Hey, I had a big bed!
Very, very...nice looking bed...but that wasn't important.
Well, guess it was important, if I thought about it.
Huh.
"And there you go," Scorvis said, finally being able to go back to his pre-prepared speech.
Good for him!
"You're uniforms in the closet, and my house keeper should be waiting on you in the main room!"
"Whoa, this is cool!" Daliana said, and I wished I could see her smiling.
"Kinda, not as cool as our real room, though!" Taz mentioned, and I could almost feel his arm wrapped around me.
"Yeah, mhm," I said, feeling rather empty, and Scorvis must have thought I was responding to him, because he said,
"Wonderful, wonderful. Good day, miss!"
"Yeahthankswhateverbye," I said, waiting for him to be off, before I really started to grin.
"It's kinda empty, don't you guy's think?" I demanded, grinning, arms open as I looked around.
That awful feeling of emptiness was still there.
It was real.
It was where I would have to stay.
And that hurt.
Daliana went around, opening all the drawers and exploring every little thing, even if it was bland.
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"Yeah, it'll get better soon, as long as we're here!" Taz said, wrapping an arm around me that I couldn't feel.
"Yeah, haha...ha...ha," I said, something deep in my stomach twisting, but I ignored it.
S o m e o n e m a k e i t s t o p
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--
I took a shower where Scorvis had showed me too, which felt oh so nice, then got dressed into my uniform.
The dress was nice-ish, a normal--sleeveless- trickster uniform, certainly more comfortable then a prisoner's outfit.
Ironic, considering that was almost exactly what it was!
I'd never put one of them on before, I wanted to see what it looked like on me!
It had been a while since I'd gotten a new dress, and seeing myself in them had always been my favorite part!
But...it had...been a while since I'd looked into a mirror.
Well...maybe it would be ok just this one time.
Just to see what it looked like on me!
So I turned around, and for the first time in months, I looked into a mirror.
I saw what I looked like.
And time stopped.
Because the girl I saw in the mirror wasn't me, it couldn't be.
I looked like...a...
M o n s t e r .
Tears suddenly stung out my eyes, and without thinking, in a fit of rage I punched the mirror, breaking it into a hundred tiny glass shards.
Hollow satisfaction hit me for that moment.
For that one moment.
But then blood poured out of small cuts in my hand--what did I think would happen?-- and I had to bite back a shriek.
My stupid reaction happened so quickly that it was like a switch flipped.
My stomach flipped over, and I could hear my heartbeat throbbing...throbbing in my ears.
It was so loud I thought I might go deaf, and all I could see was the blood oozing out of the cut.
I needed to get it off, I needed to
g e t i t O F F!
I couldn't breathe, it was like there was a huge weight on my chest, and suddenly I felt like I might faint.
It was so awful and sticky...and I saw...flashes, that made my stomach flip.
Again, and again, and again, and again, why did I have to see it every day?
Why couldn't it just stop?
It wasn't fair!
My breath got faster and faster, as I carefully wrapped my ripped hand in some of the tissues that sat on the table, narrowly avoiding cutting my foot on the broken glass.
I came to Tazan, crying, with a huge cut on my hand, just a little girl.
He wiped off my tears and carefully bandaged the cut, with gentle, tough hands.
But still, I whimpered in scathing pain and fear when the potion burned against the cut.
Until Tazan smiled at me, this big goofy grin that said he would make it all better.
I
felt
safe
"Hey, don't be scared, kid! It's gonna be ok! You're big bro's right here!"
It was all going to be ok.
Except it wasn't.
I felt tears fall down my cheeks when my scar's burned.
I was standing in a dark servant's room, alone: I was completely alone.
"Please..." I whispered to the empty room.
"Please, you gotta come back."
My legs gave out from under me, and I slid down to the cold, marble floor.
"Y-you p-promised," I sobbed, trying to smile.
"You promised I'd n-never be able to get rid of you. You aren't giving up, are you?"
I put my head on my knees, trying and failing to hold back my tears.
"I can't do it without you...."
I can't do it I can't do it I can't do it I can't do it I can't do it I can't do it I can't do it I can't do it I can't do it I can't do it I can't do it I can't do it I can't do it I can't do it I can't do it I can't do it I can't do it I can't do it
I
can't
do
it.
