He licked my entire earlobe, his tongue flicking gluttonously back and forth over my earhole. He was literally fucking my ear with his tongue, biting the cartilage gently as he went, licking to soothe the little tingling sensation of the bite, then licking again with more relish. He made a saliva bath of my ear and I loved it, God, I loved it.
"Hum Ry _ his tongue kept sucking on my bit of cartilage, biting then sucking_ fuck... arrrgh Ry, we could... hum... they can…they could see us..."
"I don't care."
I know the truth is that nobody would see us, or at least nobody would pay the slightest attention to us. We were in a bar, and to tell the truth, everyone was groping each other on the dance floor, some without underwear, without bras, their vaginas being pounded like a basketball game. Others were naked, blowing each other, a few gulping down beer, trading what little lucidity they didn't already have for a semblance of ecstasy and transcendence. It was a pornographic brothel. People fucked, drank, danced, touched, licked, sucked, smoked themselves breathless, drugged themselves... So they absolutely didn’t give a fuck about Ryan licking my ears _oh lord we can be so corny sometimes ugggh_ except that they would have smirked or worse offered to join in; like a threesome or an orgy. Oh fuck no, I don't share my man, least of all with dogs in heat.
I know the truth is that no one would see us. The glowing multicolored lights shielded us under their aura, and with the mess we were in, it would be hard for anyone to really know what we were doing. I was just embarrassed because we weren't the only ones at our table. Our whole group of friends was there, laughing, chatting, flirting, while I'm about to start moaning because Ryan doesn't know how to behave. Oh, this fool!
"Hummm Ry..."
He'd slipped his hand under my shirt and was now working on massaging my nipples. He pulled out a few fingers, smeared them with his saliva, and went back to kneading my nipples, which were hardening under his expertise. Oh fuck, that felt so good. Oh I want him to fuck me right now and I don't give a shit what our friends might think, well just for now that the fucking lasts because later it will be another thing...
"You like that, you want more?"
"Ry... arrgh"
"Beg me Mase, beg me and I'll fuck you right now, right here."
He continued to lick my ear as if his life depended on it, all the sensation of pleasure had warmed my chest and I wanted more than just a nipple caress. My dick had hardened, and my crotch was starting to hurt because fuck! He was torturing me.
"Say it baby, say it. Tell me you want me to take you right here, right now, to make you cum, to make you blush so much... to leave you..._ this time he had grabbed my long hair and between kisses, he recited his desire_ panting... screaming my name.... begging me... for another round."
"I want your face to be all red with embarrassment and desire.... I want your lips filled with my cum that I'll make you swallow with a mouthful of beer-..."
"Yes, Ry... Take me now. I can't take it anymore. Please fuck me. Arrrgh."
He'd sensuously put his fingers into his mouth, kissing them languorously, turned me abruptly face down on the bar's plush sofa, and without warning inserted his saliva-soaked fingers into my jeans and-....
“Mason... Mason... MASON!”
I flinched before recalibrating and regaining awareness of where I was.
“Yes... Yes, what’s wrong ?”
"WE are the ones supposed to ask you what's wrong. You haven't touched your bottle since we got here though-..."
"Yet he took a fucking sweet soda too. We're in a fucking bar and you're blowing us off for a fucking sweet soda. Be serious, man! How about a wine or a beer? You've gone soft, it's no fun!"
"Orrrh shut up you! Not everyone wants to get drunk like you. You're a fucking alcoholic."
"Oh Oh Oh _ Remy raises both hands in the air in surrender_ it's not my fault Mase's gone soft. Ever since Ryan died, he's been acting like a 90-year-old granny reliving menopause for the first time."
“REMY!”
“Oops... Sorry.”
I say nothing. Remy has always been an airhead, the clown of the group. He doesn't mince his words, always saying out loud what everyone else is thinking. I know they're all thinking the same thing. They're right, but am I to blame? None of them has ever experienced the death of a loved one, let alone the love of their life. They don't know what it's like to have your heart ripped out in one fell swoop and be forced to survive. That's what I became, a living dead, pathetic zombie. Ryan and I used to meet up with the rest of the band here in this bar, just to escape the responsibilities of adult life for a while and go back to being the wild, freaky kids we used to be when we were teenagers_ well, THEY used to be when THEY were teenagers, because I had the most boring adolescence of all time_. ‘The Raccoon’, that was the name of the bar. Here we could finally wear a mask other than the immaculate perfection that Windrop wanted us to wear. Here we could be real sexual beasts, deviants, dirty perverts and nobody would give a damn. This is where Ryan and I had most of our fun. He liked to do it in the most vulgar way, always looking for new sensations... And since he was murdered, well... I haven't been here. So why am I here today? Because I have been suffocating... Suffocating from fulfilling my role as double father, financier, son of billionaire Malcolm Treize, widower of Ryan McLores. I had become anything but myself, anything but Mason McLores. I was lonely and wanted to live a little again, so I accepted Vivienne's many, many messages begging me to come. And here I am. We never recover from the places where our haunting ghosts are buried. Ryan's spirit was waiting for me here as well. Because here I was, reliving our sexual follies, with people I could feel I had nothing left to tie me to.
