恐懼是這世界上最值錢的事物。它使人趨吉避凶,使膽小者無敵。人們追尋的事物往往是自己最深沉的恐懼。598Please respect copyright.PENANAl64PHAJjOk
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恐懼只懼怕空白,那是唯一沒有恐懼的事物,因為空白無意義、排斥意義。598Please respect copyright.PENANA56uMKwbPxe
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而意義往往是恐懼所挾帶著的東西。598Please respect copyright.PENANApoT27Ny2mo
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他當然沒有意識,因為他什麼都不是。他就是純然的空白,是擁有人身的空白。598Please respect copyright.PENANAhgfXV7I6za
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第一次誕生在這個世界,他被一顆又一顆的眼睛圍攻,掃來掃去的視線如紅外線,一掃到它,就觸發了他身體的哭泣開關。598Please respect copyright.PENANAN8PO6bM1MU
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嘶聲力竭的哭聲下,周圍的人們互相道賀,這是健康的新生命,會航向自己的人生。他會有自己的思考、自己的感受、自己的意識。598Please respect copyright.PENANAIHlj6hkl7v
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就算他不相信人擁有自由意識,也不相信自己有。598Please respect copyright.PENANA9dXofeGcpF
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他很正常的長大,會爬會走會跳會講話。父母把他交給幼稚園,催促它去陪同學遊戲。但是同學沒有一位接納他,願意留下來的只有靜默的書本。598Please respect copyright.PENANAaWcbyVYUr0
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大部分時間老師是不管的,他也就靜靜的坐在角落,看自己的書。偶爾被老師叫去做什麼,他就做什麼,而且效率良好。在家長的關心下,老師試著溝通幾次,他還是無法融入同儕的活動。598Please respect copyright.PENANAh2eJlHdFMb
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他日復一日沉進在書的世界裡,讓知識用力的攻擊他的腦袋,就算他一點也不懂。他其實不太確定自己看了什麼,就是無意義的看著,一如繼往。598Please respect copyright.PENANAps2tuiaIWs
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大概小學時,他看懂了文章講述的道理。他細心收納看到的東西,閒暇時間拿出來仔細思考。598Please respect copyright.PENANAw6Qk7vk4ds
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他像是一張白紙,「世界」這個影印機不停轉動,把訊息印在他的腦袋中。別人的知識在他的腦袋中轉動,他將那些知識打散融合,去蕪存菁。598Please respect copyright.PENANAxUVCScP9hj
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腦袋中是這樣滿溢著思考,就算原本純然的空白不見了,但他不在乎。別人說他很聰明,鼓勵他思考、表達。他以獨立性自豪,自我介紹時總是說自己很有想法。598Please respect copyright.PENANAQs4Pw31Bw0
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雖然這也不是他自己的想法,他很清楚這點。那都是由他看到的東西拼湊而成,而不是自己創作的。但書上說,那確實是原創,因為他想出來的規則是錯誤的。世界不會錯,錯的只會是自己。598Please respect copyright.PENANAvdJP5wJlxz
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他懷疑「原創」的真實性。但他總是想錯,他想,他可以因此確認自己的存在。598Please respect copyright.PENANA2DCvogyp7R
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他認為想法從書本借來的、思考是從想法中找出來的。他的存在讓這些思考、這些想法變成錯誤的。598Please respect copyright.PENANAMrHA7l4ghz
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但那些想法本來是可以正確的,這真不公平。598Please respect copyright.PENANAGAcOS0FZjM
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錯誤只會越積越多,他漸漸把知識與思考通通否定。那些都是外來物,都不是真正的他,就算那些是錯誤的。他在錯誤之間徘徊、在否定自我與否定世界之間掙扎。598Please respect copyright.PENANA84WkGMBOhG
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他懷念起最初的空白。598Please respect copyright.PENANAYT5ofKA8K7
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周圍的人在他身邊嘰嘰喳喳,像是不間斷的狂風,吹亂了他的思緒。598Please respect copyright.PENANAs1fFKt4buo
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在眾人的簇擁下,他否定了自我。但是他的主觀意識太強烈,掙扎著不消失,排斥掉他嚮往的純然空白。在這迴圈中繞來繞去,他得不到真正的滿足。598Please respect copyright.PENANAiu5lvNwp9I
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直到他意識到這是世界的陰謀。世界讓他吸收太多的東西,讓他忙到沒時間消化一切,只顧著接收。但是他就是倚靠世界生存的,除了愈浸愈深以外,就只剩下死亡了。598Please respect copyright.PENANAsL4wQ8AW7d
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他不願死亡。598Please respect copyright.PENANAH9XfQ1S2im
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恐懼使他拋棄自我、拋棄思考、拋棄知識,只剩下純然的恐懼。他仍然得不到空白,就像白紙上的墨跡怎樣都擦拭不掉。598Please respect copyright.PENANA37DFWhQbcb
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他被恐懼接管,眼睜睜的看著自己掠奪一切,把看得到的都佔為己有。偶爾他搶不過來,也幻想自己拿到了,並且信以為真。598Please respect copyright.PENANABlKZSfDRRo
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最終他依靠著害怕,擁有了全世界。598Please respect copyright.PENANA8OFsQPpH72
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他是純然的恐懼。
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