
2020 年 1 月 24 日91Please respect copyright.PENANAv3xqhqafB5
91Please respect copyright.PENANAj2aZEl49PI
『看清真愛的倒影,不過是種逢迎。』91Please respect copyright.PENANAxGaPgUhs4e
91Please respect copyright.PENANAPttJC5Ok6I
不知曾在哪樣獲得共鳴的旋律中聽過這般歌詞,只記得當時感覺只有麻木懵懂,如今卻用親身經歷為譜詞者書寫的深刻功績;又增添一抹輝煌。91Please respect copyright.PENANAeqm0P3Vg7h
91Please respect copyright.PENANAXwCtKlrLl1
「說中你/妳的心聲了」--我並不以寫作相關的技能為業,甚至不是名筆耕者。91Please respect copyright.PENANAmrPJGoCcOG
91Please respect copyright.PENANA4Y6CBBgwom
就連這設為僅本人可見的帳號在不用顧慮誰的目光打量後,依然懶得頻繁更新些什麼......但不知怎的,總覺得習慣和文字思想打交道的孤僻人士總會有幾分這類傲慢。好像從詞句、文章中剖析猜測了些什麼,進而想得到更多人的贊同......來肯定自己能使嘴角合理上揚的,傲慢。91Please respect copyright.PENANAD7ThGnBaDC
91Please respect copyright.PENANA8tXFVQQMfI
主觀?偏見?要是外傳到大眾眼皮子底下肯定會被筆誅口伐吧?但有趣的是若這個說法有幸得到更多人賞識,多了還有更多、然後越來越多......當「偏見」進化為「主見」興起不同派系討論時,始作俑者的我就已經贏得第一場值得愉悅的勝利,希盼其蛻變成新的「主流」,哪怕是正常人眼裡毫無邏輯的......91Please respect copyright.PENANA8uN9ufA60y
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「奶奶!」91Please respect copyright.PENANAUMY50Gr6yD
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「哎,好乖,總算回來了啊?來讓奶奶好好看看,開車坐車這麼久一定很累了吧?就跟你們說稍微提早一兩天免得塞車......」91Please respect copyright.PENANASHyMceSMBT
91Please respect copyright.PENANAqL60L8yZWn
「沒事的媽,都在同個市,開車很快的。」91Please respect copyright.PENANAyd1iBGmilT
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「大人也許沒關係,但要記得顧慮孩子啊。好了好了,時宇你趕緊先帶孩子們去休息吧,客廳桌上有韓菓*,餓了就吃點,飯菜一會馬上好。」91Please respect copyright.PENANAWeYdWbL4QG
91Please respect copyright.PENANAsFzTkePr8V
當按下門鈴後沒過多久,不意外地很快聽見婆婆拖著有些不規律的腳步聲前來應門,迫切關心一趟下來舟車勞頓的和藹語氣中;對象並未包含我這個嫁進門的兒媳,焦點全放於她精心雕琢的寶貝兒子、還有試圖從我身邊奪走的兩個孫子身上,自然詮釋著「最親密外人」的戲碼。91Please respect copyright.PENANAkDkiXsyWDi
91Please respect copyright.PENANASO9i0TNOtE
當然我也習慣了--無依無靠、連「別人家的女兒」這理由都不能拿來為自己辯解,聽起來簡直是最棒的欺凌對象了,不是嗎?91Please respect copyright.PENANANdAcNvtV81
91Please respect copyright.PENANAECJzKa1MHm
主動接過丈夫手上的食材,我屏蔽了耳邊那事不關己的寒暄,靜靜掛著微笑識相地轉移去廚房尋覓片刻安寧。91Please respect copyright.PENANAgohiwu1Fb0
91Please respect copyright.PENANAd5DNPqLIWt
桌面上有許多前置作業備好的料整齊排放,年糕湯*、沾辣醬的芝麻葉與海鮮煎餅、雜菜*跟一些散炙*......雖然都還是未經料理、組裝擺盤的階段,但這千篇一律的菜色我早已在嫁入權家後被迫熟悉;即便不會做也能看出是為了什麼料理準備......至於那碗深色膏狀、且頗受黎真、晚真喜愛的炸醬就更不用說了,感覺都是一大清早從菜市場買回來精心製作的。91Please respect copyright.PENANAjc225BE5M2
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--『文莉啊,聽時宇說妳不太能吃辣,所以特意做了炸醬麵,其他菜色我也會做點調整後再跟他說怎麼做的。』91Please respect copyright.PENANAkRjIhJ5Rzg
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呿,關於幾年前就開始的虛情假意。91Please respect copyright.PENANAdkD7IcaynU
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將特意事前購買的補品刻意放到上頭婆婆不太方便拿的位置,才待沒多久我就開始對廚房徘徊不去的某種特有氣味感到不適。91Please respect copyright.PENANAQ9ogOpuzi3
