I don’t remember Chevalier coming back to his room that night. I remember the clean nightgown Theresa left folded neatly on his bed for me, and I remember the sudden weariness that came over me as soon as I changed into it. All the energy I felt when Jin woke Chevalier and me up in the library vanished in an instant. It had been a trying, stressful day, and I just wanted to go back to sleep.
So, I crawled under the covers on my side of the bed, and that’s what I did.
And when I woke up the next morning, I was in the middle of the bed, cuddled up with Chevalier.
That put an immediate smile on my face.
I propped myself up on my elbow, looking down at his sleeping form. The bright rays of morning sunshine streaming through the windows above his bookcases highlighted his pale blonde hair with gold and made his eyelashes glisten against his fair skin. I reached out to brush his fringe back from his face, but my hand froze in midair. He woke easily. I bit my lip, and then I moved my fingers closer, touching his hair lightly. He didn’t stir. I combed his fringe back, hesitantly at first, gaining confidence as he remained sound asleep. Riding all night through a torrential rainstorm the night before last, only sleeping a few hours before he got up early in the morning to work all day without stopping, and then Jin waking us up in the library last night - he had to be exhausted.
He looked so innocent and peaceful like this. His relaxed, smooth face seemed almost angelic.
I ran my fingers through his hair again, wondering how long he stayed in the kitchen with his brothers, wondering if the peace and tranquility would vanish the moment he woke up. Would he have to become the Brutal Beast when he left this room? Would he have to stain his white cloak with blood?
I lay down again, cuddling up to him and pulling the blankets over us. He wasn’t the Brutal Beast now. Now, he was just the man I loved, and worn out from protecting and caring for me. It wasn’t much, but maybe my staying would help him sleep better. I didn’t have anywhere to be, anyway.
Morning passed by as we slept, the warmth of summer increasing gradually until an uncomfortable stuffiness under the blankets woke me later. I pushed the covers back, considering if I wanted to get up now or stay a little longer, and Chevalier’s fingers dug into my waist at my slight movement. When I looked over at him, his eyes were still closed. I smiled and settled in next to him again.
“Are you awake now?” I asked softly.
He sighed and rolled over to face me, hugging me to his chest and nuzzling into my hair.
“No.”
He really was adorable when he first woke up.
“But you’re talking,” I pointed out, reaching up to comb my fingers through his hair again. He shifted his head on the pillow next to mine, moving closer to signal me to keep going.
“You talk in your sleep,” he mumbled.
“Only when I’m having nightmares,” I said. I rubbed the pad of my thumb across an imaginary line between his brows, then back up through his hair and down to the back of his neck. “Are you having a nightmare?”
He sighed again and opened his eyes. Warmth and drowsiness mixed to create the sweetest expression in that crystalline blue, and the soft smile on his lips only made it sweeter.
“No.”
One day, my heart might actually explode when he gave me that look. It was the look that said I was the only person who mattered to him, the look that made me feel like I was the only person in the world. I leaned in to give him a light kiss, smiling against his lips.
“Good morning, Chevalier.”
He brushed my hair back behind my ear and returned the kiss. “Good morning, Ivetta.” The corner of his lip turned up just slightly. “If it’s still morning.”
Was it? I’d have to get up if I wanted to see the clock, and I really didn’t care that much about the time. Or getting up.
“You can go back to sleep if you’re still tired,” I said, continuing to thread my fingers through his hair. “And I can make you breakfast later. Or lunch. Whichever you want.”
He shook his head. “No, you spent enough time in the kitchen yesterday.” His hand came up to my face, stroking my cheek with the back of his finger. “And I need to get up.” His finger trailed from my cheek to trace around my lips, and his eyes followed it, the drowsiness fading as his fingers slid under my chin. “Eventually.”
I closed my eyes for his gentle kiss. He followed it with another, shifting closer to me and sliding his hand around to cradle my head, his arm flexing against my back to bring me flush with him as he cupped my waist with his other hand. My fingers stopped when they exited his hairline at the back of his neck, splaying across his skin as I clutched at his shirt. His kisses became a little more intense, the touch of his hands roaming across my back and around to my waist a little hotter through my nightgown, but I didn’t mind at all. He pulled back with a sigh long before I was ready.
“Chevalier?” I asked, opening my eyes in confusion. Frustration clouded his. He closed them for just a moment, the imaginary line I’d smoothed earlier between his brows now very real. I felt my heart drop.
“If you have to go…” I said, trying to hide my disappointment.
He groaned and shoved me onto my back, pinning me beneath his weight with an intense gaze.
“It can wait.”
