The next few days were a blur of rebellion and bad decisions. Zain stopped going to classes, stopped answering calls from his parents, and spent his time drifting through whatever filled the void. Theo kept pushing him to hang out, and Zain gladly followed, enjoying the chaos they created together. It felt good to let go, to not worry about the consequences for once. No one was watching, and Zain was starting to feel like he could finally breathe.
But as much as Zain tried to convince himself that he was fine, that he was enjoying this new life of freedom, there was always a nagging feeling in the back of his mind. The guilt. The pressure. The fact that he hadn’t heard from Ella in days was eating at him. She was probably hurt, probably crying, and Zain didn’t even care. Not right now, anyway.
It wasn’t until he walked into school that Monday, still half-drunk from the weekend, that the reality of everything he had torn apart started to hit him. The looks people gave him were different now. Whispers followed him through the halls. And the worst part? Ella wasn’t even there.
Zain tried to ignore it, but his mind was working overtime. He hadn’t even thought about her the last few days, and now the thought of her not being around made him feel something he wasn’t used to—regret.
"Yo, Zain," Theo called out as he caught up to him at the lockers. "What’s with you today? You look like you’ve seen a ghost."
Zain slammed his locker shut and glared at him. "Just leave me alone, okay?" His voice was rough, sharper than he meant it to be. He didn’t want to think about Ella. He didn’t want to think about what he’d done.
Theo paused, raising his hands in mock surrender. "Fine, fine. But I’m just saying, maybe you should check your phone. You got a bunch of messages. Ella’s been trying to reach you."
Zain’s heart skipped a beat. The last thing he wanted to deal with was her, but at the same time, part of him needed to know what was going on. With a sigh, he fished his phone out of his pocket. Theo was right—there were multiple texts, all from Ella. The first one was just after he sent that awful message.
Ella: “Why are you doing this? What happened?”
Ella: “Please talk to me, Zain. I don’t understand.”
Ella: “I thought we were good. I thought we were... close. What did I do wrong?”
Zain’s stomach twisted. He scrolled through the messages, the guilt becoming overwhelming. What was he doing? He wasn’t some cold-hearted jerk—he didn’t want to hurt her. But then again, it was easier to push her away than face the reality of their relationship.
His phone buzzed again. It was another message from Ella.
Ella: “I don’t know what’s going on with you, but I can’t just sit here waiting for you to come back. I think we need to end it. I don’t think we’re right for each other anymore.”
The finality of it hit Zain hard, harder than he expected. He’d been the one to break it off, but it still stung to read that.
Theo watched him from the side, waiting for him to react. "Dude, you good?"
Zain closed his eyes for a second, trying to push the emotions down. "I screwed up, Theo," he muttered, more to himself than to Theo. "I really screwed up."
Theo’s face softened. "You don’t have to keep doing this, Zain. You don’t have to ruin everything just because it’s easier."
Zain clenched his jaw and shook his head. "You don’t get it. You don’t get how this feels."
Theo didn’t say anything after that, but Zain could tell he was trying to figure out what to say. It didn’t matter, though. Zain was already spiraling. He didn’t know what was going to happen next, but he knew one thing for sure—he couldn’t keep pretending to be the person everyone wanted him to be.
Later that night, Zain found himself alone in his room, staring at his phone. He hadn’t replied to Ella. He couldn’t. He was too afraid of what she might say, of how much more it would hurt. His fingers hovered over the screen, debating whether or not he should reach out. But what was the point? What did he even have left to say?
The more he thought about it, the more he realized that he had already lost her. And now, he was losing himself too. The lies, the manipulation, the chaos—it was all catching up to him. He felt like he was trapped in a cage of his own making, and the worst part? He didn’t know how to get out.
His phone buzzed again. This time, it was from his mom.
Ms. Mitchell: "We need to talk. You’re not going to keep ignoring us forever."
Zain stared at the message, the weight of everything pressing down on him. He could feel the walls closing in. It was only a matter of time before his whole world came crashing down.
For a moment, he considered replying. But then, he realized he didn’t know what to say. What was there left to say?
He tossed his phone aside and buried his face in his hands. "What the hell have I done?"
ns 15.158.61.17da2
