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-免責聲明：故事內容涉及以人類加入妖怪食物鏈情節，純粹以現時生物學生態類比，只屬幻想與虛構，如有雷同實屬巧合 - 113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsq1FJTHiQv
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「喂，華仔。」條鬼佬以鬼佬腔廣東話叫我。「今晚有無節目？無就一齊去一野咬到d女一頸血啦？」113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAETbTY0USg
113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRTaDGXFfp
問返果時做咩咬鳩我？佢話，因為佢飲醉左酒喎。而家我焗住要同佢住。無計啦，就算嬲鳩佢咬鳩我，都要同返d生活習慣一樣既人往，做野起上黎方便d呀嘛。113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkhuBC6cmZ
113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVTngzc0fnD
「戇鳩仔先會用牙隊落人條頸，噴到成身都係。」我話。113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh6E9JBQRxR
113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkpXziLiePk
「哈哈，我係戇鳩仔。咁先好玩！」鬼佬話。其實鬼佬份人都幾nice，有少少英國紳士feel。不過鬼叫佢咬鳩我咩？咬鳩我我就屌佢架啦。113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ByvNqLQyO
113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFybNbKqWdt
鬼佬平時真係會著到成個吸血鬼咁，典型英國風格既吸血鬼。每年Halloween佢就最出位架啦。佢對於班本土派香港殭屍就好少理，因為佢吸親既，都係鬼妹。美國妹英國妹俄妹賓妹索高維亞妹，有邊種妹佢未食過？所以呢，佢又唔會話搶哂班殭屍風頭。有時真係想學下佢咁豁達。英國佬就係咁。BTW佢話佢最憎蘇格蘭吸血鬼。113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN3wDxbXFSr
113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DlXF2RMyO
我地住埋同一個單位，位於元朗某間村屋。如果你都住附近，不防留意下果有架老爺benz，就係我地所在既位置啦。咁當然唔會話埋你知咩車款啦:o)113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtDb4O09QH
113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgNoVRy4IL6
不過鬼佬佢佢從來唔會渣，因為佢會直接變蝙蝠飛去目的地，渣架車過老蘭？佢先唔會啦，過海好撚貴喎佢話。所以成日叫我郁下架車，費事電池無電，叫人黎救車又洗幾舊水。113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4mrzLlmQPM
113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKdpnFodRTW
（旁白：點解你地成日乜都話貴？）113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMxKibyEVm
113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtnMbTUNURN
屌啦，吸血鬼都要洗錢架！我地要一日2餐，一個月要飲一次人血，果兩餐唔係錢呀？仲有交租呢？燈油火蠟呢？香港做咩唔洗錢架？做吸血鬼，係香港仲難生存，都唔知邊忽有血！鬼佬就話唔洗點做野，幾百年前銀行D錢，今日仲收緊息，都咪話唔和味！至於我，就係雙失吸血鬼。113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL9PXjt5TcQ
失業、失戀。113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb8OP7lHOkE
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不過咁，呢部黑色 Benz都叫做變左我溝女既工具。113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjv7URrIcwl
113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPdpMZqeVIN
呀係，小姓劉，名叫做華仔，德華。因為我好鐘意做愛，所以d人又會叫我做愛德華，或者華仔。二十年前，1996年係24歲。今年，2016年，個樣仍然係24歲。113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmLnPvPcM1
113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7zayd10WbC
當年未有SARS，大學生好吃香。今年，大學生做慘過擔爛泥怪。我雖然用左十年時間，讀左個degree，但都唔知做乜好。我呢D夜行生物，除左看更都唔知做咩好囉。試過係老蘭d夜店做過一排bartender既，不過環境太嘈了，吸血鬼對耳唔多頂得順。113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwnOOvPLQTp
113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHGhcWOpjp2
但係，最近見左份新工，希望可以搵到食啦...我諗，應該都幾過癮既。113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡioON05r5GS
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「華仔下嘛，請坐。」一個著住西裝的女人話。113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcF82jbXDQS
113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx3SvkeSEaT
「..唔該。」我話。「可唔可以拉左個窗簾或者..較暗少少個燈。」113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNkmvHiH04H
113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ZfLbEgeZL
「先生，我都想請你除左副超先，我地先至可以繼續。」個女人話。113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Ep0Bz3CmZ
113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3bo4at7iN
超，除咪除！吸血鬼唔鐘意見光姐，唔代表見光會死。113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3fkKgWQVCO
113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe1XCcjJPQl
「愛德華先生，想請問下你對於你申請既職位，有幾了解？同埋有咩期望呢？」個女人問我。113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRApZVww8Vt
113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqb9poVaSBQ
「咩呀...殺人之嘛下嘛。」我話。113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZNIRu8DLeR
113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLaALjV8Gw
「你的確講得無錯...」女人話。「不過...我地指定要殺既人物，一定要以特定方法令佢死亡，唔係只係殺。你知啦，香港地呀嘛。」113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1X90JvAwkh
113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzu4xukkuO9
無錯，我見呢份工就係全職殺手。當然唔係上jobDB就搵到啦，點都要靠D門路先至搵到。（唔好問我邊度搵）113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ddNbU6xiM
113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWNynLQj3uw
（旁白：香港有殺手架咩？）113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJTL5Vtr1TQ
113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2kJunZ68kA
你地以為香港無殺手？哈哈，咁你地就錯了....你地自己睇下政府公佈既每年香港失蹤人口數字啦，每年穩定地有幾百人。我可以話，除左比我地呢類人外生物食左之外，都係殺手所為。113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVE2fJ3szaJ
113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ88iboaMIrT
「明既明既...」我話。「不過可唔可以舉少少例呢？」113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJGPENeWuK
113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC0F2DY0BQ7
「我地係你正式加入前，唔可以講太多。」女人話。113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhglQ33a25B
113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdt0hHpBBXa
「咁我加入囉。」我說。113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSMwlJ8WqNv
113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeKhLKwuVSC
「等等先....先生，我都未知道你適唔適合我地呢份工作。」女人企起身，指住一個紙板人。「我想請你係500米外，刺殺佢比我睇下。工具有哂係檯面，你可以用任何方法。」113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgjhLahkwv
113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8HIVRJwzfX
我望住檯上面，有刀有弓箭有球棒仲有支甜筒，就係無槍。113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb6PP66tG6b
113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1DLYrwsY8T
不過都好，比槍我反而唔識用。一個正常香港人有幾可掂過槍呀？113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2pDysRG3Xh
113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqpCxLpGtS7
「開始得未呀？」我問。113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB9AdU1C1f7
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女人點頭。113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡddh8vpU1ko
113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjdlj7fWkHG
難得有機會，我當然要玩返少少花招啦，豈有此理個女人睇少我？區區一個人類....睇少我？113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡceusdMRKnv
113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBSWIu5bLpb
「颯！」一下風聲，紙牌人既頭先經比我撕左落黎，係我手上。而我仍然企係原位。113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbqlVwhYQLZ
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「....」女人呆左。「你點做到架？」113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpwQgN0hMUG
113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM2jqudx1J5
「秘密。」我羅住個人頭放係我塊面前面當做面具。113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWPpiAXv9yi
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「....」女人開始好好奇。「起碼都話我知呢個係咩門派既武功？」113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4uCq0CebI
113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ51Jq4elCob
我轉一轉個方向再擺pose：「都係秘密。」113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpDHrNG1V5X
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