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-免責聲明：故事內容涉及以人類加入妖怪食物鏈情節，純粹以現時生物學生態類比，只屬幻想與虛構，如有雷同實屬巧合 - 141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlCC05YGWhx
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「喂，華仔。」條鬼佬以鬼佬腔廣東話叫我。「今晚有無節目？無就一齊去一野咬到d女一頸血啦？」141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Y0ZD16cMW
141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ15SmQyFaku
問返果時做咩咬鳩我？佢話，因為佢飲醉左酒喎。而家我焗住要同佢住。無計啦，就算嬲鳩佢咬鳩我，都要同返d生活習慣一樣既人往，做野起上黎方便d呀嘛。141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTbMhFruMkP
141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdLMLjJVUfs
「戇鳩仔先會用牙隊落人條頸，噴到成身都係。」我話。141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiRhZ8E4P58
141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡirjWUL1waa
「哈哈，我係戇鳩仔。咁先好玩！」鬼佬話。其實鬼佬份人都幾nice，有少少英國紳士feel。不過鬼叫佢咬鳩我咩？咬鳩我我就屌佢架啦。141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgUVj6qhsfZ
141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡssy5FolJGs
鬼佬平時真係會著到成個吸血鬼咁，典型英國風格既吸血鬼。每年Halloween佢就最出位架啦。佢對於班本土派香港殭屍就好少理，因為佢吸親既，都係鬼妹。美國妹英國妹俄妹賓妹索高維亞妹，有邊種妹佢未食過？所以呢，佢又唔會話搶哂班殭屍風頭。有時真係想學下佢咁豁達。英國佬就係咁。BTW佢話佢最憎蘇格蘭吸血鬼。141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLTDBXq2baL
141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj8K2AcHpzV
我地住埋同一個單位，位於元朗某間村屋。如果你都住附近，不防留意下果有架老爺benz，就係我地所在既位置啦。咁當然唔會話埋你知咩車款啦:o)141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8YQG8Vpqjw
141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5my5xMxva9
不過鬼佬佢佢從來唔會渣，因為佢會直接變蝙蝠飛去目的地，渣架車過老蘭？佢先唔會啦，過海好撚貴喎佢話。所以成日叫我郁下架車，費事電池無電，叫人黎救車又洗幾舊水。141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4kZ1HIwIbO
141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡehXlxA8BVY
（旁白：點解你地成日乜都話貴？）141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoreciFo8Io
141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1yQhoHtEt
屌啦，吸血鬼都要洗錢架！我地要一日2餐，一個月要飲一次人血，果兩餐唔係錢呀？仲有交租呢？燈油火蠟呢？香港做咩唔洗錢架？做吸血鬼，係香港仲難生存，都唔知邊忽有血！鬼佬就話唔洗點做野，幾百年前銀行D錢，今日仲收緊息，都咪話唔和味！至於我，就係雙失吸血鬼。141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8SPNkORWUU
失業、失戀。141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Pwf2EQnsg
141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ33bSlJf4qV
不過咁，呢部黑色 Benz都叫做變左我溝女既工具。141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdseBABRDCV
141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcajRLHEo1e
呀係，小姓劉，名叫做華仔，德華。因為我好鐘意做愛，所以d人又會叫我做愛德華，或者華仔。二十年前，1996年係24歲。今年，2016年，個樣仍然係24歲。141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPgl0dcFsFN
141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRAU0g3hYAa
當年未有SARS，大學生好吃香。今年，大學生做慘過擔爛泥怪。我雖然用左十年時間，讀左個degree，但都唔知做乜好。我呢D夜行生物，除左看更都唔知做咩好囉。試過係老蘭d夜店做過一排bartender既，不過環境太嘈了，吸血鬼對耳唔多頂得順。141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjeCXbuHpJ2
141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtXRQN4hExD
但係，最近見左份新工，希望可以搵到食啦...我諗，應該都幾過癮既。141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzwC08WX31
141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCQn0jymjYY
====================================================141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hFZekyC84
141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyYfR5uYjIZ
「華仔下嘛，請坐。」一個著住西裝的女人話。141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4uX31akgQ
141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLlgYtbwn8e
「..唔該。」我話。「可唔可以拉左個窗簾或者..較暗少少個燈。」141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZqiMHccc6J
141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1oDA3z85jW
「先生，我都想請你除左副超先，我地先至可以繼續。」個女人話。141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2U24qmcfGD
141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzTIYEa3HH
超，除咪除！吸血鬼唔鐘意見光姐，唔代表見光會死。141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPKh8vDNhsB
141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCRUsqtdlw7
「愛德華先生，想請問下你對於你申請既職位，有幾了解？同埋有咩期望呢？」個女人問我。141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2OXFUK4UXV
141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTb792yWK8i
「咩呀...殺人之嘛下嘛。」我話。141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡotmryIes8D
141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRDx7mrxzl4
「你的確講得無錯...」女人話。「不過...我地指定要殺既人物，一定要以特定方法令佢死亡，唔係只係殺。你知啦，香港地呀嘛。」141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdvy04iAxgM
141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVdFm2VpAyq
無錯，我見呢份工就係全職殺手。當然唔係上jobDB就搵到啦，點都要靠D門路先至搵到。（唔好問我邊度搵）141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9rNto7NM02
141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4KOpi8gEg
（旁白：香港有殺手架咩？）141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQH8QPB3QOZ
141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL2qlnPSRq5
你地以為香港無殺手？哈哈，咁你地就錯了....你地自己睇下政府公佈既每年香港失蹤人口數字啦，每年穩定地有幾百人。我可以話，除左比我地呢類人外生物食左之外，都係殺手所為。141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0x4Or0jeF9
141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn5B2bkIR43
「明既明既...」我話。「不過可唔可以舉少少例呢？」141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIyVyOWJns3
141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkgwyDdYe50
「我地係你正式加入前，唔可以講太多。」女人話。141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqR2hL3R4v7
141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg68P851Xme
「咁我加入囉。」我說。141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1oI7HcIakl
141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaXbI6lbbym
「等等先....先生，我都未知道你適唔適合我地呢份工作。」女人企起身，指住一個紙板人。「我想請你係500米外，刺殺佢比我睇下。工具有哂係檯面，你可以用任何方法。」141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOeHR3sI6Qi
141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhWhcBqFOI
我望住檯上面，有刀有弓箭有球棒仲有支甜筒，就係無槍。141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgU1Me4Iz7j
141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Qcw3ZPXUL
不過都好，比槍我反而唔識用。一個正常香港人有幾可掂過槍呀？141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvo0zOmUCao
141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJOSAHwRi9w
「開始得未呀？」我問。141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY80CyV90cY
141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbHwTnsd2hF
女人點頭。141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOWy5zOIQKD
141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbp33FAI5jz
難得有機會，我當然要玩返少少花招啦，豈有此理個女人睇少我？區區一個人類....睇少我？141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsjrsLJhogF
141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6VolqElUlK
「颯！」一下風聲，紙牌人既頭先經比我撕左落黎，係我手上。而我仍然企係原位。141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpNIuq0Kng8
141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3SI31KJsa
「....」女人呆左。「你點做到架？」141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDX6xcwDNnb
141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmf99fx8ad
「秘密。」我羅住個人頭放係我塊面前面當做面具。141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRV3xIfrOXD
141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6xkhiMLKzj
「....」女人開始好好奇。「起碼都話我知呢個係咩門派既武功？」141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ayHm95MC0
141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCZ1BNznHhw
我轉一轉個方向再擺pose：「都係秘密。」141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtF9YhAaEzT
141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlaV5I8Cwib
