"Captain Prey, the enemy ship just achieved jump." The main viewer showed the scene. The Rougarian fleet carrier limped into its jump profile. Leaking jets of gas and flame from hundreds of holes in its hull, it wobbled in mid-flight, took a list to starboard, then shot into FTL, faster than light travel.
"Good luck getting that thing through a jump and back to real space in one piece." Joshua chuckled from his station, just off to the Captain's left hand and slightly aft of his command chair.
"Okay people, that went well, but now we need to attend to damage control. I won't take this ship anywhere until we're in prefect shape."
"Repairs are proceeding well, Captain. These repair drones are awesome. It's nice to have workers who don't have to breathe." The damage control officer reported.
"That's good to hear. How long before they finish?"
"At the current rate of repair, about thirty-five hours. They can only do so much so fast, and the area damaged is huge."
"Understood." Captain Prey sighed. "While we wait, I want an evaluation of every offensive system this ship has, and no, I don't care if the computer says it's functional. I want eyes on every system. When we get back to earth, I don't want anything to go wrong, not when our home planet is on the line."
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She woke up somewhere else. She knew she'd gone to sleep in their room, hers and Malachi's. Now she was somewhere else, somewhere she didn't want to be. The walls were the same: dirty, smudged, filthy, with two dim lights shining from the corners.
This was her home or had been her home for the first five years of her life. Now she only wondered why she was here again. This was a dream, it had to be, she knew that, but her mind had rendered it in such exquisite detail, even down to the mice she had longed to snack on as they scurried along the walls.
Pushing herself off the floor, she came to a sitting position and concentrated. If Malachi could bring her into his memories, maybe she could bring him into hers. Within seconds, an image of Malachi materialized next to her. Their eyes met as he turned to her and in that second, she knew he wasn't surprised.
"So, this is where you grew up?" He told her, turning his head to survey the room.
"Yeah, this was my cage. They did all kinds of things to me in here." She shook and shivered at the memories.
"I know." He answered.
"How could you know that? You weren't even here." Her head whipped up again to look him in the eye.
"Because I've been inside your head for a lot longer than you've been inside mine." The air inside the room seemed to have been sucked out.
"HOW long?" She howled. Tamar had to know, if he'd been inside her head, what had he seen?"
"Since about a week after I saved your life." He told her. "I think that tiny fragment of my suit is conveying our thoughts to each other. Because it came from this suit, and it's been connected to me for a lot longer than that tiny piece has been in you, I've been able to see your thoughts for a lot longer."
Tamar backed away. What had he seen? Why hadn't he ran screaming away from her? Everything she'd done, all the things that had been done to her. The dark and murderous thoughts she'd always had, these were things she'd never wanted anyone to see, and here they'd been his to sift through.
"But Mal, you've got to understand!" She pleaded. "I was so young, I couldn't even defend myself! They forced me to do it, all those things. I didn't have a choice!" She yelled, her voice rising in panic.
"Tamar?" He reached for her, a question in every movement.
She backed farther away the closer he reached.
"What?"
"Do you trust me?" His question took her aback, and after a few seconds, she realized that no, she didn't.
She didn't trust anyone, she couldn't, not really. She could be around other people, be friendly to people, even begin to develop a relationship with someone. But to trust someone, to really trust someone, that was beyond her capabilities. Her world had beaten her down so many times. People she'd trusted had betrayed her and taken tiny pieces of her heart each time until it was nothing more than a hollow shell. She didn't know how to trust.
"No, I don't, I can't." Then the tears came again. Tamar wanted so much to trust this man, to not hold herself back in fear of being hurt, but it was something she couldn't do. It wasn't a matter of want, it was a matter of capability, a capability she didn't possess.
"I know."
Her mouth fell open, her eyes staring in utter disbelief. Why was he like this? Why? His words cut straight through her defenses every time. If he already knew that answer, why did he ask the question? Tamar began to shake from the strength of her emotions. So much was inside her, ready to, eager to explode. She wanted so much more than what life had given her. Wanted to love and be loved, wanted, no needed to feel the embrace of someone she could trust, who would always love her and never betray her. Only she was so dirty, stained through to the core, and now Malachi had seen all of that, everything, even what the soldiers had done to her, with her.
"Then why do you even keep me around? What am I to you, some sort of pet?" The hair covering her head and neck began to rise onto their ends.
"Oh Tamar, is that what you think of me? After all I've done, do you think so little of me?"
"Yes! No? Oh I don't know. I mean, it's just, I can't do this!" she screamed. "I'm so dirty, and you're so, well, you." She was in his arms, held gently against his chest before she'd even realized he'd moved.