Then his lips met mine in a passionate kiss that sent a thrill from the tips of my toes to the top of my head. There was almost a fury to him, an urgency, as if he had a hunger he couldn’t sate, but it didn’t threaten me at all. He was still following all the rules. The sparks trailing across my skin from his touch were all within the bounds of safety and comfort for me. The kisses stealing my breath and drawing soft moans from my throat would stop if I said the word. Not that I wanted him to stop. Quick gasps for air between kisses kept me afloat amidst the increasingly dizzying waves of pleasure washing over me, and I was panting for air when his lips wandered along my jaw to my ear.
“Tell me when you’ve had enough,” he breathed, his low, husky voice sending a shiver down my spine.
“Not yet…”
He chuckled and nibbled at my ear, making me gasp. “Good.”
Being close to him felt so right, and sometimes, it almost felt like I couldn’t get close enough. His kisses left me yearning for more, his touch was all I wanted, and, bit by bit, he was replacing every horrible interaction with Jack and reclaiming me for himself. I never thought that would happen. I never thought I’d even want to be with a man, and yet, here I was, wanting to forget all about Jack, so there was nothing between Chevalier and me anymore.
Jack still lingered, though. I felt him when Chevalier’s hand slid down my hip to my outer thigh, and I flinched away.
“Stop,” I panted.
He’d already removed his hand, reacting to my reflexive movement before the word left my mouth, and he rolled off of me and drew me into a soothing embrace. I squeezed my eyes shut and buried my face in his chest, focusing on the way it rose and fell as his breathing slowed gradually to normal. If I concentrated on that, on matching my breaths with his, the pounding of my heart in my ears would die down, eventually.
He kissed the top of my head. “Ivetta,” he murmured, still breathless. “You’re safe.”
I nodded. Fear had overtaken the pleasure and excitement from before, but even in my hazy, confused thoughts, I knew he was right. I could cling to him until this was over, relying on him to be the steady rock I needed to ground me.
His fingers threaded through my hair, and he sighed. “I should have stopped sooner.”
Guilt stabbed at my heart. “It’s not your fault,” I whispered.
He rested his head on mine, wrapping himself tightly around me as I curled into him, safe and out of reach from everything and everyone in the world.
“It’s over,” he said. “You can resume your usual routine.”
It took me a moment to realize what he was saying. The anxiety said it wasn’t over, I was still afraid, but he wasn’t talking about the imagined threat of a few minutes ago. He was talking about the real threat from yesterday.
“Really?” I asked, daring to let a spark of hope ignite in my chest.
“But I should warn you that Gilbert is here, so if you feel more comfortable staying in my room until he leaves, you’re welcome to do so.”
The pounding in my ears was dying down. I took a long, deep breath, in and out.
“But…he wouldn’t…he didn’t...have anything to do with…what was going on, did he?”
“No, he doesn’t want you dead. There was Obsidianite involvement, however, which he recognized and addressed at the same time Nokto realized the extent of the problem here. He came back with Jin last night to apprise me of the situation.”
Another deep breath. The irrational panic was fading as Chevalier explained the rational fear away, stroking my hair in a consistent, rhythmic pattern. I was safe with him, here in the palace, and in the rest of Rhodolite. Everything would be okay.
“He won’t try to manipulate me into leaving you again, will he?” I asked in a small voice.
The beat of silence before Chevalier responded told me I surprised him. “You knew.”
I nodded. “Not at first. At first, I thought he was just a horrible monster, but when I thought of everything he’d done and said to me before, and the way he responded to my questions - or didn’t, I guess - I realized it was probably just another trick.” I paused. “Although he may still be a horrible monster.”
Chevalier chuckled. The sound rumbled through his chest and into my ear, easing the tension a little more.
“Horrible monster or not, he has good taste,” he said, kissing the top of my head again. “I doubt he’ll try anything this time. Recent events have put everyone on high alert where you are concerned.”
I took another deep breath and opened my eyes, looking up at him. “If you don’t think he’ll be a problem, I can go back to sleeping in my room. I think that would be better for both of us. But just…be available.”
He smiled and kissed my forehead. “Of course.”
“So…this means the engagement ceremony can go forward as planned?”
He nodded. “And whatever you wanted to do the day after.”
I rested my cheek against his chest and wrapped my arms around his torso. “What about the day before? Since you’re not away for business now.”
“Fine.”
A comfortable silence fell between us. He was still stroking my hair, and I closed my eyes again, content to lie here a little longer. Once we got up, life would start. I’d have to send for Theresa to bring me clothes and help me get ready, and she’d question me relentlessly about what Chevalier and I were doing all morning. Then I’d have to stop by Sariel’s office to see what ‘resuming my routine’ looked like, since this upset my entire schedule, and I still had to talk to Nokto, too. And Licht. I didn’t know what I’d say to either of them, but I felt like I should say something.
It could all wait just a little longer.
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