"Mase, are you sure you're okay?"
Oh, and that one, that stray dog... He thinks that because I'm sitting with them today, I've forgotten that he left me in my despair for six frigging months. At his side was a new chick, a certain Camille or Cassy, I don't know. I don’t give two fucks about them anyway. But poor Ketty. I don't blame her; what would she still be doing here if he had dropped her like a garbage bag after so many years of marriage? Allan will never change. I leer at him for a long time to make it clear that I have nothing to say to him. Embarrassed, he removes his hand from my knee and pretends to attend to the whims of his new little darling. If only she knew... never mind.
"Tell us Mase... how long has it been since you fucked… or got fucked (he raised a mischievous eyebrow)?"
"REMY!"
"Oh Remy, you're just doing too much right now… like the fuck?"
"What, what... orrrh, why are you guys acting like some fucking pussies, all holier-than-thou... If you don’t get the fuck outta-…You, Vivienne, just 15 minutes ago you were all over the bartender trying to get his number. If you had to stick your tits out, you'd have done it. Allan, you... Well, I'm not going to ruin our newcomer’s chances..."
"You'd better keep your mouth shut."
For the first time, I want Remy to go on just to see the anger rise to Allan's face and his new whore, to start calling him names. Alas!
“Ludmila, you and I fucked yesterday so you can't play the goody-...”
“OH MY GOD? NO WAY!”
“Yeah way… and you, Jonathan and Manasseh, I caught the two of you in a threesome with that filthy bitch, Jessica, the other day, SOOOOO let me ask my buddy when was the last time he had his ass thoroughly pounded!”
“Not since Ryan died anyway.”
"And here he goes, HERE HE FUCKING GOES!... And when I say he's been acting like some goddamn granny who's just rediscovered menopause, y’all want my head! Mase, Ryan's not coming back, do yourself a favor, get laid! You're going to die of frozen sperm."
“And who told you I hadn't cummed since?”
“YOU!... unless you jerk that dick off ooooh...”
“Remy, that's enough.”
"Oh you guys are being so stuck-up, chill for goddamn sake! And Jonathan, by the way, shut up!"
“Now that we're on the subject, is it true that you haven't, you know, all this time?”
“Vivienne, not you too”
"No, no... Just it's been almost a year... and... Wait, what about the app we had you install, Grindr.... Didn't you find someone on it for a booty call?"
“Oh no... not that damn challenge”
“Well well well... look at that guy over there, ooohhh he's done nothing but stare at you since we got here, go talk to him and let him straighten out your bowels.”
“Have you gone batshit crazy or something?”
Just because Allan, my so-called best friend, interfered; suddenly I feel like doing the stupid things Remy regurgitates.
“What... NO YOU'RE GOING TO TALK TO HIM FOR REAL?”
“Yes, I am.”
They had all started making a noise similar to owls hooting. They're so stupid. Even the new girl, the Camille or Camy or Cassy whatever her name was had joined in. Except for Allan who said nothing; I could see him staring at me out of the corner of my eye. Well, that'll teach you to abandon your best friend.
"GO! GO! GO! GO! YEAAHHHHH!"
“Oh Oh Mase, come back and have a sip of whisky... it'll give you more… what’s that big word_ he was hitting his head as to remember. My guy is wasted_… STAMINA!”
I turned back to Remy, snatched his half-full bottle from his hands, emptied it completely_ ouuuh it's been months since I've done something like that_ and stomped confidently towards the young man who supposedly couldn't stop admiring me; under the shouts and applause of my friends, under the alarmed gaze of Allan, under the gaze of a young man who straightened up from his chair, completely embarrassed to have been caught spying me. I was moving forward, sure and confident, but unfortunately, I was moving forward because I'd lost my mind.
ns 15.158.61.8da2
