Self Portrait in a Convex Mirror152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEnGODmIngF
Life has become a dull and monotonous routine for me. I get up, get dressed, and put on a brave face for the world.
I do sometimes leave the house and walk down the same street I've walked for years.
I'm walking through life with no purpose, no missions, no goals, and no destination.
Questions keep on piling up about my purpose, my missions in life, if any goals in particular exist, and if I have any destinations in mind.
I don't have any answers. None. I used to have all the answers, but now... well, nothing..
I had plans. I had written it all down. I had that spark. That vision I had envisioned for myself, but of course, when you are young, you actually wouldn't know what plans your future has for you.. so..
So yeah, the future happened.. And of course, 'grown ups' had whatever they wanted happen, and I might have given up in the past on setting goals in life if people were just going to go ahead and trample on them..
I guess it is my fault I turned myself into a drifter. Now I don't know whether I'm coming or if I'm going..
Some old guy in the past actually called me a vagabond, and I might have taken offence to that..
But of course, me being me, the old man didn't even know that had actually hurt me, because I just smiled and tried to brush that conversation off..
Looking back right now.. I'm now realising that the old strager was onto something..
That's the issue with these things. If fixing time would work with glue, I would have tried to acquire some glue somehow to fix this, but even glue can't fix time..
Now my days drag on and on, feeling like there's nothing to look forward to.
The same people, the same conversations, the same sights—nothing ever changes.
I used to feel excited when I left the house, but now it feels like I'm just going through the motions.
I've been feeling disheartened and lonesome, as though I'm missing out on something bigger and better.
The loneliness is almost unbearable. I don't have anyone to talk to or confide in, and it's incredibly isolating.
I'm surrounded by people, but none of them share my thoughts or feelings. I feel like I'm the only one who understands the conundrum inside me.
I feel like I'm stuck in my same old world, unable to break free and explore what the world has to offer.
Everything is the same, and I'm so desperately yearning to find something that will make me feel alive.
I used to have dreams and aspirations, but they seem so far away.
I'm stuck in this rut of unfulfilled expectations and overwhelming disappointment.
I can't seem to find joy in anything anymore. Nothing excites me or brings me joy, and it's becoming increasingly difficult to find meaning in my life.
I know that life doesn't have to be this way, but it feels like no matter what I do, nothing seems to help me break out of this rut.
It's disheartening that after all this time, I still haven't found my purpose or figured out what will make me truly happy.
I feel like I'm less than the wind, drifting aimlessly through my days, because...
I know at least the wind does blow from the north to the south or from the west to the east, thus meaning that..
At least anything or anyone can actually tell where the wind is coming from and where it is going.
I feel so disconnected from the world around me, as if I'm living in a dream that no one else can see.
I keep telling myself I'm okay. It's fine. Even if I'm not, because wishful thinking is what it is, wishful thinking.
It's just me trying to reach a point where I'm okay and a point where everything is just hunky-dory.152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7EcLQtHmZ7
