I had so much trouble sleeping last night. All I could think about was rejecting Mr. Gonzales and us kissing at his apartment. I know it's wrong to be in a relationship with my teacher, but I can't help, but to feel drawn to him. He's the only one that helps me out and cares for me. I don't really get that from my parents and although Hailey is my best friend, we're not intimate like that so it's nice that someone else cares about me.
All throughout Spanish class, I couldn't stop wondering what Mr. Gonzales thinks of me when I rejected him yesterday. Does he still care about me or does he not want to be around me anymore? I hate feeling anxious like this so once class is over, I plan to confront him about yesterday.
The bell finally rung, signaling the end of class. I sat at my desk and slowly packed up, waiting for the class to file out. I told Hailey that I'll catch her in class later. Once the classroom was empty, I got up from my seat, hoisted my bag over my shoulder and walked over to Mr. Gonzales.
"Mr. Gonzales," I started.
"What is it?" He asked, not looking at me as he stood at his desk, collecting papers.
I took a deep breath then I began to tell him what's on my mind.
"I'm sorry about last night." I said then waited for his reaction.
"It's fine." He plainly said, still not looking at me.
"No. It's not fine. I'm really sorry about pushing you away. I didn't mean to."
That's when Mr. Gonzales finally looked at me and quickly hushed me up.
"Quiet. Keep your voice down." He commanded.
I stood there, quiet. I watched as he searched my face then he sighed and handed me a text book. I took the book from his hand and looked it over before looking back at him.
"You left it at my place." He said.
I nodded then held the book in my arms, not sure what to say next.
"To be honest, I thought you were more mature, but I guess I was wrong."
I blinked my eyes, really confused. What did he mean by I'm not mature? Does he mean that I'm not mature enough to have sex with him? His words actually struck home for me. I continued to watch him, wondering if he's going to say anything next. That's when I noticed that he looked over to the classroom door before looking at me again.
"You need to go. Class is about to start soon." He said softly.
I looked over to the classroom door to see students walking in then I looked back at him and sighed before I nodded and started walking out. I really didn't know what to think about Mr. Gonzales' words and him giving me the cold shoulder. I really don't like it and I feel like I have to fix it somehow. Even though I really don't want to admit it, especially to Hailey, I feel like I need to show Mr. Gonzales that I am mature enough to be with him.
***
That evening after school, I went over to Mr. Gonzales' place so I can talk to him. I stood at his door and knocked on it. I waited and waited till I saw the door opening and his face came into view. At first, he looked a bit surprised to see me, but then his face turned from being surprised to being dull, like he wasn't interested in seeing me.
"What do you want?" He asked.
I took a deep breath before speaking, choosing my words carefully.
"You're wrong," I started.
Mr. Gonzales raised his eyebrows in confusion and curiosity.
"I'm wrong? How?" He asked.
"You're wrong about me being not mature. I am and I came here to prove it to you." I continued.
Mr. Gonzales then sighed. "Ryder..."
"I've thought about it a lot. What you said, I mean. I'm much mature than you think. At first, when I pushed you away, I was just a bit...surprised. I didn't expect you to...you know. I really didn't think things were heading that way, but now, I'm ready. I'm ready for anything you throw at me. I'm ready...for you." I said softly.
All Mr. Gonzales did was stare at me so to break the ice, I decided to lean in and kiss him to show him that I'm serious about what I'm saying. Then, when I pulled back, I waited for his reaction. It seemed like he was still debating before I started to see his mouth curl into a mischievously smile and his eyes narrowed.
"Get in here." He ordered with a sexy tone then he grabbed onto my wrist and pulled me into the apartment.
After that, I wasn't sure what really happen. Everything was moving so quickly. First, he had me pinned to the door and we were kissing each other passionately as Mr. Gonzales ran his hands all over my body then he picked me up and took me to his bedroom. There, we continued to kiss while we removed articles of clothing till there was nothing else to get rid of.
At first, I was a little hesitant because I'm so nervous and Mr. Gonzales was able to see it because he suddenly stopped kissing my neck.
"What's wrong?" He asked softly.
I shook my head and tried to give him a reassuring smile.
"I'm just a little nervous is all." I admitted.
Then, Mr. Gonzales kissed my neck again.
"Mr. Gonzales," I started.
He quickly pulled away from my neck and stared down at me with eyes I've never seen before. They looked hungry and wild.
"Please, don't call me that tonight. Just call me Miguel." He commanded softly.
I quickly nodded then smiled softly.
"Okay, Miguel."
Mr. Gonzales grinned then he leaned down and kissed me on my lips again. After that, everything became a blur.
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