋中笑笑的看著一手拿著行李有些吃力的小堤。40Please respect copyright.PENANApThQoylkHV
40Please respect copyright.PENANATyD5wkViFM
雖說是春天但依舊還是有些寒冷。40Please respect copyright.PENANA07RTvMWWhQ
小堤不太想理涉澤,艱辛的拿著有些重的行李打算走過對方身邊。但在走過涉澤身旁時那隻手被用力的握住,而後有些重量的運動包被對方給背在身上。40Please respect copyright.PENANANnjLm2yE8r
40Please respect copyright.PENANAnEKiHSsBsk
『我送你吧。』這麼說著涉澤完全不等他開口抗議逕自帶著他走向大門。40Please respect copyright.PENANAbeoNLumxDi
40Please respect copyright.PENANAtu1q9NVKod
那隻有些粗糙的大手的觸感直到如今他都還記得,眷戀、溫柔、溫暖……他們走在清晨一個人都沒有的櫻花步道上,誰都沒說話就只是走著。40Please respect copyright.PENANAEcXSv4LRVG
接過涉澤遞過來的包包,他不打算說些什麼,所有的一切就這樣結束也好。40Please respect copyright.PENANAnJIVe4tB1O
對他們都好,從自卑和羨慕中所產生的情感或許只是錯覺。之後他就會遺忘這一切。40Please respect copyright.PENANAOJAQRh77Vq
40Please respect copyright.PENANAF0rOZVHDOm
『再見……我會等你的。』輕聲這麼說著,後面的那句涉澤在猶豫了一下後補上。40Please respect copyright.PENANAGSQFLi1Gpq
40Please respect copyright.PENANAnAU6Fu0n68
小堤不打算回話,默默的點頭準備離去。40Please respect copyright.PENANAAB9t7bik0b
在那一秒他被拉回,一個很輕很柔的吻點綴在額頭上。而後就是真的再見了,他一直覺得那就是他們最後的交集……40Please respect copyright.PENANAJVUFJWAouq
40Please respect copyright.PENANASkgfjOgzD4
「小堤、小堤?」涉澤抓著他的肩膀呼喚了好幾聲。40Please respect copyright.PENANABAWTRnVDAg
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疑惑的看著在面前靠自己靠得很近的涉澤的臉,和十多年前相比涉澤的變化並不多依舊是如此的熟悉和溫柔,而後他終於回神不自在的推開涉澤的手。40Please respect copyright.PENANACPImGxPfrm
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「幹嘛?」頭撇向一旁他回答。40Please respect copyright.PENANAmTOJCypNKQ
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「你家在哪?給我住址吧,需要查詢一下路線。」涉澤漫不經心的隨意說著,手指繼續點著面版。問話的口吻像是日常般的自然。40Please respect copyright.PENANAdRPYnCTNGI
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「……」小堤單手撐著下巴,有些猶豫是否要告訴涉澤。40Please respect copyright.PENANA9ILgiS2uMc
40Please respect copyright.PENANAcvCWmXf6JN
雖然乍看之下只是因為要送自己回家而問的,但他不確定這樣再次和涉澤產生交集是否是好事。知道了住址、交換了手機號碼就意味著分離的線只要有意就能夠再次連繫在一起,那樣他過去的努力不就白費了?40Please respect copyright.PENANAqhTmneRYMS
可是……要說他不想也不是完全不是就是了……40Please respect copyright.PENANA1e3yOnOiWi
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「小堤?」涉澤詢問的聲音再次傳來。40Please respect copyright.PENANAQ3StLeqNAU
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緊握了一下手,抿著唇。40Please respect copyright.PENANA81gLoFVGzl
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「小金井市本町5丁目4−29……」一個字一個字小聲的念了出來。40Please respect copyright.PENANAxHkJJJFuWq
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他沒說出那棟大樓的第幾層,因為這沒必要,只是送人回去就走而且不會再連絡的話沒必要知道那麼多。40Please respect copyright.PENANAZ3XJglb7qq
40Please respect copyright.PENANARUWPvyR56V
「好~」電子的嗶嗶嗶聲再度傳來,涉澤語氣沉穩的回應著將那串地址輸入進GPS中。40Please respect copyright.PENANAa8bbeTgGoM
40Please respect copyright.PENANAZrj0Nzsubx
卻也偷偷的記下了這個地址,小堤現在所住的地方和自己家所在的武藏野市緊鄰,這讓涉澤不自覺得唇角微微上揚。40Please respect copyright.PENANAvMfTDZqgTb
有些事那時的自己不懂,拉到現在也不算全懂。40Please respect copyright.PENANAnVbEfWV5NP
但是……放棄的話就未免太可惜了吧。40Please respect copyright.PENANAYWMFvzMY3q
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「走吧~」涉澤踩下油門轉動起方向盤,MAZDA的車沉穩的運作上了路。40Please respect copyright.PENANAFWinFMyGna
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不知道是涉澤開車的關係還是這部車的性能好,小堤覺得坐在這輛車中讓人感到安心,不會有緊急煞車或是感到緊張的感覺,在此同時他也有升起些小小的自我厭惡。40Please respect copyright.PENANAeckcxdjUjh
討厭卻又信任?這麼多年了還是這樣。感覺自己全然的毫無成長。40Please respect copyright.PENANA7k2pgNmcvA
40Please respect copyright.PENANA7oN2aLjThE
「會肚子餓吧,你剛才早餐都沒什麼吃。」涉澤轉了圈方向盤看著前方的馬路思考著,在看到街角的麥當勞後眼睛亮了下,毫不考慮的開了過去。40Please respect copyright.PENANAYT9JtgRQQz
40Please respect copyright.PENANA5cOAao0t5w
小堤知道涉澤這個神情的意思,就和在場上指揮調度時相同。40Please respect copyright.PENANAVQvudS6Zab
有著不容反駁的意思,他知道這時的涉澤的安排是適度的也是好的,但是……就是……就是一股不甘願油然而生。40Please respect copyright.PENANAidRiy8WS9C
小堤的手不自覺得緊握著,唇用力的抿著。40Please respect copyright.PENANAJKqP6i47bL
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「……只是早餐而已,對我放鬆些戒心吧。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAI9IilP4TUs
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一聲嘆息後,是涉澤無奈的回話。40Please respect copyright.PENANAeucjMnIXBI
忍不住的偷偷的往旁邊向上撇了眼,他只看到涉澤專注的駛近速食店的臨時停車位。而後響起安全帶鬆開的聲響。40Please respect copyright.PENANAd6LdkTruFy
40Please respect copyright.PENANAHBu9YokI9t
「我記得你沒有不吃的東西,那就隨我買囉。」涉澤淡笑著開了車門,離去前又回頭說了一句。「速食店沒賣味噌湯,真是可惜呀~」40Please respect copyright.PENANAcilIZGt0wI
40Please respect copyright.PENANAb9DX49h0bI
小堤從頭到尾維持著直視著擋風玻璃外的風景,略微的低著頭的姿勢。40Please respect copyright.PENANAKFNvyI83fI
對於涉澤所說的像是完全沒聽到般。空白在兩人之間周旋了幾秒,在涉澤一聲〝我等下就回來。〞和關車門及從外頭以遙控器按下鎖門鍵的聲響才終於結束。40Please respect copyright.PENANA5TbkRHt873
40Please respect copyright.PENANAfN51mLuXxl
「什麼味噌湯啊……連這種事都記得是要幹嘛……」小堤在人走遠後,仿如抱怨般的抬頭看著窗外的藍天小聲低咕著。40Please respect copyright.PENANAsGtDvhxyUa
40Please respect copyright.PENANABYf7WA8TFM
味噌湯是他最喜歡的食物。40Please respect copyright.PENANAaPwydYHcUk
選拔隊那年其實他也沒特別跟誰說過,頂多就是吃飯時會多拿一碗而已……40Please respect copyright.PENANABOwWMRqGvF
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「啊!」40Please respect copyright.PENANAgjrPcoPJnC
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想起了些當年的瑣碎片段,小堤健太郎頓時睜大了眼小小聲的驚呼了下。40Please respect copyright.PENANApCQ3d5qwfJ
40Please respect copyright.PENANAE19V9CQbke
『幹嘛?』喝完放到最後的味噌湯後,小堤呆然的看著坐在自己對面的涉澤。40Please respect copyright.PENANA7JRiEKdBgc
40Please respect copyright.PENANAdeAcuwiVfI
在他面前的是從涉澤的餐盤中遞過來的熱騰騰的湯,那隻寬闊的手掌正準備收回。他抬頭疑惑的詢問眼前這個高大的勁敵。敵人,他自己是這樣認知的。40Please respect copyright.PENANAhCEly0jiFk
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『給你喝吧~難得今天的湯是味增湯,你很喜歡不是嗎?』涉澤淡淡的笑著,那樣的笑容真誠、溫暖及溫柔,小堤是知道的但就是無法坦率的直視。40Please respect copyright.PENANAGkED7MtI1f
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眼神飄移著,正打算堅定的開口婉拒時,涉澤放下筷子雙手合十。40Please respect copyright.PENANAxhXurQJqnV
40Please respect copyright.PENANAiOyvsI6GHG
『我吃飽了。』涉澤說完,站起身端起餐盤笑著回頭對小堤說,『我先走了,慢慢吃。下午的練習也不輕鬆呢~』40Please respect copyright.PENANAd9led6Q85m
