以下是我看到某參賽作品以後，所寫的留言轉正文，供大家參考。
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡozgSsnVT80
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKFViS4OpJJ
感謝參與～114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4xLLyNcLX
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPdnrSvcLAQ
老實說，這篇給我的感覺不是十行詩，是散文十行。114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWPyRsTs8aP
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Qkgr09Gmd
雖然文章有哲理，但是詩度很低。詩的要素，如節奏、意象、音樂、譬喻都很平淡，甚至欠奉；內容太趨近說明，解釋過多，太黏了。114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Ow4ETgXOz
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj7N8zYaMfi
～～～～分隔線～～～～114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhn5uIeUdZR
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhGWuBzSCJ
我回頭看我自己寫的詩，有些也算不上是詩，例如114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHmU4S4lc0X
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzhB3H5RMPp
〈限制和自由〉114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahnJEi9isO
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMKgK6T19q6
penana.com/article/1024895114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWBVfRbGugO
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ65gGwov7js
現在看來，我覺得它不是詩 (但為記錄故，還是收進詩集)。114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkIDGROkqTl
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZTi5AiIyPs
詩度 0。114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmTpGPWrwaR
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWqTBafwELx
～～～～分隔線～～～～114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRiIt9LeBHC
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDjWIUvYeBW
〈問〉114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbqu7JiR2Yk
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7YhPREMBfs
penana.com/article/1024944114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM7kYcv752h
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQ00aa1GBS
詩度高一點。114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvaRzTdSinW
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7mrqI5esQ
～～～～分隔線～～～～114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfoTxah8VDW
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡusi7CZlkFM
〈摩天之輪〉114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5WvvXIbck
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWylrjXBZ4
penana.com/article/1045705114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6i4Qlz5nrs
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQjO1FGayZw
詩度再高一點。
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6QzZSMIj1X
～～～～分隔線～～～～
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBBTlXrj5y
〈蝴蝶酥〉114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoCoUvhIneQ
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKcByBT0Y3b
https://www.penana.com/article/1597713114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJEh4aWxe1
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTQM2RzHyA
詩度比前三首都高。
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbzHqQWPP7t
～～～～分隔線～～～～
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwbJK3RJql
我最近在看台灣詩人蕭蕭的詩論，詩人有句話簡單卻有道理：「詩，是『換句話說』，『再換句話說』」。114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYc78zpuO6G
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmiNjIdQgrH
我在筆記本上面，寫下自己的句子：「詩，是常句和變句的雙人舞。」114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjlJ4HJpMC
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAdLfMfmbf8
跟你分享。
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLK4RDtOws6
～～～～分隔線～～～～
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxTbQD6WaqQ
此外，這篇連結文章也可作參考。114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzy8TTCvDw
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnejoiYrTHG
【認識新詩的基本元素】114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ddaO8kxvQ
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyfMAhpBwlq
blog.udn.com/shesiya/113597193114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWgIJWFLMZv
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEdgFfQiu7p
我之後應該會就我最近對新詩的思考＆自己詩作/非詩作的例子，寫一篇文章放在我的《寫詩這件事及其他》裡面。114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJRAeUtFZ5
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIA3J5QvNQl
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyURxdhbTVd
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ96BSopQskM
【我後來回答參賽者「希望較符合你的標準」的留言】
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡShRN0sqrG7
這不是我的標準啦，算是台灣詩人對新詩的定義。114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLdvulR8x4m
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHatL4S4iB
第二版「詩度」有提升，因為用了複沓/排比結構，綿延的音樂性增加了。114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3isEDWchID
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYm4NI5zM1n
寫詩要多看詩，也不用急，我檢視自己這兩年多密集寫詩的成果，發現好多不熟的，甚至是皮球假裝成果子的，哈哈～
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnTYh9HcemV
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAxXm66BltU
【這次全新寫的感想】
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJXeOVkXnbh
我拿自己青澀的詩果，甚至非詩的皮球作例子，無非是希望讀者能做個比較，認識一下不同詩度的詩，長什麼樣子；這裡再拿我寫的〈詠栗〉作例子：
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTv56a3csRk
〈詠栗〉
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTkkQwxs6t6
殼斗，第一層愛
張牙舞爪威嚇
眾鳥獸，為了
豐美的內在
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡajNeSQKfCd
剝去愛，尚有
木訥果皮和刻苦種皮
無口而全然
環抱整個子代
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3aQK3nsrEh
充盈在手中打開
當秋天到來
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp1bUQVbr38
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1j0eEGPida
如果寫成
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ17B5BPA6Xs
〈詠栗〉
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt0PugJkdTD
殼斗，第一層皮
長滿尖刺威嚇
眾鳥獸，為了
內在的果實
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwN1eXkC4a
剝去殼，尚有
木質果皮和苦味種皮
沒有裂口而且完全
包覆整個子葉
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxJpHpGNfXn
栗子在手中打開
當秋天到來
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ9ldws8odh
詩度就不見啦，成為一篇分行的散文，而且是說明文。
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdfosc7UK1T
會寫詩的讀者，可將自己詩裡的詩句 (＝變句)，換成一般常用的句子 (＝常句) 玩玩看；而苦惱於抓不到詩度的讀者，反其道而行，將自己作品的句子，改動幾個詞彙，以「一般不會這樣用」的語詞 (也可改變詞性) 代替，或可抓到一點詩的感覺。
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rfsmGS6g1
當然，現代詩的面向不僅在於詞彙，但這是一個開始。
114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaYA3fAPJME
祝各位被詩淋透，不，淋得半濕就好。
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