Chapter One:952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZjKkNAseR
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Her father was pacing, causing the floorboards in the upstairs hallway to creak with his every step, alerting Clara to the fact that he was far more worried than he had let on when she had asked earlier. However, she couldn't blame him. She had done the same thing in front of her younger sisters. Sometimes it was easier to simply say that everything was fine, even if it wasn't.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWgwT3zQ4W
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Clara listened to the sounds of her father's creaking footsteps as well as the soft murmur of her younger sisters' quiet breathing in their respective beds. Yet, even with all those sounds to distract her, she could still hear the moans of pain coming from her parents' room. Her mother had gone into labor just after lunch and was still in the throes of childbirth nine hours later.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCFg0vlgoH
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Between Clara and her Father, Clara wasn't sure which of them was more tightly wound. The separate births of Harriet and Amelia, Clara's little sisters, hadn't taken as long as nine hours, and Clara was more than a little worried that there might be complications. Even if the midwife and the doctor had assured her that everything was fine.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV4gWnpqD9R
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Although she was worried out of her mind over her mother's health and she hated how her mother had to feel the obvious pain of giving birth, Clara was still looking forward to being an older sister for the third time.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs5OOxY3QYE
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Clara's ears twitched as she registered the sounds coming from her parents' room getting louder, but instead of the blood curdling scream she had been dreading a foreign cry pierced the air, and a happy smile flashed onto her face as she recognized it as the sound of a newborn baby's first cry.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6RyS17Z4WW
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Clara felt more than heard the stirring of her younger sisters in their beds nearby, and she stilled, not wanting to wake them. After all, the only reason why she was in her sisters' room was for them not to be scared and to distract them from the noises across the hall. She wouldn't be doing the job of an older sister right if she let them wake up now before she was sure everything was alright.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcyPClmPn4w
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She waited for a few minutes before getting out of bed as quick as she could, not wanting to wake up her siblings. Listening for the sounds of Amelia and Harriet's breathing patterns evening out, she did her best to put on her dressing gown and pull on her slippers without making a single noise. Once she was situated and her sisters had resumed their restful sleep, she made her way over to the door leading to the hallway.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAqvbXazCQ0
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In the soft candle light that the maids had lit despite the late hour, Clara could see that the hall was empty, her father having already gone inside to see his wife. The bedroom door squeaked and for a moment she paused, glancing back at the faces of her two sleeping sisters.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn2fviCgxFE
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Harriet was snuggled against a teddy bear, her four-year-old arms draped over the stuffed animal, while Amelia was sucking quietly on two of her fingers. Clara gave a sigh of relief. They hadn't woken.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKlInweUB8l
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Slipping out of their bedroom completely, Clara padded as silent as a mouse to her parents' door, the sound of hushed voices drifting to her ears through the ajar door. Standing in front of it, Clara could just see into the room, taking in the form of her father huddled close to the bed.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhflUVINFKY
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Her foot then gave a hesitant step onto a squeaky floorboard and through the crack in the door she could see her mother's head raise to look at the door that hid Clara from direct line of sight.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDTLG8oyayb
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"Clara, we know you're there, darling," her mother called, voice a margin above a whisper. "Come in sweetheart, come meet your little brother." Clara opened the door, mindful to the maids, midwife, and her baby brother who seemed to already be asleep in her mother's arms.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡboK7UfeTpg
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"What is his name, Mother?" She asked as she looked down at the sleeping baby once she was close enough.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIMr3xdK31U
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"His name is James," Clara's father answered. "After your grandfather."952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWF4XYvqbpG
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"Actually, James Samuel, after your grandfather and your father," her mother said, and Clara brought her eyes up in time to see her father give a bemused sigh.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCtGuJYuRU
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"If only because your mother insists."952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdlBvFDyWyV
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"I do," her mother said, her voice firm. "This is our only son; he deserves to have a good, strong name." She looked down at her son, her eyes soft and lips smiling. "Plus, if he was a girl his name was going to be after his father's anyway."952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOXpDCR9Ht0
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"A girl named Samuel, well I suppose there is a first time for everything," Clara's father joked, and her mother reached forward to give him a light whack on the arm, though still careful not to jostle the baby.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYQwXyWvvgx
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"I meant he would have been named Samantha," her mother said, her sweat-matted hair shining in the candlelight as she shot a look at her still chuckling husband.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4dcRswl571