40Please respect copyright.PENANAKZS3mLPEuG
『啊……嗯……』完全沒機會說些別的,小堤只能默默的點點頭算是回應涉澤的話語。40Please respect copyright.PENANAqA3cm3QUSW
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在人走後他凝視著面前那碗還冒著煙。40Please respect copyright.PENANAplqOEiKeoc
看起來分明就是涉澤用餐完畢後才離開座位又去拿的,小堤想到自己會如此喜歡這道料理是因為味噌湯總能讓他想到小學時就去世的媽媽。40Please respect copyright.PENANA0a9Ocdy14R
喝著味增湯時,他仿佛能夠看到在深處記憶中久遠以前那個圍著圍裙的溫柔身影,站在瓦斯爐前試著味道,然後再發現他到家時會回頭溫柔笑著對自己說聲〝回來啦~〞40Please respect copyright.PENANAWccaf9ZThp
那樣的神情……和涉澤的笑容重疊在一起。40Please respect copyright.PENANAgx54NYBXwX
那樣的溫柔和溫暖好像……是一樣的……40Please respect copyright.PENANAtnK4xTLfCC
40Please respect copyright.PENANApjcrcd68aI
「小堤?你怎麼一直恍神。」涉澤的淡笑再次展現在眼前,這次帶了些無奈和好笑的氛圍在。40Please respect copyright.PENANA6HNLphzO8D
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他能夠清楚辨別涉澤的表情和笑所代表的意思。40Please respect copyright.PENANAKcSZ6HiF2y
不知道為什麼……他就是知道,不是特別想懂也不是詢問過。但他就是能夠了解涉澤所想和所表達的,或許那能夠說是種默契也不一定。40Please respect copyright.PENANA05sCMlgm4r
以前也總是如此,正因為這樣他才更加感到厭惡。40Please respect copyright.PENANAwf8qGMBBfP
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「……沒什麼。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAJLQaCtmxx1
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轉頭,看向窗外。40Please respect copyright.PENANAWhheXR9qGk
小堤冷淡的回答涉澤的問題,這樣的碰釘子也只是讓涉澤聳聳肩沒多說什麼。他坐上駕駛座將手中那袋熱騰騰的食物遞給對方。40Please respect copyright.PENANAM5gdl62TjN
小堤沒有拒絕,順勢的接了過去,而後他扣上安全帶發動車子,準備繼續上路。40Please respect copyright.PENANAKwClsGd7IE
一旁斷斷續續的傳來紙袋摩擦的聲響。這讓涉澤再度的淡笑了,轉著方向盤他邊想著就像現在這樣,身邊有個人真的很好。而且這個人還得是他想念了很久的人才行。40Please respect copyright.PENANAWkttrL6mhB
40Please respect copyright.PENANAP3Ke9IHLtC
「一個熱狗堡、一份鬆餅、生菜沙拉和牛奶?」一旁傳來小堤語調上揚的誇張詢問聲,涉澤一轉頭就看到那張臉皺著眉一副不悅的樣子,「不覺得這樣太多了。」40Please respect copyright.PENANA4UIilqur5s
40Please respect copyright.PENANAeK1sTtHe32
「呵~我倒覺得這樣剛好,熱量和營養都足夠了,我想你還是有維持運動的習慣吧。線條和體態都保持的不錯。」涉澤輕笑著,這讓他回想起在選拔隊時偶爾和小堤為數不多的小小互動。40Please respect copyright.PENANAVRvOupsm0r
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那每一次的互動和言語交談,都讓他印象深刻。40Please respect copyright.PENANAQPS9cwKIHt
他們在很多部分想法有著些微的差異,慣於照顧人的他對於關注許久的對象自然更是管的更多,這惹得小堤有時會牢騷般的反彈,只是基於涉澤的要求是有理的,到最後小堤總是默默的接受。40Please respect copyright.PENANAJ6BvutcZcI
他喜歡看扁著嘴有所不甘的對方,邊發著牢騷小聲碎念邊執行著自己的要求的樣子。40Please respect copyright.PENANAkXhdqIY6ZG
那讓他感到自己被這個人所包容和接納,即使有些小不滿也能接受。大概是從那時起他就多了些惡質的惡趣味了吧。以他的方式捉弄著小堤。40Please respect copyright.PENANA9FJQspALHn
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「唔……」被涉澤的話語給堵住,小堤呆愣了下而後紅了臉。40Please respect copyright.PENANAAClw73Fyuc
40Please respect copyright.PENANAobJ2S5iy1M
涉澤的出發點本意並沒有要再提醒對方昨晚的事,但既然小堤自己都往那方面想了,他順勢調侃一下應該也不為過吧。40Please respect copyright.PENANASUVz6FrYoN
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<b>〝自己還真是惡質啊~〞</b>40Please respect copyright.PENANAQVt0th7CLD
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這麼想著的同時,他往旁傾下輕輕的親吻了下小堤的臉頰。40Please respect copyright.PENANAXtOzOUbGSk
這種舉動可得趁著人還沒回神時做才行,但他在內心中默默告訴自己,這只是現在得這樣而已,未來還很難說不是嗎?他一定會將身旁的這個人牢牢的緊握住的。一定會!40Please respect copyright.PENANA8jf2TzxnKR
40Please respect copyright.PENANAx9wpXWCisq
「觸感也很好呢~」他在他耳邊輕輕的這麼說,帶著幾分的愉悅成份在。40Please respect copyright.PENANAi0XFV4xGwr
40Please respect copyright.PENANAhTqa7BvGDD
說完回到自己的座位,裝沒事的繼續開著車。40Please respect copyright.PENANAmMisCXjytf
一副和往常相同的沉穩狀態,回過神的小堤原先微紅的臉更紅了,他憤憤的咬著吸管喝著牛奶斜瞪著裝沒事的傢伙。40Please respect copyright.PENANAGDyMelgqIY
但完全不打算回話,他早就知道了!知道跟涉澤太過認真的去回應只會落得更加難堪的下場。(雖然通常覺得難堪的只有他自己就是了~大家可不這樣想。)40Please respect copyright.PENANA2uXjkkisU4
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「從這裡回到你家還需要點時間,如果吃完早餐累了的話先睡一下,到了我會叫你的。」涉澤沉穩的聲音傳來。40Please respect copyright.PENANARTGOiXknjl
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小堤嘴巴塞得滿滿的,無法回話也不打算回答。40Please respect copyright.PENANAELswf4I0AU
只是臉頰鼓著持續咬著食物,頭點了點當作回應。在那之後一路上的車程相當的寧靜,涉澤將兩邊窗戶略微的降下,他們駛在距離市區有段距離的鄉間小路之間,迎面而來的空氣清新而好聞,盈滿著大自然植物的草香。40Please respect copyright.PENANAvq6a8kB1F8
放鬆的感覺讓吃完這頓豐盛早餐的小堤不自覺得瞇起了眼。40Please respect copyright.PENANA8czwnLgzUV
40Please respect copyright.PENANAUek4Qu4hm2
「睡一下吧。」涉澤好聽的聲音放低了音量,也柔軟了許多。他對小堤這麼說,厚實溫暖的大手撫上小堤的頭揉了揉。40Please respect copyright.PENANAN7QCUboXTT
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「嗯……」40Please respect copyright.PENANAngFYQTZ3Fj
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沒有抗拒,小堤只是蹭了蹭涉澤觸碰著自己的手。40Please respect copyright.PENANAPi4LUCEhTN
迷迷糊糊的輕輕的回了個發語音表示自己要睡一下,翻了個身靠著車窗的窗沿,沒多久就傳來了均勻的呼吸聲。40Please respect copyright.PENANA8wBttk0D08
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正在開車的涉澤分神偷偷撇了眼。40Please respect copyright.PENANAjT0j5jcbyu
而後輕笑著,有種輕盈悄悄的溫暖幸福感慢慢的包裹上周身,他感到十分的安穩及平靜。40Please respect copyright.PENANAxPAWiB1vi6
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「你能在身邊真是太好了。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAMxGaLi6JXX
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在人熟睡後,涉澤偷偷的在田野小路上停下車,凝視著小堤的睡顏許久後輕輕的親吻了下對方的唇。40Please respect copyright.PENANAgBSgIaVPyl
以不著痕跡、不吵醒小堤的方式吻上。40Please respect copyright.PENANAAm9xDJZyCT
然後,悄悄的回到原位,雙手握著方向盤涉澤向前傾了些,抬起頭看著擋風玻璃外的大片藍色天空。用力的呼了口氣,他扯起少許感到安心的淡笑,隨後轉動鑰匙再度發動車子。40Please respect copyright.PENANAeJnIqIUV3Z
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好亮……40Please respect copyright.PENANA3ljodVJ4Z2
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一整片的亮度,絢爛而盲目刺眼,但他又在其中看到好多好多。40Please respect copyright.PENANALxGeOFLehn
像是那年選拔隊的許多片段、韓國那戰的身心煎熬,一下子的跳躍到媽媽的笑容、病床刺眼的白,跟家中溫暖的色調、媽媽還健康時替自己帶的便當菜色……40Please respect copyright.PENANAgspARpOq33
40Please respect copyright.PENANABB2CvVTuR1
夢境中那個幸福的三人家庭離自己愈來愈遠,只差一步就能夠觸碰到距離就這樣直接被黑色劃開。40Please respect copyright.PENANArglM16FX5V
不安。40Please respect copyright.PENANACU8zZxY2Lq
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〝如果可以的話,能不能夠不要分開?〞40Please respect copyright.PENANA0rDTXUgvhk
