Chapter One
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It was only three weeks ago… There was a stir after school a few hours after school. Kids were walking home, trying not to get themselves involved with the large crowd. Birds of prey were encircling the carcass of a dog, pecking its intestines and guts out. It was just after school, no one had gotten home yet. The dog, it wore a collar, a very old and cheap collar, perhaps homemade. It said, “Duke H.”
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Duke Harrod.
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Liam rushed to the crowd outside the gate, whispering and looking over what had happened. He had a feeling, a small tinge of realisation. He knew what he was going to see, he knew what the whispers were about. He pushed his way through the crowd and saw the body of his dead pet brutally killed with a blunt weapon,
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Expecting and knowing are far different from experiencing and seeing.
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The sight was unbearable. Liam wanted to look away, but he couldn’t. His eyes were fixed on it. Elijah had told him what he’d do if he didn’t show up for their sessions.
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The buzzing of the flies rang loudly in his ears. He dropped to the ground, his eyes bloodshot. This wasn’t just one thing—it was everything Elijah had done, piled on top of each other. It kept piling and piling and adding and adding, there was no end.
What did he do, what did he do?! Why wasn’t it me???
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The crowd began dispersing, leaving one by one. Maybe it was because the heat was unbearable. Or maybe they just didn’t want anything to do with this. With the pitiful boy on the dusty ground. With the cold carcass which was almost infested with maggots. They were normal people. They had nothing to do with this. This doesn’t concern them. It couldn’t. It shouldn’t. Children, parents of those children, workers, and people who were just simply passing by.
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While Liam was left alone. He felt something else—rage? Anger? Sadness? He can’t feel any of those. His voice was hoarse, his throat clogged up. What was it? What’s he feeling? He wants to… break… What? Break Elijah? Break him into pieces until he can’t even talk, like what he did to him? He couldn’t do that. He didn’t want to. Then what? What is it?
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So many questions. Too many.
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The sun was starting to set. He had been sitting there for hours, staring at the ground, trying to sort his thoughts, but in the end, he hadn’t been able to. He lifted his head and dragged his knees forward. One hand, one knee, then the other, moving slowly, carefully. Preparing for what he was about to see. He crawled towards the body. The pebbles scraped against his knees, tearing them open, the blood staining the ground. The stinging pain was dull, as numb as his mind. As he got closer, the rotting stench became stronger, the burning sensation in his nostrils flared.
The ground was still hot, but the sun which brought the scorching heat was already halfway gone.
The cold started to settle in the air but the floor was still hot as it soaked up the heat from the sun. Perhaps the body was hot, too. 23Please respect copyright.PENANABkovE0Q5vc
He didn’t know. He couldn’t feel anything anymore. 23Please respect copyright.PENANA7I4vcoIw1e
The sun had set completely. He was still there, his bloodshot eyes fixed on the ground. His mind was no longer on the dog. Now, he was thinking about tomorrow. What would he eat for breakfast? Would his mom get home on time? Would they have homework? Will he get home unscathed? Safely? Just like he did before any of this happened? Will he… stop feeling this way? Maybe, just maybe… This feeling which he felt was so wrong?23Please respect copyright.PENANAomGevY6BCc
Tomorrow doesn’t offer answers to anyone. It leaves only an empty feeling, a longing to survive just one more day. To find out: what will happen tomorrow?
He stood up, leaving the carcass behind.
Two... three... four... He stopped counting and paused in front of an oddly-shaped rock.
Picking it up, he mumbled, “Four… Okay.”
He knew Elijah’s circle of friends. There was Wyatt, a boy his height and build; Nico, a smaller boy with a family that was always around him; and Rome. Liam had always thought Rome was a strange name. He was the tallest and thinnest of them all.
Four. He categorized them: Elijah was Zero—he was the strongest. Wyatt was Two—always beside Elijah. Nico was Three, his strength equal to Liam’s. Rome was Four—he was weak. All he had was his height. His face... was insufferable, Liam thought.
He ended up with Four.
It’s good he did.
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* * *
“I don’t know euphoria,”
A song played faintly from the left headset connected to an old phone discarded on the floor.
“Would like to meet her someday,”
Zero, Two, Three… Four is not present. Word quickly got out that he was injured after a fall. He was still unconscious. Some students have already visited and sent their regards to the parents but some weren’t so brave as to go into the hospital room where two loving parents are screaming, fighting and arguing with three uniformed men. The mother pleaded with the officials, claiming it wasn’t just a fall, it wasn’t an attempted suicide. Someone had done it. One police woman looked down at the mother empathetically, consoling her, saying she wished she could do something but, really, that was all it was: A suicide. It couldn’t be anything else.
Liam was sprawled on the ground, the gashes on his forehead and wrists stinging as the rough pebbles scraped his open wounds. He let out a small gasp as a foot came down on his ribs. He grabbed his side and groaned, closing his eyes. He bit his lips, trying to keep himself from making any more unnecessary sounds. Lifting his gaze, he saw Eli’s eyes, burning with fire. A code only the two of them understood. With this, he inwardly reassured himself. He was still One. No one else. 23Please respect copyright.PENANAAAV1CCEvFP
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“I don’t think he could take another hit, Eli. Just leave him alone.” Wyatt tugged on Elijah’s shirt.
Elijah grabbed Liam and pulled him closer. The details on his face were clear. The creases on his forehead, his eyebrows. His breathing was unsteady. His eyes never showed weakness or self-pity. There were no tears.