"And why do you think that would matter to me?"
"I'm not even a virgin!" She screamed into his chest. That fact had been effecting her more than she'd been willing to admit. For some reason, even in the culture she was raised in, Tamar had always had the dream of being married. Of giving herself to her husband on her wedding night. That dream, like so many others, had been cruelly ripped from her. "They forced me when I was too small to fight back. They took it from me and then laughed. I know you haven't had sex, that you're waiting until you're married. I can't give you want you want." Her tears stained his chest as she cried her pain into him.
"I know that too." he cupped her face in his hands and lifted it to face him. "My God does not see you as stained, or dirty, or worthless." A thumb slid across her cheek, catching a single tear. "And neither do I."
"But I still don't trust you. I don't trust anyone. I can't." Her sobs had subsided to heaving breaths, but her claws remained embedded in his suit.
"With everything you've been through, I can't blame you. But I promise I'll do my best to earn your trust every day."
"But why do you even want my trust? I can't give you anything you could possible want. All I am to you is a liability."
"All I want is you, just you. I don't want what you can give me, I don't care what you can do, what you can't do," he slid his hand from her cheek to in between her breasts, pressing it there until he could feel her heart beat racing beneath his palm. "All I want is you?"
Tamar melted against him, his touch setting her heart on fire. It sent fire racing from the top of her head to the end of her toes. She had to learn to trust him. She had to. Because she would not hurt him, she'd do whatever it took, but she would not hurt him, because he would not hurt her. She knew that.
Tamar sat bolt up right in bed. That realization had been enough to knock her out of a sound sleep. She knew he wouldn't hurt her, to the marrow of her bones. She knew that. Wasn't that the foundation of trust? Finally, with the sleep rubbed from her eyes, she looked over their tiny room and found Malachi crouching, his back against the wall. In the darkness, his outline stood out against the gray of the stone. He nodded once to her, and she smiled. He knew what she'd just come to realize, and that pleased him. She could feel it.
"Come here." She called, her voice thick with emotion. He rose from his crouch, the red in his eyes coming to life, drowning the room in dark shadows.
Tamar tossed the covers off the bed, her claws ripping deep slashes through them. Malachi moved with great care towards the bed. He didn't even seem to step towards her. There was nothing jerky or out of place in his slow strides. It looked like he floated just a half inch off the ground, rather than walked.
Getting to the bed, he sat at the foot, then placed his hand on her calf.
"Why are you down there?" Tamar asked, patting the bed beside her.
"Because I wasn't sure what you wanted. I'm not going to take anything for granted when it comes to you. You've had enough people to take what they wanted from you. I want only what you're willing to give me."
"Would you stop that?" She shook her head.
"Stop what?"
"If you keep talking like that, I'm going to start crying again. Now, would you just get up here?" Tamar pounded the bed next to her this time.
"You know we can't do anything right." He pinched his suit between forefinger and thumb.
"Is that disappointment I hear in your voice?" Tamar almost giggled.
"No, I'm kind of glad. You were right. I am trying to save myself until I get married." Tamar's face fell.
"So, you don't find me attractive?" Malachi could tell this was very important to her and the words of his father rang in his ears.
Every young lady wants someone to tell her she's beautiful. Her father should always call her lovely, but there is something a woman longs for, and it's for the man she loves calling her beautiful.
Malachi crawled up the bed, holding his body above hers as he moved up to her.
"I think you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." He lowered himself sideways until he was laying next to her on his side.
"Hrumff." Tamar grumped. "Why are you over there?" She rolled over onto her side, one arm snaking under him, the other under his arm and around his chest. "You're supposed to be over here." Taking a firm hold of him, she tried to pull him to her, but only managed to pull herself to him. Either way, it worked for her.
"You really think I'm pretty?" She asked him, her face buried in his chest.
"Have I ever lied to you?
"No," she hesitated. "It's just no one has even said that to me before, and as you know, I don't trust very easily."
"Tamar," his hand found the back of her head again, and he held her close. "I think you're beautiful, and I'm going to keep saying it until you believe that it's true. You are truly breathtaking. That's why I'm, in a way, thankful I have this suit on right now."
"Why would you want that?" She asked, curious.
"Because if I didn't, I'd be breaking my vow to remain without sex until I'm married."
Tamar sucked in a breath and held it. Did he mean what she thought he meant? Then she relaxed. She'd began to think he was made of stone. It was so hard to keep her hands off of him. Every time he laid next to her, when he was close, the feel of his fingers through her hair sent her blood on fire. Now she knew he'd been fighting these feeling as much as she was, that single fact made her feel ten feet tall.
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