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他很堅強也很努力,和爸爸彼此照顧著彼此。40Please respect copyright.PENANAeH89T3F50v
長大而後獨立生活,將自己照顧得很好,但是……其實他一直都希望著這份寂寞能夠得到釋放。40Please respect copyright.PENANASfIMFMW6Zv
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不安的黑,碎裂了。40Please respect copyright.PENANA8VpkHuKJfE
取而代之的是溫和的光和暖度。和最初那過亮的亮度很不同,讓人感到安心而可靠……40Please respect copyright.PENANAXQ4pHZuL27
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「怎麼會睡得這麼不好。」涉澤趁著等紅燈的空檔,手輕柔的推開小堤緊皺著的眉頭。40Please respect copyright.PENANASDH2WYZIgE
40Please respect copyright.PENANAKOL41ocFwk
在感受到涉澤手的暖度後,那些不安的痕跡隨即消散。40Please respect copyright.PENANADle06zlOyV
大手安撫般的摸了摸小堤的頭。40Please respect copyright.PENANA7PiP7AmVOD
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「嗚……嗯……」發出些毫無意義的單音,熟睡中的傢伙整個轉過身來面對著涉澤繼續入眠。只是這次似乎終於安穩了不少。40Please respect copyright.PENANAcascf9wT4e
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〝怦通、怦通~〞40Please respect copyright.PENANAuABcHwjOFY
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「……啊啊……真是的。」愣了下,涉澤才回過神意識到左胸口的跳動他苦笑了下,收回觸碰小堤的手撐住自己的額頭。40Please respect copyright.PENANAMxS4nrS4iE
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有種喜歡,是毫無自覺得。40Please respect copyright.PENANA6ocnF9gl4z
等到他發現時目光早已不自覺得直視著對方,總是能夠看到失神而不自知。40Please respect copyright.PENANApka7TZLFob
像個情竇初開的少年,在那確實處於少年時期的時候蔓延而上的喜歡。他記得他那時的很多事,喜歡的食物、練習的姿勢和小習慣、喝水的樣子……他總是默默的看著。40Please respect copyright.PENANAbsSbCnIjro
以任何人都毫無發覺的從容姿態觀察著小堤,享受著能夠好好看著人的時刻,貪婪的看著。40Please respect copyright.PENANAj8Bl0iEBpd
仿佛只要將這一切牢記著就足夠了。40Please respect copyright.PENANAwfFH00JI9T
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「但很顯然我想那是不夠吧。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAAmjWjS8N1h
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在綠燈亮起的瞬間,涉澤聳聳肩重新掌握住方向盤。40Please respect copyright.PENANAwNzHgO9y8O
14年的時間,他從足球界的至寶閃耀的新星,轉為穩固可靠有經驗的選手,簽約到西甲攝取更多國際經驗,然後在巔峰時期一個表現亮眼的球季和四年一度的世界盃結束後的那年宣布退休。40Please respect copyright.PENANADt1mJzfdOb
退休後,在逐一的安排和歷史悠久的涉澤家背景下,他得已享有和普通人相同的寧靜生活。40Please respect copyright.PENANA7DqLCiVIPX
退休的那年,他低調的回國短暫幾天就又飛往事前早就安排好的行程,前往義大利學習餐點的製作,這一切是早就想好且有規劃的在進行。40Please respect copyright.PENANAQHt6ABUVaw
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「而這14年你又過得如何?」涉澤轉頭輕聲的詢問著。40Please respect copyright.PENANAizyzdtwD1j
40Please respect copyright.PENANA0KYN7YWED6
他只知道,小堤在選拔隊那年後縱然還是持續著踢球。40Please respect copyright.PENANAOxkZl7eCb1
但似乎只有在高中時還勉勉強強入選了選拔隊參與國家的培訓,但跟他所處的訓練地不同因此沒有實際在同一隊中同訓,等到他上大學的那年……就再也沒在和足球相關的地方見到這個人。40Please respect copyright.PENANAip4WRHI5D0
而自己除了學業和球隊的忙碌,也多了份顧忌。他並沒有忘記小堤對於自己的敵對意識,出於並不想因為自己的關係而讓對方困擾、感到壓力,當時的他認為就這樣結束也好。40Please respect copyright.PENANAqOaZEg32sl
只是……就算在國外他也還是想念著那樣堅毅的身影。40Please respect copyright.PENANAPnrsxB3D3E
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〝如果,當時緊緊的握住就好了。〞40Please respect copyright.PENANAa9M8CtpuP5
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不止一次,他的腦海裡總是這樣想著。40Please respect copyright.PENANAKZ6TQyA3tM
嚐到好吃的食物,看到美麗的風景,做了好吃的甜點……不論是什麼樣大大小小的事,就算是瑣事也好,他好想好想和那個人分享。40Please respect copyright.PENANAdiLJyi12du
在義大利,他住的房子晚上能夠看到很漂亮的星空。40Please respect copyright.PENANAq6La2toMXY
他總是仰躺在落地窗前看著,想著〝能讓小堤看看該有多好〞這些無關緊要的蠢念頭。就連養了多年的貓咪―橘子踩過他胸口窩在那時他也沒發覺。40Please respect copyright.PENANASFpYl24lFd
空閒時,他一晚可以躺在那看好幾個小時的星星……和想小堤。40Please respect copyright.PENANAAJzpEQtclv
40Please respect copyright.PENANAXV0ZNAATxu
「如果……未來有天能帶你去的話……就好了。」涉澤呢喃著用不確定的膽怯口吻這麼說著。40Please respect copyright.PENANAC07QjVzS71
40Please respect copyright.PENANA1eH6OoIU6G
車子駛過幾個路口,從車站附近的熱鬧逐漸轉為寧靜。40Please respect copyright.PENANAnjnr9zGskS
進入巷子後,隨意就能夠看到充斥著綠葉的小型公園,照著導航系統和天生的方向感,涉澤拐了幾個彎後停在一棟看來頗新的大樓附近。40Please respect copyright.PENANAxjy3cJrd9i
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「……」40Please respect copyright.PENANAlJk7vJZ4QN
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涉澤沉默著,注視著副駕駛座上面對著自己側躺熟睡的小堤。40Please respect copyright.PENANAfttqckKdwM
和剛入眠一小段時間後的不安表情不同,現在小堤臉上的神情顯得放鬆而安穩。窗外的鳥鳴聲讓人有種悠閒的感覺。假日的早上街道沒什麼人更加彰顯這樣的悠哉。40Please respect copyright.PENANA9strn0TM3Q
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「小堤,醒醒。到家囉~」涉澤用著連自己的沒發覺的柔和語氣和表情呼喚著。40Please respect copyright.PENANAQbiNzd2Tjz
40Please respect copyright.PENANAmJVNvSu7Vr
在幾聲掙扎般的夢囈呢喃後,小堤終於張開睡眼惺忪的眼。40Please respect copyright.PENANAbIBWZV9keR
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「嗯……涉澤……?」40Please respect copyright.PENANATmDO0nZIQF
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他看到那雙眼迷茫的注視著自己,隨後視線逐漸聚焦。40Please respect copyright.PENANAUSyhub7Wcx
初醒時帶著疑惑輕喊著自己名的聲音,在涉澤的內心中產生了些波動。忍不住得他再度傾下身,猶豫了下後只是輕輕的吻過小堤的臉頰。40Please respect copyright.PENANAeIlpfZ0cDi
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「再見。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAR6x70oLBb0
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在對方出聲抗議前,他湊在他耳邊輕聲的說。40Please respect copyright.PENANAsWYwpcXOzk
坐回原位後只是安靜的等待著小堤的離去,空白的數秒他感受得到小堤的視線和想說些什麼但最後化為和自己說的相同的兩個字。40Please respect copyright.PENANAhgHiTfRX41
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「再見。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAh6c7eB9RPV
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〝咖〞40Please respect copyright.PENANAFRiHQEEPqR
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車門開啟的聲響和紙袋摩擦的聲音,最後是關上車門的單音。40Please respect copyright.PENANAmQBbadK8Tj
視線稍稍向一旁撇去,麥當勞的紙袋被小堤順手帶走了。40Please respect copyright.PENANACJkS4Iunr3
40Please respect copyright.PENANAX1zeYpd5xo
「總是不願意麻煩他人,是嗎?」40Please respect copyright.PENANAcipbZa3eCG
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撫上唇,涉澤回味著。40Please respect copyright.PENANAVTuBQa8jLG
那些吻和過往的無數回憶,沉重……沉重到難以言喻。正是因為如此,在剛才他的決意破碎了一小塊。40Please respect copyright.PENANAi4LlS0d8BX
