I was used to people judging a person by their cover.
The phrase don’t judge a book by its cover rarely applied.
Which is why my sister never had a maintained relationship except for one girl,Liz.
You see, my sister,Lisa,had a condition that causes people to think of her as ‘weird’ or ‘aloof’.
Lisa and I are in the same school.
When I write this,I promised myself that this will be the most truthful thing about myself I would ever write.
So I’m sorry,but I will not lie.
You see,when you look into blogs and books about autistic siblings,you always discovered siblings who loved their autistic brother or sister to death, despite his or her condition.
But not me.
Don’t get me wrong,I do love Lisa as my sister, but…
I am feeling guilty writing this,but I had once thought that life would be easier,without my sister around.
You don’t understand what it’s like.
I was the one who mom put in charge of to take care of Lisa at school.
Truth be told,I told Lisa to never tell anyone she ‘s my sister.
Of course,she would never follow that. Lisa was the type of person who couldn’t lie even if she tried.
I was always getting a lot of stares and talks behind my back after everyone in school found out about Lisa. People would look at me and said, ‘Oh,it’s that weird girl’s sister’ and ‘Hey,look,it’s that freak’s sister.You think she’s a weirdo,too?’.
My friend even told me,’I think you should tell your sister to stop hallucinating and make friends,’
I would get back home all tired of all that and stared to do things to piss Lisa off.
Oh,not real bad things.I would just move her things around or hide one of his Detective Conan books.Of course,I shouldn’t have done it.
She threw a tantrum at me after knowing I did it.That resulted in mom grounding me.
I remembered when we were younger.
When I was 12 and she was 11.
Mom took us to the playground.She told me to teach Lisa how to make friends.
I groaned. ‘Mom,she’s all big now.She should KNOW,’.
‘Tiara,she’s your sister.You should help her,’.
I sighed.I turned to Lisa. ‘Look,just smile and say hello.And ask ‘do you want to play?’.That is all,’.
Lisa repeated my words.I watched her as she approached one girl,possibly a 10-year old with brunette hair.
‘Hello,’she yelled at her while the girl was hanging on the monkey bars.
‘You want to play?’she asked in a flat tone. She did this with a blank expression.
The girl looked at her and said,’Are you a robot?’
‘No,’Lisa replied.
‘Whatever,Just get away from me, freak,’she rolled her eyes.
Next,Lisa approached an Indian little boy of about 5 years old sliding down the slide.
‘Hello,’she said.
‘Do you want to play?’she asked again in the same flat tone.
The little boy nodded,smiling at her.
Little kids made friends with anyone,fortunately.
‘I’m Ravi,’he said. They both went digging in the sand together. A man was staring at Lisa,possibly wondering what did the 11-year old girl doing playing sand with a 5 year old. I went closer to them and what I heard was NOT good.
‘Do you know about Itchyosaurus?It has the body of a dolphin and..’she excitedly told the boy the body span of dinosaurs.
The body was getting bored,but Lisa did not know that.
He stood up and left Lisa alone when the man waved at him, probably his dad.
Lisa excitedly told mom,’Mom,I made a friend!’.
‘Yeah,’I said when we were going back home in the car.’A 5-year old,’
‘Good job,Lisa,’mom ignored me.
‘I want to hear all about it,’.
…………..
Mom and dad were always talking care of Lisa. Dad was almost never home, but mom’s constant care for Lisa left me devastated.
I rarely got to be anywhere I want because of Lisa. Routine changes terrified Lisa. Once, dad surprised us with a surprise trip to Malibu after he was gone for 2 months .
Unfortunately, that day happened to be the same day Lisa’s favourite show, ’Judge Detective’ aired.
She went kicking around at the backseat of the car and having meltdowns.Because the chalet in Malibu did not have N channel,which was the channel that aired that stupid show,we had to switch plans and went into holiday in our hometown instead.
Whenever I complained about these things and how we rarely got to have a family nights out together because of Lisa, mom reminded me how important a routine is to Lisa.
Nevertheless, I had to admit,Lisa’s acting out wasn’t really as bad as some autistic kids.she’d have more ‘shutdowns’ than ‘meltdowns’ and most of the time she just complains or got stuck, in which she cried or pull her legs to her chest and rock,instead of aggressive tantrums like boys.
The worst she did was hitting me with a glass until I had to get stitches on my forehead when I was 4.She was 5 at that time. She did it just because I grabbed her colour pencils while she was preoccupied in colouring.
As I am going back home from school, I hoped for once Lisa did not get into trouble.
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