他穿裙子。47Please respect copyright.PENANAQ0AuWB9AZm
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「被告初犯,之前無任何定罪紀錄。根據醫生報告,被告患有易服癖。被告有悔意,選擇認罪,同時亦主動尋求治療,醫生……」47Please respect copyright.PENANAM36Icfby7W
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在女校廁所被發現的那個早上,他化了個淡妝,戴著及胸的黑色假髮,用綠色橡筋圈紥了個馬尾,身穿淡綠長裙,裙擺垂落在膝蓋上一厘米,露出了兩條給肉色的絲襪包裹著渾圓的腿,踩著一對黑色低跟鞋。他在外面又套了件楊柳色冷衫。綠色,象徵光明、希望。47Please respect copyright.PENANAopLStCvfNV
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他將近三十年沒有入過女廁。記憶中上次入女廁是三歲,媽媽帶他到置地廣場女廁,走進廁格關上門,狹小的世界就只賸下他和媽媽二人。他小雞雞比廁板矮,媽媽抱他到座廁上,讓他坐著尿;之後換成媽媽。流水淙淙,嘩啦嘩啦。47Please respect copyright.PENANA8lPlLuwXxy
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後來他再沒有見過媽媽,他問起父親媽媽呢,父親都只是沉默。47Please respect copyright.PENANAo1i6ebF2X4
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父親只會帶他到男廁,一個個男人站在鐵板牆前,彷似等待槍斃,父親拉他到行刑隊伍,說他已經長大,上廁所不應該再整條褲子脫掉,叫他拉開褲鏈掏出小毛蟲,用食指和中指夾緊,記緊泡完尿後要揈兩下。但他還未尿出來,來自身旁陌生男人的黃色液體已經流過他腳下。這是他和父親最溫馨的生活片段。其他記憶中的父親都是不快樂,只會一邊揮拳一邊罵他:「男人老狗係度喊,冇撚用。」47Please respect copyright.PENANAfgFDQg45L2
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中小學全年都穿長褲,可以埋藏傷痕。高中班上棗紅邊白裙比海軍藍長褲多。他坐在課室後排靠窗的角落,周圍是青春可愛的女生,但他三年只跟她們說過十七句話。他拿不出甚麼光明動人的東西和人交換,只喜歡獨自坐在窗邊發怐愗。他偶爾望向班上的女生,她們總是幾個圍成一圈,碧碧芊芊地叫著,嬉笑擁抱,嗶哩吧啦,討論明星八卦化妝美容,相約週末看電影到迪士尼。她們穿著裙,坐下時雙手沿臀部開始往下摩娑,裙襬下是一雙雙雪白幼滑的腿,小息時紅影白紗在課室中搖曳擺蕩,時而似花含苞待放,時而像傘蓬鬆開張,此般閃亮動人。若換他穿上白裙,是否會同樣輕盈平順?47Please respect copyright.PENANAdmqveMyKV1
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後來他戀愛失敗,在床上躺了兩個月,想到自己不曾被愛,然後想通了:男人是泥,女人是水,只有女人才會被愛。47Please respect copyright.PENANAm6ril9uyGy
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於是他量了尺寸,在Uniqlo買了一條加加大碼藍色碎花連身裙。他走到鏡子前反覆看了兩天,裙子貼在他身上過於平瘠,欠缺了女子的豐盈。他上網看影片,在網店買了一個黑色蕾絲胸罩,用襪子塞滿。擺到鏡前照了半天,又發現裙子中間鼓起了一個瘤,他就用牛皮膠紙將黑毛蟲固定,往屁股後方塞襪子,再裹幾層絲襪。47Please respect copyright.PENANAdao4AYUjWO
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那年他廿五歲,擁有自己的裙,輕柔美麗,會在風中擺蕩。47Please respect copyright.PENANArTIqpuNnTU
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裙子自始成為他最張揚的秘密。他上班寡言埋首工作,是個不起眼的男子,下班後褪去長褲,塗上口紅,換上一襲輕飄飄的裙子,踩著高跟鞋,巍巍顫顫,任由紗影在睡床前、大街上搖曳、漫開。47Please respect copyright.PENANAAYC4qzZ6ir
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但途人鄙夷的目光,時常令他想起那些陰鬱的日子:他趴在桌上,班駁的腿上套著厚實的褲管,身旁聚攏了一群棗紅邊白裙,甜甜軟軟,平滑的腿疊在另一雙平滑的腿上,扭作一團。47Please respect copyright.PENANAiVt0pU5a23
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他假裝家長,從校服店分次買入女校的水手服、裙袍、格仔裙。他最喜歡一套淡綠色連色裙,頸圈抹茶綠格紋領帶,端雅而高亮。47Please respect copyright.PENANADPKZ9Htpmj
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三十歲生日,他揹著大背囊到綠裙子學校,聲稱跟班主任約好。踏進校門,忽爾一股芳芬的幽香撲鼻而至,他往草地望去,全是綁起馬尾辮的女學生,拖曳著白色綠色長裙。女生三個兩個,手挽著手,軟糯糯地黏成一堆,臉上揚起明媚的笑容,從他面前經過。47Please respect copyright.PENANAakkF3Pr3DM
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生命原來如此輕柔爛漫。47Please respect copyright.PENANApJgdursAKh
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學生上課,他走到三樓女廁,取出背囊裏的烏黑長髮,穿上校裙,繫了領帶,踩一雙亮麗的低跟鞋,再塗上粉底胭脂口紅,勾了個眉。他在鏡前揚起裙子,轉圈,扭腰,照了又照,照了又照,就等待小息鐘聲響起,然後走到草地,沒入到白光綠影之間。47Please respect copyright.PENANAWY75vL2bJD
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忽爾兩把女聲挨近,如銀鈴,越來越響。他衝進廁格。47Please respect copyright.PENANAAU2HOnRL62
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「我啱啱差啲恰著。」「我都冇聽,喺度望住周恩來後生張相,OH MY GOD!真係好靚仔!」有人進了他旁邊的廁格。原來女人如廁依然嗶哩吧啦,好奇妙。他坐在馬桶上,聽著流水淙淙響,嘩啦嘩啦,忽然想,她們是怎樣提起裙襬?47Please respect copyright.PENANAmELL9XWWeq
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心裏面的蟲脹大,咬癢著他。他毅然雙手攀在隔層板上,仰起,挨越⋯⋯此時其中一個女生抬頭瞧見了他,大喊:「邊個?」「人頭!上面有個人頭!」47Please respect copyright.PENANAnn2ltpZj8I
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他在尖叫聲中奪門而出,跑下樓梯,向校門奔去。47Please respect copyright.PENANAmMdu0SpAUc
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他越過草地時,陽光打在他校服上,風從他的雙腿間流過。綠裙在草地上晃蕩,如光,如傘,蓬揚地綻開。47Please respect copyright.PENANAKKOJGDbPa2
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青春甜軟而幼滑。47Please respect copyright.PENANAqxvG3vi3oV
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當晚他將裙腳裁短一厘米。他未知道自己第二天會被捕,他打算明天再去學校,為自己青蔥的女子校園生活留張倩影。47Please respect copyright.PENANAaVk6BZRNuO
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