其實,他是個膽小鬼。40Please respect copyright.PENANAYU4XmymjhP
以致於剛才率先道別的是自己。40Please respect copyright.PENANAVEthmJpJUF
40Please respect copyright.PENANAgJYRcnulNE
〝真的要再次試圖接近嗎?〞40Please respect copyright.PENANAbHHS9Ubb5x
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疼痛纏繞。40Please respect copyright.PENANAkLrBzlVaQk
他壓著額頭在駕駛座上低下身,那是一種心感到痛的具象化。不論要不要放棄他都感到不知所措,他想要更加靠近小堤卻又擔憂著被厭惡……40Please respect copyright.PENANAsiGfI7irtQ
下意識的按下車窗鍵,讓靠在自己這邊的車窗逐漸的往下降。40Please respect copyright.PENANAobRjAleXRS
略微的,眼轉向那棟大樓。40Please respect copyright.PENANAycYAqdafvX
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「呵~」40Please respect copyright.PENANAug20lw8xx2
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趴在方向盤上的涉澤,看到剛睡醒頭髮翹了幾根,慌亂的拿著外套又急急忙忙接起手機的小堤。大樓前方種的櫻花樹散漫下陣陣的櫻花花瓣。40Please respect copyright.PENANAsmUwZLeNRC
不知道和電話那頭在說些什麼,一下子大笑、一下子困窘似乎在和對方說抱歉,很多很多的表情。步入大樓前小堤慌張的邊走邊拿出行事曆把行程寫下,最後進入大樓中看不到了。40Please respect copyright.PENANAjvGrk2KCPD
依舊趴在方向盤上,涉澤的視線還是直望著大樓前的那塊平台。40Please respect copyright.PENANAa201VRJmhN
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「不痛了。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAnGd3U5DzK6
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摸著左胸口,他呆然的看著那棵櫻花樹。40Please respect copyright.PENANAtawwhA0x4o
片片的櫻花隨風飄舞,是櫻花雨呢~如果還能夠再見面就好了,不是嗎?40Please respect copyright.PENANAGO3ulB4tQT
十多年的心願和現在的重疊在一起了。40Please respect copyright.PENANAzE249tj5yT
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ns 15.158.61.8da2 他只是輕笑著,搖搖頭眼神認真的看著我這麼回答,「騙子。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAfSXI1fRRPz
水平線的兩端,我們大概就是那樣吧……40Please respect copyright.PENANA0HpgM2G7uh
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* * * * * * *40Please respect copyright.PENANAaWy05cIuLx
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35.701979, 139.50452640Please respect copyright.PENANAXkgm9Dkb8O
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陽光從窗戶透了進來,是很美好的角度及亮度。40Please respect copyright.PENANApdbuzME35r
就算背對著他也能夠感受到那股溫暖的暖意及舒適感。眼睛還是閉著,他才剛醒來介於有些迷糊不知自己是否還在入眠的迷茫感。40Please respect copyright.PENANA3HjpXquPrp
40Please respect copyright.PENANAys9ixr4Jvb
「唔嗯……」發出意味不明感到舒服的懶散聲。40Please respect copyright.PENANAhk3yIyekoz
40Please respect copyright.PENANAiEMFeAwZil
小堤將頭又往底下柔軟的恰到好處的枕頭上蹭了蹭,一副根本不想醒來的模樣。比剛才又更加清醒點、神經逐漸連接上,他才遲鈍的感覺到全身肌膚和床單毫無阻礙的輕柔觸感。40Please respect copyright.PENANAAsf2ufdL1X
這讓他感到一絲疑惑,慢慢的他感受到從腰部傳來的些許痠痛感。逐漸清醒的神智讓即使還閉著眼的他察覺到這裡不是自己的房間,身下的枕頭和蓋在身上的床單觸感也都不是過往習慣的……更叫他感到有些擔憂的是從自己面對的前方似乎有股暖度。40Please respect copyright.PENANAaldZotqdyk
屬於人類的溫暖。40Please respect copyright.PENANA7yARg8ZgNO
40Please respect copyright.PENANAFAjyQTwV3z
緩緩張開眼睛,眼前的景象讓他差點叫了出來。40Please respect copyright.PENANAZGWJirybIK
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「……!」40Please respect copyright.PENANAN12YagSFXB
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掩住嘴就怕把距離自己很近很近的人吵醒。40Please respect copyright.PENANAo9aJQVHoZs
小堤默默的觀察著,看來觸感頗好略偏白的肌膚,熟睡後抹去了不少在球場上時會展現出來的認真感,還有那份相隔多年不見的成熟。40Please respect copyright.PENANATWZHm1k1zW
對了~~他還有在球場上踢球嗎?40Please respect copyright.PENANAwMbTfaVHBb
那雙總是透視著他人,看事情看得相當透徹的眼此刻閉著,熟睡的模樣有種難以言喻的放鬆感。而看著他的人也是如此。40Please respect copyright.PENANAdzcRup8x3G
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「涉澤……」喃喃的他念著他的名字。40Please respect copyright.PENANAN5LloTvH8d
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中學的選拔隊過後他就沒再見過這個人,自己的能力勉強就只到那個頂點而已,那之後就……40Please respect copyright.PENANA0EANQkzgak
說真的,他對於涉澤的印象也只停留在球場上,而後他只是偶爾的略微聽到關於對方的一些消息,只知道沒多久涉澤就出國了至於去做什麼他不知道。40Please respect copyright.PENANAoF4pmyRMQE
不過,他又有什麼好知道的?當時的那些過往容納了好多好多的情感,錯綜複雜到讓當時的他無法明白,等到遲鈍的自己在許久之後終於略微的捕捉到關於那些混雜不堪的情緒中的起始後他開始害怕了起來。40Please respect copyright.PENANAZImeqw65vP
然後,他才頓然發現……自己喜歡上了涉澤。40Please respect copyright.PENANAWF2C5YrVnw
於是不停的努力拉開距離,很多時候自己的努力是徒勞無功,稍加一不小心他就會看涉澤看到著迷。他總是想這樣的自己真是可悲,那樣一個站在頂端的人是不會發現的。40Please respect copyright.PENANAQ5UvCVjG8B
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「糟糕。」輕輕說著,他縮了下肩膀查覺到從胸口傳來的股動聲響。40Please respect copyright.PENANAMm5L8OcsZ8
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原來,還是如此的有影響力嗎?40Please respect copyright.PENANAWfaMXSoj1j
回到現在的問題……昨天到底發生了什麼事,記憶斷在選拔隊的聚會上不太會拒絕的他被灌了幾杯酒這裡,他只記得鳴海搭著他的肩邊推他喝酒邊閒話家常,而後就……40Please respect copyright.PENANA2qcWIMz5EC
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「真麻煩……怎麼偏偏是涉澤……」小堤輕嘆了口氣,不自覺得小聲碎唸著。40Please respect copyright.PENANAlmWEw2rKSb
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正在苦惱的他完全沒發現面對面熟睡的傢伙已經醒了,悄悄的張開眼帶著微笑觀察了好一陣子,涉澤看著表情變化不停的小堤最後忍不住出聲。40Please respect copyright.PENANAnhUaAxR9s3
40Please respect copyright.PENANASa4n021muB
「呵~你在想什麼。」涉澤看著聽到自己聲音回神,顯得有些嚇到而不自覺縮了下的小堤輕笑著,他想著即使過了這麼多年眼前的這個人還是會讓他輕易的想到怕生的小狗。40Please respect copyright.PENANAUR37mRoscQ
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相當的可愛。40Please respect copyright.PENANAi769u1A4KW
他一直都是這樣想。自然的伸出手,他想摸小堤的頭。卻被對方躲過往後退了些警戒的盯著。涉澤有些錯愕隨後苦笑了下,他們就只是靜靜的盯著彼此誰都沒說話。40Please respect copyright.PENANACRdNhP8YmP
40Please respect copyright.PENANAlSq2QBayrF
「對不起。」沉默了許久小堤最後低下頭小小聲的說了句,挪了挪身體將自己和涉澤的距離一點一點的拉開。40Please respect copyright.PENANAfH6iCUZBUL
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一點一點的……總是如此。40Please respect copyright.PENANA2xi8QAKbhF
涉澤苦笑著,他已經不想再這樣下去了,所以昨晚才會緊緊的抓住小堤不願意放手。40Please respect copyright.PENANA6bR0mEa5LZ
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<b>〝究竟要離自己多遠你才能真正微笑?〞</b>40Please respect copyright.PENANA6wGCLItdEs
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選拔隊時,15歲的自己和14歲的你。40Please respect copyright.PENANAqMUD4Bei1K
只有在自己沒看著時,在那張倔強的臉上才會看到真正的笑容……所以那時的自己……40Please respect copyright.PENANA00jvsNnjlE
40Please respect copyright.PENANA1KVr30gpni
