After a quick bath and translating the response from my parents, I held the finished letter in my hands. Hamish had left the letter in the lady’s secret compartment in my vanity dressing table. Every vanity had one, a nation-wide movement that had taken my ancestors generations to accomplish. I lay on my bed in my shift, the letter held at arms-length out for me to read.
Dearest Starlight,
We perhaps underestimated the observant nature of the lord – thinking his kind nature would hinder his abilities, especially in the midst of your beauty. Deceptive beauty is alluring, but only for a short while. A kind heart is patient, but perhaps not as foolish as one would wish.
You have choices.
You could drug him, but I sense he would not respond well to it or has taken measures to protect himself.
You could lie to him, but again, this is a risky path to take for a long term.
Or, you could trust his character. See what he wants and use it to coat your words. I officially give you permission to reveal your identity to him – however you must find a way to bind him in loyalty as I have done with your father. Make your future so tied to his that he would rather die than part with you. Whether out of love, honour, commitment, or blackmail.
Remember, a man needs to feel valued, considered, and honoured. Reward his pride, for a man is rash when he feels his love does not consider him at least her equal.
It is okay to love him. But not in exchange for your senses. Choose well.
I will see you soon,
Mama.
I stared at the letter in disbelief, sure I had translated it wrong. The matriarch had given me permission. Done so as casually as though I was worried over a trifle matter. A matter I had been trained to hide at all costs. My mind whirled, wondering at the possibilities. For a moment I wondered how my parents would have faired had she not told him. Had my father not accepted her. I remembered my grandmother, her taste in men various and many. Had my mother not wanted that for me?
Sarah watched on, waiting for my orders. What should I do? Sometimes I forget who I am, surrounded by sashes and brightly coloured gowns. I forgot my training was unusual, that I could kill if needed. What road should I walk down?
“Tell him.” Sarah said, coming to sit on my bed.
“I did.” I whispered, remembering how his blue eyes had looked at me – fearful, but wanting.
“So, you’ve had your rehearsal then.” Sarah shrugged.
“He looked… scared of me. The younger me would have relished in it. That feeling of knowing I could turn a man’s legs to jelly.” I think… I think I’m falling in love with you.
“But now?”
“Now, I feel cheated. If there were ever a man… one I would want to understand that I would never hurt him… it would be Tomas.”
Sarah gave me a long silent look, considering her next words, “and what of Hamish?”
“I cannot hold onto my childhood forever.” I said. My heart ached as I considered my words, knowing them to be a lie. I would happily return to the world of Lanie if given the choice.
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Hamish: 280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9XOb8u1IKi
I sat outside Madelaine’s door, head against the frame. Sarah had left the door slightly ajar; I had no doubt it was on purpose. There was none more loyal to their lady than Sarah, none so clever or gifted. She would put the needs of Laine before anyone else’s – even if it pained them both.
I cannot hold onto my childhood forever.
I sighed, climbing to my feet and walking down the hallway. I had joined the pointless search for the curvy spy, knowing if she was anything like the reputation she held – would be long gone. The Wolf Pack was one of the few remaining gangs left after the king had decimated the countryside. If men survived the purging, they were forced into army recruitment. I remembered the soldiers coming into towns and cities, carrying off men to join his armies. Being part of a family that served the Elwoods for generations had saved me, already considered conscripted to the empire. The land had suffered without hands to master over it, and so everyone suffered.
But Lanie… little Lanie had no idea the troubles of the common man. She had been a spot of sunshine in an overcast world. She had been my charge, my playmate, my love. I kept walking, eager to be outside confining walls of the castle. Guards switched; servants ran about getting the evening meal ready. Would serving Madelaine drive me mad? Would my eager, painful heart finally give her away? My mind cruelly threw me back into memories, of young fourteen-year-old Madelaine.
“Look Ham! I did it!”
“I’m busy standing guard you know…. did what Laine?”
“My first forget-me-not potion!” She said proudly, twirling around with the bottle, “If I make you drink it, you’ll forget the last ten minutes of your life!” She suddenly seemed concerned, looking at the bottle, and then at me, “What if someone does that to me?”
“Then I will remember for you.”
“Because you’re a protector! My bodyguard!”
“Your family’s.” I corrected patiently.
“Mine!” She said, crossing her arms, “I’ll prove it to you!”
She leaned closer, wrapping an arm around my neck and kissed me. She stood back, giggling at my face. “Now we should drink this potion, so our hearts don’t get in trouble!” She declared, unstoppering it and taking a sip, her eyes glazing as she passed it to me. As she fell, I dropped the bottle, letting it smash against the grass as I caught her. I will remember for you.
Madelaine:
He was where he said he would be, lounging in his chair reading reports. He had Dagger’s parchment dangling from one hand as he read a report on his knee.
“Nice to see you restored to your natural state.” He said without looking up, putting the report down to look up at me.
“Is that your way of saying nice to see you?” I asked, moving towards him. He watched me the way you watched wild animals, intently with a spark of fear in those beautiful blue eyes. He said nothing as I came forward, kneeling beside his chair to look up at him. He saw through it for what it was, a strategy to make him feel bigger and in control. I could see the knowledge it in his eyes, in the amused crinkle lines around his mouth. We both knew in that moment I had to give him something, or any longing he had would quickly turn cold with distrust.
Deceptive beauty is alluring, but only for a short while.
I sighed, considering my options. It took a moment to know I could not lie to him. It left a foul taste in my mouth to drug him, hindering his mind and dulling those gorgeous eyes. I looked up to see him watching me thoughtfully, catching me and holding me there.
“You were there, when she wrote that.” I said softly, motioning to Dagger’s parchment, “you had said it was a good idea.”
He moved from his chair, sliding down to the floor. The movement shocked me, my strategic move not only dismissed, but communicated that he wanted to be equal with me. The subtle battle we waged with our bodies resulted in a blush creeping across my cheeks.
“Did I?” He murmured, “it is a good idea – and a plausible story is outlined in the ink.”
“It’s all true.” I shrugged, “then Dagger took a tonic that made her forget her time talking to us. And she fled – as was the bargain struck. Though I doubt she remembers that either.”
“What are you telling me?” He asked softly, “that I should trust you?”
I shook my head, though he drew closer to me. A lord on his knees beside a lady, both dismissing the chairs around us. An odd and confusing sight.
“Then what Madelaine?”
Leap. A voice whispered inside me. Leap.
“…I.” Then I pulled him towards me, my hands moving before my mind had caught up. My hands left his tunic to his shoulders, pulling him closer. He moved willingly, confused but willing as he fell forward on his hands and knees.
“Madelaine?” He asked, watching me. I shook my head and kissed him. This wasn’t a passionate kiss, or a demanding one. It wasn’t speaking of deception or means to an end. It was clean, sweet, and warm. He leaned into it, a willing participant as I moved into him. He fell backwards onto his heels and pulled me into his embrace. I pulled back an inch, tilting my face up to his.
“I have to tell you something.” I whispered.
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