91Please respect copyright.PENANAas93ZfqnAQ
跟早已習慣、屬於野生生物的腥羶不同,儘管也許沒什麼人能跟我這奇異想法產生共鳴,但經常開火或處理食材的地方總是瀰漫一股死亡與血腥的作嘔感。特別當海鮮類生前的魚腥;混雜上死去後彷彿告知你它逐漸腐爛的詭異衝擊嗅感......這已經不是「新鮮」二字就能阻斷我大腦的直覺信號了。91Please respect copyright.PENANAtWB0kfpDw0
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「活物」與「死物」,難道不是決定性的不同嗎?91Please respect copyright.PENANAqQ8LZ4dLFH
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而當下這也讓我完全失去開冰箱為自己倒杯水解渴的慾望。畢竟鐵定會看見一盒盒如樂高般堆疊整齊的生醃*,還有總擺放在最上層用來作為年菜收尾甜米露*的味道混雜……91Please respect copyright.PENANABMIDrD0qri
91Please respect copyright.PENANAEQwPNROwep
「嘔......!」再也忍不住地撐在不鏽鋼水槽旁緊摀住嘴,努力反覆嚥下差點出於本能的生理反應......若說想像力真是人類獨有的超能力,那麼在被其「反噬」的體驗上我真心感受深刻。91Please respect copyright.PENANAYZxDLKcyGa
91Please respect copyright.PENANAjVIiIwOn7I
--『我知道妳不喜歡也不擅長做菜,平時在家都我下廚沒有關係,不過難得遇上節日......不,只要過年時就好,稍微幫媽一起做飯好嗎?她年紀大了腿腳不好,但又總不肯讓我幫忙......』91Please respect copyright.PENANATzekstCQkp
91Please respect copyright.PENANAVfFdujsZcI
所以呢?關我什麼事了?大孝子的道德綁架嗎--也不知當時因為氣味、又或其他什麼因素的影響,感覺所有對現況的不滿都將隨喉嚨裡的胃酸湧出,卻在最後一刻被迫咽回......如同生活。91Please respect copyright.PENANAFZwZb7VMcI
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是啊,如同生活。91Please respect copyright.PENANAheztUaqK7C
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「......原來妳在這啊。」在把兒孫都安排伺候地服服貼貼之後,我那曾為人師表而舉止間皆自帶禮儀教養的婆婆才緩緩走進,無論語氣神態都略顯隔閡,劃滿年歲痕跡面容上的笑意也不自覺歛起幾分,所幸應該沒看見我剛剛差點於廚房吐出的一幕。91Please respect copyright.PENANAiwx5isq8RQ
91Please respect copyright.PENANAnp21Z1A9zM
「出去陪時宇跟孩子們吧,這裡我來就可以......沒必要強迫自己做不習慣或討厭的事。年紀大了人雖然比較遲鈍,但不至於連妳討厭我這當婆婆的都看不出。」91Please respect copyright.PENANAqSpfMW5IPb
91Please respect copyright.PENANAvrU6k8MaBe
權碧芬,妳說誰討厭誰來著?這句話當時聽著還沉浸在身體的不舒服中沒太大感覺,現在回想起來真是令人不快。91Please respect copyright.PENANAz1qpUGVKgS
91Please respect copyright.PENANAxvaVFNXv7u
「唉呦,瞧媽您這話說的,我沒有勉強自己啊。」儘管知道這段假意培養感情的戲碼有多粗糙,我仍勾起在家對著鏡子練習過無數次的唇角弧度溫和回應道。91Please respect copyright.PENANADLKb53IVjH
91Please respect copyright.PENANASj3Q4B97QM
「妳應該不喜歡進廚房吧?」91Please respect copyright.PENANAVlJmw13wS8
91Please respect copyright.PENANAwdnUpYJ6Dd
「平日空閒時還是多少有在練習的,不必擔心。」垂眸看著還沾染些許非水性顏料沒有洗淨的手指,我麻木地睜眼說著瞎話......卻是沒法在一桌生鮮食材上找到哪怕一樣自己稍微願意處理甚至碰觸的。91Please respect copyright.PENANAB3xZH8XBcN
91Please respect copyright.PENANAE3ADLikqBf
「......文莉啊。」生硬的對話迫使空氣短暫陷入沉默,而我沒將視線投向她,許久才聽見那老舊線軸似的微沙嗓音再次開口;用同樣故作親密、好像有將我當作親生女兒似的叫喚開頭。91Please respect copyright.PENANAsoZ4S0DLVe
91Please respect copyright.PENANAvtEetc5TKM
「妳......真不考慮抽空去做個心理諮商嗎?這一年來妳的情緒狀況真的很讓人擔憂......身為一個過來人是能感受出來的。而且我有認識一位非常不錯的醫生,只要妳點頭,那......」91Please respect copyright.PENANA0jteiCniH5
91Please respect copyright.PENANAccJ3qTEFPe