Something deep inside me cracked even further, and I let it--let it wash over me and stop the pain.
And then I laughed, a smile stretching across my cheeks.
No, it wasn't ok--nothing would ever be ok again, but why should that be such a problem?
Why even try to be normal, to be the way I was when I knew it wasn't gonna happen?
Why not just laugh?
It was kinda funny if ya thought about it!
I used to be such a powerful princess, and now look where I was!
The irony was funny if you thought in the third person, right?
I took a deep breath, and forced my exhausted legs to prop me up, as I kept a hand on my aching neck.
Maybe I could get some extra pain-killers?
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I wondered, wiping off my silly tears so no one else could see, and then skipping out of my room to meet whoever it was.
Took a turn to the left, to find the meeting hall, where a nice old lady was waiting for me.
Heck, she looked even older than me and Scorvis combined!
"Ah, hello, my dear!" She said, talking lightening fast, and a huge waft of perfume hit me.
She stood up from the living room chair where she was waiting and curtsied with her far to big dress on.
"It's wonderful to meet you, Madam!"
Awww she was one of the no fun, all rules, one!
"Booo!!" I could hear Daliana complain, sticking her tongue out.
It made me laugh again, that painful hole in my chest aching.
She pulled her hand out for me to shake,
"My name is Mariennete, however you may call me Marie."
"Madeline, at you're service! Hope you've heard of me, I hear I'm pretty popular!"
"Yes, of course I recognize you, You're Highness," She said, just as quickly as before.
"Now honey, I'm The Housekeeper!"
"And why should I care?"
"Now little missy," She said, waving her finger like I was a naughty child, and not an adult here for murder.
I could see why Scorvis liked her!
"I'd really reccomend you do, I'd hate for someone to have more chores...."
She winked, and gave a wicked grin that could challenge my own.
She reminds me of mom... a thought whispered in my mind, but I surpressed it.
"Haha! Interesting hypothetical, you got there!"
"Indeed, indeed, darling! Now, honey, I'm gonna show you around the place, since I assume His Majesty didn't?"
"Correct-o-mundo."
"One presumed so," She sighed.
"Well, come along dear, I'll teach you a few things while we're at it."
She grabbed my hand, intertwining my fingers with her soft ones, and I felt myself very briefly untense.
"Great, hey, by the by?"
"Mhm?"
"How come you're here during the day, thought all the servants came at night!"
"Indeed, His Majesty decided that a little while ago."
I thought I heard her mutter something in her own language that I recognized as: "Silly boy."
Oh, yeah, I thought I remembered her being Scorvis' governess years and years ago.
Explained why she was so old.
Then she smiled and said, "But I decided against it."
I burst out laughing from how unexpected that was.
"Congrats on having a backbone, pally!"
"Mmmm manners, Madeline. You are a princess, you should know them well."
Marie said, and I froze in my tracks, my eyes narrowing, and I thought I saw her face soften slightly.
And then I just laughed, I laughed so hard I had to stop and grip my stomach, tears in my eyes.
She was so funny!
For someone who spoke so well, you'd think she'd be a little smarter!
"Well I don't know if you noticed, but I'm not anymore, buddy! That princess is long gone!"
Marie grabbed onto my hand, and stopped my laughter.
I grinned savagely, staring right into her eyes, and she stared right back, the lines around her eyes crinkling.
"Honey...you're a liar," She murmured, taking both of my hands.
What the--?
"Haha, well, you got that right, Mars!" I said, flinching away from her touch.
"Just not about this one thing."
She gave me a sure look, but cleared her throat.
"Well, to answer you're question, me and a few other neccesary people were allowed to stay during the day! Now you as well!"
She beamed at me so brightly, it almost made a genuine smile appear on my lips.
"It'll be nice to have some more company, and I'm sure His Highness will appreciate it!"
We went along, as she casually showed me all the areas in the palace which I would totallly remember.
All except for one room, very near Scorvis' quarters, which I made a note of.
I'd have to check it out later.
"Now hon, you're job is to be Scorvis' personal servant, so anything he needs, you get," She explained, and I noticed the bells in each room, that could call me to any area in the house.
Wonderful.
This was gonna be great, I was sure.
"Such as doing mending, bringing food, things to that nature."
"Yeah, I got the general idea of it!"
"Well then," She said.
"Good luck, and welcome to you're new home!"
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