「昨晚大概是喝醉了,造成你的麻煩真的很抱歉。」小堤客套生疏的這麼說。40Please respect copyright.PENANAoTRQh7JUSp
40Please respect copyright.PENANAQepAaTrrFE
隨後起身任由光裸的身體穿梭在空氣中,他打算下床去浴室沖個澡就要準備回家。40Please respect copyright.PENANAm3IRTIqOue
他堅信……也說服自己昨晚什麼都沒發生,只是自己喝醉酒涉澤幫自己清理的關係才會一絲不掛的連內褲都在地上,當然這種事根本就只是欺騙自己而已。40Please respect copyright.PENANAIOocqm3GWy
小堤 健太郎也明白,但他得假裝是這樣才行……40Please respect copyright.PENANAqJmb0YzAhu
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「……」涉澤沉默的維持著原姿勢躺在床上,眼默默的隨著對方起身撿拾衣物的身影移動,背對著的小堤沒發現對方此刻臉上的神情是多麼的落寞。40Please respect copyright.PENANAR8FBRlDen1
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涉澤半起身眼神流轉著而後開口了,帶了些賭氣類似小孩子鬧脾氣撒嬌的語氣說:「可是你昨天不停說著〝你愛我〞而且緊緊的回抱著我。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAAv6DqNBTQz
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他沒有騙他……40Please respect copyright.PENANARVUB9J61kt
昨晚開著車本來打算送小堤回家,他才發現自己對於小堤是多麼的不了解,不知道對方的住所在哪。當時靠過去原本是想搖醒人詢問一下。40Please respect copyright.PENANApoGEv2B1Fo
但才湊過身去他就忍不住想親吻上那雙唇,只要吻一下就好了……但卻愈來愈捨不得離開……40Please respect copyright.PENANA6AfMKHHLoc
而後小堤回應了。不論是行動上還是言語上,他確實的告訴自己那樣隱藏著的真實情感。40Please respect copyright.PENANADxkXWPEV8d
那才是讓他再也克制不了的主因……他真的真的只是想再稍微碰觸一下而已。40Please respect copyright.PENANApqvL8e3qDL
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「……我想,可能我是認錯人了。對不起。」將衣服撿起的背影頓了一下這麼回答。40Please respect copyright.PENANAf7x6U5IqlP
40Please respect copyright.PENANAzRyDtIEArM
而後小堤匆匆的繞過床,走入位在涉澤這一側斜後方的浴室,像是要逃避著什麼般的快速。40Please respect copyright.PENANAD7Mf2bqja4
涉澤只是沉默的坐起身看著這樣的小堤,而後在浴室門關上傳來嘩啦嘩啦的沖水聲後才嘆了口氣下床,撿起散落在床邊屬於自己的那些衣物。40Please respect copyright.PENANAxTDUyX5Hav
已經不用沖澡了,在昨晚不停歇的做愛後他是清洗完畢後才回床上入眠的。40Please respect copyright.PENANABOI5w2wIQ0
40Please respect copyright.PENANA93B0HkBlvB
「得送人回去才行。」穿妥衣服的涉澤將窗簾拉開,認真的看著遠方的景色。40Please respect copyright.PENANAK69gBfg1k6
40Please respect copyright.PENANALvuBFXgaNL
這間飯店位在山區中,距離能搭交通工具的地方有些遠。40Please respect copyright.PENANATtJEC3iSTu
他想等會小堤肯定會抗拒,但只有這點他不能退讓……當然更多的是涉澤克朗還是有些私心,他不打算和十多年前一樣什麼都沒說沒做就放棄。40Please respect copyright.PENANA9nn2kZSFKc
至少,這十多年來小堤健太郎這個人總是讓他忘不掉。40Please respect copyright.PENANAbgKHNX580M
40Please respect copyright.PENANATRZNDpxWH4
〝咖擦〞40Please respect copyright.PENANAfgXwNjhZfB
40Please respect copyright.PENANAxNqXiouloC
浴室的門打開,小堤走出來。40Please respect copyright.PENANASu8klvRfyy
一臉淡然的擦著濕濕的頭髮,那樣的神情涉澤解讀為對方打算無視自己、無視昨晚發生的一切、無視過往在選拔隊的那些……也順道否定小堤自身的想法和心情。40Please respect copyright.PENANAmXhHX41e1A
40Please respect copyright.PENANA8uJ4areSSZ
「等一下我送你回去。」涉澤走到小堤身旁,拿起對方正在擦頭的毛巾幫他擦拭著。40Please respect copyright.PENANAtJmDK4fr8q
40Please respect copyright.PENANAyYiNYDqiGG
用著不容抗拒的語氣這麼說,也用著不允許小堤反抗的氣勢替人擦著頭髮,隨後拿起吹風機自顧自幫小堤吹起頭髮。40Please respect copyright.PENANA28v9gwQiYt
40Please respect copyright.PENANAQQQav76pZP
「為什麼……」小堤從鏡中看著低著頭認真而溫柔幫自己梳理溽濕的髮的涉澤喃喃自語著。40Please respect copyright.PENANAsfsSctK7Tj
40Please respect copyright.PENANArQFy2jVOLC
為什麼到現在還要對自己這麼溫柔?40Please respect copyright.PENANAQvDS4r0Iqn
為什麼你要距離這麼遠?40Please respect copyright.PENANAUdXhaMFEkI
為什麼我要這麼沒用?40Please respect copyright.PENANAnNfpufze5J
為什麼……不就這樣再也不要見到面,那樣的話就好了啊……40Please respect copyright.PENANA8loqu3XIKk
40Please respect copyright.PENANAUqyxOKM0uq
小堤低下頭緊抿著唇忍耐著。40Please respect copyright.PENANAzC4rnVlxMD
40Please respect copyright.PENANAQ8Kg9KPCVw
「……」涉澤安靜的看著小堤的一切反應,和那隻放置在膝上緊緊握成拳的手。40Please respect copyright.PENANAzMFhik9Ras
40Please respect copyright.PENANAf7ap6Uw7ea
吹風機烘烘烘的聲音在房間內散漫開來,陽光切成好看的線條和角度撒了進來,但他們之間還是安靜到像是彼此並不存在在同一個空間中一樣。40Please respect copyright.PENANAIUd5WiGy04
無聲的疼痛和哭泣大抵上就是如此吧。40Please respect copyright.PENANAKzJETPuj3P
久了也就麻木到毫無感覺了。40Please respect copyright.PENANAkD4FTgBkYX
40Please respect copyright.PENANAAZmGljf2vz
40Please respect copyright.PENANA0dshGbmus5
〝喀擦〞40Please respect copyright.PENANA9JTtX9Hg8p
40Please respect copyright.PENANAMUUaYbwM5j
坐上副駕駛座,小堤扣上安全帶,一臉彆扭的神情不想面對坐在隔壁正在發動車子的涉澤。40Please respect copyright.PENANAvOzIcQfCJB
好看的細長手指拿著車鑰匙隨後發動車子,這是台日本國產品牌的車子。偏淺、亮銀色的架高車體,車內的空間相當的寬敞。40Please respect copyright.PENANAMklzNn8DkX
40Please respect copyright.PENANAvaE9vsiWOT
『果然是涉澤的車。』40Please respect copyright.PENANAktH7emXNPP
40Please respect copyright.PENANA30nk3jXhsP
這是小堤看到車的第一個想法,高大、優雅、從容的氣勢,卻也溫和沉穩。40Please respect copyright.PENANA5qNnA0FaqN
〝嗶嗶嗶〞的聲響不停的傳來,小堤心不在焉的看著涉澤的手指在面板上輕觸著,他記得這雙手。40Please respect copyright.PENANAIWgevuZveZ
視線飄移到窗外,看著燦爛鮮明的綠葉他回想到好久好久以前的春天……40Please respect copyright.PENANAbIwy0LJHQM
40Please respect copyright.PENANAQslMSj8tSm
『你沒辦法走吧。』涉澤穿著選拔隊的制服站在東京選拔隊練習的宿舍前方,雙手插在口袋中笑笑的看著一手拿著行李有些吃力的小堤。40Please respect copyright.PENANApThQoylkHV
40Please respect copyright.PENANATyD5wkViFM
雖說是春天但依舊還是有些寒冷。40Please respect copyright.PENANA07RTvMWWhQ
小堤不太想理涉澤,艱辛的拿著有些重的行李打算走過對方身邊。但在走過涉澤身旁時那隻手被用力的握住,而後有些重量的運動包被對方給背在身上。40Please respect copyright.PENANANnjLm2yE8r
40Please respect copyright.PENANAnEKiHSsBsk
『我送你吧。』這麼說著涉澤完全不等他開口抗議逕自帶著他走向大門。40Please respect copyright.PENANAbeoNLumxDi
40Please respect copyright.PENANAtu1q9NVKod
那隻有些粗糙的大手的觸感直到如今他都還記得,眷戀、溫柔、溫暖……他們走在清晨一個人都沒有的櫻花步道上,誰都沒說話就只是走著。40Please respect copyright.PENANAEcXSv4LRVG
接過涉澤遞過來的包包,他不打算說些什麼,所有的一切就這樣結束也好。40Please respect copyright.PENANAnJIVe4tB1O
對他們都好,從自卑和羨慕中所產生的情感或許只是錯覺。之後他就會遺忘這一切。40Please respect copyright.PENANAOJAQRh77Vq
40Please respect copyright.PENANAF0rOZVHDOm
『再見……我會等你的。』輕聲這麼說著,後面的那句涉澤在猶豫了一下後補上。40Please respect copyright.PENANAGSQFLi1Gpq
40Please respect copyright.PENANAnAU6Fu0n68
小堤不打算回話,默默的點頭準備離去。40Please respect copyright.PENANAAB9t7bik0b
在那一秒他被拉回,一個很輕很柔的吻點綴在額頭上。而後就是真的再見了,他一直覺得那就是他們最後的交集……40Please respect copyright.PENANAJVUFJWAouq
40Please respect copyright.PENANASkgfjOgzD4
「小堤、小堤?」涉澤抓著他的肩膀呼喚了好幾聲。40Please respect copyright.PENANABAWTRnVDAg
40Please respect copyright.PENANA2RnITJy5Xs