「媽,妳現在是懷疑我有病的意思嗎?」用著早已在大學時就熟練的韓文打斷後話,我不自覺加快語速的同時也因情緒拔高了幾個音調。「我知道您對我的過去一直很有成見,但這樣是不是有點太過份了?就因為我不想讓時宇在我們之間為難;所以活該承受這些嗎?」91Please respect copyright.PENANA3B9dkcqbtl
91Please respect copyright.PENANAnDus8035z9
「我不是這個意思......」面露難色的嘆息,婆婆在我這段突如其來的輸出後變得欲言又止--這種神情我看得夠多了。91Please respect copyright.PENANAamnR66KbCx
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憐憫?同情?還是但凡有個非自願的悲慘過去,這輩子就沒資格幸福了?91Please respect copyright.PENANAPxY0hTjlKO
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他是這麼想的。91Please respect copyright.PENANA6Xwx0l1Skd
她是這麼想的。91Please respect copyright.PENANAOn8AB8fAE8
「他」是這麼想的--91Please respect copyright.PENANAjxMdkeX7rA
--遲早發現這個帳號的「你們」,鐵定也會這麼想的吧?91Please respect copyright.PENANAlP0w7sxiMo
91Please respect copyright.PENANAaz99pCjTjV
「......總之,我沒事的。別將已經夠難過的生活搞得更複雜可以嗎?媽,拜託,我已經很多事要煩了。」在內心一陣爆炸的語詞狂風般呼嘯而過後,我反倒情緒一陣空蕩,只是平靜且含糊地說道,轉身又若無其事伸手把海鮮跟野菜拌進麵糊中攪拌。91Please respect copyright.PENANAWoeubJCjLc
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話已至此,婆婆當下也沒有再繼續堅持說什麼......不覺得有點好笑嗎?像她這種個性以前到底怎麼管得住學生的?真的有人會聽她的話嗎?91Please respect copyright.PENANAWTsvsNnZkc
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反正我是不可能會的,笑死。91Please respect copyright.PENANAjb42kkxp8B
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思緒如同自己拿長木筷攪弄的麵糊一樣攪成團狀,在聽到一句「好吧,我把水果拿去客廳就回來」以及開關冰箱的聲響後,對話才勉強告個段落來緩和緊繃神經。91Please respect copyright.PENANAevSJsg74j6
91Please respect copyright.PENANAqsEkJtdFzF
平和、平和、假象的顛倒和平......生活有了愛情調劑也只是讓逢迎多幾分妝點修飾;而缺失情感的誓約也只是提早讓逢場作戲成為日常。91Please respect copyright.PENANAXi8Hb3h4ej
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想一想。91Please respect copyright.PENANAZDyjMdFYTp
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結局究竟是髒了誰的眼睛?91Please respect copyright.PENANAXa8U5wDoZF
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[為您的新貼文新增一張或數張圖片]91Please respect copyright.PENANABVjtR6X28S
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TBC.
ns 15.158.61.47da2韓菓:由炸過的糯米裹上芝麻或是白米等穀物做出來的零食。91Please respect copyright.PENANAPyvtirMGOR
91Please respect copyright.PENANAix8eO69z4e
年糕湯:過年韓國必有料理之一,早期做祈求豐收,後有長壽之意,吃了代表年長一歲。91Please respect copyright.PENANAcMXGUSn2g5
91Please respect copyright.PENANAnJ3Ls81m0o
雜菜:由各種蔬菜等作成的料理,有時會加入豬肉絲、菇類和冬粉,象徵著民族和諧。91Please respect copyright.PENANAuB1HXM0ypN
91Please respect copyright.PENANANMerfGnVTo
散炙:古時韓國的宮廷御食之一,將肉類、蔬菜、年糕等食材調味後串成一串烤來吃。91Please respect copyright.PENANApXw1pNgpPV
91Please respect copyright.PENANAHNLR4QJjOz
甜米露:韓式傳統飲料,由米和麥芽發酵之後加入砂糖製成,據說有幫助消化之功效。91Please respect copyright.PENANAwUQBziWCbX
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生醃:直接醃製後生食用海鮮料理統稱。91Please respect copyright.PENANALmCP24MxX8
91Please respect copyright.PENANAZceJX7ZMwx