I laughed as mum made a joke. What is was I don’t remember, only that it involved the word “bootylicious”… which my mum had discovered that day and found hilarious. We were in the supermarket, walking side by side as mum pushed the trolly out onto the pathway leading to the carpark.
“HELP!” I turned from talking to mum as someone screamed out, followed by my name, piercing through my body like a bullet. There she was, leaning out a car window as she screamed out for help, screamed for me. She screamed my name over and over, reaching out for me through the window as her blond hair flew around her face. I ran a couple steps, meeting her blue eyes as they filled with horror.
She screamed one last time.
And the car exploded.
I ran for the car, watching it roll several meters to the left as it burned. I kept running for the wreck, people running to the sidelines as it played the roll of a sideways monster truck across the other cars. The world slowed, my progress like a toddler’s hesitant stumble.
I yelled her name. My mind flicked to her smile as she leaned against a wall eating a hotdog. My heart remembered the pain I had shared with her, the laughter that had brightened up my week. The tears she had shed, the anger she possessed that was hotter than any blaze. The effort we had made for our friendship to work.
I yelled again as my vision cleared. A man grabbed me ten meters from the burning vehicle, wrapping me in his arms as I struggled to get to her. To protect her, to lay her head on my lap and promise her everything would be okay.
I yelled her name again, a single name that ran through me, ‘TEGEN!’
But he held me, his arms like metal around me, unbreakable as the fire even here warmed my face. My yell turned to sobbing, a pain running me through like a blade. My body jolted from the impact, shattering any kind of control I had held.
I couldn’t help her. I couldn’t get to her. I couldn’t even drag her from the car.
The man let me go and I bolted for the wreck, finding an invisible force held me back, a barrier I couldn’t get through no matter how I battered it with my fists.
All I could do was watch, silently mouthing her name over and over like a mantra “Tegen… Tegen...”
My soul cracked, leaving my body limp, falling to my knees. The world tunnelled, fading out until all I saw in the blackness was me and the car.
I curled in on myself, becoming so small I hope I would stop existing.
ns 18.68.41.177da2