疑惑的看著在面前靠自己靠得很近的涉澤的臉,和十多年前相比涉澤的變化並不多依舊是如此的熟悉和溫柔,而後他終於回神不自在的推開涉澤的手。40Please respect copyright.PENANACPImGxPfrm
40Please respect copyright.PENANAT5z2hquulW
「幹嘛?」頭撇向一旁他回答。40Please respect copyright.PENANAmTOJCypNKQ
40Please respect copyright.PENANA8jb6INhDPo
「你家在哪?給我住址吧,需要查詢一下路線。」涉澤漫不經心的隨意說著,手指繼續點著面版。問話的口吻像是日常般的自然。40Please respect copyright.PENANAdRPYnCTNGI
40Please respect copyright.PENANAwGxO6N1HS6
「……」小堤單手撐著下巴,有些猶豫是否要告訴涉澤。40Please respect copyright.PENANA9ILgiS2uMc
40Please respect copyright.PENANAcvCWmXf6JN
雖然乍看之下只是因為要送自己回家而問的,但他不確定這樣再次和涉澤產生交集是否是好事。知道了住址、交換了手機號碼就意味著分離的線只要有意就能夠再次連繫在一起,那樣他過去的努力不就白費了?40Please respect copyright.PENANAqhTmneRYMS
可是……要說他不想也不是完全不是就是了……40Please respect copyright.PENANA1e3yOnOiWi
40Please respect copyright.PENANALLhcWU5TVS
「小堤?」涉澤詢問的聲音再次傳來。40Please respect copyright.PENANAQ3StLeqNAU
40Please respect copyright.PENANAsbeJzPQcRo
緊握了一下手,抿著唇。40Please respect copyright.PENANA81gLoFVGzl
40Please respect copyright.PENANA9D7RS5H5E6
「小金井市本町5丁目4−29……」一個字一個字小聲的念了出來。40Please respect copyright.PENANAxHkJJJFuWq
40Please respect copyright.PENANAbvLlguPb7y
他沒說出那棟大樓的第幾層,因為這沒必要,只是送人回去就走而且不會再連絡的話沒必要知道那麼多。40Please respect copyright.PENANAZ3XJglb7qq
40Please respect copyright.PENANARUWPvyR56V
「好~」電子的嗶嗶嗶聲再度傳來,涉澤語氣沉穩的回應著將那串地址輸入進GPS中。40Please respect copyright.PENANAa8bbeTgGoM
40Please respect copyright.PENANAZrj0Nzsubx
卻也偷偷的記下了這個地址,小堤現在所住的地方和自己家所在的武藏野市緊鄰,這讓涉澤不自覺得唇角微微上揚。40Please respect copyright.PENANAvMfTDZqgTb
有些事那時的自己不懂,拉到現在也不算全懂。40Please respect copyright.PENANAnVbEfWV5NP
但是……放棄的話就未免太可惜了吧。40Please respect copyright.PENANAYWMFvzMY3q
40Please respect copyright.PENANAivFnx06by3
「走吧~」涉澤踩下油門轉動起方向盤,MAZDA的車沉穩的運作上了路。40Please respect copyright.PENANAFWinFMyGna
40Please respect copyright.PENANAOVNxgyGHDm
不知道是涉澤開車的關係還是這部車的性能好,小堤覺得坐在這輛車中讓人感到安心,不會有緊急煞車或是感到緊張的感覺,在此同時他也有升起些小小的自我厭惡。40Please respect copyright.PENANAeckcxdjUjh
討厭卻又信任?這麼多年了還是這樣。感覺自己全然的毫無成長。40Please respect copyright.PENANA7k2pgNmcvA
40Please respect copyright.PENANA7oN2aLjThE
「會肚子餓吧,你剛才早餐都沒什麼吃。」涉澤轉了圈方向盤看著前方的馬路思考著,在看到街角的麥當勞後眼睛亮了下,毫不考慮的開了過去。40Please respect copyright.PENANAYT9JtgRQQz
40Please respect copyright.PENANA5cOAao0t5w
小堤知道涉澤這個神情的意思,就和在場上指揮調度時相同。40Please respect copyright.PENANAVQvudS6Zab
有著不容反駁的意思,他知道這時的涉澤的安排是適度的也是好的,但是……就是……就是一股不甘願油然而生。40Please respect copyright.PENANAidRiy8WS9C
小堤的手不自覺得緊握著,唇用力的抿著。40Please respect copyright.PENANAJKqP6i47bL
40Please respect copyright.PENANAqUEnhiULzO
「……只是早餐而已,對我放鬆些戒心吧。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAI9IilP4TUs
40Please respect copyright.PENANAsteg7LfZUd
一聲嘆息後,是涉澤無奈的回話。40Please respect copyright.PENANAeucjMnIXBI
忍不住的偷偷的往旁邊向上撇了眼,他只看到涉澤專注的駛近速食店的臨時停車位。而後響起安全帶鬆開的聲響。40Please respect copyright.PENANAd6LdkTruFy
40Please respect copyright.PENANAHBu9YokI9t
「我記得你沒有不吃的東西,那就隨我買囉。」涉澤淡笑著開了車門,離去前又回頭說了一句。「速食店沒賣味噌湯,真是可惜呀~」40Please respect copyright.PENANAcilIZGt0wI
40Please respect copyright.PENANAb9DX49h0bI
小堤從頭到尾維持著直視著擋風玻璃外的風景,略微的低著頭的姿勢。40Please respect copyright.PENANAKFNvyI83fI
對於涉澤所說的像是完全沒聽到般。空白在兩人之間周旋了幾秒,在涉澤一聲〝我等下就回來。〞和關車門及從外頭以遙控器按下鎖門鍵的聲響才終於結束。40Please respect copyright.PENANA5TbkRHt873
40Please respect copyright.PENANAfN51mLuXxl
「什麼味噌湯啊……連這種事都記得是要幹嘛……」小堤在人走遠後,仿如抱怨般的抬頭看著窗外的藍天小聲低咕著。40Please respect copyright.PENANAsGtDvhxyUa
40Please respect copyright.PENANABYf7WA8TFM
味噌湯是他最喜歡的食物。40Please respect copyright.PENANAaPwydYHcUk
選拔隊那年其實他也沒特別跟誰說過,頂多就是吃飯時會多拿一碗而已……40Please respect copyright.PENANABOwWMRqGvF
40Please respect copyright.PENANAoEwGrhuaz5
「啊!」40Please respect copyright.PENANAgjrPcoPJnC
40Please respect copyright.PENANAeekIC71In4
想起了些當年的瑣碎片段,小堤健太郎頓時睜大了眼小小聲的驚呼了下。40Please respect copyright.PENANApCQ3d5qwfJ
40Please respect copyright.PENANAE19V9CQbke
『幹嘛?』喝完放到最後的味噌湯後,小堤呆然的看著坐在自己對面的涉澤。40Please respect copyright.PENANA7JRiEKdBgc
40Please respect copyright.PENANAdeAcuwiVfI
在他面前的是從涉澤的餐盤中遞過來的熱騰騰的湯,那隻寬闊的手掌正準備收回。他抬頭疑惑的詢問眼前這個高大的勁敵。敵人,他自己是這樣認知的。40Please respect copyright.PENANAhCEly0jiFk
40Please respect copyright.PENANAJAmbJuukwp
『給你喝吧~難得今天的湯是味增湯,你很喜歡不是嗎?』涉澤淡淡的笑著,那樣的笑容真誠、溫暖及溫柔,小堤是知道的但就是無法坦率的直視。40Please respect copyright.PENANAGkED7MtI1f
40Please respect copyright.PENANA68pZ9Q8Qa2
眼神飄移著,正打算堅定的開口婉拒時,涉澤放下筷子雙手合十。40Please respect copyright.PENANAxhXurQJqnV
40Please respect copyright.PENANAiOyvsI6GHG
『我吃飽了。』涉澤說完,站起身端起餐盤笑著回頭對小堤說,『我先走了,慢慢吃。下午的練習也不輕鬆呢~』40Please respect copyright.PENANAd9led6Q85m
40Please respect copyright.PENANAKZS3mLPEuG
『啊……嗯……』完全沒機會說些別的,小堤只能默默的點點頭算是回應涉澤的話語。40Please respect copyright.PENANAqA3cm3QUSW
40Please respect copyright.PENANABQIg8XUBUE
在人走後他凝視著面前那碗還冒著煙。40Please respect copyright.PENANAplqOEiKeoc
看起來分明就是涉澤用餐完畢後才離開座位又去拿的,小堤想到自己會如此喜歡這道料理是因為味噌湯總能讓他想到小學時就去世的媽媽。40Please respect copyright.PENANA0a9Ocdy14R
喝著味增湯時,他仿佛能夠看到在深處記憶中久遠以前那個圍著圍裙的溫柔身影,站在瓦斯爐前試著味道,然後再發現他到家時會回頭溫柔笑著對自己說聲〝回來啦~〞40Please respect copyright.PENANAWccaf9ZThp
那樣的神情……和涉澤的笑容重疊在一起。40Please respect copyright.PENANAgx54NYBXwX
那樣的溫柔和溫暖好像……是一樣的……40Please respect copyright.PENANAtnK4xTLfCC
40Please respect copyright.PENANApjcrcd68aI
「小堤?你怎麼一直恍神。」涉澤的淡笑再次展現在眼前,這次帶了些無奈和好笑的氛圍在。40Please respect copyright.PENANA6HNLphzO8D
40Please respect copyright.PENANA48G1ihTsbe
他能夠清楚辨別涉澤的表情和笑所代表的意思。40Please respect copyright.PENANAKcSZ6HiF2y
不知道為什麼……他就是知道,不是特別想懂也不是詢問過。但他就是能夠了解涉澤所想和所表達的,或許那能夠說是種默契也不一定。40Please respect copyright.PENANA05sCMlgm4r
以前也總是如此,正因為這樣他才更加感到厭惡。40Please respect copyright.PENANAwf8qGMBBfP
40Please respect copyright.PENANAkSBxLl4OvK
「……沒什麼。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAJLQaCtmxx1
40Please respect copyright.PENANAGv38A9cXh1
轉頭,看向窗外。40Please respect copyright.PENANAWhheXR9qGk
小堤冷淡的回答涉澤的問題,這樣的碰釘子也只是讓涉澤聳聳肩沒多說什麼。他坐上駕駛座將手中那袋熱騰騰的食物遞給對方。40Please respect copyright.PENANAM5gdl62TjN
小堤沒有拒絕,順勢的接了過去,而後他扣上安全帶發動車子,準備繼續上路。40Please respect copyright.PENANAKwClsGd7IE
