C H A P T E R 1
I lazily rolled over, squinting my eyes at the alarm clock that blinked 5:34 A.M. Yawning, I immediately wondered what the hyungs were doing. Of course, Seungri was still sleeping, as the good little maknae he is. Taeyang and Daesung may be up, making breakfast or playing around. And Seunghyun- well, he's either making himself coffee, being an insomniac writing at his desk or still in his deep sleep from all of the wine he drinks before going to bed.
Tirelessly, I got up from the bed, scratching the back of my head, still yawning. I ruffled my hair, combing it with my fingers, barely taking the effort to make it look nice. Yes, I'm a perfectionist, but please, it's five in the morning. I walked down the hallway, hearing silence when I walked past the hyung's dorms. I rubbed my eyes, going into the bathroom. I should get a shower first before all the others storm in here. I locked the door, and turned on the shower water.
"Jiyong?" I heard a voice, and my heart stopped in fear. Realizing who it was, I sighed. "Seungri, why aren't you asleep?" I muttered. "I'm sorry... I was just curious of who was awake." Seungri replied, and I chuckled at his sleepy voice. "Go back to bed, child." I yawned at the end of my sentence, and Seungri whined, walking away. "Some father you are." I heard him say, and I laughed at myself, finally being alone in peace. I took off my clothes, stepping into the shower, washing myself.
I turned the water off, stepping out. I wrapped a towel around me, shaking my wet orange hair. Unlocking the door, I walked through the hallway quickly, making wet footsteps onto the carpet, trying to get to my room without anyone spotting me. "Ji?" I heard a voice. I turned around, noticing the figure was Seunghyun. "S-seunghyun... why are you awake?" I asked him as he stood in front of the door to his dorm. I blushed a bright pink, water still dripping from my body.
"I couldn't sleep... I was just reading, and I heard your footsteps... I thought it was Seungri hyung who was making the noise." Seunghyun said, and I felt a little reassured. "Ah, well, he was up earlier, but I told him to go to bed. I was just taking an early shower... uh... feel free to go in after me." I stuttered, hoping he thought it was just because I was cold. "Thanks, Ji." Seunghyun smiled, and I pursed my lips. Why am I blushing and stuttering? Sighing, I walked into my room, closing the door behind me. I put on a loose shirt and some baggy pants to wear around the house, until me and the hyungs went to go somewhere.
I fell back onto the bed, staring at the alarm clock and back at the ceiling. 6:17 A.M. I was too awake for sleep after that shower. Daesung and Taeyang will be awake soon to make breakfast and do the chores. But why did I blush and stutter when talking to Seunghyun? That's not like me... maybe it was because I was in a towel, but he's seen me like that before every time he went to go take a shower after me. I rolled around, tossed and turned, trying to get the subject off of my mind, until thankfully I heard more footsteps, and the sound of Seunghyun's shower must've been over.
"Good morning, hyung." Seungri sleepily walked out into the hallway, greeting me. "Good morning, maknae." I replied back, and he yawned. I smiled as I walked into the kitchen, Daesung and Taeyang were making soup, and I made my way towards the coffee brewer, but there was no coffee. I always waited for Seunghyun to make coffee, he made it the best way. "Good morning." Taeyang grinned at me, getting bowls out of the cabinet while Daesung cut up vegetables behind the counter.
"Oh, Dae, are you making us eat healthily again?" I turned my head to a husky voice, belonging to Seunghyun. "Of course." Daesung replied. "Good morning." He added, looking at Seunghyun and back at to what he was doing. I stared Seunghyun down, as he went to go make the coffee. His dark hair was in his face, and still wet from his shower. "Ji, coffee?" Seunghyun asked me as he went to the brewer. "Yes please, hyung." I smiled sleepily, and he chuckled at me, making the coffee. "You want green tea, Ri?" I asked Seungri who was playing with his fingers like a child. He nodded, and I got up to pour tea into a glass. "Here's your breakfast." Daesung handed Seungri a bowl of soup.
"Thanks hyung." Seungri smiled, and I handed Seungri his tea. "For you." Seunghyun grinned, handing me a cup of coffee, the way I like it- black. "Thank you Seung." I smiled, sipping the coffee. "Do we have anything to do today?" Taeyang asked, sitting down at the table with his breakfast. I checked our schedule, sighing. "Photoshoots." I muttered. "Hey, those aren't so bad." Seungri said, trying to enlighten the mood. I glared at him, and he quickly went back to eating his soup. "Sorry dad." He chuckled, and I rolled my eyes. "Dad..?" Seunghyun shot me a questioning look. "Agh, dont worry about it, just a joke." I giggled. "I'll be grandpa." Seunghyun said playfully, and everyone laughed.