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"I would have been fine with either," he answered, leaning forward to press a light kiss to his wife's temple, his gray eyes that matched his eldest daughter's looking at his wife and newborn child with nothing short of adoration.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMTTMzQVBJj
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Clara had to smile at her parents' teasing of each other. They were always like that, but a blind man could see that the teasing was from love, not spite. She hoped to find a love like her parents', but she knew that in a time where arranged marriages took dominance over any other sort, that even a small amount of love was lucky.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ03Dzo6ZzMk
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Clara pushed the thought of the loveless marriage she would no doubt be committed to out of her head, instead favoring thoughts of James Samuel, her sleeping little brother. Tipping her head downwards she peered at her newest sibling, her heart warming to the point of bursting when James gave a small murmur.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡANEw3LmjOn
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"May I hold him?" Clara asked, and her mother though smiling, shook her head.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTWyqcXZUnU
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"Not right now, dearest. He is sleeping. I promise that tomorrow when you wake up you can be the first of your sisters to hold him."952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0JNdouLXo3
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"Which means, of course, my dear Clara, that you must go to sleep first before you can wake up," her father said, a grin on his face.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgxs7nUMCzd
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"But Father-"952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfte4LKAhd
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"Ah, ah, ah, no whining. Both your new little brother and your mother need their rest, and I dare say I might need some too. We can't all be night owls like some little girls." Clara scowled at her father as he ruffled her hair with his large hand.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3lPXYhutIz
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"Father, I am hardly a little girl anymore! I'm thirteen now!"952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVbao5Fknz
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"Nonsense! You will be always be a little girl, at least to your mother and I. Now, off to bed with you. You have important things to do in the morning!" Her father said, giving her a gentle push towards the doorway.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFklMvFNmpw
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While she would've liked to stay and hold her brother, Clara didn't mind leaving her parents alone with their newest child. She knew her father always hated not being able to be in the room when her mother was giving birth, but he stayed out for propriety's sake.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡucMfKOYz57
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Clara made her way back to her sisters' room, glad that the sounds of her brother's birth hadn't woken her sisters.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7iVOsmNAyI
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She crawled into her makeshift bed next to her youngest sister's crib, let out a happy sigh, and then flopped onto her back to stare at the lavender painted ceiling. There was no way she was going to be able to fall asleep.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO0GH0QiUHo
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Between her own excitement, the soft sounds of her sisters sleeping, and the thoughts that flew through her head like birds heading south for the winter, sleep seemed unattainable. She contemplated counting sheep, but that sounded boring, so instead she let herself daydream about what James would be like when he grew up.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHKBx3LNnRj
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She was pondering over what he might look like when he was older when a startled shout came from just outside her bedroom door.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMTOUW6ypjK
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"Quick! Call the doctor! You there, fetch me some linens!" A voice shouted, and Clara recognized it as the midwife's. What was going on? A loud screeching filled the air as the sounds of hurried feet pounding on the stairs leaked into the room. Clara sat up abruptly, not bothering to throw on her robe and slippers. The wooden floor was cold beneath her feet as she ran to the door and threw it open.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7J2CLHk1q
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Outside the room was chaos. Maids were rushing back and forth, the baby was howling, and through it all Clara could see straight across to the center of the commotion. It was her mother. Clara acted without thinking, dashing into her parents' room before anyone could tell her to stop.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh6fh3ctQoP
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"Mother! What's wrong? What's happening?" She cried, but instead of comforting words she was greeted by the harsh sound of her mother's shallow breathing and a firm hand on her own upper arm.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsJX36BS8Lj
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"Here, Miss Corden, take the child. Your mother is in no fit state to see you," the doctor said, thrusting the squirming baby into Clara's own trembling arms.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC06Ziorr2i
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"But-"952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ADMruYgzu
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Her protest was lost amongst the sounds of a house in uproar. She got one more look at the sallow face of her mother and the haggard one of her father, before the door was slammed in her face.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPAhGiXA3sB
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However, that one look made all of the difference, and as she stood there trying to comfort her baby brother, her own tears starting to land on his newborn hair, she knew. She knew what no one was going to tell her. Her mother was dying. Why else would they all be panicking?952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7LklK550T
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Outside in the hallway, she rocked James back and forth in her arms until he settled and fell asleep, but Clara did not have such luck. Her eyes blurred with tears, and she stifled the sounds of her own sobs, not wanting to wake up her siblings. It was already a miracle that her sisters had not woken up from the ruckus.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGham5J1ZV1
