Katie was my best friend in the world. We had known each other since the 2nd grade when I first came to town. Both of us were kind of outcasts, we didn't have many friends. We had each other, so nothing else mattered. Slowly our group of 2 began to expand to a group of 10. Now the popular girls started taking notice of us. Then they struck one day in 10th grade.
"Hey bestie! Come sit with us!" The girls yelled across the cafeteria. I looked around to see who they were talking to. It couldn't be me. I had never even spoken to these girls unless I had to. "Julia! Come on!" They called. Wait. Julia is my name! I was the only Julia in the general area, so they had to be talking to me.1055Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHqKAvx1blm
Not wanting to look like an idiot, I slowly made my way towards them. If I run over there is always the possibility that I misheard and they would call me a loser and kick me out. This was very likely since I'm considered a social reject. "Hurry up already! Just walk a little faster!" They called, so I sped up and got about halfway across the cafeteria before Katie stopped me.1055Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCqgysdS3eA
"Where are you going?" She asked me. "Don't tell me you forgot about our double date that we've been planning for weeks!" Crap! I'd completely forgotten! But if I don't sit with the cool girls now, I might never get the chance to again.1055Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXnxmV1jSvb
"Do you mind if we take a rain check on that double date? The popular girls called me over to sit with them at lunch today, and I'm afraid I won't get this chance again," I explained.1055Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrG18j9OzZ7
"Fine, I'll just tell your date, who just happens to be that guy you really like, that you were too busy to have lunch with him," she threatened.1055Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4191UYwgw
"Wait, you got DARREN to have lunch with me?! He's been my crush since 3rd grade!!!"1055Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqHDtsUPyLW
"Which is why you shouldn't blow him off."1055Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyqPBgpppB5
"Blow who off?" asked Audrey, the leader of the popular girls.1055Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTGVThjlfNd
"None of your business," Katie said at the same time I was saying, "Darren."1055Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQwMz5OJuK
"Woah, woah, woah. You were about to go on a date with Darren? Honey you are way out of his league," Audrey told me. "Come have lunch with me and we'll talk about getting you set up with Jason." Jason was Audrey's ex, and if he dated Audrey, then he had to be cool.1055Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwnKzH5RQgm
"All right!" I cheerily replied. "Sorry, Katie. I guess you'll have to eat lunch alone with Derek. Oh, well, more alone time for you two!" With that we left. Audrey took me to the back of the cafeteria, where the cool girls always sit. 1055Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7OTbRjAKlG
When we got there everyone seemed to readily accept me and actually treated me like a human being. This was new. To them I had always been just part of the scenery, no one to take notice of. They'd never even spoken to me unless they were insulting my outfits, which were sometimes a little out there. Today one girl even said she liked my unique style. Days of this passed and I spent less and less time with Katie. As promised, Audrey set me up with Jason and we started to get close. It even got to the point where he kissed me! Audrey's ex kissed me! Now all I can think is Darren who?
Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months. I saw Katie less and less until we only saw each other in class, and even then we rarely acknowledged each other. But that didn't matter. I had new friends, I was one of the popular girls now. Who cares about the losers I used to hang out with? Key word: losers. But sometimes when I'm hanging out with my new friends, or I'm on a date with Jason, I think about the great times I had with Katie. How we were best friends, how we were so close she got me a date with Darren, my long time crush. But then I would remember that I'm popular now, and that's all I ever wanted. Then the abuse started.
"Omg!" Audrey exclaimed, in the tone we all knew meant she was about to start an hour long conversation with her gossiping and us reacting. Five of us were laying on Audrey's plush, pink carpet in her pink room, enjoying a bowl of popcorn and sodas. "Did you see what that loser Katie was wearing today? She actually thought it was cool to wear animal print to school! Can you believe that Julia?!"1055Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7FoWepEAEx
I mumbled a response barely loud enough to hear. She used to be my best friend, I wasn't ready to criticize Katie yet.1055Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHbY1C9Rb0a
"What was that? Do you not want to make fun of poor little Katie?" Audrey taunted. "Because if you still want to be her best friend, then you can leave and never come back."1055Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQdX7w4r1Sn
Thankfully Jess, one of the other girls, showed mercy and distracted Audrey with the only thing that could distract her: gossip. "Did you hear that Jonah is dating Alexis?" Jess said, glancing apologetically in my direction. She understood how I didn't like my old friends being made fun of. Thank you, I silently mouthed to her behind Audrey's back, and she gave me a small nod as if to say your welcome. Like it or not, most of these girls had been through the same thing as me, and they all explained Audrey only befriended anyone if they were total bitches, or if she wanted to break up a group.1055Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUYnN8welYd
"Hey guys, you want to go to the Dairy Farm for ice cream?" Maddy asked. We all happily agreed. It was nearing the end of the school year, so the weather could get up to 100 degrees, like this specific day.1055Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS5IhU8G392
