All eyes on me… Seriously ??128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxApuYeGWC
The whole drinking alcohol “thing” didn’t just end there. It somewhat followed me home.
Whenever I was down in the dumps, I would drink a little amount of the Explorer alcohol at night, enough to knock me out for the night.
When I was somewhere, something happened that made so many people expect me to cry, but I didn’t cry. I was just being quiet because I was just contemplating what was going on.
I was told by so many people to just cry and let it all out, but I had no tears whatsoever. But little did people know that I rarely cried in front of so many people. Again, crying for attention wasn’t my thing.
So, some people were told to hang around me until I cried, because people thought that I was going to do something jaw-dropping or something unthinkable if I was ever left alone.
So, soon after sunset, there wasn’t any electricity, and I then decided to slip away from people who were hovering around me.
Yeah, I know. It turns out people’s attention span roots don’t run that deep. I waited until people had forgotten all about me, then I ran away from home.
I was walking alone at night when it hit me—about all that was going on. Like I said, it turns out that either I get to “feel” or I don’t get to feel stuff. So, at that point in time, I was feeling hurt on the inside, and I wanted it to stop. Because it was hurting both physically and mentally.
So, I went to the supermarket and bought the Explorer alcohol, which I had bought the last time I had first drank alcohol.
I've always looked so many years, or more like, more than five years younger than my age group, ever since I was young. So, when I was at the shop till, people were asking me, "Wasn’t I a little young to be drinking alcohol?”
But since I was way out of it, I never answered anyone. I just showed my ID to the till operator. I bought the thing and just walked out. So, I went back home, and some boys saw me walking back home. They were sitting outside the gate.
When I got to where they were sitting, they actually told me that people thought that I was still around somewhere in the house and that no one had any idea that I had gone out to the shops and left.
So, I told the boys who were with me that it didn’t matter anyway if people knew it or not, because I didn't want people to know about my whereabouts. After talking to them, I walked back into the house, avoiding the dining room, where most people were seated.
I went straight to my bedroom. When I got to my bedroom, I saw, blurringly, since it was dark in the room, tons of people's stuff and bags on my bed. On the floor, there wasn’t even any space to step on.
In the past, I would have cared about that and tidied up my room, but in that moment, I was way out of it to even care about that in the slightest.
I then took the alcohol I had bought and put it in my big bottle to drink. I just took it and drank it like that, without mixing it with any juice. It did hurt my throat and chest to drink it all up without diluting it, but like I said, I was just way out of it to care about that.
After drinking most of it, I then passed out on top of the tons of things that were on the floor in my bedroom. In the middle of the night, someone came into my room and tried to wake me up.
She asked me, How did I end up sleeping on the floor and not on my bed ? I did not answer her. I just didn’t feel like talking at that point in time. She removed everything that was on my bed and told me to get off the floor and sleep on my bed.
Even though I was way out of it, I don’t even know how I managed to get onto my bed. I don’t even remember covering myself with my sheets and blankets because I just threw myself onto my bed.
Odds are she might have put something on top of me to cover me, because I felt something heavy on top of me after I was lying in bed.
It turns out I did cry a few days later alone, just because I knew people were obviously going to ask me if I did cry eventually, because it definitely seemed important to them that I should shed tears of some sort. And of course, you might be wondering why I would have bothered and not just told them that I did even if I hadn't, but...
Truth be told, I despise falsifying information. After all, all information is so delicate that if you use it wrongfully, you might end up cutting through someone like a double-edged sword.128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAXYckzJrPR
