The next time I woke up in the depths of Hell, I had a much nicer greeting. The main difference was that I had a bed. Sure, it was a moldy, damp, 90-percent-stone bed, but it was a bed all the same. After being thrown to the floor of a jail cell and being possessed by some crazy rogue angel, I was just happy I could lie down somewhere mildly comfortable.
"LUUUUUUKE!!! SHE'S AWAKE!!" Someone yelled from beside my bed. I groaned and turned onto my side to see Lyon, his pale face flushed and his dark eyes tired and weary. He mussed up his black hair a little and glanced to the door, where Death was standing.
Her eyes shot daggers into my skull. I rolled my eyes. For Gods' sake, it wasn’t like I was the one trying to strangle her. I turned onto my back just as Luke rushed in.
His chiseled face seemed like it had aged years since I’d fallen unconscious.
“Is he gone? Can I go back home, now?” I croaked.
He sighed, running a hand over his face. I wondered what had happened to make him so exhausted. Even Lyon’s childlike eyes were weary.
“Well, we do need one more thing from you.” Answered Luke, with a sigh. “It’s our responsibility to inform the Angels of Cassiel’s behaviour, but they have absolutely no concept of modern technology so instead of a simple email, we had to send a letter and make a formal request for a meeting with them. That's wasting a ton of time, and they still haven't written back PROBABLY BECAUSE THEIR SNAIL MAIL IS SO DAMN SLOW." He yelled in the general direction of the sky. He inhaled and exhaled slowly. “Anyhow, we should be receiving a reply some time soon.”
"Some time soon? Would you mind being a little more exact? I kinda have a life to get back to--” I pointed upwards “--up on Earth. Or the Realm of the Living, whatever. What do I even have to do?”
Just as Luke was about to answer, the biggest raven I’ve ever seen flew through the window and crashed into the wall behind me. I ducked and shrieked as Lyon suddenly jumped up.
“Anubis!!!” He tsked and gingerly picked up the raven, then turned slightly to face Luke. “We really should bring him to Ianuaria, there's definitely something wrong with him!” Luke rolled his eyes and pulled up a chair beside my bed.
“So… you have a gargantuan raven that’s named after the former Greek lord of the underworld. Fantastic. Does that raven happen to have something telling me when I can leave this place?”
Luke took the letter from Anubis’ claws and slowly ripped it open with his teeth. Like he could get any more barbaric. “Patience, young grasshopper. Only time will tell the future.”
It was my turn to roll my eyes. “Jesus Christ, please don’t preach to me.”
Luke grinned. “Close, but not quite. It’s Prince Lucifer, remember? Jesus and I were pretty tight a millennia ago but we’ve kinda drifted apart. Y’know, what with his father locking me up and everything. Those were some sad times but I’m over him now.”
I stared at him in disbelief, mouth slightly ajar. How was it even possible to go from a fatigued businessman to a raging tech-guy to a cheery jokester, all in a matter of less than ten minutes?
He hummed as he unfolded the letter. He scanned it, and I saw his eyes darken, his face growing weary once more. “Dear God, the angels and their parties. They’ve invited us to a gala to express our concerns about Cassiel.”
“You know, considering you’re the Devil and all, you seem to have very little qualms about naming our great Lord above…”
He rolled his eyes. “It’s like everyone thinks I’m having a constant war with God! I’ll say his name as much as you like! GOD GOD GOD GOD GOD GOD GOD.”
I looked at him, seriously questioning his mental stability. “So you’re okay with everything else, too? Holy water, crosses, that stuff?”
He didn’t answer. Instead, Death piped up, sneering. “Do you think he would tell you, a pathetic human, what his strengths and weaknesses are? You think too highly of yourself.”
I gave her a hard stare, tired of her condescending aura, but not tired enough to have a death wish, so I didn’t make any efforts to argue back. Instead, I turned back to Luke. “So are you gonna tell me what I’m supposed to do to get out of this literal Hell?”
“Oh, yes, so at the gala we’re going to have to have some sort of proof that Cassiel's gone rogue, especially since he's a pretty high ranking angel. So, since he possessed you and that's basically one of the worst crimes an angel can commit, we just need to get a full recap from you and anyone else who was watching saying what exactly happened, how it felt, etcetera."
I nodded slowly. "And what if they don't believe us?"
He pursed his lips thoughtfully. "Well, then we're screwed. We'll have to deal with Cassiel ourselves, and to be quite honest, many of the members of my army are either too tired to fight, or to excited to listen to instructions."