一旁斷斷續續的傳來紙袋摩擦的聲響。這讓涉澤再度的淡笑了,轉著方向盤他邊想著就像現在這樣,身邊有個人真的很好。而且這個人還得是他想念了很久的人才行。40Please respect copyright.PENANAWkttrL6mhB
40Please respect copyright.PENANAP3Ke9IHLtC
「一個熱狗堡、一份鬆餅、生菜沙拉和牛奶?」一旁傳來小堤語調上揚的誇張詢問聲,涉澤一轉頭就看到那張臉皺著眉一副不悅的樣子,「不覺得這樣太多了。」40Please respect copyright.PENANA4UIilqur5s
40Please respect copyright.PENANAeK1sTtHe32
「呵~我倒覺得這樣剛好,熱量和營養都足夠了,我想你還是有維持運動的習慣吧。線條和體態都保持的不錯。」涉澤輕笑著,這讓他回想起在選拔隊時偶爾和小堤為數不多的小小互動。40Please respect copyright.PENANAVRvOupsm0r
40Please respect copyright.PENANAixQfsJRXVo
那每一次的互動和言語交談,都讓他印象深刻。40Please respect copyright.PENANAQPS9cwKIHt
他們在很多部分想法有著些微的差異,慣於照顧人的他對於關注許久的對象自然更是管的更多,這惹得小堤有時會牢騷般的反彈,只是基於涉澤的要求是有理的,到最後小堤總是默默的接受。40Please respect copyright.PENANAJ6BvutcZcI
他喜歡看扁著嘴有所不甘的對方,邊發著牢騷小聲碎念邊執行著自己的要求的樣子。40Please respect copyright.PENANAkXhdqIY6ZG
那讓他感到自己被這個人所包容和接納,即使有些小不滿也能接受。大概是從那時起他就多了些惡質的惡趣味了吧。以他的方式捉弄著小堤。40Please respect copyright.PENANA9FJQspALHn
40Please respect copyright.PENANAhOcpUPko9j
「唔……」被涉澤的話語給堵住,小堤呆愣了下而後紅了臉。40Please respect copyright.PENANAAClw73Fyuc
40Please respect copyright.PENANAobJ2S5iy1M
涉澤的出發點本意並沒有要再提醒對方昨晚的事,但既然小堤自己都往那方面想了,他順勢調侃一下應該也不為過吧。40Please respect copyright.PENANASUVz6FrYoN
40Please respect copyright.PENANAgXAY4z9z3T
<b>〝自己還真是惡質啊~〞</b>40Please respect copyright.PENANAQVt0th7CLD
40Please respect copyright.PENANAFZbMValNTC
這麼想著的同時,他往旁傾下輕輕的親吻了下小堤的臉頰。40Please respect copyright.PENANAXtOzOUbGSk
這種舉動可得趁著人還沒回神時做才行,但他在內心中默默告訴自己,這只是現在得這樣而已,未來還很難說不是嗎?他一定會將身旁的這個人牢牢的緊握住的。一定會!40Please respect copyright.PENANA8jf2TzxnKR
40Please respect copyright.PENANAx9wpXWCisq
「觸感也很好呢~」他在他耳邊輕輕的這麼說,帶著幾分的愉悅成份在。40Please respect copyright.PENANAi0XFV4xGwr
40Please respect copyright.PENANAhTqa7BvGDD
說完回到自己的座位,裝沒事的繼續開著車。40Please respect copyright.PENANAmMisCXjytf
一副和往常相同的沉穩狀態,回過神的小堤原先微紅的臉更紅了,他憤憤的咬著吸管喝著牛奶斜瞪著裝沒事的傢伙。40Please respect copyright.PENANAGDyMelgqIY
但完全不打算回話,他早就知道了!知道跟涉澤太過認真的去回應只會落得更加難堪的下場。(雖然通常覺得難堪的只有他自己就是了~大家可不這樣想。)40Please respect copyright.PENANA2uXjkkisU4
40Please respect copyright.PENANAAnzR1ymmQE
「從這裡回到你家還需要點時間,如果吃完早餐累了的話先睡一下,到了我會叫你的。」涉澤沉穩的聲音傳來。40Please respect copyright.PENANARTGOiXknjl
40Please respect copyright.PENANAJpW0UomXb2
小堤嘴巴塞得滿滿的,無法回話也不打算回答。40Please respect copyright.PENANAELswf4I0AU
只是臉頰鼓著持續咬著食物,頭點了點當作回應。在那之後一路上的車程相當的寧靜,涉澤將兩邊窗戶略微的降下,他們駛在距離市區有段距離的鄉間小路之間,迎面而來的空氣清新而好聞,盈滿著大自然植物的草香。40Please respect copyright.PENANAvq6a8kB1F8
放鬆的感覺讓吃完這頓豐盛早餐的小堤不自覺得瞇起了眼。40Please respect copyright.PENANA8czwnLgzUV
40Please respect copyright.PENANAUek4Qu4hm2
「睡一下吧。」涉澤好聽的聲音放低了音量,也柔軟了許多。他對小堤這麼說,厚實溫暖的大手撫上小堤的頭揉了揉。40Please respect copyright.PENANAN7QCUboXTT
40Please respect copyright.PENANAmS6avdZu3y
「嗯……」40Please respect copyright.PENANAngFYQTZ3Fj
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沒有抗拒,小堤只是蹭了蹭涉澤觸碰著自己的手。40Please respect copyright.PENANAPi4LUCEhTN
迷迷糊糊的輕輕的回了個發語音表示自己要睡一下,翻了個身靠著車窗的窗沿,沒多久就傳來了均勻的呼吸聲。40Please respect copyright.PENANA8wBttk0D08
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正在開車的涉澤分神偷偷撇了眼。40Please respect copyright.PENANAjT0j5jcbyu
而後輕笑著,有種輕盈悄悄的溫暖幸福感慢慢的包裹上周身,他感到十分的安穩及平靜。40Please respect copyright.PENANAxPAWiB1vi6
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「你能在身邊真是太好了。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAMxGaLi6JXX
40Please respect copyright.PENANAIr9HMfg76f
在人熟睡後,涉澤偷偷的在田野小路上停下車,凝視著小堤的睡顏許久後輕輕的親吻了下對方的唇。40Please respect copyright.PENANAgBSgIaVPyl
以不著痕跡、不吵醒小堤的方式吻上。40Please respect copyright.PENANAAm9xDJZyCT
然後,悄悄的回到原位,雙手握著方向盤涉澤向前傾了些,抬起頭看著擋風玻璃外的大片藍色天空。用力的呼了口氣,他扯起少許感到安心的淡笑,隨後轉動鑰匙再度發動車子。40Please respect copyright.PENANAeJnIqIUV3Z
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好亮……40Please respect copyright.PENANA3ljodVJ4Z2
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一整片的亮度,絢爛而盲目刺眼,但他又在其中看到好多好多。40Please respect copyright.PENANALxGeOFLehn
像是那年選拔隊的許多片段、韓國那戰的身心煎熬,一下子的跳躍到媽媽的笑容、病床刺眼的白,跟家中溫暖的色調、媽媽還健康時替自己帶的便當菜色……40Please respect copyright.PENANAgspARpOq33
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夢境中那個幸福的三人家庭離自己愈來愈遠,只差一步就能夠觸碰到距離就這樣直接被黑色劃開。40Please respect copyright.PENANArglM16FX5V
不安。40Please respect copyright.PENANACU8zZxY2Lq
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〝如果可以的話,能不能夠不要分開?〞40Please respect copyright.PENANA0rDTXUgvhk
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他很堅強也很努力,和爸爸彼此照顧著彼此。40Please respect copyright.PENANAeH89T3F50v
長大而後獨立生活,將自己照顧得很好,但是……其實他一直都希望著這份寂寞能夠得到釋放。40Please respect copyright.PENANASfIMFMW6Zv
40Please respect copyright.PENANAU5cLWBk1mW
不安的黑,碎裂了。40Please respect copyright.PENANA8VpkHuKJfE
取而代之的是溫和的光和暖度。和最初那過亮的亮度很不同,讓人感到安心而可靠……40Please respect copyright.PENANAXQ4pHZuL27
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「怎麼會睡得這麼不好。」涉澤趁著等紅燈的空檔,手輕柔的推開小堤緊皺著的眉頭。40Please respect copyright.PENANASDH2WYZIgE
40Please respect copyright.PENANAKOL41ocFwk
在感受到涉澤手的暖度後,那些不安的痕跡隨即消散。40Please respect copyright.PENANADle06zlOyV
大手安撫般的摸了摸小堤的頭。40Please respect copyright.PENANA7PiP7AmVOD
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「嗚……嗯……」發出些毫無意義的單音,熟睡中的傢伙整個轉過身來面對著涉澤繼續入眠。只是這次似乎終於安穩了不少。40Please respect copyright.PENANAcascf9wT4e
40Please respect copyright.PENANAzWYYoQSI8Y
〝怦通、怦通~〞40Please respect copyright.PENANAuABcHwjOFY
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「……啊啊……真是的。」愣了下,涉澤才回過神意識到左胸口的跳動他苦笑了下,收回觸碰小堤的手撐住自己的額頭。40Please respect copyright.PENANAMxS4nrS4iE
40Please respect copyright.PENANAnGZd0r5JA4
有種喜歡,是毫無自覺得。40Please respect copyright.PENANA6ocnF9gl4z
等到他發現時目光早已不自覺得直視著對方,總是能夠看到失神而不自知。40Please respect copyright.PENANApka7TZLFob
像個情竇初開的少年,在那確實處於少年時期的時候蔓延而上的喜歡。他記得他那時的很多事,喜歡的食物、練習的姿勢和小習慣、喝水的樣子……他總是默默的看著。40Please respect copyright.PENANAbsSbCnIjro
以任何人都毫無發覺的從容姿態觀察著小堤,享受著能夠好好看著人的時刻,貪婪的看著。40Please respect copyright.PENANAj8Bl0iEBpd