"So when are the photoshoots? And is it with YG family or just BigBang?" Seunghyun asked, putting his cup into sink as Taeyang did the dishes. "Just..." I curiously looked at the schedule again, "Just BigBang photoshoots." I answered. "Oh good." Seunghyun smiled in relief. Daesung chuckled at Seunghyun's sigh. "Anyway, it starts at 11:00." I announced. Everyone nodded. "I'm going to go take a shower." Seungri said, getting up from the table. "No, I want a shower first!" Daesung yelled. I shook my head, running my hand down my face, smiling. "Not before Taeyang gets there first." Seunghyun laughed at Taeyang who was sneakily running for the bathroom. "Agh! Tae!" Seungri yelled and ran after him.
"Well, there goes the boys." Seunghyun said with a low tone of voice, sending a chill down my spine. "Ji, you've been really jumpy today, what'd wrong?" He asked, walking over to me, sitting down. My mind was crammed, and I couldn't think. "Just anxiety with this weeks schedule is all..." I flashed Seunghyun a fake smile. "Come on, Jiyong, that's obviously not it." He said, as if he was trying to find out my biggest secret, but even I couldn't find that out for myself. "What do you mean?" I looked at him in confusion, still trying to pull this off. Face it, your jittery because you like him. My mind told me, but I couldn't just like my hyung, could I? "I mean, whenever someone talks to you jump up to your feet quickly, and, you just haven't been yourself lately." Seunghyun said. Was he catching onto me? "I'm fine, hyung." I sighed, getting up from the table, but he reached for my hand. "Are you sure?" Seunghyun asked, holding my hand and it felt like I was frozen.
"I-I, yeah, yeah, I'm sure, hyung..." I stuttered, and Seunghyun furrowed his eyebrows. "Is it because of me..?" Seunghyun asked, and I felt a rush of nervousness overflow me. Yes, it is... "Why would you assume that?" I said, with almost a bitter tone. "Sorry, Ji, forget I said anything..." Seunghyun sighed, and I felt guilty. "But let me ask you this, Ji," Seunghyun said, and I braced myself. "Do you like me as... more than a hyung?" Seunghyun asked, and my heart stopped. "W-what? No, hyung... you're like my brother... I can't like you like that." I scratched the back of my head. "It's not the point of can't liking me, it's the point of do you like me?" Seunghyun leaned into my face, and my heart was racing a mile. "N-no, hyung..." I replied, and he stepped back. He said nothing, and just walked away.
I stood there in the kitchen, feeling as if I was paralyzed. I could still hear the others arguing about who was going to get in the shower first. Sighing, I made my way to the situation. "Jiyong hyung! They're stealing my turn!" Seungri said as if he was a little kid. I shook my head as I saw Taeyang and Daesung wrestling on the ground. "Children." I laughed under my breath, and they stopped. "Let Seungri take his shower first, okay? Then Daesung, and then you, Taeyang." I pointed at all of them as if I was making a map. "Agh, no fair, maknae always gets to go in." Taeyang mumbled. "But dad." Daesung emphasized, and I laughed. Seungri went into the bathroom, and I saw Seunghyun being sneaky with a phone.
"Seung?" I said, and Seunghyun's eyes widened as I called his name. He put his fingers up to his lips, and quickly went into the bathroom. "Aish!" I heard a scream from Seungri. "Seunghyun hyung, quit bullying the maknae." Daesung laughed, and Seunghyun quickly ran out of the bathroom, phone in hand as Seungri ran out with a towel wrapped around him. "No! Don't you dare post that on social media! Seunghyun! Do you hear me? Seunghyun!" Seungri screamed all around the house and I just hysterically laughed, falling to the floor. "Oh my goodness..." I wheezed. "Ji, take this!" Seunghyun said, throwing the phone into my hands. I looked at the phone, and then quickly back at Seunghyun. I started to run as Seungri's footsteps got closer. "Agh! Jiyong hyung! Please!" Seungri begged.