“Well?” Elijah asked, “Do you think you could take more?”
Liam exhaled. The warm breath almost appeared visible. He nodded, mumbling, “Yes… -re,”
“Hah?! I didn’t hear.” Eli shook him a bit, tightening his grip on his collar.
Liam clenched and moved his hands from protecting his side to his bloody neck, where the pressure from Eli’s grip had left its mark. He replied quickly, “More!”
He gasped when he hit the ground again when Elijah let him go, the force knocking the air from his lungs. Elijah’s eyes darkened as Liam struggled for breath, his lips slightly parted, trying to pull in just enough oxygen while his chest heaved as his own body fought just for him to survive. Liam’s hair was disheveled, his clothes torn, revealing the blood staining his collarbone. His eyes turned away from Elijah for a second as he hit the ground but he maintained contact, glaring intensely at Elijah’s eyes. They both knew what was in each other’s minds. But they didn’t want to accept what was on their own.
His hand nudged where the old phone connected with the headset. It came loose. The song escaped.
“C’est la vie”
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* * *
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“So is life. It happens to everyone, and worse. But they get through it. We can get through it. You don’t have to ‘stand up and speak.’ If others live and survive then you can, too.” A girl said.
There was a class debate about what the bullied should feel. One team taking the stand with them, the other against, as how things should be. Sam, the representative for those ‘against,’ had a petite body and curly hair. Her eyes were big and shiny like pearls.
“Agreed. So is life. It happens to everybody, right? You’re saying that, basically, if others could do it, I should be able to do it, too, right? ‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,’ correct?” The representative who ‘stood with,’ Eana was considerably taller than Sam. She had a strong build and fierce eyes.
Sam nodded, “That’s correct.”
“Hmm, but what if it does? What if it does kill you? ‘What doesn’t kill you makes you–’ what?” She motioned for Sam to continue.
“It makes you stronger,” Sam answered.
“Wrong!” Eana slammed her fist on the table, “What doesn’t kill you… might kill someone else. Just because YOU can brave through it does not mean others can, too. You, of all people, should know that.”
The teacher chuckled lightly and raised her hand to signal that the debate was over.
“Okay, and we’re finished. That was more than 15 minutes, I enjoyed myself, I’m sorry.” Ms. Auburn jested.
There were giggles spread throughout the classroom. Eana and Sam shook hands and went back to their respective places.
“Okaaaaayy…” She scanned the room, “Liam still isn’t back, huh?”
A girl raised her hand, “I think I heard he was sick from Wyatt.”
“Wyatt? Are they close? Isn’t he a senior?”
“No, I don’t think so. Oh! But I think he heard it from Eli. Eli’s close with Liam, I think.” The girl said what everyone else was thinking, ‘yeah, they’re always together. They’re friends.’
Ms. Auburn sighed, “Okay, uhm, can you tell Wyatt to tell Eli to come to the office later?”
“Yes, Miss.”
She adjusted her glasses and sat back down on the teacher’s desk, dismissing the girl. She opened the textbook and continued writing on the chalkboard.
—
The 4th bell rang, screaming into everyone’s ears that time was almost over. At this time, students were encouraged to study alone for the remaining time. Ms. Auburn went outside of the classroom and into the teachers’ offices. She pulled out a pink folder from her bag which she struggled to lift up as it was a bit thick. Inside were all of today’s quizzes and tests from the students that she had to grade. She sighed, smiling. There was too much work, she shouldn’t have given that surprise quiz. The clock ticked slowly as she worked. Other teachers were also working, but she had started earlier. Finally, after a few more hours, she was done, standing up with a satisfied sigh and reaching for her phone.
She thought of calling her missing student’s parents in order to inquire about his well being. First, she sent a greeting through text:
“Good afternoon, Ms. Harrod,”
Then she mentioned the subject:
“How is Liam doing lately at home? He has excellent grades but he’s a quiet kid.”
Finally, she addressed the cause of concern:
“He didn’t come today. Is he sick, maybe?”
She waited for a few minutes. A notification popped up on her phone. It was from her desired sender. It went:
“I’m sorry? He’s not at school? He left this morning, I… <tap to see more>”
She was about to click on the notification when the final bell rang. School’s over. Everyone gets to go home, or maybe just hang out, but otherwise, it was after-hours already. Sighing, she replied without even reading the whole message:
“I’m sorry, Ms. Harrod but I have to go. Maybe we could talk about this tomorrow over the phone.”
Ms. Auburn wasn’t a particularly bad teacher nor did the students think she was a really kind one. A teacher’s workplace is the school and she is just there to, well, work. Anything that draws a person’s attention– a perfect attendance student being absent for a day, for example– she would try to find out why… as long as it’s in her jurisdiction. And, who’s to blame? She’s doing what she has to and she doesn’t want to do more, that’s no problem. Students were always gathered behind the school watching ‘a fight’ going on or whatever. Was it her obligation to look even after school hours? No. She thinks herself an ordinary but lawful woman. Nothing more, nothing less. Ah, for the ordinary people to look over the wrongdoings of others to remain ‘ordinary.’ Who’s to blame? Who’s to blame indeed. For, she believes, ignorance innocence is not going against the law. Keep your hands clean and keep your mind cleared, hands in pockets and eyes ahead. Neither blessing nor cursing. Be good, not kind. Keep yourself ordinary.23Please respect copyright.PENANA6KyUM9nMj9
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Chapter One23Please respect copyright.PENANAWq6wURYcYz
End
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