你好，我是莊坌但。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkr5ajjCfK2
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxcN7RQacHY
等等，你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來，然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊？373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT4kqcQn9XL
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQYLndSTzrB
對，我也覺得這名字很白痴，尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子，終於在我一歲整時，去找個算命師特別算出來的名字，據說是九五之尊的好名字。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMXoovoBoHa
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEHNsxbJw7c
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字，九五個屁。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRVCan8iWd5
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvlvztZZ4vX
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時，那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLcqbIdSFC7
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡopsakrqggi
媽的，在我面前被抄掉耶。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnckpVuN9oI
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡijsquAkdcr
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷，不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcyw5ZFWS6D
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw08ljaYg2b
更別說每次的自我介紹了，那簡直是地獄。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9kI6qtFaxl
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4kfdEmSl64
「大家好，我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭，不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉，那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmtMznlGvBm
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwN6GGdcyy5
小學一年級，同學看不懂我的名字，還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhIJ8GVCOLO
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXntbOw8rvL
到了小學六年級，那真的很恐怖。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77puybKMPw
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuhfYDrO4e8
「喂，那叫莊什麼但？」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學，轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvj213Jhj2Z
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXENLbXOslo
「坌，念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu2LP9RM0SV
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTqsiempziI
全班開始爆笑，我只能站在台上傻笑，一直笑，不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwbSk46Jz1
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡslxF7pAeoj
請把這個畫面重播，這也是我國高中自我介紹時，所發生的慘劇。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCejrlamfe
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFgqPSpkPOW
而我的綽號，也一路走來，始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJk2TJMyMed
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2G3rAkX16D
大學聯誼時，我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7pMHRAuKgi
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCiukw2XjYT
「你好，我是……」373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡneicrg1SEe
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQBqcLUNQ2
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔！超厲害的對不對？坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌，但就是但是的那個但，所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔，超屌的對不對？」373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYJ0JU7zC0
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaJqJsu3ZNW
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁！373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ41QZzEQ7G7
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgu8XA1cko6
我就只能傻愣愣的笑，然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUuMZSvpXCk
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpzW9TVbhS
偏偏，我的長相比普通還普通，也沒有有錢的老爸，更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好，所以我一直沒有女朋友。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxYPRezh0x
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9pN7jm1RO0
畢竟，誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧？373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡipGjKXPppd
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSMEZDB9dd8
再說說我的人生吧，這名字絕對是個詛咒！373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR4i9YbaAVe
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1bTZPuAZ8H
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢，更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level！373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3qhMpXH9oB
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoA1hbnukTa
此時你一定會想，抵抗力提升有啥不好？373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0njoQEaoHb
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsSxr6j48q0
不好啊非常的不好啊！373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9JGL4XnESN
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡULMfJj9CL1
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友，我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMo9rvRaju5
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfmiwokzfbi
而體育老師的規定，只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加，前提是，他會陪著你去保健室。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv0qfKdYoOa
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkd7TZvYRuy
但是，就算測體適能前一天，我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦，只要一覺醒來，我就能夠用鼻子呼吸，然後痰也會自動消失，肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒！373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEkq243oPgd
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWglBjzVC1L
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字，接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlnyNR6EfAd
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHaQLlDiCcA
出了社會，總是得找份工作。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtVFO6iyhu1
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ80RwQnFIt6
我自己買了台50CC通勤。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ857mhxSXzI
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZErZzY3lO
但我想它跟我一樣，體弱多病。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3APKvCQj63
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxeMyiuBbAl
常常停個紅燈後，它就不想動了，所以我得一個月去車行一次，不然我就只能走路去上班。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn6zzuXtKno
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJ6JcpAPVf
而且我想，它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIH13IHQL4b
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGjIJFFbcOh
「坌但我今天坐公車來，等等載我回家喔。」373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhXsfc88yA
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRmU31KpRU8
「喔，不過我的50CC很爛，有可能一半就掛了喔。」373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5uN0GMrkE4
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsf29Ljdxt3
「哎呀，沒差啦，真的掛了再說。」373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrS3xRcAQBa
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqtlFJtWTRA
然後，我很順利的將同事載回去，而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAf3D7KTWJL
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm5dZe34a3o
「沒很爛啊，聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnVjZ9u7S0x
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbupue60rL7
我發動50CC，然後同事關門。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqTS5dU5rpK
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzhBeI5v2wl
它熄火，我傻眼。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsPQlWUrw3z
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtlcYVByXWQ
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條，所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家，一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡllKfLWD3Tb
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUuK7y2bUw
當然，出了社會還是沒有女朋友。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsAX8g0ObzT
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy9bGJfbcP4
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfbogWpQ1pH
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHF5ye6MeV9
但叫坌但又不是我的錯！373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUF7m4uHNyv
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYXeVQqu0TS
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了，隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉，偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到，以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ06d42uAA43
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg92f76u6Lb
我打開筆電，百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫，也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣，開個後宮吧？373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ121tBbDjSw
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCgFFWXqXK
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了，想到這裡，我竟然不自禁的笑了出來，笑到眼淚都飆了出來。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡspeT5Y5kgt
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdL3EcVZG1A
混帳，一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊！373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxnm9MCSXnu
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