"Okay, okay, Ri." I panted, holding my knees, tossing the phone back to Seunghyun, only making Seungri more angrier. "I'm sorry, little bro..." Seunghyun laughed, patting Seungri's back. "Don't touch me." Seungri said hastily, smacking Seunghyun's hand. Everyone's eyes widened, but Seungri seemed not phase. "Alright. Let's see... YouTube..." Seunghyun mumbled to himself, clicking onto his phone. "Hyung! Please, no! I'm sorry!" Seungri yelled. "What do you say?" Seunghyun glared. "I'm sorry for smacking you." Seungri apologized. "Alright, alright, that's enough, children." I replied. "Yes, grandpa has had enough." Seunghyun said, standing beside me. "What? You started it!" Seungri yelled. "Sh, Ri, don't talk back to grandpa." Seunghyun crossed his arms, smiling and closing his eyes as if he was royalty.
"I want my shower." Seungri pouted, trying to open the bathroom door, but it was locked. "Where's Taeyang?" I asked, chuckling to myself. "Agh! Taeyang hyung!" Seungri yelled, knocking on the door several times. "Yes, RiRi?" Taeyang said behind the door, turning the shower water on. Seungri sighed, going into the living room. "Okay, that's enough bullying maknae for the day." I tried to stop smiling, and went into the living room. "I'm getting in that shower, so don't even try it, Dae." Seungri warned Daesung who just giggled like a little boy. I sat by Seungri, patting his back. "It'll be okay." I said in a joking tone, I couldn't sound serious at this moment. He mumbled something, and went to sit beside the bathroom door. "Bullies." Seungri said loudly from the hallway, and Seunghyun laughed, gosh, I love his laugh... of course I do.
I tried to push my thoughts away, turning on the T.V. I looked as Seunghyun picked up the schedule, peering over it. "We have a photoshoot together, Ji, just us." He said, and I went to look over his shoulder. "I guess we do." I said with a lump in my throat, and Seunghyun gave me a concerning look. He's gonna figure it out... Daesung eyed me down, as if he already knew, but I just denied it. Either way, Seunghyun is straight, like me... he likes girls... like me... and he's my hyung, we're just... in a band. "Oh." Seunghyun said, as if he was surprised. "What?" I leaned more closer over his shoulder, and he turned his face to me, our noses barely touching. I couldn't breathe, he stared at me with his deep brown eyes, and his cologne was starting to hit me more than ever. I couldn't move, nor did I know what to do.
"We have a... uh... couple shots photoshoot, where the fans request, like... ship pictures, so we have to do close-ups of us... uh..." Seunghyun stuttered now, and I lost my train of thought. "Of us... kissing..." Seunghyun exhaled as if he didn't know how to breathe. Is he catching feelings? No, of course not... "Oh, that's no so bad, right..?" I pulled myself away from him. I couldn't stand being that close to his face... that handsome face... God, what the fuck is wrong with me today? "Yeah, I guess not..." Seunghyun replied, putting the schedule down quickly. Too quickly. I heard Seungri's scream of victory as Taeyang finally walked out of the bathroom, and I giggled a little as Daesung had a straight face. "That was mean, but funny..." I laughed, high-fiving Taeyang, earning a look from Seunghyun. What was that look for..?
"Hey, when Seungri and Daesung are done with their showers, you guys wanna go for a walk?" I suggested, and everyone smiled, nodding. "You better get dressed, first." Seunghyun said to me, and I looked down at my shirt and sweatpants. Oh, yeah... "Should we wear our masks?" Daesung asked. "Probably." I sighed, looking at my black mask that I usually wear whenever going out. Seunghyun had the same one as me. Seungri walked out of the shower, his silver hair wet and covering his eyes. Daesung got up, running for the bathroom. "We're going for a walk after Daesung hyun is done, get dressed." I said to Seungri who quickly jogged to his room. "Yay!" He cheered. Seungri really was like a kid, but we loved him for it.
I stumbled to get up, walking to my room. I opened the sliding door to my closet, looking at all of my clothes. "If I wear anything like BigBang merch, people will know it's me..." I mumbled to myself, and finally picked out a tight black shirt with skulls on it, and black skinny jeans. "Perfect." I smiled at myself in the mirror, and then went to go brush my teeth. I ran my fingers through my hair with effort this time, ruffling it, making sure it looked decent. I put on my gauges, infinity necklace and a few rings I usually wore. I closed the door to my room, and was greeted by the elder's unexpected voice. "You talk to yourself?" Seunghyun asked. "O-oh, yeah... that's what perfectionists do, right?" I chuckled nervously, stuttering again. God damn it. walking quickly past him, and he grabbed my arm. "Are you sure you're okay, Ji?" He asked with concern in his eyes. No, my mind is fighting against me. "Yes, hyung." I said, walking away, missing the feeling of his hand being on my arm. Do I like him?
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