你好，我是莊坌但。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDSOQmBP6D9
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfx5kzCYT50
等等，你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來，然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊？386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLhPD2iIwXa
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡawxBm7E9V7
對，我也覺得這名字很白痴，尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子，終於在我一歲整時，去找個算命師特別算出來的名字，據說是九五之尊的好名字。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1KqcL1xPy5
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡizfKOVK5Ae
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字，九五個屁。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwku5Lp0jC3
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2p0jOpE8wn
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時，那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvuhYe1s8y
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡemzNPgT0G4
媽的，在我面前被抄掉耶。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsyVPzdoH2X
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8FkJfd9lYG
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷，不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEkUXahOHRC
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbTXchFBuyy
更別說每次的自我介紹了，那簡直是地獄。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9JfS3NAmUD
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuFgCrN66Th
「大家好，我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭，不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉，那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmPCGJiYu80
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnwywn1qTC0
小學一年級，同學看不懂我的名字，還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGhywErfDCk
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDnG9U5Bzwm
到了小學六年級，那真的很恐怖。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6cAiZwFka
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVWbB1y1D9L
「喂，那叫莊什麼但？」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學，轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl6d67Vhxvr
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaO5ezen1we
「坌，念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87XdPwU6FH
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcST5qxUxFn
全班開始爆笑，我只能站在台上傻笑，一直笑，不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4B1XJXfNZn
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOkjCrioaUf
請把這個畫面重播，這也是我國高中自我介紹時，所發生的慘劇。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBhvik1YYwb
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5vTDTHxUib
而我的綽號，也一路走來，始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7sjNv20Nvl
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7nZ7VssX7J
大學聯誼時，我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzWjwC9fJO
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuLhPDaDkf6
「你好，我是……」386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡORj9nga1EF
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCCMBCeDFes
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔！超厲害的對不對？坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌，但就是但是的那個但，所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔，超屌的對不對？」386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQUqrmnPEZc
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8FokOD0T5
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁！386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjEEr6o8fru
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrCDpMyBzcP
我就只能傻愣愣的笑，然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJOmbEVHix
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYQVkyKpsP3
偏偏，我的長相比普通還普通，也沒有有錢的老爸，更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好，所以我一直沒有女朋友。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnDReRHwRbL
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlMSsASv2iT
畢竟，誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧？386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJR6HTDfAR
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo118xacXzb
再說說我的人生吧，這名字絕對是個詛咒！386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBNT9EV1nVn
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsCNlx7VFNX
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢，更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level！386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAGYeUdkpNu
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzwVpyP5mx3
此時你一定會想，抵抗力提升有啥不好？386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhkOTzPvwlj
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeZZk2xZGS8
不好啊非常的不好啊！386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ85Zdv8vwf5
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzPPXEHA1nr
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友，我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbv6zhnT216
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRuzKF8MgL9
而體育老師的規定，只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加，前提是，他會陪著你去保健室。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38567PZpzJ
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ81hfqPfCgt
但是，就算測體適能前一天，我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦，只要一覺醒來，我就能夠用鼻子呼吸，然後痰也會自動消失，肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒！386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2FI4V9xZJ6
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhwu5luJcrm
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字，接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7gqGeNrW6T
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJYQMfviWNX
出了社會，總是得找份工作。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0nSVkhhYoO
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcv20oPrGoq
我自己買了台50CC通勤。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN3bTNb0ueh
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfs1kmlbrJ
但我想它跟我一樣，體弱多病。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWKdse4Lfzm
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOIR2LtuECV
常常停個紅燈後，它就不想動了，所以我得一個月去車行一次，不然我就只能走路去上班。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMj13ZZKteL
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFChhSSAf83
而且我想，它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ6cxg0aSNk
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAvuohtg9RY
「坌但我今天坐公車來，等等載我回家喔。」386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxkWL9sHRtJ
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLzgSs6u2tL
「喔，不過我的50CC很爛，有可能一半就掛了喔。」386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmit2sXuXe3
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Sy6VztRLL
「哎呀，沒差啦，真的掛了再說。」386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeoWGjk1tk6
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡajlEzltIaq
然後，我很順利的將同事載回去，而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzkG3X8eZXI
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1mPJybgrDt
「沒很爛啊，聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFU4mv7Ezqd
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvTU6YsCfh7
我發動50CC，然後同事關門。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4s3UvLQIm8
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGq5Xqs5fFW
它熄火，我傻眼。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp5Y8yL346e
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvwmvJuHgQu
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條，所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家，一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9weSdaMlBp
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI24VFetjhz
當然，出了社會還是沒有女朋友。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbb6wEQh7Yw
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4XbN1FJdD7
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Do6H4Bg1O
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBFlhBfRgGZ
但叫坌但又不是我的錯！386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡObMbwvWu9A
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMBHFmGQ4Hb
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了，隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉，偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到，以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhEMoMSGCQ9
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo3o8vnsfb8
我打開筆電，百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫，也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣，開個後宮吧？386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ylINUCQCf
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJJ8447mlP
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了，想到這裡，我竟然不自禁的笑了出來，笑到眼淚都飆了出來。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf8P44QlpAC
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUnbpO4ssaJ
混帳，一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊！386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRh7AJ1MtHi
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