I sighed, then sat up slowly, ignoring the stabs of pain in my head and lower back. "I guess I'll have to be as believable as possible, then."
He smirked. "Just tell the truth and cry a lot. You'll be fine."
I rolled my eyes. “Thanks for the vote of confidence. When’s the gala?”761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvfkj8RYLNz
He looked back down at the invitation. “In a fortnight.”
I swallowed nervously. “I’m not exactly adept in old english but I’m pretty sure that a fortnight is two weeks.”
He nodded. “That’s correct.”
I threw my head against the wall behind me. “So you’re telling me that I have to stay in this hell-hole for another two weeks before I can go back home? How long has it been already? I have a family, you know, people who actually care about me? Maybe that’s a foreign concept to you, but for all I know, they think I’m dead, and trust me it’s not a nice feeling when a family member dies!!”
“For God’s sake, you silly humans and your sentimentality! If you must know, it’s been six days since we brought you here.”
“SIX DAYS?” I shrieked. “How long was I asleep for??”
Lyon spoke up. “Well you were in the cell for about two days before you woke up, then after that whole thing with Cassiel, you were unconscious for three days.”
I shut my eyes tight, willing this to be some crazy dream. “So that’ll be twenty days gone. I’m gonna miss exams. I’m gonna miss junior prom.” There was a silence where I heard Luke and Lyon shift uncomfortably beside me. Then my eyes flew open. “Shit!!! I’m going to miss my father’s wedding!!”
Luke snorted. “Pfft. Weddings. I’ve never understood them. If a man and a woman are committed to each other, then they shouldn’t need some certificate to make it official. All marriage does is make it harder to get out of a relationship when something goes wrong.”
I glared at him. “That opinion is probably why you’re still single.”
“I don’t need a girlfriend. Or any significant other, for that matter. I’m a wild horse. I can’t be tamed. Besides, I’ve lasted a millennium without any companions except Lyon and Death, I can last the rest of my life. Why do you care, anyways? Oh, I know, it’s because humans always need to be with other humans and you’re depressed because you don’t have a boyfriend and you won’t get one because you talk too much and you’re annoying and you nag and, and…”
“We can make some arrangements for you to attend your father’s wedding.” Lyon interjected calmly. Luke stuck his tongue out at him, bus despite his infuriatingly childish behaviour, Luke’s face seemed to have regained some colour and the bags under his eyes were more faded than before. I couldn’t say the same for myself, though. I suddenly was in desperate need of sleep.
“Thanks, Lyon.” I said, grateful that someone was willing to help.
He gave a small smile. “What day is it on?”
“July third.”
Luke suddenly laughed. We both turned to him sharply. “What?” I asked.
“That’s the day after the gala.” He smirked. “Let’s just hope the Angels put away the alcohol… put some human substance into their systems and suddenly they can party through the whole night. They also get surprisingly friendly. Maybe we should wait for them to drink before breaking the bad news, eh?” He chuckled to himself.
I groaned, turning to Lyon. He shrugged. “Maybe your dad’ll push the wedding back, since you’re missing. If we just go straight back to the Realm of the Living after the gala, I’m sure you’ll make it there on time.”
“I can just imagine the look on my grandmother’s face when I walk in late. And her voice, ugh. ‘Lucille is always punctual! What’s that dress you’re wearing, you should’ve worn the one Lucille picked out for you! Oh, doesn’t Lucille look lovely? I wish you’d dye that stupid red hair of yours and act normal for once! Lucille, Lucille, Lucille!!!’” It was such a great impression of my grandmother, I wished she was there to hear how horribly annoying she was.
“Your grandmother seems like a nice lady.” Commented Luke, with no hint of sarcasm in his voice. “I think we’d agree on a lot of things.” Death snickered by the door. I’d almost forgotten she was there.
Lyon stood up. “Alright, I’m sure Rose is really tired, let’s go get some food so she can sleep.”
“Wow, you guys eat food? I’m surprised you’d do something so humane…” I muttered dryly.
Luke winked. “Trust me, it’s not the kind of food you’d appreciate.”
I paled, and they walked out, leaving only the rustles of my sheets to nourish my ears.
Author's Note: I know, I know, it's been a while. I've been swamped with schoolwork and now I'm in the middle of final exams, but my summer vacation starts in one week and I'll write tons! Please comment if you have any feedback or constructive criticism!!!
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