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Clara could hear the sound of voices from inside her parents' room, and she felt her heart constrict when she heard the words "complicated birth" and "internal bleeding" through the thin walls. She didn't know much about the practice of medicine, but she did know that there wasn't anything that could be done. Internal bleeding couldn't be stopped.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIzKckSIzGv
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After what seemed like an eternity, the doctor with the gruff voice slipped out of her parents' room, his eyes landing on Clara's frozen form. She was still in the exact place she was shoved into when she was shut out. He walked towards her like how one would approach a wild animal, with caution.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyiIStwIo3f
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"Miss Corden, your mother wishes to see you," he said, his voice quieter than what was natural for a man like him, "Hand me your brother, I will look after him as you speak to her." He held out his hands for James, but Clara shook her head, her arms tightening in a protective circle around her sleeping brother.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZlBbNhOSIp
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"No, I've-I've got him," she answered. She took one last blurry-eyed look at the doctor and then stepped into the room that not three hours ago was witness to the birth of the child in her arms. Clara's eyes immediately fell on the prone form of her mother and the hunched figure of her father in a chair beside her mother's bed.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsSoFhWhMaG
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"M-mother?" She whispered, the word catching in her throat. Her mother looked up at her when she spoke, a pained smile on her lips.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo7OUx7RvPu
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"Clara, my darling," she said, holding out a pale and shaking hand towards her daughter. Clara took it without hesitation, even though she was still holding her little brother.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4qQnemf6z9
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"You are dying aren't you?" She asked, squeezing her mother's hand with all of her might.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkoJMmJ3sLm
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"Yes, my darling," her mother said, her own hand squeezing on Clara's weakly. They were both silent for a moment, the only sounds in the room her father's muffled sobs and her mother's wheezing breaths. Clara dipped her head down, trying to mask her tears, but raised her head when a gentle hand was placed on her cheek.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmSPXy8xbAO
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"Clara, I am so proud of you," her mother breathed, her mother's eyes meeting Clara's gray ones. "You are the best daughter your father and I could've wished for, the best sister your siblings could have been given, and-" Her mother broke off with a coughing fit as her hand left Clara's face to cough into a blood-stained handkerchief.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb9YgsBTnpx
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"And," her mother continued, her voice sounding strained, "You are already growing into a beautiful, caring, and smart young lady." Her mother paused to take another rattling breath, her eyes drifting closed for but a second before fluttering back open.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOnjMJhjhrU
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"We already ask so much of you, your father and I, we know that, but Clara, my darling, once I am gone you will need to help your father in any way you can, more than you already do. It is unfair of me to ask you to help raise your siblings when you have not yet grown up yourself, but-"952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXgDZT5GnO1
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"Mother, don't worry," Clara cut in, grasping onto her mother's hand even tighter. "I will do anything to help, you know that." Her mother gave her a watery smile in return.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoGsbVJI0tm
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"Yes, I do, my darling girl, I do, but don't forget about you in the process, do not lose yourself along the way. I won't have you throwing your life away for the sake of everyone else."952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTjz1YOST6R
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"I won't, Mother, I promise I won't," she said, speaking to her mother in earnest.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhyUlRTB67
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"Then that is all I could wish for." Her mother's hand squeezed her own, and as her mother breathed another wheezing breath, Clara looked into her mother's brown eyes. In them she saw love and pain mixed into a poisonous concoction until both were gone and her mother's hand slackened in her grip.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ03k1SJ1Phf
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She allowed herself to be pushed out of the way by her grieving father and the gentle-handed maids, her whole body numb and her mind whirling with barely contained emotions. The last look she had of her mother burned into her mind even as she once again tried to calm her little brother.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7icL7wJHMH
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Remembering her mother's vacant brown eyes and her limp hand holding the bloodied handkerchief, Clara made a promise. She made a silent promise to her father, her siblings, and lastly, her mother, that she would do exactly what her mother had asked her to. She would do her best to help in any way she could.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5oft34WDla
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However, looking down at her squirming brother while her ears picked up on the sounds of her sisters waking as well as the noises of her grieving father, she knew she had her work cut out for her.952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡII9n7idYFO
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What do you guys think? Will she be able to keep her promise to her mother? Tell me in the comments!952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkBvhglq8AV
952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE0HTUmI546
952Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIg5hRd6ng6
Edited as of: July 27th, 2015
ns3.15.5.184da2