We made our way over to the Dairy Farm, and you'll never guess who was there. "Omg! It's animal skirt girl!" Audrey exclaimed. "Everybody make sure you stay a good 10 feet away from her, or you could be considered her *shiver* friend." She was, of course, talking about Katie.1055Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwgLgr5eqWF
"Hey Julia! Come sit with me!" Katie yelled over.1055Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiaRgY1UzFQ
As much as it pained me to insult her, I turned to the girls and said loud enough for Julia to hear, "Is that loser talking to me?" Everyone laughed, though 5 out of the 6 of us were uncomfortable with it. We got our ice cream and sat down in the shade at a table that was, unfortunately, right beside Katie's. that left plenty of time for Aubrey to abuse her.1055Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6yuVGmuaW9
"Did you guys hear," Audrey started loudly, "that Katie has not only slept with that Derek kid, but, like half the other boys in the school? She is such a slut." As usual, all I could do was sit and laugh, no matter how bad I felt. This just kept happening the whole time we were there, but then the worst came. "So you know that kid Derek that that loser Katie has been dating for the past year?" We all nodded, waiting for her to continue. "Well just last week I walked in on him and Lynn doing it in the janitor's closet." At the table next to us we watched Katie jump up and make a beeline for the bathroom, tears stinging her eyes. "Geez, what's her problem," Aubrey innocently said, as if she didn't know.1055Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8PLutydJQ
I abruptly stood up and started walking away. That was it. I could take the insults and the stories about Katie, but making her cry was taking it a step too far. I ran to the bathroom as soon as I was out of Aubrey's sightline, wanting to get there as fast as possible.1055Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv7zAujFiCx
As soon as I got in the restroom, I looked around, and, not seeing Katie, I stayed quiet, hoping to hear her crying or something to indicate she was in here. Then I found my indicator. There was one stall with a closed door. I knew she had to be in there, and she wasn't just here to use the bathroom. I shimmied my way under the door, stood up, and looked around. I screamed. The sight before me was so horrific I couldn't take it. The next thing I knew I was out cold.1055Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4wuMYnuqfm
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"Julia? Julia, where are you?" I could hear someone calling my name, I just couldn't tell who. Where was I, anyway? "Julia, is that you in there?" Slowly I began to comprehend everything. I was in a bathroom at the Dairy Farm with all of my friends. But why was I on the ground? And why was Jess looking for me? "Julia? Are you okay?"1055Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEeJOjnmJMM
"Jess? Ya, Jess, I'm fine, I think." I slowly stood up and unlocked the door. When the stall door swung open, Jess came running at me.1055Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRCVNWCA5aa
"God, I was so worried about you!"1055Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmPc2h2LSO6
"What happened?" I asked.1055Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuYXcnanG0V
"What do you remember?" She replied.1055Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCfgdN1l9SZ
"Just that we came to Dairy Farm."1055Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTv7YYpXkMs
"Oh, Julia. Audrey was making fun of Katie and then she said Katie's boyfriend was cheating on her and then Katie ran in here and you followed her and you've been gone for an hour and what is that smell?" She blurted out. "I'm so sorry."1055Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4uecnfen2
"It's okay, it's not your fault," I reassured her. "Seriously though, what is that smell?"1055Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSXLYzYd2ju
"It smells like blood," was the response. Everything came rushing back and I gasped, my eyes filling with tears. "What's wrong?" Jess asked.1055Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1rNu4Q5gn1
"She-she's gone," I whispered. It was too unreal to believe.1055Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhTZMtjy3jl
"What do you mean?"1055Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xFZdY3TgQ
"Omigod, she's gone," I was still trying to process it. Now it made sense why I was lying on the cold bathroom tile. "I-I followed Katie in here, and when I got here there was just one stall occupied. I-I couldn't hear anything so I went into the stall and-and-and she's gone." I tried to explain. "Katie killed herself."
The next 24 hours were just a blur for me, and I suppose it was because I was still shocked Katie would do something like this to herself. She was always so happy and energetic, not the first person you would think would commit suicide. I was taken in to the police for questioning, but all I could tell them was that I went into the stall and saw Katie lying on the ground surrounded by her blood and tears, her old pocketknife stuck in her chest and cuts all over her body. I suppose she wanted to look at herself one last time before she left this world, and all those cuts just pushed her over the edge.1055Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8mPxdxtDk
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A few days later I went back down to the police station to ask how long ago she started cutting, if they could tell, because there were too many cuts for her to have just started this year. A few days later they told me that Katie had been cutting herself since 8th grade, and had stopped this year. Ever since she had started going out with Derek she had been cutting herself. Then she just stopped when I left her, and a year later committed suicide. I tried to reason with myself and figure out why she did it, but there seemed to be no other reason other than she was just depressed. It just makes me sad that she was my best friend through those horrible years when she was cutting herself and she didn't feel like we were close enough for her to come to me. I just don't understand. I never knew why she hid it from me.
