你好，我是莊坌但。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMAvPS2iTqQ
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxWHvfIZuth
等等，你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來，然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊？395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxGEbvvYi89
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5EQYsZwia
對，我也覺得這名字很白痴，尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子，終於在我一歲整時，去找個算命師特別算出來的名字，據說是九五之尊的好名字。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjCAoNvO0Iv
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQxWDPvYEHf
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字，九五個屁。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXscQa6tokY
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4jy0V0qftr
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時，那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAMeFbziA8b
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUX4d6IZ3Og
媽的，在我面前被抄掉耶。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ640V4dxsI
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡObZ2C4AxVk
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷，不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡux6oeMNR25
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEp5JzAeohB
更別說每次的自我介紹了，那簡直是地獄。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXXJ4yEGYO
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9HBLCoNgB0
「大家好，我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭，不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉，那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbPw1VV83b0
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcAtCKfEbel
小學一年級，同學看不懂我的名字，還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBTYjK4XMiz
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXRVTRKW1Dp
到了小學六年級，那真的很恐怖。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX7gnC5UCaf
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXCb1fqKbtT
「喂，那叫莊什麼但？」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學，轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBUlxC1FPNe
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZfFdMOVtcW
「坌，念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRblLdYHi1b
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZvwF9RE5Je
全班開始爆笑，我只能站在台上傻笑，一直笑，不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ735oReIOdw
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgz4nJS5RL
請把這個畫面重播，這也是我國高中自我介紹時，所發生的慘劇。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIgwcS1SJ8a
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJmuXRq6IL4
而我的綽號，也一路走來，始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbPSKKRBCPz
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8UZAQixeuG
大學聯誼時，我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLEaoEmjKVw
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡijDEStPVlH
「你好，我是……」395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVnvSLF0sq5
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7a2B7OnlKl
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔！超厲害的對不對？坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌，但就是但是的那個但，所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔，超屌的對不對？」395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4G9OadwtOK
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6GU2TS5bDy
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁！395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡymedRhZIGw
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3givHo7d1Y
我就只能傻愣愣的笑，然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTNEswgg49b
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBwgE0MGCkW
偏偏，我的長相比普通還普通，也沒有有錢的老爸，更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好，所以我一直沒有女朋友。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCyNS0w9DVV
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfvmgMGk9sc
畢竟，誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧？395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8tFohDSqE
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUXVpaOhpGU
再說說我的人生吧，這名字絕對是個詛咒！395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Wxm4dsk6p
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwkQOtOiDv
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢，更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level！395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYymuRCwTaF
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ88nP82XbgZ
此時你一定會想，抵抗力提升有啥不好？395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNpTnRp6xO
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIlAHxNvV6a
不好啊非常的不好啊！395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt8FFXjQ5Si
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4izsvb2fmT
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友，我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoWIvfZ5sWx
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDCB3HwKLOk
而體育老師的規定，只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加，前提是，他會陪著你去保健室。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNFwAuaUFxC
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt1o8biUWQw
但是，就算測體適能前一天，我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦，只要一覺醒來，我就能夠用鼻子呼吸，然後痰也會自動消失，肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒！395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsM8FydsQrv
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmlNPdkvf8F
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字，接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡox4KR5H76r
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5A8VXM6R3e
出了社會，總是得找份工作。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6x72gqyI1I
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7DMpkwAf32
我自己買了台50CC通勤。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZZOB72ECHn
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyIaCDA5aTq
但我想它跟我一樣，體弱多病。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlC6wQBEvBk
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf44ndasFK0
常常停個紅燈後，它就不想動了，所以我得一個月去車行一次，不然我就只能走路去上班。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmHcZLeh4lL
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH5JXuxnY4Y
而且我想，它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAoYlAbWJnH
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf9SPkBe1dB
「坌但我今天坐公車來，等等載我回家喔。」395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcyVSasurpw
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM37gWOgx3F
「喔，不過我的50CC很爛，有可能一半就掛了喔。」395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBvi56JjKXX
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1vX22VqHTk
「哎呀，沒差啦，真的掛了再說。」395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5gZwCg9dYy
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6o3XX87ls
然後，我很順利的將同事載回去，而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAeB72jFdYI
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ370ObtDxEA
「沒很爛啊，聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAnfKrJmybR
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡATzxmstrPU
我發動50CC，然後同事關門。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM5Kn9NvHRA
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjdr2qEo9uJ
它熄火，我傻眼。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3lzKYmRug
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwb0KkOGaxk
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條，所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家，一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoJ7tu5tfDK
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVBtnAYl2hN
當然，出了社會還是沒有女朋友。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68bbz4KN8X
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmTx6Mr4Oea
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNpTYOMEpB
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7OF3tXWWwC
但叫坌但又不是我的錯！395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcgeIlTjMJQ
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoiP8XZtvQt
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了，隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉，偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到，以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpmWnLFzwR
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ymQ2LtT1C
我打開筆電，百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫，也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣，開個後宮吧？395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNR0sem9Nru
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnfcb7e2i14
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了，想到這裡，我竟然不自禁的笑了出來，笑到眼淚都飆了出來。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFEcoKgzDUs
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡId5zyxYPSY
混帳，一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊！395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ny7fvjjml
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