仿佛只要將這一切牢記著就足夠了。40Please respect copyright.PENANAwfFH00JI9T
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「但很顯然我想那是不夠吧。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAAmjWjS8N1h
40Please respect copyright.PENANAcp0O2htqZe
在綠燈亮起的瞬間,涉澤聳聳肩重新掌握住方向盤。40Please respect copyright.PENANAwNzHgO9y8O
14年的時間,他從足球界的至寶閃耀的新星,轉為穩固可靠有經驗的選手,簽約到西甲攝取更多國際經驗,然後在巔峰時期一個表現亮眼的球季和四年一度的世界盃結束後的那年宣布退休。40Please respect copyright.PENANADt1mJzfdOb
退休後,在逐一的安排和歷史悠久的涉澤家背景下,他得已享有和普通人相同的寧靜生活。40Please respect copyright.PENANA7DqLCiVIPX
退休的那年,他低調的回國短暫幾天就又飛往事前早就安排好的行程,前往義大利學習餐點的製作,這一切是早就想好且有規劃的在進行。40Please respect copyright.PENANAQHt6ABUVaw
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「而這14年你又過得如何?」涉澤轉頭輕聲的詢問著。40Please respect copyright.PENANAizyzdtwD1j
40Please respect copyright.PENANA0KYN7YWED6
他只知道,小堤在選拔隊那年後縱然還是持續著踢球。40Please respect copyright.PENANAOxkZl7eCb1
但似乎只有在高中時還勉勉強強入選了選拔隊參與國家的培訓,但跟他所處的訓練地不同因此沒有實際在同一隊中同訓,等到他上大學的那年……就再也沒在和足球相關的地方見到這個人。40Please respect copyright.PENANAip4WRHI5D0
而自己除了學業和球隊的忙碌,也多了份顧忌。他並沒有忘記小堤對於自己的敵對意識,出於並不想因為自己的關係而讓對方困擾、感到壓力,當時的他認為就這樣結束也好。40Please respect copyright.PENANAqOaZEg32sl
只是……就算在國外他也還是想念著那樣堅毅的身影。40Please respect copyright.PENANAPnrsxB3D3E
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〝如果,當時緊緊的握住就好了。〞40Please respect copyright.PENANAa9M8CtpuP5
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不止一次,他的腦海裡總是這樣想著。40Please respect copyright.PENANAKZ6TQyA3tM
嚐到好吃的食物,看到美麗的風景,做了好吃的甜點……不論是什麼樣大大小小的事,就算是瑣事也好,他好想好想和那個人分享。40Please respect copyright.PENANAdiLJyi12du
在義大利,他住的房子晚上能夠看到很漂亮的星空。40Please respect copyright.PENANAq6La2toMXY
他總是仰躺在落地窗前看著,想著〝能讓小堤看看該有多好〞這些無關緊要的蠢念頭。就連養了多年的貓咪―橘子踩過他胸口窩在那時他也沒發覺。40Please respect copyright.PENANASFpYl24lFd
空閒時,他一晚可以躺在那看好幾個小時的星星……和想小堤。40Please respect copyright.PENANAAJzpEQtclv
40Please respect copyright.PENANAXV0ZNAATxu
「如果……未來有天能帶你去的話……就好了。」涉澤呢喃著用不確定的膽怯口吻這麼說著。40Please respect copyright.PENANAC07QjVzS71
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車子駛過幾個路口,從車站附近的熱鬧逐漸轉為寧靜。40Please respect copyright.PENANAnjnr9zGskS
進入巷子後,隨意就能夠看到充斥著綠葉的小型公園,照著導航系統和天生的方向感,涉澤拐了幾個彎後停在一棟看來頗新的大樓附近。40Please respect copyright.PENANAxjy3cJrd9i
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「……」40Please respect copyright.PENANAlJk7vJZ4QN
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涉澤沉默著,注視著副駕駛座上面對著自己側躺熟睡的小堤。40Please respect copyright.PENANAfttqckKdwM
和剛入眠一小段時間後的不安表情不同,現在小堤臉上的神情顯得放鬆而安穩。窗外的鳥鳴聲讓人有種悠閒的感覺。假日的早上街道沒什麼人更加彰顯這樣的悠哉。40Please respect copyright.PENANA9strn0TM3Q
40Please respect copyright.PENANAdm2ELo00zn
「小堤,醒醒。到家囉~」涉澤用著連自己的沒發覺的柔和語氣和表情呼喚著。40Please respect copyright.PENANAQbiNzd2Tjz
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在幾聲掙扎般的夢囈呢喃後,小堤終於張開睡眼惺忪的眼。40Please respect copyright.PENANAbIBWZV9keR
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「嗯……涉澤……?」40Please respect copyright.PENANATmDO0nZIQF
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他看到那雙眼迷茫的注視著自己,隨後視線逐漸聚焦。40Please respect copyright.PENANAUSyhub7Wcx
初醒時帶著疑惑輕喊著自己名的聲音,在涉澤的內心中產生了些波動。忍不住得他再度傾下身,猶豫了下後只是輕輕的吻過小堤的臉頰。40Please respect copyright.PENANAeIlpfZ0cDi
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「再見。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAR6x70oLBb0
40Please respect copyright.PENANAmptOuXepSk
在對方出聲抗議前,他湊在他耳邊輕聲的說。40Please respect copyright.PENANAsWYwpcXOzk
坐回原位後只是安靜的等待著小堤的離去,空白的數秒他感受得到小堤的視線和想說些什麼但最後化為和自己說的相同的兩個字。40Please respect copyright.PENANAhgHiTfRX41
40Please respect copyright.PENANAydAUMGlmVf
「再見。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAh6c7eB9RPV
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〝咖〞40Please respect copyright.PENANAFRiHQEEPqR
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車門開啟的聲響和紙袋摩擦的聲音,最後是關上車門的單音。40Please respect copyright.PENANAmQBbadK8Tj
視線稍稍向一旁撇去,麥當勞的紙袋被小堤順手帶走了。40Please respect copyright.PENANACJkS4Iunr3
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「總是不願意麻煩他人,是嗎?」40Please respect copyright.PENANAcipbZa3eCG
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撫上唇,涉澤回味著。40Please respect copyright.PENANAVTuBQa8jLG
那些吻和過往的無數回憶,沉重……沉重到難以言喻。正是因為如此,在剛才他的決意破碎了一小塊。40Please respect copyright.PENANAi4LlS0d8BX
其實,他是個膽小鬼。40Please respect copyright.PENANAYU4XmymjhP
以致於剛才率先道別的是自己。40Please respect copyright.PENANAVEthmJpJUF
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〝真的要再次試圖接近嗎?〞40Please respect copyright.PENANAbHHS9Ubb5x
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疼痛纏繞。40Please respect copyright.PENANAkLrBzlVaQk
他壓著額頭在駕駛座上低下身,那是一種心感到痛的具象化。不論要不要放棄他都感到不知所措,他想要更加靠近小堤卻又擔憂著被厭惡……40Please respect copyright.PENANAsiGfI7irtQ
下意識的按下車窗鍵,讓靠在自己這邊的車窗逐漸的往下降。40Please respect copyright.PENANAobRjAleXRS
略微的,眼轉向那棟大樓。40Please respect copyright.PENANAycYAqdafvX
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「呵~」40Please respect copyright.PENANAug20lw8xx2
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趴在方向盤上的涉澤,看到剛睡醒頭髮翹了幾根,慌亂的拿著外套又急急忙忙接起手機的小堤。大樓前方種的櫻花樹散漫下陣陣的櫻花花瓣。40Please respect copyright.PENANAsmUwZLeNRC
不知道和電話那頭在說些什麼,一下子大笑、一下子困窘似乎在和對方說抱歉,很多很多的表情。步入大樓前小堤慌張的邊走邊拿出行事曆把行程寫下,最後進入大樓中看不到了。40Please respect copyright.PENANAjvGrk2KCPD
依舊趴在方向盤上,涉澤的視線還是直望著大樓前的那塊平台。40Please respect copyright.PENANAa201VRJmhN
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「不痛了。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAnGd3U5DzK6
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摸著左胸口,他呆然的看著那棵櫻花樹。40Please respect copyright.PENANAtawwhA0x4o
片片的櫻花隨風飄舞,是櫻花雨呢~如果還能夠再見面就好了,不是嗎?40Please respect copyright.PENANAGO3ulB4tQT
十多年的心願和現在的重疊在一起了。40Please respect copyright.PENANAzE249tj5yT
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40Please respect copyright.PENANARpRtJXGXUN